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kaiowas
lest we baguette


Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,501
Loc: oz
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what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love'
#5641441 - 05/17/06 10:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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After living with my ex-girlfriend for a year, the time suddenly came for it to come to an screeching hault. Nevermind that i didn't want it to end and she did, nevermind that the reason is because she found interest in someone else, all there is to know is that falling in love is one the greatest ways to hurt yourself. hence 'falling' the wording should say enough!
Only judging from my own experience, living with the one you love is the best way to get to really know the actual person. The ins and outs, what ticks and what doesn't. how to 'deal' with the other when unerring insanity rears its ugly head to chomp your sanity to bits. No wonder how those who get married without living with each other file for divorce after 1-5 years.
for those that are saying, 'you're just jaded' well yeah partially, but doesn't mean I haven't moved on. Let me ask this though, if you really don't know the actual person, how can you really be 'in love' with them more than any other friend or relative? maybe examples are better suited 
oh those of you that have been in relationships might indetify with this!...that bubbly happy go lucky feeling that leaps into your heart to fill the chasm that was there when you find that 'one' person. only months or even years later does that feeling leave you dry and cold cause thigns didn't turn out the way that was expected. the other person turned out to be something completely different than you expected. where's that feeling now??? its illusion, it's great to experience, but don't fall into it!! its there so you can feel comfortable and know a person on that level, but falling in love means reliance.
if you rely on another person like that, for your happiness, chances are you're onna end up hurting yourselves! its unfair for you, and unfair for the other person. the end result of a lot relationships should tell you about 'falling in love' all to often it ends in not talking or things getting too 'weird' and you don't act even remotely the same afterwards. how fickle the mind is when one convention is brought to its knees and another convention is built up.
She and I are still great friends, dispite her new friend (she went out with him the day after webroke up, ouchies), and despite my new friend, we still sleep in the same bed, kiss hug, just no sex, fair enough I guess. funny how it would have went to if we both hadn't stepped outside ourselves and realise that, 'hey I can find a new person and you can find a new person and we can make our circle that much bigger!' four way sex....maybe in the future...or maybe not 
I remember all the promises, together forever! soulmate! good way to seal your fate into despair. instead of becoming a leech, I have decided to cherish the friendship first and formost, and realised that life and ideas changes with the tides. nothing is ever permenant, not even that idea!
so for those of you in a 'serious' relationship, realise that it could also have serious consequences, for you and the other person. I'm sure there are soulmates, but I'm also sure that if thats the case, they don't need to tell each other so.
thanks for reading
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641459 - 05/17/06 10:54 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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So what the hell is the point of falling in love in the first place if it's all just some stupid illusion of happiness that isn't even real?
Good times, soulmate, wedding planning, baby talk....NOPE. NEVER MIND. SOMEONE CHANGED THIER MINDS.
I didn't want to break up. I still don't. And you know what? I feel like a sucker.
Love makes people suckers.
I love my cat.
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absolute zero
The Hero

Registered: 11/04/01
Posts: 796
Loc: 127.0.0.1
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641483 - 05/17/06 11:03 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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One day Love met Friendship. Love asked, "Why do you exist when I already exist?" Friendship replied, "To put a smile where you've left tears."
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Herbus
...

Registered: 10/19/04
Posts: 1,477
Loc: Reading the map...
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: absolute zero]
#5641546 - 05/17/06 11:25 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Maybe it's just a great big mutation of ape mating procedures...?
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Herbus
...

Registered: 10/19/04
Posts: 1,477
Loc: Reading the map...
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: absolute zero]
#5641558 - 05/17/06 11:27 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
absolute_zero said: One day Love met Friendship. Love asked, "Why do you exist when I already exist?" Friendship replied, "To put a smile where you've left tears."
artificially flavored to taste incredibly fruity.
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debianlinux
Myconerd - DBK



Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 8,334
Loc: Over There
Last seen: 7 months, 1 day
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: Herbus]
#5641633 - 05/17/06 11:42 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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no one can love you any more than you can love yourself. you can love no other any more than you can love yourself.
it is within this paradigm that all the answers to the woeful questions about failed love can be found.
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Herbus
...

