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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Helping a Close One
#5593856 - 05/05/06 12:10 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Lately somebody close to me has been having trouble dealing with some heavy problems. Been drinking alot and just being down with threats of suicide. I have never been able to help much through communication. Would it be a good idea to direct this person to this website http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/
Thanks
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Just talk to him and try the best you can to give him advice and offer your time to hang out with him and such.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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DoctorJ


Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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be there for her
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Helping a Close One [Re: DoctorJ]
#5594446 - 05/05/06 02:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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It's a him and isn't good at taking advice. I'm hoping the suicide thing was more of a desperation move, but I don't know for sure.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Has he ever opened up and really talked about his problems.
Sometimes its not the case that people need advice, if he's not thinking straight it might be hard to find the right words that can help.
Ive found that with some people they hold too much inside. Its hard to get them to open up but if it happens they usually feel alot better from just hearing themselves talk about it. All they need is someone who's close to them to listen and care !
A problem shared is a problem halved n all that 
That site might piss him off abit, i don't know your friend but i don't think id like it if someone gave me that site's addy. Even though your only trying to help !
Edited by Mike_yy (05/05/06 03:06 PM)
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Helping a Close One [Re: Mike_yy]
#5594853 - 05/05/06 04:51 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well, it's my father. He's opened up before, but not comepletly. The suicide thing was only mentioned to my mom and nobody else, even though I kept getting wierd ideas of it before. I really want to help him, but everytime we get personal I feel I lack the ability to help in that way.
We just ordered a pizze and the games on soon, I will "try" to talk to him.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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really try your best.....
this means little to nothing but generally if someone tells about their suicidality it means they won't go through with it...... but at the same time if only ONE person is told it may be a bad sign indeed.
At some point you're going to just have to speak words out of your mouth without hesitation, it might not feel or sound right but if you guys haven't talked "closely" in a while you're going to have to start a new language.
It doesn't matter what you say. You just need to talk and express whatever comes to mind, without censoring it or changing it around to be more "appropriate" even if it's embarrassing or painful.
Think of it like typing to a stranger online, you'll just say whatever and won't be afraid how they react.... if the communication with your father is kind of broken you'll have to take that style. Just speaking your mind without hesitation.
It's about schism dude. It's completely, totally, and entirely about schism.
100%
It's basically like..... you stay silent for so long that anything you say sounds pointless, but you hesitate to say anything with more substance because it will sound weird. Is that how it is?
Or is it not that way at all?
Well I don't know, I made this thread about something I learned about how to communicate without hesitation or censorship, I don't know if it is relevant...... http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...rue#Post5442694
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Helping a Close One [Re: leery11]
#5595168 - 05/05/06 06:18 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Actually just after I made this post I walked down stairs to find him crying. We talked a bit and he told me how he was moments away from suicide(it reeally hurt me) we talked for awhile and he assured me that he was ok and that he just hit bottom for that moment. He was rollercoastering it, I think he will be ok thought. It's just been hard as fuck on him I helped as much as I could.
He should be ok, he just has to push through the bottom.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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gregorio
Too Damn Old


Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,831
Loc: Classified
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Quote:
bellylard said: Would it be a good idea to direct this person to this website http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/
Thanks
It couldn't hurt maybe he will find something on there that might help him out. It's worth a try.
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: Helping a Close One [Re: gregorio]
#5600427 - 05/07/06 08:57 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Just keep doing what your doing. Try and be as much a friend to him as you are a son. He will see your efforts and appreciate them, this might actually bring you two closer together !
If like you say he's opened up before but not fully, the things that he's holding back are probably whats affecting him the most.
The closer and more comfortable you are together theres a better chance that he might tell you a full story, which im sure would be a weight off his mind. People find it easyier to talk about the details rather than how they feel about them.
If he never does open up, in time he will find a way round it himself. He will need your love and support but people usually find a way through things. Time is a great healer when its added with abit of support.
So yeah, just be a friend. Don't hover/hang around the convo's that lead to him opening up ( these will come about naturally ), just try and get on as normally as you can but make it clear your always there for him !
Stay close and be positive !
These are only my thoughts, there are loads of less/more obvious ways to help people. Sometimes it just helps if your there !
The drinks not a good thing, hopefully he's just using it at the moment to help him deal with things. Keep your eye on it tho ! Last thing he needs to be doing is creating more problems for himself.
You can always come back here if you need any extra support 4 yourself
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