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Offlinesoulcircus
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    #5611764 - 05/10/06 07:53 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus<p>Reason for deletion: .


Edited by soulcircus (04/21/08 02:52 AM)


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Invisiblemoog
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5611892 - 05/10/06 08:51 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I think i understand what's going on here, so i'm just going to say what i think it is, but if it sounds like bullshit to you or it just doesn't sound right to you then ignore it...

Right now you're at a crossroads. During your psychedelic explorations you allowed additional fragments of your soul to enter your body. This most likely happened during your out-of-body and ego loss experiences. The soul has several fragments to it that are literally different personalities. Yet they are still all part of your soul, part of who you are at a higher level. However, it's very rare for more than one part of the soul to occupy a human body during a lifetime. When two soul fragments are in the body at the same time, it's usually a crossroads or transition period where one part will leave and the other will take over.

But right now it seems you have at least 2 soul fragments occupying your body, which accounts for the split personality. One of these was the one you've (most likely) had since birth, and lived your life up until your experimentation with psychedelics. The other came in during one of your out-of-body or ego-loss experiences. This part of you wants to go on to a higher level of consciousness, beyond your everyday mundane life. It wants to continue exploring this stuff, while the other part does not.

So you have a choice right now, although the choice is more at the subconscious level. You may have already made a decision. However, if you make a conscious decision aobut this, about which way you want to go in life, then one of the soul fragments will recede back out of your body leaving the other to continue. But you must allow this to happen. It will happen while you are sober and you'll know when it happens, because it will feel a little like ego loss. It may feel like you're dying but no part of you is dying. It's just changing, that's all.

I would recommend in the mean time, to take a long break from any drugs, even alcohol. Just give your mind a rest for a few months.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5611934 - 05/10/06 09:06 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I can only guess at what is going on but I'm willing to do that.

I think you may be right about releaseing kundalini. Too much too soon. I have heard of this before. It can be a long way back but that is going to be your spiritual path. The Handbook to Higher Consciousness is just about the best book I have ever read. IMO you would want to stay working with the concepts in this book. You will need to prefect the skills of surrender to what is happining and unconditional self acceptance, as things are now, each moment of your journey.

I would also say that you don't need to protect anyone from what you are and how you choose to handle your life. You don't need to protect your Mother or anyone. It might be good to seek out some advice but you will have to be very careful and trust yourself if the advice you get does not sit well in your heart of hearts. Some people will just not know what is good for you although they will claim to be experts. They won't have your best interest at heart. Trust yourself as best you can.

You sound like a pretty good person on an amazing adventure. A crisis. The Chinese define crisis as a dangerous opportunity. Trust that you are safe in the Universe no matter what happens from now on. Best of luck to you dear one. :heart:

You may always PM me if you want to chat. :smile:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: moog]
    #5611985 - 05/10/06 09:26 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

here is a big hug


many forces converge in this, and we are lonely travelers, yet we are not alone.

in wanting to experience life and grow fast you have outstripped all defenses, now needing it to slow down,
now you yearn for more comprehensible pace,
something you can feel healthy with and build upon.

so, number one,
slow down,
like don't be hasty or impatient about slowing down either,
but practice slowing down, like a meditation, where you just slow down a little for 2 or 3 minutes at a stretch a few times per day, and try not to be impatient about this work, or angry if you have trouble slowing down. It needs to be started as gently as possible.

a hug is a kind of intimacy.
it happens when things come together,
seen in a high speed movie those things riccochet off eachother,
but slowed down, it becomes clear that something resonant
happens when they share closeness.
intimacy is the most valuable thing.

not the appearance of it like hollywood or the front yard on campus, but the real thing, sharing what is priceless.

Slowing down is the big work, learning to be what we are, learning to handle the potentially immense flow of signals that we are a moebius process of, selecting some things to be most resonant with, letting it grow and taking care of it.

like
finding one's voice and learning to sing.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5612049 - 05/10/06 09:50 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Very good advice. Nice to see the hugs too. :heart: :smile:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineBlueCoyote
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5612818 - 05/10/06 01:49 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Tough experiences, dear friend in such a young age.
I try to relate, perhaps it will help a bit. As my english is not the best, feel free to ask back or pm me if you want.
From a psychological perspective, the fragmentation of ones mind is mostly trauma based. That is, when your mind disassociates and looses its grip on reality. Each fragment is a safe island, where you don't have to realize the base of the traumatic experience. That in general.
In special, every human brain is split into two parts mainly and most people tend to use more of the one or more of the other part. This stems from the division of our brain into two brainhalves and sometimes traumatic experiences result in the mind wandering into one of the specific halves. That is almost perfectly described by your feeling of the heat in only one half of your face.
Even your parents, one more materialist and one more spiritual causes trouble in the integrity of the mind, so strong contrasts built out in the partaking brain-parts, and integration gets more and more a problem.
And there we are at the point, yes. Try to calm your mind, and let it re-integrate again. Try to get the fragments together, where they can make sense. You are somewhere there in your mind and this place needs to be a stable base for reintegrating the fragmented parts (not only the two brainhalves) into your single kind of identity, which can know of the fragments and bring all the parts together.
It does not make sense to push single parts away, like it doesn't make sense to concentrate totally on materialism and disobey spirituality or vice versa. It is a good point to start to concentrate on the material reality and the provable facts to get the prime stability back, but then, there is room to integrate all the other parts into this 'single' consciousness, to get an understanding of the totality of your integrated self.
As you are young, you will learn your preferences later, but you can then choose of a broad collection of former fragmented 'realities' now integrated into the single self and you are the one, who chooses which aspects you want to share light on your personality.
That is much easier said as it is done and it will require time.

