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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
why I need a girlfriend
    #5637667 - 05/16/06 02:05 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

to tell me I'm right when I'm right, and to tell me I'm wrong when I'm wrong

To see me through my darkest hours

to drag me outside

to bounce ideas off of

to drive me home from the dentist when I'm all whacked out on morphine

to rub my back when I'm sore

to cook me delicious food when I can't think of anything worth eating

So I can lavish my affections on her

so I can get rid of all the money I don't know what to do with

so I can share things that are really great, and so I can share things that are really sad

so I don't have to wake up alone every morning

so I can have a muse to inspire me to create

so I can have someone who loves me as much as I love everything that exists

so I can see things through another perspective.

so I can have someone at my back with a submachine gun when the zombies start coming out of the ground with a thirst for human blood.

So I can have a bonnie to my clyde, and we can both scream together: "You'll never take me alive, copper!"

to give me strength when I need it most

to give me a project to work on

so we can enlighten eachother

so I can take care of her

so I can love her with all my heart

so we can have sex so great, it makes the ground shake.

so I can take someone with me when God beams me up to a much better place.

so I can lay around with her all day just being happy


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5637708 - 05/16/06 02:14 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Wait...so you start a bunch of threads about how you hate women and now you want a girlfriend?


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5637717 - 05/16/06 02:17 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Why I need a girlfriend:

So I can shove it in the face of all the OTDers who make fun of me.


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5637726 - 05/16/06 02:19 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
Wait...so you start a bunch of threads about how you hate women and now you want a girlfriend?




don't try to understand my will

foolish mortal

:lol:


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: Silversoul]
    #5637727 - 05/16/06 02:19 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Silversoul said:
Why I need a girlfriend:

So I can shove it in the face of all the OTDers who make fun of me.




You should probably go and edit that post where you explain how you want to find a female version of yourself. That comment is just the kind of thing that OTD'ers look for.


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5637734 - 05/16/06 02:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

we all want a version of ourselves of the opposite sex. I think ss is on the right track.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5637736 - 05/16/06 02:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Eh, I'm just kidding. I don't give a fuck what the haters think. I don't even check OTD anymore.


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5637738 - 05/16/06 02:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

oh yeah, I thought of another one:

so I can have a Nancy to my Sid, and we can both tell the world to "Fuck off and die!"


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: Silversoul]
    #5637740 - 05/16/06 02:22 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

You have to check OTD for the whole TM/Shroomism saga. Good shit.


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5637743 - 05/16/06 02:22 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

agreed, that shit was hilarious


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Offlinemonamine
dork
Male

Registered: 04/28/06
Posts: 1,089
Loc: Florida, US
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5637756 - 05/16/06 02:25 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
oh yeah, I thought of another one:

so I can have a Nancy to my Sid, and we can both tell the world to "Fuck off and die!"




Do you plan on strangling your GF then overdosing on heroin?


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Offlinetwigz
stick boy
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/29/04
Posts: 689
Loc: From up in a tree
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5637757 - 05/16/06 02:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

man now you got me sad that i don't have one ether, its been a wile. its just nice to have some one to hold and to love. I'm sure we both will find a nice girl. :yinyang:


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Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: why I need a girlfriend [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5637816 - 05/16/06 02:39 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
You have to check OTD for the whole TM/Shroomism saga.  Good shit.



:rotfl:

Holy shit, that is funny!  I'll need a good head's up whenever there's drama this good in OTD.


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