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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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MDMA - Blessed in Solitude
#5712075 - 06/04/06 05:43 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Today I decided to go solo on a full dose of MDMA. I'm used to only having group sessions where it every now and again is pretty clear that the emphasis lies on talking, and that this may cloud the experience to some degree. On top of that I heard reports here on the Shroomery that despite lack of the social component, going solo on E could be very worthwhile.
---
I started out by consulting the I Ching if it were wise, and the I Ching urged me to go ahead.
A standard 1/8gr tab MDMA (tested) was crushed and dissolved into a glass of hot water, this was raised, a prayer was said and the drink was drank.
Coming up was a bit scary. A fullblown dose of MDMA on a pre-breakfast empty stomach! Never done that before!
As I felt the familiar sparkle at 20 minutes I relaxed, put on some some soothing African Koro music, and eased myself into meditative relaxation, as this is the best way to greet MDMA.
At 45 minutes I was rolling, at 1 hour I was rolling balls 
I just sat there, let my thoughts drift, making sense of my life past, present and future, while profound peace and euphoria swept through me. Initially there was a consistent tendency to call/visit friends, but I decided to grab a mirror and focus it inward.
It was hard taking the MDMA internal, because of the omnipresent social component which was now lacking. It filled with Experiencing instead.
After 2 hours I boosted another 60mg (a half-tab) in hot water and this blasted me off to the MOON, the hardest I've rolled in quite a while. Then, three hours after that I took a fade-out dose of a final 60mg half-tab to be gently let down to earth.
I broke some ground today. I won't go into much detail because most of it was of a very personal nature. Let me just say I took a long hard look at myself, my faults and strongpoints, and I learned quite something about myself today, ended some phases I'm in and wandered down the path of others.
I phoned a friend to apologize from some harshness I had unleashed on him a few days back. With me, there is control. Many people go beyond themselves with euphoria and say things inappropriate or otherwise regrettible. My head stays clear, the strongest effects for me are Empathy and Deep Inner Peace. I feel mighty good too, ohyea, but thats not as remarkable compared to the peace, which is similar to the peace of deep trance, but more joyous.
---
All in all the experience was very rewarding, I prefer the group experience but I have no problem what-so-ever with the solo state too. It was quite valuable and so much more than euphoria alone: The empathy turned inward and I got to know myself a bit better than I did before. 
I vitaminized strongly and drank watered-down apple juice with a pinch of salt for replenishing Na+/K+ balance. I discovered that going for a brisk walk results in you sweating like a pig on a hot grill and that showering's fun on E too 
The boosting doses were preceded by I Ching consultations, which kept riling me up to take more and as it turned out I experienced all the triumphs and pitfalls I was warned for. I proposed to take a small dose of mushrooms but the I Ching was clear that this would require strong discipline for merely progress in small matters, and with the likelyness of confusion at the end. This sounded reasonable to me so I called it a day 
Most of the day was spent day-dreaming, meditating and exploring the ancient wisdom of the I Ching
Twelve hours and a quarter gram (two standard tabs) of MDMA later I decided that partly to my surprise the experiments were both fruitful and pleasurable. I pushed my luck three times, led by the I Ching, and partly by the explicit guidance of I Ching, I succeeded in all three doses, and came out better.
It's been tempting, after all those hours, to pop another 1/8gr tab, but I decided to call it quits, and though recurrent the thought doesn't nag which probably means I got out of it what I was in for.
thanks for reading all of this!
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Mezcal
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 1,980
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Asante]
#5712136 - 06/04/06 06:00 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's been five years since my last solo MDMA experience, peppered by approximately 6 or 7 other group experiences in between then and now. There's good work to be done by one's self with the mindset... it definitely gave me some thoughts I've held onto ever since.
