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compman
Stranger
Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 150
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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need advice
#5649501 - 05/19/06 09:28 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I was wondering if any of you shroomerites could help me with something.
I've been a depressed loser for the last 4 years of my life, it's been hell. For so long I've avoided even thinking about my problems but now I think I have it figured out.
I'm shy. I don't know how to be myself around people I don't know and somehow I've let that dominate my life and decrease my happiness as a person. I try over and over to get over this...by drinking, doing E, whatever it takes...to feel comfortable in social situations and show my true self. but im sick of it...i need to break out of my shell and live my life to its fullest potential...can anyone give me some advice or perhaps some personal stories?
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dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: need advice [Re: compman]
#5649805 - 05/19/06 11:29 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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There has never really been a shell there. You probably imagined it as a child or at a young age as a defense mechanism, and it's stuck there ever since. The more you resist the shell and the more you worry about it, the more power you give it.
So realize that in reality there is no shell. Just drop it.
Of course, this is easier done than said.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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VirgilKane
Miner for truth and delusion


Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 1,131
Loc: lowdown
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Re: need advice [Re: compman]
#5649811 - 05/19/06 11:31 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think that for you to do this you need to fully accept yourself just the way you are. Then you won't be afraid of what other people think of you. However you are, whatever you feel is just the way you are right now. Accept it without judgement and know that it's alright and then you might have an easier time exposing who you are to other people.
I don't mean to sound like it's an easy thing to do, believe me, I know it's not. It will take a lot of introspective, sometimes painful work on your part and that's just the work on yourself...not to mention slowly factoring other people into the equation.
Just accept who you are without judging (Yeah, and by who's fucking standards anyway?!) yourself and if you can accomplish this you will have an easier time accepting that other people are who they are too even if they're assholes in relation to you.
It sounds to me like fear is your Prison and the Warden is your judgmental attitude toward yourself. (Ego) Get to know that Bastard and he won't seem so scary and powerful. I mean what's the worst he's gonna do, make you feel like an unfulfilled hermit? 
It's all good...however it is. 
Sit quietly and look at how you look at yourself...I bet it's not good. When in reality you are good...no matter how you are. Everything is scarier when it's in the dark. Go inside yourself and shed some light on that scary shit and I bet you laugh at it after a while 
Good luck, Friend and hang in there.
-------------------- Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense... "Religion is a defense against a religious experience" Carl G. Jung "So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience." Terence McKenna
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Lord_Shiva
The Mahadeva


Registered: 05/15/06
Posts: 37
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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I was also very shy as a teenager and almost sociophobic. In every class I was a stranger, outsider and so on. I don`t know what has changed in my life since then, but when I look back at my former self I can say that I am a completely different person now. I try to sum up the things that changed a loser boy into a young, self-confident man: - started smoking (don“t know, but I have the certain feeling that it was important for me) - my first girlfriends, the feeling of being loved and accepted - I found great friends along the way - last, but not least: psychedelics These facts appear in the chronological order they also appeared in my life. Hope it helps you
-------------------- satyam shivam sundaram
Edited by Lord_Shiva (05/19/06 12:16 PM)
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niteowl
GrandPaw


Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: need advice [Re: compman]
#5650388 - 05/19/06 01:56 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Here is my personal story of beating depression.
It's kinda long, but an easy, quick read.
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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WIZOLZ
Poor with Needs


Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 290
Loc: Monte Carlo
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Re: need advice [Re: niteowl]
#5650922 - 05/19/06 04:54 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Life is very short and our emotions and feelings play a very very crucial role in our direction through life, so doing positive activities, other then substance abuse can really help give us a sense of personal liberation. Almost like we've contributed to somthing, somhow and made a difference. I mean, I seen a young man walking down the street yesterday, he had downsyndrome and he looked lost. I didnt inquire or anything, but I think he was running away from somthing, trying to escape, to feel like a person just once in his life.
See, the sad thing is that Liqour, Drugs and negative perspective's will only pile on the feeling of guilt and depression more, because you associate them that way and they influence your emotions because your allowing them too. Your looking for somthing to fill you, but these things are empty to begin with.
Start being kinder to yourself, make small changes, challenge your routine, BREAK OUT OF IT MAN!!! and find that thing which gives you a special involvment, but YOU have to be the one to do it, and YOU have to act to accomplish it. Even if it was as simple as grabing your fishing pole and going down to some small stream to sit and catch nothing all day, just be comfortable not having to live up to false ideals and social standards. Everyone grows differently, take your losses and use them to help others, but to help others we have to help our selves first, get balanced and then say "yes, Im in control, im ready for life now." Just like the young man I seen yesterday, dont let nothing drag you down, not even yourself. Keep searching for answers and dont give up on the possibilities. I know its easy to say, but to feel it inside, to find a purpose, that's purer then anything. I dont know you, but I really hope you can finnaly see through this false self and really catch onto the wave. ^_^
Peace to you man ! 
Amen. ^_^
-------------------- ---------o----o----o-------o------------------------o--o-o- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Requim for a Dream - Paul Oakenfold --------------------------------------------------------------- "The mis/abuse of any form of power, is the worst form of ignorance" ------------------------------------------------------------- WIZOLZ - Lover with a Killer's Smile
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