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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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I'm in a dilemma
#5654137 - 05/20/06 06:36 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I decided to stay sober for 1 month exactly 6.5 days ago and so far I've succeded. Now a friend is suddenly having a party at his house tonight and wants me to bring him some molly. Guarranteed that if I go I will end up dosing myself as well. There's no way I can possibly go to this party without ending up drinking or dosing, not a chance. I'm that weak.
But this whole event is unbelieveable and is the kind of crap that happens only when I'm trying to stay clean. This friend has never thrown a party yet & if I don't go another friend of mine won't be comfortable going because he only knows the host and myself.
I know I'm being tested by whatever power in the whole fucking cosmos you want to believe in because this kind of shit only ever happens when I'm specifically trying to stay away from drugs. There's always some damn test, be it the guy at the bus stop who randomly pulls out a joint and when I say no thanks he insists that I partake, ridiculing me if I don't, or it's the one and only guy on the streets at 3 in the morning who happens to be selling blunts rolled in cigar papers for $5, or some friend who's otherwise completely sober has a fight with his girlfriend and so brings 2 g's of coke over to my house looking for some hang out time. DAMN, this is just another one of those events! And I'm 99% sure that I'm going to end up going, and if I do there's no way I can stop myeslf then.
I hate this. why why why why why...
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theuser
DON'T LOOK

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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654142 - 05/20/06 06:38 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Don't overly use drugs. Go there, use the molly as long as it's been like 2 weeks since your last dose or something and have fun man.
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unbeliever
Yo Daddy!

Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Gallifrey
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654147 - 05/20/06 06:40 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you really want to stay sober, do it. If you want to go party and have fun with friends, do that. Neither one makes you a bad (or good) person.
-------------------- Happiness is a warm gun...
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BLAST_420
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/05
Posts: 1,307
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: unbeliever]
#5654148 - 05/20/06 06:41 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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bad and good are just words its what you do that counts
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: unbeliever]
#5654151 - 05/20/06 06:43 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah, but I always feel depressed and demoralized when I fail my self-control, yet I have a strong desire to do these things, tho it makes me feel like I'm falling behind, spiritually.
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: BLAST_420]
#5654159 - 05/20/06 06:45 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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So you are saying that there is actual value to these choices, and that their results are predictable unavoidable? I'd love to think that I'd calm myself down somewhere along the way and that in the end it wouldn't be a big deal, but it never turns out like that.
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unbeliever
Yo Daddy!

Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654161 - 05/20/06 06:45 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Disco Cat said: Yeah, but I always feel depressed and demoralized when I fail my self-control, yet I have a strong desire to do these things, tho it makes me feel like I'm falling behind, spiritually.
The situation is only what you make of it. If you think it's a test, one you need to pass then you best do what you need to in order to ace it. If you think maybe you're just working yourself up over nothing, then go party with your friends, stay safe and have fun. Remember though, I could be part of your test! 
Either way, you're still the same person.
-------------------- Happiness is a warm gun...
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BLAST_420
Stranger
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Posts: 1,307
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654164 - 05/20/06 06:45 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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then take zoloft
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: unbeliever]
#5654170 - 05/20/06 06:46 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
unbeliever said: Remember though, I could be part of your test! 
Damn, and that's responsibility poking me in the chest right there.
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: BLAST_420]
#5654174 - 05/20/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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>>then take zoloft
Wish it was an option, would a double dose of molly have the same effect?
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BloodNOil
Captain Zeep

Registered: 10/08/03
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654176 - 05/20/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Promising not to use drugs is foolish. What you mean to promise is to be responsible.
Go, take the MDMA, and bond with your friends. That's one of the things it's for. Just don't spend your last cent on it or take too much or miss work. That would be irresponsible.
-------------------- It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
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BLAST_420
Stranger
Registered: 06/19/05
Posts: 1,307
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654184 - 05/20/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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whats molly
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654186 - 05/20/06 06:51 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Don't go, stupid.
Wah wah all the fun shit happens when I quit doing drugs...
I call bullshit.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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eligal
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Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: unbeliever]
#5654201 - 05/20/06 06:56 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
unbeliever said: If you really want to stay sober, do it. If you want to go party and have fun with friends, do that. Neither one makes you a bad (or good) person.
for real
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Quote:
Senor_Doobie said: Don't go, stupid.
Wah wah all the fun shit happens when I quit doing drugs...
I call bullshit.
It's not even about fun, it's about pressuring situations, & you have no idea...
I made my decision: I must do everything to stay clean tonight, I've habitually failed all my cleansing periods for 6 years in a row so who known what personal rewards I might find should I actually pass through one with strength. ^^ These words in no way reflect the views or opinions of the original poster and are subject to change without notice.
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unbeliever
Yo Daddy!

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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654229 - 05/20/06 07:01 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Disco Cat said:
Quote:
Senor_Doobie said: Don't go, stupid.
Wah wah all the fun shit happens when I quit doing drugs...
I call bullshit.
It's not even about fun, it's about pressuring situations, & you have no idea...
I made my decision: I must do everything to stay clean tonight, I've habitually failed all my cleansing periods for 6 years in a row so who known what personal rewards I might find should I actually pass through one with strength. ^^ These words in no way reflect the views or opinions of the poster and are subject to change without notice.
It sounds like you don't really want to do it, at least not on the deeper level. So find something else to do tonight. Even if it's just renting some cheezy movie and staying in. If you're serious about abstaining, you have to keep busy. Idle hands and all that.
-------------------- Happiness is a warm gun...
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: unbeliever]
#5654236 - 05/20/06 07:03 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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It's true, for a long time I've believed that on a deeper level I want to do these things, but I've found it hard to wrestle with - always afraid of what I'll miss out on, and equally feeling dismal that I know I'm gonna fail from the start. Tonight I feel good about things tho.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654257 - 05/20/06 07:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Good about what exactly?
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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domite
Puppet

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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: Disco Cat]
#5654272 - 05/20/06 07:13 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Disco Cat said:
I made my decision: I must do everything to stay clean tonight, I've habitually failed all my cleansing periods for 6 years in a row so who known what personal rewards I might find should I actually pass through one with strength. ^^
It sounds like you are pretty clear on what you want. Just remember what you have already sacrificed next time you want to give in.
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion


Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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Re: I'm in a dilemma [Re: domite]
#5654277 - 05/20/06 07:15 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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So he's not going?
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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