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OfflineShroomyTunes
psychedeliac

Registered: 07/10/04
Posts: 686
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Don't make the mistakes I have.
    #5733963 - 06/10/06 11:43 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

I fell in love with a girl and we spent an incredible year and a half together, and a kind of rocky (but still happy when things were good) half a year together before one day she came over and after while I asked "is something wrong?" to which her reply was, "ugh, I should have taken a shot before this...I don't want to go out anymore" and left within two minutes.

It hit me so hard, and I was so vulnerable having some drug problems at that time among other unfortunate life circumstances and it made me say things that'd make me sound very desperate to her over email.

The terrible thing about email is that it's always open for you to speak your mind when you are in a rough position. Now I feel as if I've complicated things between us so much that I have both lost a love and a best friend forever. Its been two months and I told her I feel so bad for saying all those irrational things and that I've made changes in my life to try and make it possible to still have our great friendship.

The next day I told her I think I've been making some mistakes in the way I'm going about the situation, perhaps that I'm being too hard on myself, although I did have my faults, and also that trying to fix things between her is in fact distancing us more. I've said that I'm going to stop making contact with her for a while because it seems everything I say just makes things worse. Does time really heal all wounds? I hope so...

Lesson: Don't be too quick to speak your mind if you are going through very tough times...and also if you don't speak in person you'll most likely make it uncomfortable for when you do see them again.

I feel a strong urge to say something more to her, but I know I have to leave it alone, as hard as it may be. I just hope someday it won't be uncomfortable between us...


Edited by ShroomyTunes (06/10/06 11:45 AM)


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5733982 - 06/10/06 11:47 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Bitches are weak, that's what happens.

Sorry you had to go through it.


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OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
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Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5733987 - 06/10/06 11:48 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Damn bro sounds ruff... why dont u just hit the bar and try to fuck some other bitches? Do something to make her want you back, buy a 745li beemer or something and just stunt hard son!


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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Offlinequillini
one meanmotorscooter
Male

Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: Ginseng1]
    #5734012 - 06/10/06 11:55 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Does time heal all wounds? Yes.

Nothing wrong with speaking your mind man, just leave her out of it. I used to write really long letters to my ex and never mailed them. It helped me deal with my thoughts and keep things in perspective.

You got better shit around the corner, just hang in there.


--------------------
No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility.

Only connect...


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5734070 - 06/10/06 12:13 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomyTunes said:
I fell in love with a girl




white stripes?


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Offlineimmaculate
Stranger
Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 55
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5734075 - 06/10/06 12:14 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

constantly talking is not constantly communicating.

there is only so much that can be said. at some point words have to stop and actions have to take over. time apart can never hurt, it will bring perspective, and that is good.

i spent a lot of time spilling my feelings to my last ex as well.. it only complicated things. you are correct, our irrationality is impossible to hide during the desperation of loss.

time will be good. think of the positive side. you've obviously made some solid realizations about your life, and that you dont have to be so hard on yourself. put her aside for a while.. if things are meant to be, they will be.

there was a time when i could not imagine my life without the agony of losing my last girlfriend.. and now i laugh and wonder why i never realized things would get better.


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InvisibleAtheist
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Registered: 01/24/06
Posts: 13,705
Loc: USA
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #5734076 - 06/10/06 12:15 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Tell her you are thinking of suicide


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
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Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: Atheist]
    #5734084 - 06/10/06 12:16 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SpicyTunaRoll said:
Tell her you are thinking of suicide




thats in very bad taste


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InvisibleAtheist
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Registered: 01/24/06
Posts: 13,705
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Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: Atheist]
    #5734137 - 06/10/06 12:31 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

i agree


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
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Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: Atheist]
    #5734149 - 06/10/06 12:33 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Funny though.  :thumbup:


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5734173 - 06/10/06 12:41 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

I feel you on this. I've spent 3 years waiting for a friend of mine to come around after we were finished, for the second time, in 2003. She finally seems stable enough and wants to be friends again. Hopefully it all will be good and I'll have my friend back.

She and I both have said things to each other through the years, which we wish we'd never said. We've both apologized for them and have agreed to pretend like none of it happened, even though it's impossible in all practical senses. I'll actually be meeting up with her in less than a week, hopefully. I haven't seen her in person in a year or two.

Time doesn't heal any wounds, but it does make them fade.


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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Offlinegoliath_91710
King Dumpster
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Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 223
Loc: Las Vegas, NV
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5734232 - 06/10/06 01:01 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomyTunes said:
Does time really heal all wounds?




All this talk about time healing wounds reminds me of one of my favorite lyrics by Human League. It goes like this:

"It’s not always true that time heals all wounds
There are wounds that you don’t wanna heal
The memories of something really good
Something truly real, that you never found again"

--taken from "Louise"

But anyway, I myself am over all that relationshit
stuff. Peace. (Oh, yeah, and just jack off, imo. Pussy's way overrated.)


--------------------
"Participate joyfully in the sorrows of life." - Joseph Campbell


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OfflineShroomyTunes
psychedeliac

Registered: 07/10/04
Posts: 686
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: goliath_91710]
    #5734661 - 06/10/06 03:47 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks, everyone.

I really have been doing things to make a friendship, or perhaps more someday, possible. I used to smoked pot 5-10 times a day and inject a few grams of ketamine every month...I became withdrawn from our relationship (and my life) and my ex didn't like the drug-use at all, her not being a user of any. In the last 9-10 weeks since we broke up, and I realized the irrational shit i was doing (probably for about 10 days after the break-up) I have only smoked maybe 4 -5 times and haven't touched ketamine. I've left her knowing that I've made big changes and deeply miss what we once had but for now that I'm going to leave it to the side before things get more complicated than they already are (because im pretty sure if we saw eachother right now it'd be a bit awkward).

thanks again,
ST


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OfflineTangerines
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Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
Re: Don't make the mistakes I have. [Re: ShroomyTunes]
    #5735183 - 06/10/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

What is worse? Never getting in a relationship or the loss after being in one?


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