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SoulSurfer
Killer of Giants


Registered: 10/23/03
Posts: 1,138
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization...
#5607639 - 05/09/06 05:42 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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...that I will never be completely clean and sober. I have tried many times but I don't think it's for me, ya know? I mean, I don't party near the way I use to, but any length of time I spend away from drugs or alcohol I start to feel like a zombie, not even me anymore. I don't need to go and get wasted all the time, but I do need to alter my consciousness to keep it real. I know that might sound contradictory, but it's true. Maybe it's worth shaving off a few years of my life to actually enjoy my existance.
Anyways that's my mid-life rant for the day
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5607647 - 05/09/06 05:48 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Live life with no regrets. Nice.
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sunit
Big Nose


Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 224
Last seen: 14 years, 22 days
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: Adden]
#5607666 - 05/09/06 06:07 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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hitting 19 soon, im getting old dont know what to do . hahahahhaha
-------------------- Well, I set my monkey on the log And ordered him to do the Dog He wagged his tail and shook his head And he went and did the Cat instead He's a weird monkey, very funky.
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shrooma
Did you hear therumour?


Registered: 05/21/02
Posts: 499
Loc: Near the exit of the entr...
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: sunit]
#5607727 - 05/09/06 07:27 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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yeah man I'm 19 on the 14th, and I feel old already. Soulsurfer I think as long as you're happy with your own life then everything is fine! Don't live your life for other people (other than the ones you love), live it for yourself.
-------------------- "[More than] half the people in federal prison are there for drug offences. We're arresting half a million people a year for possessing marijuana. We're locking up kids sometimes for life for their first drug offence. We have no room in our prisons for rapists and child molesters and murderers cause we're filling them up with these non violent drug offenders." - Steven Duke, Yale Law School on 'Hooked: Illegal Drugs and How They Got That Way' -
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart


Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5607766 - 05/09/06 08:02 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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You know, I'm going to be 49 this summer, and I've long accepted my chemical dependencies. I really enjoy my daily beers after work {some where between 3 and 14 }, puff before, during or after work as I please {I first started smoking pot over 35 years ago} ,as well as various ongoing horticultural projects to keep me fed and amused. . I don't drive drunk, and I rarely get shit-faced any more,except last night...but that was on Doctors orders- knee surgery Monday morning, percocets, pot, and pilsner for lunch and dinner Aside from the occasional hang over,I'm happy with my life style, and life... But that's just me...
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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Supernova
Stranger

Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 3,151
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5607778 - 05/09/06 08:08 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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oops
Edited by Supernova (05/09/06 12:45 PM)
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: vinsue]
#5607781 - 05/09/06 08:10 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Im 23 and ive always had a strange affection/attraction to chemicals.
Ive always seen myself as self destructive, maybe im looking at it all wrong !
I can imagine a day where im totally clean, might just be wishful thinking tho.
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SoulSurfer
Killer of Giants


Registered: 10/23/03
Posts: 1,138
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: Mike_yy]
#5607826 - 05/09/06 08:33 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I know what you mean mikey, I fell in love with getting high as soon as I was old enough to start. I don't know why it was so attractive to me, but it's been quite a ride. I've had times where I thought I had it all, and times in the absolute skids with nothing. I don't regret any of it but at times it was pretty rough.
Im content to keep it pretty low key these days. I need more time to recover now it seems...
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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5608129 - 05/09/06 10:17 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you're enjoying your existence, you don't have a problem. Sobriety just ain't for everyone.
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5608205 - 05/09/06 10:43 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't plan on ever being clean and sober for good. I mean, if I have kids, I may go clean for a while during their first few years, but I don't plan on staying that way.
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Snape
Eternal Chaos


Registered: 08/04/03
Posts: 2,285
Loc: Montreal, Quebec
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: sunit]
#5608214 - 05/09/06 10:44 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
sunit said: hitting 19 soon, im getting old dont know what to do . hahahahhaha
Exact same thing here, but I think I know where I'll be going.
Communications !!!!
SoulSurfer, I feel the same way, I smoke pot too much for my liking, but I can't stop everything. I can reduce the consumption (Which is a good thing), but I will still need to go back to THC World from time to time.
I am really proud to moderate myself at 100% rate in what includes chemicals and stronger stuff. I put a 6 months space in between whatever stronger drug I want to try, and that friends, is the key to get fucked up without destroying your body.
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I'm floating in the sea of stars, I'm drifting away from the shore I will be lost in the dream when the dark days come But I will make the time run backwards and I'll make the stars shine again
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ToTheSummit
peregrinus



Registered: 08/22/99
Posts: 9,126
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 10 hours, 27 minutes
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Re: Nearing 40 and Im coming to the realization... [Re: SoulSurfer]
#5609851 - 05/09/06 06:55 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I also am creeping up on the big 40 (turn 38 on Thursday). I also doubt I will ever be "clean" during the remainder of my life. But I know people who never touch drugs of any kind (including alcohol, nicotine and caffeine) who are a lot more fucked up then I'll ever be. I'm happy with my life and if my love of 'better living through chemistry' takes a few years off at the end then so be it. I'm gonna enjoy what time I've got. And I've learned how to do it responsibly, thats important.
Anyway, I don't act my age and I doubt I ever will.
-------------------- You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!
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