Registered: 10/19/04
Posts: 1,477
Loc: Reading the map...
Last seen: 10 years, 23 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: debianlinux]
#5641652 - 05/17/06 11:47 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Love is your connection to the source.
In some occurences, you might find that connection through somebody else...
I think the rest is just species perpetuation.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641672 - 05/17/06 11:56 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yes indeed, I'm alone again. And here comes emptiness crashing in. It's either love or hate, I can't find in between, 'cause I've been with witches and I've been with a queen.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway. So now it's just another lonely day. Further along we just may. But for now it's just another lonely day.
Wish there was something now I could say or do. I can resist anything but the temptation from you. But I'd rather walk alone than chase you around. I'd rather fall myself than let you drag me on down.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway. And now it's just another lonely day. Further along we just may. But for now, it's just another lonely day.
Yesterday seems like a life ago, 'cause the one I love today, I hardly know, You I held so close in my heart, Oh dear, Grow further from me with every fallen tear.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway. So now it's just another lonely day. Further along we just may. But for now it's just another lonely day. For now it's just another lonely day. For now it's just another lonely day.
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debianlinux
Myconerd - DBK



Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 8,334
Loc: Over There
Last seen: 7 months, 1 day
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: Silversoul]
#5641678 - 05/17/06 11:59 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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And when I asked for a separate room It was late at night And we'd been driving since noon But if I'd known How that would sound to you I would have stayed in your bed For the rest of my life Just to prove I was right That it's harder to be friends than lovers And you shouldn't try to mix the two Cause if you do it and you're still unhappy Then you know that the problem is you
And it's true that I stole your lighter And it's also true that I lost the map But when you said that I wasn't worth talking to I had to take your word on that But if you'd known How that would sound to me You would have taken it back And boxed it up and buried it in the ground Boxed it up and buried it in the ground Boxed it up and buried it in the ground Burned it up and thrown it away
You put in my hands a loaded gun And then told me not to fire it When you did the things you said were up to me And then accused me of trying to fuck it up But you've never been a waste of my time It's never been a drag So take a deep breath and count back from ten And maybe you'll be alright
And the license said You had to stick around until I was dead But if you're tired of looking at my face I guess I already am But you've never been a waste of my time It's never been a drag So take a deep breath and count back from ten And maybe you'll be alright
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641683 - 05/17/06 12:01 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Love does fine on its own. When ego gets in the way, there is trouble.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: MOTH]
#5641696 - 05/17/06 12:07 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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She is your ex and you still sleep in the same bed tigether? I can't fathom this at all. When I'm done with a person, I'm done. I move on and if I run into them...I run into them. I don't go seeking them out. I MOVE ON. I start the next phase of my life.
Why would you even think of doing this? Sorry, I'm not yelling at or mocking you in anyway...I'm just trying to understand it.
Blinkidiot nailed it on the head. One of you is going to get hurt and guess who it's going to be.....YOU. You're pretty much there anyway. 
**and this was meant to be replied to Kaiowas.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
Edited by McKennaDMT (05/17/06 12:08 PM)
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DoctorJ


Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641714 - 05/17/06 12:11 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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"the second you fall in love with someone, they'll do something to make you wish you hadn't."
excessive love for anything or person will cost you dearly in the end.
my advice is to obtain a state of calm psychosis. Its what women want, so they can walk all over you.
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: DoctorJ]
#5641731 - 05/17/06 12:18 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said:
excessive love for anything or person will cost you dearly in the end.
There are no truer words.
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OneMoreRobot3021