As I said, I hope that can bring you some help and if you have some questions, feel free to ask or pm me.

A big :hug: and much :love: from me, too ! And all the best ! You will make it, have trust in yourself.


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'


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Offlinenatethegr8t
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: BlueCoyote]
    #5614141 - 05/10/06 06:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Just remember nothing is how it seems....heaven and hell are states of mind...and nothing is really 'real' AT ALL!!! there are infinite possiblities for reality!!

you may want to look into this book The Four Agreements, and get these poisoness thoughts out of your mind!!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1878424...5Fencoding=UTF8

Watch this please :smile:
[url=
&q=what+the+bleep]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1022317287422673112&q=what+the+bleep[/url]

Good Luck to you


--------------------
Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe ~ Tao Te Ching


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5614519 - 05/10/06 07:47 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

What's done, is done, but as bright and knowledgeable as you appear to be, you are developmentally too young to be taking psychedelics, especially under peer pressure and without the guidance of an experienced elder. Your lack of patience is further indication of your not-as-yet-acquired maturity, as you used yet another powerful and more dangerous (to the cohesiveness of your developing ego-structure) substance, namely, DMT. You are in NO way in a position to be discussing the dissolution of ego because your personality is still in adolescent development. One requires a strong and resilient ego in order to be healthy (whole) and able to function in the world, and it is NOT about dissolving the ego, it is about dissolving ego-defenses and Transcending the ego.

You evidence a certain amount of ego-inflation however, and your doctors have no doubt noted this in their diagnosis of a "thought disorder," which, in all likelihood looks to them like schizophrenia, paranoid type. Stop using substances and get grounded! Your confusion is also evident with regard to confounding different models of psychopathology. Whether uncontrolled Kundalini or psychosis, for all intent and purpose you are experiencing a pathological state that can result in deterioration. Called decompensation, if you continue to take substances or practice techniques which cause a loosening of associations to your physical body (and its sensations) or to the associated social roles appropriate to your stage of development, you are going to end up like Humpty Dumpty - "all the king's horses and all the king's men, couldn't put Humpty together again."

"When a person goes mad, a profound transposition of his place in relation to all domains of experience occurs. His center of experience moves from ego to self. Mundane time becomes merely anecdotal, only the eternal matters. The madman is, however, confused. He muddles ego with self, inner with out, natural with supernatural. Nevertheless, he can often be to us, even through his profound wretchedness and disintegration, the hierophant of the sacred. An exile from the scene of being as we know it, he is an alien, a stranger signaling us from the void in which he is foundering, a void which may be peopled by presences that we do not even dream of. They used to be called demons and spirits, and they used to be known and named. He has lost his sense of self, his feelings, his place in the world as we know it....Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be breakthrough. It is potentially liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death."

- The Politics of Experience by R.D. Laing, page 133


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #5614576 - 05/10/06 08:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

mark the agnostic,
if you spoke that way to me in my youth I would do everything possible to prove you wrong.
from your age and wisdom can you see why that would be be the case, without me having to deconstruct it here.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineDavid_vs_Goliath
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5614708 - 05/10/06 08:33 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

My suggestion would be to find something you are deeply interested in and pursue it. This will ground you in reality. If you feel you want to make a difference, get involved with others and other causes. I think you need to find some friends who can help you get grounded in reality, people to talk to and help you understand some things. Just some suggestions>

Much luck and love


--------------------
"People living deeply have no fear of death."
"Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love."
"Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5615095 - 05/10/06 09:55 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Maybe so, but he seems fairly conversant with terminology, and I am known for no-nonsense, short-term interventions during crisis, not warm-fuzzy acceptance and 'spiritual' advice. Maybe you would've succumbed as an acid casualty like so many of those from my peer group. If he can employ the intelligence that shines through the static, he should be able to discern clinical compassion. He is in a psychiatric crisis, I'm not going to pussy-foot around. It's intended to be a Zen-slap, it is not malicious. Hopefully he'll awaken to it and respond favorably.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #5615527 - 05/10/06 11:17 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

And he is getting plenty of other advice for balance. I think it's good in the mix and is just as likely to succeed. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #5615590 - 05/10/06 11:34 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I agree wholeheartedly with Markos.
"Stop using substances and get grounded!"

