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palmersc
Stranger
Registered: 02/23/06
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Loc: Arkansas
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Nigger
#5590961 - 05/04/06 06:12 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was in some other dudes dorm and his roommate walked in making a ton of noise. I said chill out nigga. Well he's black and he got pissed. I admit my word choice might not have been the best, but it's not something I gave a lot of thought to.
I left and went to return some movies and thought about it. I concluded that the hate was within him. I went back and wanted to talk about it but he sat there pissed off and didn't want to talk. I reasoned that no matter how justified you feel in this hate, you need to let go of it. Even more I said that if a word causes you to manifest that much hate for somebody you don't even know, there's some growing that needs to be done. He didn't want to talk about it and I tried to reason that this feeling of separation is because of that.
His response was that I had no idea what it's like. I guess I have an enemy now. Don't really know what to do. I guess nothing. I make an effort not to take anything personally.
I know the word originated out of hatred, but many cling to this. I'd like another perspective since I haven't given a lot of thought to it.
Edited by palmersc (05/04/06 06:13 PM)
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mr_kite
The Watcher
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc]
#5590983 - 05/04/06 06:19 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Whether you meant it as an insult or not the fact is that the word is insulting. You don't say "cunt" to a girl, you don't say "nigger" to a black person. It's not about hate. Unfortunately you may have just come across as a bit of a tit.
If he hates you becauase you called him nigger then that's unreasonable. But I doubt he hates you. But I don't think being pissed off is unreasonable.
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
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DoctorJ
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc]
#5590990 - 05/04/06 06:20 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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the word 'nigger' is only offensive because it is percieved as such
those who are offended by it are the ones who give the word its power to hurt.
"sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Tell your friend's roomates that the human race began in Africa, that all races descended from africans. We are all niggers, and we all have the right to call eachopther as such.
Its not the word, but the intention behind its use that makes it bad or good. If your intentions in using the word were not malicious, you are free from blame.
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mr_kite
The Watcher
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Re: Nigger [Re: DoctorJ]
#5590996 - 05/04/06 06:22 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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You fail to consider social boundaries/laws, which, while often petty and stupid, remain important in many situations.
"If your intentions in using the word were not malicious, you are free from blame. " That's impressively idealistic but I think a bit naieve.
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
Edited by mr_kite (05/04/06 06:24 PM)
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CUBErt
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Re: Nigger [Re: mr_kite]
#5591007 - 05/04/06 06:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
mr_kite said: You fail to consider social boundaries/laws, which, while often petty and stupid, remain important in many situations.
Yea thats the truth. It is pretty stupid though, I bet his black friends refer to him as that all the time. As I am a big fan of the "make fun of everyone or no one" idea, I similarly think the word should either be okay for everyone to say (as a substitution for the word "dude" etc.) or no one should say it, if it really does bring to mind "that much hatred" (which I think is melodramatic if someone uses the word with one group of people but not the other).
-------------------- -CUBErt
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc]
#5591010 - 05/04/06 06:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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You meant no harm. It's up to him if he wants to take offense at anything like this. You are not forcing him to be mad or offended. He has a choice here.
None of us like it when someone is mad at us. It often gives rise to fear. So maybe you want to reason with him because his anger gives rise to some slight fear for you. Maybe you can let go of that and then let it all pass. He will most likely let go of it with time as will you.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
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Re: Nigger [Re: mr_kite]
#5591018 - 05/04/06 06:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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naivetie has served me better than cynicism
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
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Re: Nigger [Re: mr_kite]
#5591036 - 05/04/06 06:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
mr_kite said: Whether you meant it as an insult or not the fact is that the word is insulting.
The word is a sound wave and an arrangement of lines. The word has the meaning we give it. If it was not intended as an insult, then it was not an insult. If the person was offended by it regardless, then that is their hang up.
I'd tell him to get over himself.
Quote:
Unfortunately you may have just come across as a bit of a tit.
The black person comes off worse, becoming emotionally upset and resentful of another individual who meant no offense. How irrational.
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But I don't think being pissed off is unreasonable.
Well let's just see. We have but one moment in which to live. Our existance is defined by this present experience. To think that inflicting a negative emotion upon ourselves and to lessen our awareness of reality by becoming consumed by it is unreasonable is to deny oneself in the ultimate manner. Seriously.
Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
Edited by fireworks_god (05/04/06 06:43 PM)
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover
Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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SO.......... basically your saying this...........Fuck the irrational nigger......I am not responsible for his feelings.......Nice.
the first poster said something hurtful........his intent is not the point and is no excuse one way or another.
The fact is the black guy feelings were hurt. True what he felt is his problem but, the guy who called him a nigga feelings are hurt also. There was a mistake, misunderstanding made and two people are hurt. You cold logic will not work here.......not at all.
To the first poster...........You are right, you should in a few days talk to the guy again. If he won't talk then let it be. Realize your human and that we sometimes make mistakes and can not fix them. Be OK with your self and move on. What happened is no big deal really.
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
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I think its about fucking time for black people to get over it already
I hang out with black people all the time and 'nigga' comes out of their mouth about every 3rd word. They sell music with that word all in it. They don't mind white people buying their music and listening to them use that word.
Not only that, but when a black person says:"I can use the word nigga but you can't because you're white", you know what that's called?
RACISM
Maybe us white people should come up with a word the we call eachother that no other race is allowed to use. How well do you think that would go over? But guess, what? White people will never do that, because we aren't that fucking stupid in the first place.