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: CherryBom]
#5641746 - 05/17/06 12:24 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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For some reason I thought it was you that had walked away in your situation Bom, not him. I can't imagine someone just changing their mind like that. God..I'd be devastated. I'm scared.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5641845 - 05/17/06 01:01 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Love is a wonderful thing. It's not artificial when you are actually involved in it. I'm in a similar situation as you, in that my ex (together 5 years) still wants to be friends. Fuck that; it's too painful. But that doesn't mean I regret any of the time I was with her. We had really good times, and I look back on the spring and summer of 2001, when we were first together and desperately in love, as one of the happiest times in my life. It makes me want to cry now, but in time I'll be able to smile about it. Good times.
Thing is, I know some happy times are just around the corner. If I was still with my girl, I would be looking toward a content but dull and unhappy future that most likely would involve me cheating on her. But now that we are no longer together, the whole cycle can start over again, and who knows? Maybe the next girl will be "the one".
Love can be exhilerating and devastating, but the two don't cancel each other out. This is the spectrum upon which we experience life. We have these few years to live and learn and experience, and it's not always pleasant, but where it is unpleasant is where it builds character and makes you a better person. What is this devastation with which love is lost, if not an inverse measure of the exhileration you have to look forward to when you find it again? It's life, and it's a bitch, but it's the best you can do until you die.
Your days with this girl are over, my friend. Say goodbye, lick your wounds, and start again.
Know that you aren't alone. Again, I'm going through the same thing almost. That's how I'm able to wax poetic about it.
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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Jfisher
fungusaficionado


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Sealand
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: absolute zero]
#5641863 - 05/17/06 01:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
absolute_zero said: One day Love met Friendship. Love asked, "Why do you exist when I already exist?" Friendship replied, "To put a smile where you've left tears."
-------------------- Any information written above is purely fictional. Any images do not belong to the owner of this account.
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Gillette
Jaded


Registered: 01/10/99
Posts: 4,058
Last seen: 6 months, 27 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: Jfisher]
#5642157 - 05/17/06 02:55 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Its the convention of love that ruins it. Its the rules that ruin it. Love as in "being in love" "falling in love" ruins it.
Unconditional love, loving no matter what, without rules, without expectations, just fully excepting another person or thing, thats love.
The rest is lies.
-------------------- ~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~ A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: kaiowas]
#5642233 - 05/17/06 03:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
kaiowas said: that bubbly happy go lucky feeling that leaps into your heart to fill the chasm that was there when you find that 'one' person. only months or even years later does that feeling leave you dry and cold cause thigns didn't turn out the way that was expected. where's that feeling now??? its illusion
That feeling is nature's way of tricking us into making babies.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: CherryBom]
#5642251 - 05/17/06 03:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
CherryBom said:
Quote:
DoctorJ said:
excessive love for anything or person will cost you dearly in the end.
There are no truer words.
Bom is all cynical now like the rest of us.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: Gillette]
#5642316 - 05/17/06 03:43 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gillette said: Unconditional love, loving no matter what, without rules, without expectations, just fully excepting another person or thing, thats love.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5642332 - 05/17/06 03:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Welcome to the cynical crowd. I'm not only the president, I'm a client.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Gillette
Jaded


Registered: 01/10/99
Posts: 4,058
Last seen: 6 months, 27 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5642359 - 05/17/06 03:54 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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-------------------- ~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~ A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie


Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: absolute zero]
#5642398 - 05/17/06 04:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
absolute_zero said: One day Love met Friendship. Love asked, "Why do you exist when I already exist?" Friendship replied, "To put a smile where you've left tears."
--------------------
The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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Springs
Mine(d)


Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 330
Loc: sky hi
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: what I learned about conventional thought and 'falling in love' [Re: Gillette]
#5642568 - 05/17/06 04:39 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gillette said: Its the convention of love that ruins it. Its the rules that ruin it. Love as in "being in love" "falling in love" ruins it.
Unconditional love, loving no matter what, without rules, without expectations, just fully excepting another person or thing, thats love.
The rest is lies.

Right arm!?
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