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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5665528 - 05/23/06 05:04 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. And what is that lesson?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Edited by Icelander (05/23/06 05:06 PM)


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Icelander]
    #5665644 - 05/23/06 05:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

"Let me ask you this. I am involved with a young person who because of their early childhood relationships is resistant to any dicipline whatsoever. They believe that they are entitled to be taken care of and that others needs do not matter too much. Neither dicipline nor unconditional support seems to dent their pattern of behavior. Now Diploid, how do you deal with this? "

Be the water dripping on the stone. Present a positive example...always lead from the front....never the rear. When you say no mean it. Never go back on your word...particularly if that word is "No". Be infinitely patient, but take zero shit. Find common ground. Engage in a common activity with him. Martial arts lessons would be good. Put aside your personal prejudices. Do not baby them under any circumstance. Be ruthless. In other words be a warrior and do not let your immpecability slip in his presence. It will take time, maybe a long time, but it will work. Consistancy is the key.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5665668 - 05/23/06 05:42 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

If the previous has no effect....slip a rattlesnake into his bed at night.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Icelander]
    #5665712 - 05/23/06 05:51 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
I think you have raised girls. :grin:



two
true


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5665891 - 05/23/06 06:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I get along famously with girls, and maybe that's why I have boys. :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Icelander]
    #5665942 - 05/23/06 06:39 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

you know why I don't have you on ignore, Icelander?

because I'm looking for something.

I'm looking for hope and faith.

Free your mind, bright young child.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5665952 - 05/23/06 06:43 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

That's no answer to my question.  And is off topic.

Cut the wise guy crap and say something. :tongue:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Icelander]
    #5665957 - 05/23/06 06:44 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

mod edit: No flaming. If it was an example of the topic, please make that more clear in the future.


Edited by Annom (05/24/06 02:41 AM)


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: Icelander]
    #5665975 - 05/23/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

see how I used respect first, then resorted to fear?

fear is obviously the only thing you respect.

mod edit: no flaming


Edited by Annom (05/24/06 02:41 AM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667268 - 05/24/06 12:29 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

fear like in
a woman scorned?

stick with respect
even if you get no results
use the patience of job.

fear is plain goofy


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5667277 - 05/24/06 12:34 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

you don't like scary movies?

why so close-minded :smile:


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667296 - 05/24/06 12:39 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

the preta is a buddhist term for hungry ghost.
the preta realm is not a pleasant place.
you can come out of hunger without scaring the other monkeys from their nibbles.
even gollum can come out of the fear complex.
gentleness is the physics of love
contradiction and paradox fuel some jumps when necessary
but you don't need to keep jumping when you arrive at a nice place.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5667356 - 05/24/06 12:57 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

every place is pleasant from the right perspective.

except earth, in its current state. This place really blows right now.

Thats why I'm sitting here ruining my vacation typing shit I shouldn't have to say to you people on the internet right now.

Of course, I am and always have been a writer, so I am kind of married to that job, so to speak. I don't understand why everyone is so afraid of writers. We really try to be good people.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667372 - 05/24/06 01:05 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

c'mon, earth is excellent
though it suffers the fanatics, the oil families, the hegemonies
but it is totally excellent just as it is
even in its suffering of the goofies - it is a great example of a system that accommodates change, flux - even kareoke.

have a nice vacation from those compelling pharos and their lovely pyramids of doom, they have made you maudlin.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5667387 - 05/24/06 01:10 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

how will it accomodate change when the sun explodes?

that could happen whenever. ya never know


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667587 - 05/24/06 03:32 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

fear vs. respect

or punishment vs. facilitation?

I think any (unsavory) action by another person might be better dealt with through the understanding that they're dealing with their environment using whatever coping mechanism they've grown up with or been the most free to utilize.

Punishment is old school - its a lesson in black and white
Respect is close to the word but i think its more like

facilitating open communication between the care taker and one who may be acting inappropriately (by whoevers standards??) so that the person may learn through a non threatening example what a better action might be.

Its about understanding any action and trying to see what motivated it, rather than becoming angry that it happened, or feeling like a reprimand is necessary - thats the easy way out.... product of laziness? quick fix society? who knows..

i ramble ....

but ill never want to use violence with kids - or time out chairs or taking toys away as punishment - that seems like a wrong message to me... even if its the easy way to get the reponse i want from my children.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


Edited by mickdawg666 (05/24/06 03:36 AM)


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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: ManianFH]
    #5667620 - 05/24/06 04:11 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

have you ever seen Matriculated? The last short in the Animatrix?

sounds to me like what you are talking about. Thats what Hell would be like if it were up to me. Or at least one version of hell. There are many hells, because you guys keep making so many of them.


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Invisibledorkus
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Registered: 04/12/04
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667643 - 05/24/06 04:46 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

A huge, rough samurai once went to see a little monk, hoping to acquire the secrets of the universe.

"Monk," he said, in a voice accustomed to instant obedience. "teach me about heaven and hell."

The little monk looked up at the mighty warrior in silence. Then, after a moment, he said to the samurai with utter disdain, "Teach YOU about heaven and hell? I couldn't teach you about anything. You're dirty. You smell. Your blade is rusty. you're a disgrace, an embarrassment to the samurai class. Get out of my sight at once. I can't stand you!"

The samurai was furious. He began to shake all over from the anger that raced through him. A red flush spread over his face; he was speechless with rage. Quickly, menacingly, he pulled out his sword and raised it above his head, preparing to slay the monk.

"That's hell." said the little monk quietly.

The samurai was overwhelmed. Stunned. The compassion and surrender of this little man who had offered his life to give this teaching about hell! He slowly lowered his sword, filled with gratitude, and for reasons he could not explain his heart became suddenly peaceful.

"And that's heaven," said the monk softly.

-Zen story


You so often seem angry, Doctor Justice. :grin:


Edited by dr_mandelbrot (05/24/06 04:55 AM)


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Fear and Respect [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5667657 - 05/24/06 05:04 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
sounds to me like what you are talking about. Thats what Hell would be like if it were up to me. Or at least one version of hell. There are many hells, because you guys keep making so many of them.




hell to me is like - people having to do tedious tasks forever - like picking up and arragning billions of needles without sleep until you go insane - and then get tortured for not doing your task.. shit like that

i could see in some way how being in open communication relationships could be a hell to some people - that would be interesting to see how long it would take for one to crack.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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