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OfflineDobie
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: eris]
    #5685060 - 05/28/06 11:13 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

my finger smells funny but hey my ass dont itch anymore


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This place is gayer than when the balls touch


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Invisiblelsdandfrisbee
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685064 - 05/28/06 11:14 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

hahaha


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685065 - 05/28/06 11:14 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

We need a dirty sanchez smiley. :wink:


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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OfflineDobie
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5685066 - 05/28/06 11:14 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

we need a hot carl one!


--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch


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Offlineeris
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Posts: 48,024
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685067 - 05/28/06 11:15 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





Quote:

eris said:

:shocked:





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Invisiblelsdandfrisbee
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: eris]
    #5685068 - 05/28/06 11:15 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

No we dont.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
    #5685071 - 05/28/06 11:16 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111





Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






Quote:

eris said

Yes we do!!!!111111111111111






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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685073 - 05/28/06 11:16 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

dobie said:
we need a hot carl one!




:yesnod:



--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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OfflineDobie
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5685077 - 05/28/06 11:17 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

one of my many goals in life is to get a chick to give me a blumpkin :laugh:


--------------------
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Offlineeris
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5685078 - 05/28/06 11:17 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mattzdope said:
Quote:

dobie said:
we need a hot carl one!




:yesnod:






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Invisiblelsdandfrisbee
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: eris]
    #5685086 - 05/28/06 11:19 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

ok what the fuck is bumpkin?


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OfflineDobie
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
    #5685089 - 05/28/06 11:19 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

getting your dick sucked when ya taking a poop


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685090 - 05/28/06 11:19 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

dobie said:
one of my many goals in life is to get a chick to give me a blumpkin :laugh:




"Like every other time she came over, Jill showed up ready for abuse. I met her at the door, pulled her by the hair into my place (she loved that) and started forcing myself on her (another of her favorites; believe me, this is not my normal way of greeting people).

As I was ripping her blouse off, I realized I had to drop the kids off at the pool, so I was about to excuse myself to take a dump, and then it came to me--something that had to be too much for her.

I took her by the hand into my bathroom, dropped my pants, sat on the toilet, pointed to my dick and looked up at her: “Start sucking.�?

Now, this has GOT to be the limit. There is no way this girl is going to give me head while I drop a fucking deuce. No way. NO girl would do this. NO FUCKING WAY.

What did she do? Say no? Leave in disgust? Storm out of my apartment in a rage? Nein, fraulein.

Without a moments hesitation, she went right to work. Just when I thought I had won the race to the bottom with this girl, I was proven wrong. Again.

How absurd is my life? Picture yourself in this situation: Sitting on a toilet in a relatively small residential bathroom, pushing feces out of your ass, with a girl on her knees in front of you, still fresh from work in her nice business casual blouse and linen pantsuit, lips wrapped around your cock, working it like a runaway. What would you do? Is there some sort of etiquette for this?

I started pushing harder. I didn’t care if I popped a blood vessel in my head and died on the toilet from an aneurysm like Elvis, I was determined to get her to quit. It was at this point I paused and thought to myself, “I bet this will be the only time in my life where I desperately wish for a disgusting flood of diarrhea.�?

The first turd (sadly, it was solid) plopped loudly into the toilet. No reaction. Nothing but continued enthusiasm for my cock.

The second turd…nothing. It was like she was just giving a normal blowjob. I kinda leaned back in the seat so the odor would have more room to waft up into her nostrils.

The third turd…she started to hit her stride, really working her hand on the shaft and slurping the head.

The fourth turd…aren’t her knees at least hurting? This is a tile floor.

I pushed and pushed and pushed until I was on the brink of giving myself hemorrhoids when my colon finally just gave up, completely devoid anymore fecal matter…and Jill was still going strong. No matter how bad the smell got, nor how loud I grunted, nor how disgusting the noises my ass made were, she would not stop. Nose full of fart, mouth full of cock, she never even paused. I don’t know how she kept breathing. I damn near choked from the smell and I was a full two feet further above the poop than she was.

As I sat there on the almost uncomfortably warm toilet seat, unwiped, smelling my own shit, my ass sweating and falling asleep at the same time--about to come because she was so good she could bring me to orgasm in a coma--I gave up.

Fuck it. If I can beat her, choke her, shove things into her ass and get incredible head on the toilet, and STILL not find her limits, then she wins. I can’t go any further.

Many of you may be thinking, “Dude, there are tons of things you could have done worse than that. Why not a Cleveland Steamer?,�? etc, etc.

That is a legitimate question, but even I have my limits. I’m not Chuck Berry and I’m not crossing into the world of defecation for sexual gratification. I know it turns some people on to take a dump or piss on other people, but I’m sorry, that shit is just out of bounds for me…literally.

I mean, I was willing to race her to my bottom, but not the bottom. I was not willing to go beyond things that I was comfortable with. The fact that she EAGERLY sucked me off on a toilet seat as I took a dump really sent it home--this girl meant business. It almost makes my skin crawl thinking about what I would have had to do to hear a “No�? out of her. Yeah, I could have brought a dog in and asked her to fellate it, but for fuck’s sake--what if she said yes? Then what do I do? Watch her suck off a Dalmatian while I wait my turn? Hit it from behind as she slobs on Fido’s bone? Thank you, but no."


Full story here :grin::

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/girl_almost_beats_tucker_at_his_own_game.phtml#611


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
    #5685091 - 05/28/06 11:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I know nothing of the bumpkin!


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Invisiblelsdandfrisbee
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: eris]
    #5685094 - 05/28/06 11:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Thats funny shit


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OfflineDobie
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5685109 - 05/28/06 11:25 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

great story dude :laugh:


--------------------
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OfflineSnaggletooth
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685117 - 05/28/06 11:27 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Damn you all I got locked out till page two :grin:



ahahah my comp must suck 


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Atheist Chat


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Dobie]
    #5685128 - 05/28/06 11:30 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah I thought that story was great also. Somebody linked me to tuckermax.com from here a couple months ago, can't remember who it was at the moment though. You should browse through his stories man, there are some real gems. :grin:


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: Snaggletooth]
    #5685129 - 05/28/06 11:31 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

must be my smiley spamming ass to blame.


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OfflineSnaggletooth
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Re: Absolutely no reason at all [Re: eris]
    #5685138 - 05/28/06 11:34 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

ahaha I did not know that could happen


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Atheist Chat


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