You've got plenty of time to fulfill your spiritual path, don't rush blindly into it at full speed. Right now, you seem to be aimlessly floating around in zero-gravity. I suggest following Markos advice and finding a place to plant your feet on the ground. With your feet firmly on solid ground, you can jump directly upwards towards the sky. :sun:


Edited by MushmanTheManic (05/10/06 11:40 PM)


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Offlinesoulcircus
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Re: Spititual Help...please *DELETED* [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #5617844 - 05/11/06 04:01 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus

Reason for deletion: .



Edited by soulcircus (05/11/06 04:16 PM)


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OfflineAmethyst
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5621884 - 05/12/06 04:59 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

:smile: You have many many fruitful years ahead, it must be very exciting. There is much to learn from the bad times, maybe thats where you learn the most. Seems like you got the crash course, but as you grow older you will have this inner strength & peace that some people take all there life's to find.

I was told of some very simple grounding practices which can be done at anytime anywhere, simply by being aware of your own breath. Not change your breathing at all, just simply be aware. Its amazing how it reminds you that you are ALIVE, in this body, right here right now. By  being aware of your breath it helps to calm down your wondering thoughts and feelings. Another nice little exercise is to walk around in bare feet, feel the ground under you, be aware that you are solidly touching the ground, take a big deep breath in if you want, and then let it out while realizing any negative energy into the ground.

There are many simple practices that help with grounding, but I say keep it simple for now :smile:

Love & Light my friend


--------------------
"That's the story moving from the NO to the YES. All of life is like, no thankyou, no thankyou, no thankyou. Then ultimatey it's YES i give in, YES I accept, YES I embrace."


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Offlinesoulcircus
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Re: Spititual Help...please *DELETED* [Re: Amethyst]
    #5621968 - 05/12/06 05:34 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus

Reason for deletion: .



Edited by soulcircus (05/12/06 05:38 PM)


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OfflineAmethyst
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: soulcircus]
    #5622239 - 05/12/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

"There is no such thing as good or bad, but thinking makes it so"

Basically life is a problem, but its up to you weather you decide to accept it or not..... Problems are fun, challening, rewarding, opportunitys to learn and ultimatly help you to discover who you are. Being human is creating problems but remember living the journey to solving the problem brings happiness not the destination. Cherish and love every moment you have as it is YOU, you are a spirtual being having a human experience. So why not enjoy the pleasures of life, as there would be no such thing if we wernt meant to have them.

P.S. Be gentle with yourself, no need to force anything, but instead be "aware". Look how amazing the sun is! It's all alone up there in space, yet it shines soooo brightly. And breaths life in to all that is lisening.

Peace to you


--------------------
"That's the story moving from the NO to the YES. All of life is like, no thankyou, no thankyou, no thankyou. Then ultimatey it's YES i give in, YES I accept, YES I embrace."


Edited by Amethyst (05/12/06 06:58 PM)


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OfflineTheGus
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: Amethyst]
    #5622431 - 05/12/06 07:34 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

i've been through similar things, i have split personalities, and i used to have my manic states, except i never went depressed, i simply went crazy (like i do this sort of dance thing which i attribute to have been given to me by a higher source of knowledge)

anyway, at one point in time i was pretty dellusional

but i know there are alot of things i have experienced that were real

i have had several astral voyages, as well as one time seeing the light (while i was meditating) sober

i was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which i think is a load of crap, my mood doesnt change its just in a manic state all the time (lots of energy, actin crazy) and i think people just dont like it when they dont have control over the populus...

anyway, i dont need to go into details about what i have seen or experienced (i was in a mental hospital for some time, where i believe the universal consciousness had me studying insanity [of which i am not through studying])
but keep this in mind... you are experiencing things few mortals will ever experience, at least not in this life time, and many not even once they die.

you are lucky, we are lucky, someone once told me that i knew the secret of life, to which i told them the secret of life was not to go in search of the secret of life... do i believe that... not now but i was depressed then (this happened after my time in the mental hospital and i had alot of stress on me with school)

but anyway, i dont know how to help you, if you would like to pm me i can go into more detail about some of the things ive seen

and there is no such thing as right and wrong, only what people believe or feel to be right or wrong


--------------------
"It is easier to teach a computer to play chess than to build a mudpie."Sherry Turkle Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts"-Einstein
:mrt: I pity the fool who break traffic laws with $870,000 of drugs in the car.      -mo0nlite_sonata
Psythos


Edited by TheGus (05/12/06 07:39 PM)


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: TheGus]
    #5622446 - 05/12/06 07:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

and i think people just dont like it when they dont have control over the populus...

:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: Spititual Help...please [Re: Icelander]
    #5637091 - 05/16/06 11:30 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

google this:
abram hoffer niacinamide

seriously...
or even:

vitamin B3 schizophrenia


and maybe:
grof spiritual crisis

good luck, & remember ---> this body/CNS/mind/spirit combo is supposed to last for at least 70 years, so ya jus' gotta pace yrself, mmmkay?

love/gnrmi


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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