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Schwip
Never sleeps.


Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 3,937
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Anatomy of a cocaine craving.....
#5726784 - 06/08/06 01:48 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Not sure what point will made by creating this thread. I guess im just curious if there are any other recoving addicts floating around here.
As I type this, a mirad of good and bad memories of the last couple years come flooding back to me.
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The Craving.
My good friend(past tense) AJ enters the shop door. We greet each other and BS of the days tribulations.
With out hesitation, he pulls out a small wad of money.
I know what hes thinking......the same ritual we have been partaking in every friday for what seems like forever is about to unfold yet again.
"Lets make a run", he says.
"OK" I reply.
At that point I could not have said 'no'....... The sinking feeling was already in the pit of my stomach. Empty. A void that would only be filled by a large pull off the stem(crack).
We drive downtown. Like clockwork, the dealer is never late. He is a pro.
We get our rocks, barely even off the street, the stem is packed up and AJ is taking a big draw.
The senses go nuts. You are seconds away from that great release.....
He hands the packed stem over.
Click. Sizzle.....
Ahhhhh.....sweet sweet release.
Now my though patterns are changed. Thoughts of how can i get 20 bucks flood my brain. Can i go cash a check? Are the banks open. This rock will not last. Where will we get more. How will i fill the void again?
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-------------------- -------------------------------- " If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. " .............. "MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"
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ZippoZ
Knomadic


Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: Schwip]
#5727056 - 06/08/06 02:42 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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i studied this in school a few months back, let me see if i can recal how it all works in the brain.
Cocaine really only works on the endorphins of the brain if memory serves me right, the same things that are released when we laugh, and at other times through out our day. IT also has an effect on the catacholamines if i recall right, effecting your appetite and sleep patterns.
Crack is a bit different than plain coke in the method and speed in which it effects the body physically.
Basically its your brain wanting more of those endorphins released, tapping into your most basic sub routines of the brain, you just want more, and more. its the same rush for people that have a gambling problem, the rush, its addictive, and its dangerous to give into.
Just be careful with what you do, i know a lot of people that i will never talk to beacuse of what they have done to get that rush, robbed, cheated and stolen from people i know, my friends, and myself.
its not a good life, and you know the way to stop it, is to just say no to making that run.
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Schwip
Never sleeps.


Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 3,937
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: ZippoZ]
#5727089 - 06/08/06 02:52 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I found it interesting....while in rehab, I did a lot of reading on the actions of cocaine as applied to addiction.
The changes your brain undergoes, are amazing(not in a good way).
This is the only drug that will totally over-ride all basic instincts to survive.
In animal studies, the subjects would totally ignore food, water, sex...all for more cocaine.
They would put up with (no doubt) excruciating pain, to the point of death even, just for more cocaine.
God, what have i done.
Trying to be strong.
Relapsed a couple times, in the past month.
I almost need to just leave this area, the place where my addiction is based. But my business is also based here , so that is not an option.
Ah well, I will be strong. Just not go on the run.
-------------------- -------------------------------- " If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. " .............. "MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: Schwip]
#5727320 - 06/08/06 03:48 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've done coke and crack. I feel that the comedown overshadows the high, making it worthless as far as good times go.
You might consider focusing your energies elsewhere whenever you get that desire. It's all about making that decision to do the right thing right away.. don't let yourself be fooled.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy


Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: The_Hobbit]
#5730112 - 06/09/06 10:00 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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If you really feel like you might need to break away from that area you should seriously consider it. You have to at least distance yourself from your buddies who use. It will be VERY hard to say no when they come to you with a wad of cash to take a 'run'. Tell them you don't want to be a part of the scene anymore and not to contact you for awhile. I wish you luck. You are already on the right track. You realized this stuff is a problem and you want to do something about it. If you want it bad enough, its yours.
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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ZippoZ
Knomadic


Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: Grok]
#5730489 - 06/09/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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shwip. realisising that you have a poblem is the first step to getting yourself in a better place. Sometimes you do have to distance yourself from the issue and the people, but changing places never really changes how one feels and the cravings.
just dont go on the run man, i have faith in you.
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Schwip
Never sleeps.


Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 3,937
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: ZippoZ]
#5732469 - 06/09/06 10:20 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thanks for the support guys
-------------------- -------------------------------- " If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. " .............. "MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"
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ZippoZ
Knomadic


Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: Schwip]
#5732872 - 06/10/06 12:53 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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hey no problem man.
if you need anything were here.
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Kerbouchard
Stranger


Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 9,823
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Re: Anatomy of a cocaine craving..... [Re: ZippoZ]
#5735602 - 06/10/06 08:59 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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" Not going on the run" is a very hard thing to do, especially when you will get some free product, or make a few bucks off of it. It's hard to pass up blow when it's right there, for free. This is how it traps me almost EVERY TIME. It's rare that I will get it on my own, but when people call me, to call my guy to get it them, I almost always can't resist. Good luck your way, and remember the blow WD effects are only mental. Opiate users have it way worse. Stay strong people.
-------------------- "War Doesn't Decide Who's Right... It Decides Who's Left."
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