Were you working with pressed pills? I was under the impression that almost all are 100mg or under in the US... I think MAPS found that the average of MDMA-positive pressed pills in North America was around 70mg in a semi-recent study. How are you quanitifying them at 125mg?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Mezcal]
#5712296 - 06/04/06 06:44 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Were you working with pressed pills?
Yup!
Quote:
How are you quanitifying them at 125mg?
I live in Holland, where you can get your pills tested and quantified if for free if you sacrifice one for analysis.
Its valuable stuff, not a mere stimulant ^_^
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Mezcal
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 1,980
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Asante]
#5712325 - 06/04/06 06:51 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Heh. No wonder... I was working under the USA assumption, which of course is that the drugs are worse quality and it's nearly impossible to protect one's self from that fact.
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dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Asante]
#5713541 - 06/05/06 12:21 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sounds wonderful! 
What techniques do you use to work with the I Ching?
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: dblaney]
#5713548 - 06/05/06 12:22 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Oh yeah and what about your heart condition? I would think MDMA would increase the risk of something potentially bad happening?
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: dblaney]
#5713881 - 06/05/06 03:04 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
What techniques do you use to work with the I Ching?
I oracle the I Ching using a system of 24 sticks I devised after coming to the understanding about how the I Ching works. I find the original stick system to be way too complicated and the later developed coins system just isn't practical and appealing to me. In practice coins do not freely flip in mid-air, you get rolling coins and whatnot.
Instead I made 24 sticks from bamboo skewers, marked as six of each line:
----- -- -- --O-- --X--
and I lay this bundle flat on the table, selecting blindly and intuitively with my left hand the six lines of the hexagram, from the bowels of the Earth to the high Heavens. Because of blind intuitive selection during a meditative state you get a cross-over between the old stalks system and the modern coins system. One of the lessons the I Ching holds is that there is pattern in everything, so your pick will by no means be random, so all you really need are six representatives of each possible line. The esthetics my system adds is that you physically lay the hexagram on the table for study without need for pen and paper and adding and subtracting.
Then I use the usual techniques of following the flow of the hexagrams, upstream and downstream. Mostly I lay out the hexagram and the hexagram following from it (without changing lines), and work with those two hexagrams.
Supernatural people tend to find the I Ching way to scientific and scientific people tend to not even give the I Ching a chance, dismissing it with prejudice as supernatural. This is very unfortunate because it offers both the opportunity to expsand their horizons, and combine ancient wisdom with their own to get more insight.
I use the Wilhelm (Jung approved ) and Alfred Huang translations, which I both recommend.
Quote:
Oh yeah and what about your heart condition? I would think MDMA would increase the risk of something potentially bad happening?
With my particular condition there is no specific risk, except that an autonomously occurring Anggina Pectoris attack could be more severe because of the slightly increased myocardial oxygen demand. I pre-medicate with extra nitro (sustained release) before ingestion and have had no problems yet in dozens of uses, and I have deliberately driven it into excess to see if that would trigger problems, but I was OK. I can NOT afford to get a meth pill though, so I solely rely on tested pills.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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aquarian_mystic
Stranger
Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Asante]
#5715251 - 06/05/06 02:24 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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You have a great style of writing, very clear and flowing! :-) There's nothing better to clean out emotional cobwebs than a nice solo journey on MDMA, without the distractions of everyone else's emotions, perceptions, needs, etc. in your space! Much peace to you...
-------------------- Diet Culture Spirit
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Quote:
You have a great style of writing, very clear and flowing! :-)
Thank you, English is my second language! And peace with you too!
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: Asante]
#5719248 - 06/06/06 02:54 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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A little bit of advice: Unless i am the most foolish person on earth, i would stay clear of E
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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mushiemountain
i am the sacredone
Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5719287 - 06/06/06 03:02 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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why is that? E is a beautiful thing.
have you ever done it? or are you just being arrogant?
