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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Someone figure this out for me
    #5725588 - 06/08/06 02:13 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Ok... here is my problem, i really need feedback so i know what to do...time is a factor!!!!!!!

there is this girl ive know for many years, we dated a few years back but we go into a fight an broke up an didnt speak to each other for a few months.

well during those few months she ended up going back to her exboyfriend and got pregnant. then getting married a year later.
(The boy is 2years old now)

me an her are best of friends and we are together all the time, everyday for about 4 years now (with the exception of the few months we didnt speak)

her husband is in the army in texas an we live in ohio... needless to say he is never around, an has not been around for about 2 and a half years. he has told her that he cheats on her, an she has cheated on him once in the past....this guy is a real piece of work, he has hit her a few times that i know of and has said some pretty messedup stuff. an is a violent drunk...

me an this girl have the most fun together an im with her an her kid almost every second i can.

he is trying to talk her into moving with him down to texas an leaving her mother that she currently lives with....

what i want to know is..... should i tell her to stay with me an that ill take care of her an her kid and tell her that i love her and i cant sit an watch her leave

i know shes afraid of him, but she always claimed to love him,an sometimes i get the feeling she wants to get back together with me, but i dont know what to do... i just honestly dont want him to take her away from me to put her in a bad situation along with the kid... i love them alot, i guess just didnt notice it till i found out i might lose them both...

please any input will help? what should i do?


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InvisibleMrSinister
Uncle T
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Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 4,252
Loc: Outworld
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725598 - 06/08/06 02:20 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Dude you may not want to hear this, but i think you should let her go.. Trust me i was in the same boat as you with a girl friend of mine. The whole you have more of her heart then he does, but she is with him, and she loves him , but cares for you thing..
Let her go man, cause it's only going to drive you fucking insane.. You are going to sit there, and think you know her better, and she is better with you, while she pines over this asshole, and breaks your heart in the end when she goes.. Dude love sucks lemons sometimes. But she is with him man.. I know thats hard to hear, cause you spend allot of time, but she has his kid, and she is his wife.. She choose him dude, and now your a comfort zone for her when he is being a dick.. I was there man, and it's hard to except this, but when you do, you can move on to find a girl perfect for you..
It's not healthy bro..


--------------------

"They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"

"Eric Stratton.. Rush chairman.. Damn glad to meet you.."


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OfflineTelepylus
Babyman
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Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 996
Loc: Seattle
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725606 - 06/08/06 02:25 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

to begin with you're wrong to mess with a married woman, especially if she has a child, and the father is defending your LIFE.

but... i would probably do the same thing as you,lol
want to take care of her and the child,
and if love is what you honestly feel
then go for it

everyone in this story seems equally fucked up, so what the hell

sure maybe he gets drunk and yells at her
i'm sure she's half responsible, after all she's cheating on him, which means she isn't really respecting the child's father, her husband, which proves she's not a Good Woman.
why do you want that?
lol, i dunno, but i do too!!!

it's possible she doesn't want to live with you, she just wants a friend. i mean, a husband and a child and a family is a big deal, and while her husband is away she finds it easier to try to forget about that because your love makes her happy. But it's just a fickle temporary fix for her, of course she's not gonna tell you that.

you know what's right.
leave her alone, she's married.
or maybe you tell yourself their marriage is bogus cause he's an asshole.

if it were me, my heart would want to be with her and her kid, and i would dream of that even if i knew it was wrong.
and to be honest, in the end, it would come down to how much i loved the child, not the woman.
and what effect this would have on the child's life, you being the daddy, cause maybe you stole him from a man who never cared for children in the first place- was an accident.

i guess i don't have enough information to really give you a solid answer. and it really comes down to what kind of man you are?
are you worth anything? can you raise a child and handle a woman?

do you worry about the military man stomping your guts out?
if i was him and someone was foolin' with my wife and kid, lol
yer crusin' for a bruisin'


Edited by Learyfan (06/10/06 12:28 AM)


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: Telepylus]
    #5725618 - 06/08/06 02:33 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

i care for the kid and her both the same. an i make more money than he does.. he dosent even like being around his own son from what i understand... an he didnt join the army because he "wanted to fight for our country" he did it because him an her fought so much that he would rather join the army than be a dead beat dad getting sued...

ive known her husban for 11 years, we grewup together... well i grewup.. he never really did