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leery11
I Tell You What!
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Re: Nigger [Re: DoctorJ]
#5591550 - 05/04/06 08:29 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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the next time you see him he'll probably be more chill about it.
it's not the best of things but i can understand letting it slip, especially when it's used CONSTANTLY in pop culture so it doesn't seem as offensive anymore.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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dr0mni
My Own Messiah
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Re: Nigger [Re: DoctorJ]
#5591649 - 05/04/06 08:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said: I think its about fucking time for black people to get over it already
I hang out with black people all the time and 'nigga' comes out of their mouth about every 3rd word. They sell music with that word all in it. They don't mind white people buying their music and listening to them use that word.
Not only that, but when a black person says:"I can use the word nigga but you can't because you're white", you know what that's called?
RACISM
Maybe us white people should come up with a word the we call eachother that no other race is allowed to use. How well do you think that would go over? But guess, what? White people will never do that, because we aren't that fucking stupid in the first place.
Exactly!
Often I'll be walking down the street on campus and a car will drive by with rap at full volume and "Nigga, Nigga, Nigga" being broadcasted for 100 yards in all directions! AND THIS IS ACCEPTABLE?!!!
Now imagine a car full of white kids screaming "Nigger!" out the windows at the tops of their lungs as they drive through down town. I think it's safe to say that none of us wants to be in that car!
Why the double standard? And what right do blacks have to get upset by a casual "nigga" thrown into conversation much like "dude" is used (as mentioned above), when they themselves use this supposedly "degrading" word on one another with astronomical frequency!?
I call that hypocrisy!
There is a clear difference between "what up, nigga?" and "Fuck you, nigger!"
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc]
#5591789 - 05/04/06 09:25 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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It is a good policy to always think before acting. If one considers ones actions before acting and accepts the consequences then one can act without fear or second thoughts. If one is experiencing fear or second thoughts it means that by not considering the act you have rejected responsibility for your actions. If you have offended someone you did not intend to offend then tell them so. if they cannot accept it then so be it, your abligation is met. In the future think before opening your mouth. Using ones mouth in an irresponsible manner is the cause of many ass beatings.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc] 1
#5591863 - 05/04/06 09:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sorry, but you'll have to grow up and out of your cultural programming. That word needs to die. Only morons continue to use it - morons Black and White, but especially Black. Blacks need to forget its use entirely, but those who use it cling to a pathological past. Whites who use it are always inappropriate as well as stupid as far as I'm concerned. At least with Blacks its like an ethnic telling an ethnic joke - it's only cool if the joke is about your own group, not another's. Nevertheless, the N-word needs to die. Those who keep it alive are essentially ignorant and irresponsible. They are not working for positive change, just wallowing in ignorance like a pig in the mud. Incidentally, my Lady is Black (Nigerian-Jamaican) and we discuss this topic in depth. She concurs with me, and she is a Lady.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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FungusMan
I81U812
Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 3,112
Loc: Everywhere
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Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said: Incidentally, my Lady is Black (Nigerian-Jamaican)
Technically, she IS half NIGER,lol. Just playing. What about Honky, Cracka, Wetback, Spic, and so on. Its just part of life, no matter where you are in the world. Get over it.
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
Registered: 01/15/05
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empowering words...... real smart.
Also, great argument about vilifying a word..... its all a really great way to.... just..... really get at the root of the problem? you dig?
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Fospher
Crime FightingMaster Criminal
Registered: 02/09/05
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Re: Nigger [Re: palmersc]
#5591982 - 05/04/06 10:14 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
palmersc said: I know the word originated out of hatred, but many cling to this.
"I mean, Lincoln freed the slaves, like, what? 130 years ago. How long does it take to get your act together? "
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Nigger [Re: Fospher]
#5591990 - 05/04/06 10:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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It's not easy to know how things really are until you walk in another mans shoes.
You are lumping a whole lot of people together here.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Fospher
Crime FightingMaster Criminal
Registered: 02/09/05
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Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Quote:
mr_kite said: Whether you meant it as an insult or not the fact is that the word is insulting.
The word is a sound wave and an arrangement of lines. The word has the meaning we give it. If it was not intended as an insult, then it was not an insult. If the person was offended by it regardless, then that is their hang up.
No. A word is a way to convey an idea, as of today it is currently our best. By telling someone something, I'm not merely making air resonances to vibrate my vocal chords producing a sound, I'm relating a thought. If you started telling a bunch of pizza oven/jew jokes to an Auchwitz survivor, nobody would find it funny, even if you did not mean any harm.
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I'd tell him to get over himself.
Why don't you follow your own advice, and walk around Southside Chi-town with a sign that says "I HATE NIGGERS" (a la diehard), and tell some thugs that they're just being irrational and get over themselves? Put your theory to test, you know.
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Fospher
Crime FightingMaster Criminal
Registered: 02/09/05
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You think blacks in America are oppressed?
In today's America, being a white male is a disadvantage. The fact that if you're of a different color skin or the wrong gender only puts you behind some guy who isn't as qualified getting ahead through Affirmative Action.
Just here in Chicago, recently some woman's right group sued the fire department saying that there aren't enough woman firefighters. They won, forcing the state to overturn the law, allowing the training for a woman to be easier. Which basically means that a woman going into a burning house will not be as qualified as a standard recruit.
Reverse racism is also racism! Where is the logic in people that are given jobs/education opportunities on the basis of need and not skill?
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