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Anonymous
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how do i get back...
#560328 - 02/23/02 12:51 AM (23 years, 3 hours ago) |
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or... how do i move forward?
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When I had my first spiritual awakening it was amazing. I found something within myself that was beyond everything. Not only did I find it in myself, but I could see it in everybody else no matter how far they were from it. I could talk to people and, if only for a little while, I could bring it out in them too. I'm not a religious man but I felt like I was feeling the same thing that Jesus felt and I understood.
I've been through a lot of shit and still carry the weight on my shoulders but I'm still hanging in there and I do my best not to let it get me down. I still try to help people where ever I can but it's just not the same anymore.
How do I find this feeling inside of me again? I know it's still there, it's in everyone of us. I will never forget that but I have forgotten so much. I want to remember again. I want to touch it feel it and let it flow through every inch of my body. I want people to see and and touch it and find it within themselves.
I've tried meditation but never got serious with it. I've sat for hours and let my mind work through its thoughts and I'll be damned if my head doesn't start filling with music once the thoughts slip away. I have sat for hours and had absolutly no thoughts in my head what-so-ever but it never progressed any further than that.
I need some direction... if somebody would be so kind as to point I will be well on my way.
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DEnoG
newbie
Registered: 01/06/02
Posts: 47
Last seen: 22 years, 9 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560404 - 02/23/02 02:54 AM (23 years, 1 hour ago) |
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Maybe you're expecting too much. Just a thought. Live.
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Ulysees
Power of Lard

Registered: 10/06/01
Posts: 5,060
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560412 - 02/23/02 03:02 AM (23 years, 1 hour ago) |
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Well smack, I don't know what to tell you. It seems to be a hit and miss thing with me, the "thing" that does it one day is lame the next. Maybe you could go off into the woods for a week on a spirit quest.
I was always going to do that but whenever I'd get a chance and actually feel in the mood to go camping it would be too cold or something. I've done a fair amount of winter camping, but never alone. I'm going to go out one of these days, I'm probably not going to do too much fasting though. (Maybe fast for awhile if it seems like a good idea, but there's no way I'm going out there without food.)
Either that, or go to Egypt. I just watched Lawrence of Arabia and it got me dreaming of the desert. Probably way too hot for a Canadian though.
Maybe it's easier than that.
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Ulysees
Power of Lard

Registered: 10/06/01
Posts: 5,060
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: DEnoG]
#560414 - 02/23/02 03:03 AM (23 years, 1 hour ago) |
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Or, DEnoG might be right. Not very exciting though, is it.
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Tannis
ZoneTrooper
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 508
Loc: MD.USA
Last seen: 21 years, 10 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560486 - 02/23/02 08:21 AM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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you may be trying to duplicate a "feeling" that you have already transcended and evoled past.... look for a new feeling and a new adventure in the yet undiscovered territory....
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!


Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,739
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 20 minutes, 53 seconds
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560514 - 02/23/02 09:22 AM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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Take shrooms and meditate. Don't worry about thinking about things. Just sit there and feel the waves of feeling come to you. If it's an uncomfortable feeling, just caress it and love it. If it's a good feeling, stay with it.
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Mp3 of the month: The Sole Society - Psychedelic Cycle
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ArCh_TemPlaR
enthusiast
Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 200
Last seen: 22 years, 9 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560713 - 02/23/02 02:24 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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There are many things you could do. You don't necessarily HAVE to be direct with the goal you have in mind. Rather, you could work around it, circle the periphery to discover what you need to nurture yourself. Be creative.
For examples:
I'm scouting for a dojo to learn martial arts. This has nothing to do with loving kindness or compassion but it's relative: self-discipline, focus, precision and structure. I want to be in an environment that expresses my love for movement in speed, finesse and reflexes. It also will help nurture and temper that incredible fierce side of me.
I'm getting into hiphopping, specifically liquid-popping and boogaloo. Once again, another type of movement I love to express.
I will be scouting for a volunteer position, specifically animal shelters. I've found I have a great fondness for dogs and cats.
So what does these physical activities represent? For me, it is a way to express my love, whether it be defending someone's life [hopefully, I'll never have to ] or dazzling him/her with the presence of my grace. If I talk the talk, I gotta do the walk too. Flow with the mala from within and express yourself in every way possible, every day, every moment..
I remember a cranio-therapist recently told me that I always had that fierce strength but never knew it. I've been told on a few occasions that I have what you have, something just indestructible. Just need to fully trust it.
Time to remember who you are in the chaining...
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Anonymous
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560749 - 02/23/02 03:10 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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It sounds as though you've hit a spiritual plateu of sorts. It happens all the time. You know what to do, just let it happen naturally.
The way to turn you know inside
The search resumes to end at light
And circle round yet once again
To find another way to bend
Along a path you find a fork
And take that which seems to be
Another path to where you were
Again you turn in hopes to find
Another path that leads inside
I write this now for you to see
Creative flow inspires me
And as it does I reach to you
And hope that it will reach you too
So worry not for you shall see
That all along you knew to be
Yeilding not for pain nor grace
Resume again the endless race
For soon now it shall come to pass
Your wisdom gained will not be lost
And all you thought you didn't see
Will focus in reality
And fill you with a warming glow
To know the ness of all you know
So carry on in search your means
Dont let them clutter up your dreans
To focus closely once again
I bid this wish to you my friend
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Anonymous
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Tannis]
#560756 - 02/23/02 03:19 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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I also agree with Tannis 100%
you may be trying to duplicate a "feeling" that you have already transcended and evoled past.... look for a new feeling and a new adventure in the yet undiscovered territory....
That's the impression I get.. let the new environment soak in. Observe what it's like. Take it in... see what lies ahead. Bring your past knowledge with you because you will need it to understand how this level functions for you. Be open of everything and expect nothing.
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Anonymous
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: ]
#560775 - 02/23/02 03:37 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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wow... thanks everybody. I think you all hit something.
Shroomism, loved the flow... really got me grinning. Quite unexpected.
I feel a lot better already, I just need to have some new experiences.
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Anonymous
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#560791 - 02/23/02 04:03 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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Amoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/23/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#561059 - 02/23/02 09:43 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.
Sitting on a cornflake; waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday,
man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob.
Mister city policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying.
Yellow matter custard; dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob.
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.
Semolina pilchard; climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna,
man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger


Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,660
Loc: Okanagan
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#561210 - 02/24/02 01:35 AM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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watch requiem for a dream, then towards the end, slowly start masturating....
get yourself rady,now start going into it hardcore when the dirty old buissinessman says "ass to ass!" at the end. thenstart getting there, and when you hear the croud chanting "come! come! come!" let go, and you will transend into th next level, its sota like pink floyd and OZ, but messier.
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Ulysees
Power of Lard

Registered: 10/06/01
Posts: 5,060
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Mitchnast]
#561214 - 02/24/02 01:38 AM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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There's no cool way to say that was funny. None that I can think of right now at least. Damn, that was pretty funny. I guess that'll do.
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GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.


Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Mitchnast]
#561637 - 02/24/02 02:50 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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Mmm... Masturbating on a trip will definitely send you "Up there", if you know what I mean...
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gribochek
enthusiast
Registered: 04/18/99
Posts: 286
Last seen: 20 years, 10 months
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Re: how do i get back... [Re: Anonymous]
#561842 - 02/24/02 06:54 PM (22 years, 11 months ago) |
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It's kinda like with your potty. If you look at it, you can't sit on it. To sit on it, you have to look the other way. (Watched a little kid go through the ordeal once, that was an enlightening experience....)
I kinda know why your meditation doesn't work... Now that your wish to have no thoughts has come true, give up the wish...
But then again, you can never find what you have not lost, nor can you ever loose what you have not found...
-- Grib
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