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InvisibleMrSinister
Uncle T
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Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 4,252
Loc: Outworld
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725623 - 06/08/06 02:37 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

BradleyT said:
i care for the kid and her both the same. an i make more money than he does.. he dosent even like being around his own son from what i understand... an he didnt join the army because he "wanted to fight for our country" he did it because him an her fought so much that he would rather join the army than be a dead beat dad getting sued...

ive known her husban for 11 years, we grewup together... well i grewup.. he never really did




Like i said dude, i been here.. You make excuses for yourself, and convince yourself what an asshole he is.. I am not going to rehash what i said, except in the end, you will get your heart broke.. Realize this isn't right, intill she says she wants you.. Please be ready for her not staying, and wanting to go be with him..


--------------------

"They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"

"Eric Stratton.. Rush chairman.. Damn glad to meet you.."


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725634 - 06/08/06 02:41 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

oh an f.y.i.... im not having sex with her.. shes married...even if he is a huge asshole, it would still be wrong.. but it seems like each day it gets harder an harder for us to stop it from happening. sometimes i sleep with her an i hold her, an sometimes we sneak an kiss or two when we have been drinking, but for the most part its just playing around


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725636 - 06/08/06 02:43 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

but wouldnt it be better to try? seems like if i lose she leaves, an if i dont ask shes still going to be gone?


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725639 - 06/08/06 02:44 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

but id rather have her as a friend that nothing at all... arg... lol being a human is wack


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InvisibleMrSinister
Uncle T
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Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 4,252
Loc: Outworld
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725642 - 06/08/06 02:50 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Dude i am not judging you, trust me.. And i am sure you are not having sex.. I was at were you were at right now.. But all i am saying is in the end, the illusion fades, and in till she says she wants to be with you like that, you got to be ready for her to leave in the end.. Could i ask you a question though? If you were her husband, and she was doing this behind your back, would you like it? Asshole or not, you need to get her to tell you what she wants man.. Not what you want, or are imagining is going on.. You need to speak to her.. But you are a comfort zone guy..


--------------------

"They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"

"Eric Stratton.. Rush chairman.. Damn glad to meet you.."


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: MrSinister]
    #5725654 - 06/08/06 03:04 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

that situation would never arise if it was just me her an the kid... i would take care of everything...

an what illusion are you talking about, an what am i imagining...

everything in my life is pretty real. shes said more then an few times she doesn't have anything in her life figured out, so if she doesn't know what she wants how am i going to find out what she wants?


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OfflineSchadenfreak
Familiar

Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 135
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5725693 - 06/08/06 03:37 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

I think the answer is blindingly obvious that you must kill the husband


--------------------
There is no valid reason why you should be reading this


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: Schadenfreak]
    #5725754 - 06/08/06 04:40 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Schadenfreak said:
I think the answer is blindingly obvious that you must kill the husband




The husband is in the Army....BradleyT wouldn't stand a chance.


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InvisibleHank, FTW
Looking for the Answer

Registered: 05/04/06
Posts: 3,912
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5726532 - 06/08/06 12:16 PM (17 years, 7 months ago)

I could not care for a child in the best possible way, knowing its not my own.


--------------------
Capliberty:

"I'll blow the hinges off your freakin doors with my trips, level 5 been there, I personally like x, bud, acid and shroom oj, altogether, do that combination, and you'll meet some morbid figures, lol
Hell yeah I push the limits and hell yeah thats fucking cool, dope, bad ass and all that, I'm not changing shit, I'm cutting to to the chase and giving u shroom experience report. Real trippers aren't afraid to go beyond there comfort zone "

:rofl:


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OfflineBradleyT
Stranger
Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 16
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: Hank, FTW]
    #5729432 - 06/09/06 02:13 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

lol kill the husband... an i might be able too... hes just a emt


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InvisibleMrSinister
Uncle T
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Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 4,252
Loc: Outworld
Re: Someone figure this out for me [Re: BradleyT]
    #5729437 - 06/09/06 02:18 AM (17 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

BradleyT said:
lol kill the husband... an i might be able too... hes just a emt




That's the spirit... Offer him a nice beer, with alittle cyanide, and the problem is all gone..:lol: Like i said bro, talk to the girl, and see where she stands..


--------------------

"They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"

"Eric Stratton.. Rush chairman.. Damn glad to meet you.."


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