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Catalysis
EtherealEngineer

Registered: 04/23/02
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The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate
#5666097 - 05/23/06 07:24 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Now, everyone likes humor and loves to laugh. However, I have noticed a strange phenomenon. When you ask a girl what she desires in a guy, 99% of them will reply in some way, shape, or form that they want a guy who is funny and will make them laugh. On the flip-side, I have *never* heard a guy say he wants a girl who will make him laugh.
I am curious if anyone knows the psychological basis for this. For instance, do women just naturally feel uncomfortable around men and need to be actively reassured somehow by humor? Any girls here care to take a crack at explaining this to me, a clueless neanderthal?
I ask because I just broke up with a girl who essentially demanded that I be in a perpetual stand-up comic routine until I just couldn't take it anymore. I want to understand this before I dive into my next disaster, er relationship.
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vegitative
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/06
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Catalysis]
#5666106 - 05/23/06 07:28 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I've seen it too, it doesn't really strike me as weird that they want somebody who is funny. But your also right that I don't think the majority of the guys I know would ask the same of a girl.
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Catalysis
EtherealEngineer

Registered: 04/23/02
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: vegitative]
#5666129 - 05/23/06 07:33 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
I've seen it too, it doesn't really strike me as weird that they want somebody who is funny.
Yeah, it is actually so normal that it should go without saying. This is why it perplexes me that women generally have such a strong desire for it compared to men.
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Catalysis]
#5666299 - 05/23/06 08:14 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Who really knows what they want anyway?
it's best to get what you need and not speculate as to what that is, just that you need it and are open to finding it.
Then in getting what you need, your wants are also fulfilled.
Not "i want a girl that is such and such way" just.... "I want a girl" or "need" but I'm not sure if we need them.
I think we do.... the sexing it up keeps us sane and happy and healthy and it helps us to not feel alone. But that's only if you don't want to become a hermit.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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Syle
Kenai Sigh


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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: leery11]
#5666329 - 05/23/06 08:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Not all women are like this you know.
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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NickSoapdish
Hypochondriac


Registered: 04/15/05
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Catalysis]
#5666649 - 05/23/06 09:43 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I've noticed that many women who claim that a good sense of humor is the most important quality of a mate would quickly abandon that desire for a physically attractive mate, or one with money, etc... Many times they say it to convince others or themselves that they have profound standards, when they really don't. Men do the same thing when claiming to be in search of less superficial characteristics in women, when they're truly full of shit.
Other women (as well as men) do really love humor, because when you laugh you feel good. Genuine laughter usually overpowers dark thoughts, insecurities, fixations, etc, and lightens the mood, temporarily. Women are more reactive to emotional sensations than men, and grasp memories of such as the determining factors in their decisions and judgements. So naturally there would be some association between a person that makes you laugh all the time and feeling good all the time, and the desire to be around that person.
I haven't actually noticed the desire for a humorous mate being more prevalent in women, many men claim to want the same thing in a woman. If it is true, though, it may also have to do with stereotypical gender roles in our society. Men are usually expected to be funnier than women. Watch TV for an hour and you'll see what I'm talking about. On every sitcom, the main male character, the husband, or whatever (usually a comedian) is the star of the show. They usually receive the upper hand in battles of wit on these shows. There are many more male "comedic" hosts of talk shows, and many more successful male stand ups. It shapes humor as a desirable trait in men.
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Edited by NickSoapdish (05/23/06 10:34 PM)
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: NickSoapdish]
#5666775 - 05/23/06 10:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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maybe funny guys are less likely to be wifebeaters?
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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adrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: kotik]
#5667950 - 05/24/06 09:15 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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There was a study not too long ago about how women's pleasure/reward center in the brain is activated by humor moreso than than in men. Might have something to do with it.
I love my humorous mate.
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WIZOLZ
Poor with Needs


Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 290
Loc: Monte Carlo
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Catalysis]
#5668887 - 05/24/06 01:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I guess woman have an instintual, bio-chemically (adrug) desire to be entertained...^_^
Humor is a beutiful thing, but shouldn't be the definition of what makes a person less or more attractive. I dislike a person who constantly brings situations out of context by using humor as a backscape.
Leery11 - I agree. Its in our nature to have pyhsical and emotional connection.
Brandon - TV - The great manipulator.
Kotik - Perhaps, but humor can be used negatively, ecspecially if its directed towards debasing others.
-------------------- ---------o----o----o-------o------------------------o--o-o- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Requim for a Dream - Paul Oakenfold --------------------------------------------------------------- "The mis/abuse of any form of power, is the worst form of ignorance" ------------------------------------------------------------- WIZOLZ - Lover with a Killer's Smile
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: WIZOLZ]
#5669442 - 05/24/06 05:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
WIZOLZ said: I guess woman have an instintual, bio-chemically (adrug) desire to be entertained...^_^
In a relationship, the man supplies food and shelter and defends their territory and family. THe man Hunts, fights, and struggles to support the family. The women stay at the "home" and prepare food, warmth (clothing) etc. and ofcourse, we go in tribes. So, the men hunt together, fight together. Not much laughter there. The women do work hard, but they work in an environment where they are not sneaking up on anyone or anything. they can talk openly, laugh, and enjoy conversation while they work. The only time they arent allowed to talk openinly is when danger is near.
This mind-set has been past down through generation in our subconscience. This is why women get uncomfortable when there is no conversation (this is how you know that the silent car ride means that the girl isnt really diggin you). Women like to talk and laugh, and the only time the dont is when there is something wrong (ofcourse there are exceptions such as just feeling so cozy or what ever...). And men can enjoy the company of others with much less conversation. Just being there is enough.
And like someone said, even though they enjoy laughing, they can easily choose someone who is "atractive" or has economical strength. This is because it satisfies the other need of safety. The man was always the one who defended their family. The stronger and more courageous the man, the more food an protection he will offer. Many times guys say that women only like assholes. Well thats because assholes show that traight of being courageous and physically superior (atleast they give off the impression) and can trigger atraction.
There are many reasons people can feel atracted to others, but I believe it all boils down to subconscious desires passed down rfom our caveman days.
My two cents atleast.
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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NickSoapdish
Hypochondriac


Registered: 04/15/05
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: eligal]
#5669622 - 05/24/06 06:10 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
eligal said: There are many reasons people can feel attracted to others, but I believe it all boils down to subconscious desires passed down rfom our caveman days.
People who strongly desire socially accepted standards of physical attractiveness sometimes base their decisions on what others think of them. Many people are afraid to choose a physically unattractive mate (even if they don't find the person that bad looking) because of the social consequences. I guess that's not genuine so it may not apply, but it doesn't really have anything to do with passing down societal roles.
I agree that genuine attraction is largely based on the subconscious, but the subconscious mind isn't entirely inherited from previous generations either.
The whole hunters and gatherers social roles for men and women still exist today because they survived through evolution, probably because having that sort of balance supports perpetuation of the species, and partly because of people's lasting fear of change over time.
An individual's environment directly affects their subconscious too. Think about victims of sexual abuse, who repress memories of it into the subconscious. Don't you think that traumatic event shapes their desired characteristics in a mate? That has nothing to do with cavemen.
Like almost everything, attraction is comprised of an interaction between nature and experience.
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Catalysis
EtherealEngineer

Registered: 04/23/02
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: NickSoapdish]
#5669738 - 05/24/06 06:39 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Many times they say it to convince others or themselves that they have profound standards, when they really don't.
Yes, I have noticed this as well!..but it seems to do more with the other main quality women desire in men, "confidence".
By definition a cocky, good-looking guy will always be confident, while a "confident" ugly dude is really just considered arrogant.
Ah, the wonder that is the female mind. You have to love em.
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Telepylus
Babyman


Registered: 05/22/06
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Catalysis]
#5669782 - 05/24/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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if you give a poll to women asking them what they want in a man
and then you find a man who has all those attributes not one will want him
i wont say women don't know what they want- people don't know what they want.
--------------------
Law of Love
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: The Psychology Behind Womens' Desire for a Humorous Mate [Re: Telepylus]
#5671053 - 05/25/06 12:22 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Fuck that. I know what I want. Thing is...it doesn't exist. Which means I either have to lower my "standards" or don't do shit. What to do? Catch-22.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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