Im writing this on behalf of my friend who's very upset at the moment. Its hard for me to explain her situation but im going to try, ill show her my post before i send it to see if she thinks its ok.
So i guess it started about 7 years ago, she met this girl through some strange coincidences, and a friendship started.
They're both in collage so they don't see each other that much, only on holidays but they both make the effort when they can and they've always keep in touch through other means, because over the years they have become best friends.
Thats all ok, this is where the problems start !
My friend has since last christmas been developing strong feelings for this girl. They are extremely close, closer than you would imagine most best friends to be. They're very physical when it comes to showing care and love, and the way they talk to each other you would get the idea they were a couple. This is very confusing for my friend who has recently realized she is gay, and has fallen in love with her best friend.
The way her friend acts suggests that she might be open for a relationship, though its so hard to tell if she's gay or even bi. She has said to my friend in the past that she has wondered herself, which of course confuses my friend even more.
So my friend has been hanging around wondering and waiting, and trying to figure out her best friends very mixed signals for the last 5 months.
Now its got to the point where this girl has said to my friend quite unwittingly ( cos she's completely oblivious of my friends feelings ) that she has a crush on some male teacher at her collage.
My friends natural reaction is sadness, fear, and the feeling that she has to do something.
So ill go to the main point !
Do you think it would be a good idea for her to tell her friend about her feelings ?
There's afew different routes she could take :
1. She could try and carry on as things have been, but its a waiting game with no certainties and she's always getting hurt.
2. Tell her how she feels and risk losing everything, though there's a chance something positive could happen, and there's a chance it might just end up turning the relationship awkward.
3. She just disconnects herself, this would be a protection type of thing but she would lose her best friend. I personally think if she did this she may aswell tell her.
4. This is the one im so unsure about. Do you think its possible to let go of these feelings and be able to carry on with being best friends. There's a big risk of this, if its even possible to achieve, turning back into that old waiting game.
Benefits of the waiting game are that there's still some hope that something might happen in the future. It could be false hope, and there's just as much chance that everything could go wrong and she would be left even more devastated.
Its a harsh situation and she really doesn't want to lose her best friend, but at the same time this situation is hurting her alot and making it hard for her to function.
Any of your help or ideas would be massively appreciated !!.
As you can tell this has been going on for awhile, so any extra/fresh input would be a great help !
Thank you for any replys !!!
Edited by Mike_yy (05/21/06 01:38 PM)
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