-------------------- I Ain't No Fool. Mama Didn't Raise No Fool. ----------primussucks
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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I am associated with quite a few former addicts, many of whom landed in rehab b/c of the drug. EACH AND EVERY one, regardless of their drug of choice, seemed to have a horror story related to the drug. I also know people who died from it. Really think E is beautiful? I personally stick to nature's harvest only
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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At least if u r goin to be that stupid, try not to do it to the point u land in rehab or the ER.
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5719398 - 06/06/06 03:27 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I AM NOT TRYING TO BE ARROGANT, however E is known to be dangerous. I stay w/ pot and shrooms b/c they have been proven to have no medical dangers.
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5720042 - 06/06/06 06:15 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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At least if u r goin to be that stupid
Unless i am the most foolish person on earth..
Sounds like a wee bit of self-righteousness to me.
I stay w/ pot and shrooms b/c they have been proven to have no medical dangers.
Not really sure what you're talking about...have you never heard of people having bad trips and being left with anxiety disorders or PTSD? Have you never heard of people freaking out on weed? I think Wiccan himself ended up with a heart attack after smoking some pot.
Just because the people you hang out with did not use certain substances wisely or responsibly, that does not mean that the substances are inherently bad. There are plenty of people who derive great benefit from their use. It depends on the person and how the substances are used.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: dblaney]
#5720234 - 06/06/06 07:04 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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OK that was an exaggeration, although I have never heard of someone dying hours after swallowing a few caps. In regards to "I think Wiccan himself ended up with a heart attack after smoking some pot.", kindly explain who the fuck is Wiccan and where is his autopsy report. Also, there is a difference between "I think" and actual hard evidence. PS. I'll stand corrected on the lethality of pot if u can present me an autopsy report
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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mikeownow
Humungus fungus

Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 2,856
Loc: WA,USA
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5720332 - 06/06/06 07:33 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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heat attacks always end with death? Now I am prety sure wiccan is still alive. I reemember his posts.
And my friend had a seizur after smokeing weed multiple seizurs in a row.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
Edited by mikeownow (06/06/06 07:33 PM)
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PSylopHiLe
stoner


Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 86
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: mikeownow]
#5720382 - 06/06/06 07:45 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Does your friend have a seizure disorder and Wiccan some form of heart disease? Im using an individual in normal health as an example. All the info. I have posted was based on what i have read, including stuff from this site. As a newcomer, i do not want to get flamed so lets wrap it up.
-------------------- "Try not to let your mind wander, it might not come back"
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mikeownow
Humungus fungus

Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 2,856
Loc: WA,USA
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5720661 - 06/06/06 08:55 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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It was my first seizur that my friend had ever had. It was fucking scary to cause I didn't know what to do.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: MDMA - Blessed in Solitude [Re: PSylopHiLe]
#5722286 - 06/07/06 09:37 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
kindly explain who the fuck is Wiccan and where is his autopsy report.
Wiccan, me, is the person who's post you reacted to in the first place and my autopsy report is probably due before 2100 AD.
It's true, I had a pot-induced heart attack. Pot-induced cardiovascular crises happen all the time to susceptible people, but the lobby efficiently sweeps them under rug. Don't start with the pre-existing disorder defense, because that's like excluding people who had a car accident from a road safety survey.
There is no certainty and there are no clear signs which tell you if pot or any other drug is high-risk for you, and these people are widespread across the population.
I smell some elitism in your drug-use newbie  You'll lose that pretty fast once you get real on drugs, when the Other Drugs Discussion forum becomes accessible to you (after X posts and Y days)
Natural isnt necessarily better than synthetic. MDMA is nothing other than a chemical combination from safrole of the Sassafras tree, methylamine present in fish and hydrochloric acid present in stomach acid.
It's good to advise caution, but extaggarating stuff you allegedly witnessed is bad form. Please know that most pills sold as Ecstasy are random drug cocktails. MDMA has a death rate of 1 in 50.000 users, and this is mostly due to gross polydrug abuse and other avoidable tragedy.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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