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OfflineAnonotron
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Good calling out from work excuses
    #5663572 - 05/23/06 10:24 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I've used all the classics...a billion times (stomach flu, flat tire, car won't start, stabbed my girlfriend and have to hide the body before the cops show up, etc)

I need good, unquestionable reasons as to why I'm not coming in this pit for a day or two at a time.

Thanks for looking at my wiener...I mean thread.


--------------------
Results speak louder than words.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663580 - 05/23/06 10:26 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

my favorite has always been "sorry, I'm feeling too good to come to work today, I'll be at the lake"


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663584 - 05/23/06 10:27 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

i always like the i'm not coming into work today line.......


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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #5663590 - 05/23/06 10:28 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

It's obvious that you guys have bosses that are far less douche baggy than my bosses.


--------------------
Results speak louder than words.


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InvisibleMarijunaIsGood4U
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663594 - 05/23/06 10:28 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

try: my ex-girlfriend came over and she's telling me that she's pregnant, FUCK!


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Offlinedomite
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: MarijunaIsGood4U]
    #5663602 - 05/23/06 10:30 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Day you had a violent episode of diarrhea.


They wont ask any questions.


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Offlinemonamine
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663618 - 05/23/06 10:37 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

kidney stone


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663649 - 05/23/06 10:43 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

"I have the shits"

always works

and if you have to still come in shit your pants and ask to go home


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663650 - 05/23/06 10:43 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonotron said:
It's obvious that you guys have bosses that are far less douche baggy than my bosses.





nope, mine throws temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, he's 50 fucking years old
and still acts like he's 3


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663667 - 05/23/06 10:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonotron said:
It's obvious that you guys have bosses that are far less douche baggy than my bosses.





nah, mines a real asshole


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: goobler]
    #5663673 - 05/23/06 10:49 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

goobler said:
"I have the shits"

always works

and if you have to still come in shit your pants and ask to go home




Seriously, that ALWAYS works. What you do is call and don't say exactly what's wrong but make it clear it's your stomach, and just be like "I really don't want to go into it.." and they won't wanna hear about it and will rush to get off the phone.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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Offlineadamj
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663861 - 05/23/06 11:28 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Say you've pulled your back out while at the gym, hurts to stand etc.

i've done that one

my boss called me a nob but in a funny way lol


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: adamj]
    #5663869 - 05/23/06 11:29 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

never, ever, never mention a back/neck injury to your employer

unless its on a workers comp claim


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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: goobler]
    #5663913 - 05/23/06 11:37 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

haha....me at a gym.


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OfflineRambel
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663941 - 05/23/06 11:43 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I once told my boss that I had witnessed an assault, had to go to the police station to give a report, and I wouldn't know how long it would take. Worked for me.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Rambel]
    #5663945 - 05/23/06 11:44 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

yea but that can too easily be checked out


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InvisibleRoadkillM
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663964 - 05/23/06 11:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I got food poisoned...and I'm pissin out my ass!~

I'm having my wisdom teeth removed...

My grandma died...hate when they ask where to send the flowers!~

I'm in jail...

I'm in detox...

I'm in rehab...



My old lady left me...

My truck is broke...

My dog died...

wait...thats a country song!~




I'm going fishin....take your job an shove it!~





tc


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5663984 - 05/23/06 11:51 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

My shoestring broke, and so I have no shoe to come to work in...

My car has the sniffles today..


--------------------
:orly:



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Offlinetallgreen
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: goobler]
    #5664014 - 05/23/06 11:55 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I'm lucky to have a nice boss. But in terms of making an excuse, does it matter? Do you get credit for having fucked up things happen to you. If you call in sick a lot it seems like they won't beleive whatever you say. I wouldn't if I were your boss and this was a regular thing. If I were in your situation I would keep it private. Like, "I have to take some time of for 'personal' reasons". Make it sound serious and private, like it would be an invasion to ask for more details. Then they will make up your excuse for you.


--------------------
Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love.
- The Beatles


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: tallgreen]
    #5664037 - 05/23/06 11:58 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

If you're working any kind of trades job and you tell your boss: "I have to take some time of for 'personal' reasons"

He'll tell you to go ahead and take the rest of the fuckin' year off. :smirk:


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:orly:



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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664064 - 05/23/06 12:01 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

What you hippies fail to realize is that employers are looking for people who show up for work, not people who make excuses.

Any employer worth his bullwhip will quickly spot an excuse maker and send them down the fuckin' road.

You wanna call in sick all the time then just work day labor. They don't give a fuck who don't show up for work. Then you can miss all the days you want and work only as much as is nescessary to survive. Problem solved! :grin:


--------------------
:orly:



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Offlinedomite
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664083 - 05/23/06 12:05 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Hippies are too fragile for labor jobs though.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: domite]
    #5664101 - 05/23/06 12:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I've seen many a hippie swinging a hammer before and always showing up for work.

Well, maybe not the "always showin' up" part. :lol:


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Offlinetallgreen
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: tallgreen]
    #5664104 - 05/23/06 12:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Maybe that would only work at my company. They give people respect here. But I've worked retail, and I can imagine that happening.


--------------------
Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love.
- The Beatles


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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: tallgreen]
    #5664443 - 05/23/06 01:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Who're you calling a hippie? I'm just a lazy punk rocker, sir.


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Results speak louder than words.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664447 - 05/23/06 01:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

oh, you're a loser then?


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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: goobler]
    #5664461 - 05/23/06 01:23 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Do "loser" and "kick ass mother fucker" mean the same thing here?


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664482 - 05/23/06 01:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

goobler is an employer so he's not hearing any excuses.


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:orly:



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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664528 - 05/23/06 01:34 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

tell them your having personal family issues


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664533 - 05/23/06 01:35 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Microcosmatrix said:
goobler is an employer so he's not hearing any excuses.




hahaha

I hear them all, all the time


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InvisibleBrainiac
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: danlennon3]
    #5664544 - 05/23/06 01:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I've been fucking the wife of the boss all night and don't feel like work today. :smirk:


--------------------
:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664547 - 05/23/06 01:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Microcosmatrix said:
You wanna call in sick all the time then just work day labor. They don't give a fuck who don't show up for work. Then you can miss all the days you want and work only as much as is nescessary to survive. Problem solved! :grin:




:confused: what?


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Cowgold]
    #5664572 - 05/23/06 01:42 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

meflogic


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InvisibleSilversoul
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664580 - 05/23/06 01:45 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I've never called in sick. I was once excused from work when I puked after getting there, but I've never actually missed work unless I asked for the day off ahead of time.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Silversoul]
    #5664588 - 05/23/06 01:46 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

see, now thats a good employee


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Cowgold]
    #5664609 - 05/23/06 01:50 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Well apparently, based on his initial post, working day labor would be ideal for his work habits.


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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664672 - 05/23/06 02:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds to me like someone who's more interested in work than life.

I always feel bad for people when they tell me they've never called in to work. 'Cause seriously (not to sound clice, but...) fuck work.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664689 - 05/23/06 02:07 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Well, it's easy for me to talk because my work consists of running around the house in my underwear and posting on the Shroomery.

I work for like 15 minutes a day.


--------------------
:orly:



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OfflineAnonotron
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5664918 - 05/23/06 03:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Are you hiring?


--------------------
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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Good calling out from work excuses [Re: Anonotron]
    #5664943 - 05/23/06 03:05 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

If we were I'd be working 2 jobs!


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:orly:



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