|
fearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc:
|
its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse
#5587782 - 05/03/06 08:59 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
is this like the vent forum? sure hope so. I just got done with my classes and i think i failed 2 out of 3, not counting the one i dropped, think thatll put me on academic probation next fall, but i've already decided i'm too burned out and i'm going to take a semester off at least to recuperate. I have no motivation to do anything, much less school work or study.
I don't know how long I've been drug free. I think my last coke binge was last christmas when I spent it up here by myself while everyone else was gone home to their super families, and I gotta admit having drugs as a crutch to relax and feel good sure is nice.
I haven't shot heroin since january, and even then it was only two 20s i went through.
I have gone this entire semester without a single schedule one substance flowing through my veins. It wasn't really a conscious decision or anything, but now that all I have to worry about is work, which is a joke, I want to get reaquainted with that part of me so bad....
I think the only thing I want to do right now is find another dealer (no idea how, I don't want to go back begging the austin bums), relieve myself of all this stress, forget everything and nod way the fuck off.
My favorite friend right now is hooking me up with some vic's tomorrow. She's amazing. I can't wait.
I feel so jaded and spaced out. I don't know what to do, but I think I've gotta do something. The only thing that i think i could fancy the rest of my life would be to work in a music studio. I don't have a clue where to even spark this idea though. I don't really care enough anyway.
I just want to do nothing, like the guy in office space.
wow that was really boring. NEXT!
|
leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
|
Re: its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse [Re: fearfect]
#5587789 - 05/03/06 09:02 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
giving up is easy to do.
i feel like doing nothing too.
........... if you gotta do drugs though... why not at least stick with either herb or the psychedelics? Because you know a heroin habit is not the best of ways of living a happy or succesful life.... that's mainly because of PROHIBITION which is EVIL EVIL EVIL but that's how it is.....
I don't know man. I do know that if you're gonna do drugs you have to be careful with them, not so much for escape just for some added pleasure ......
Good luck. Are you in college or HS or what? If in college you could study music engineering or something like that I'm sure.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
|
fearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Loc:
|
Re: its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse [Re: leery11]
#5587826 - 05/03/06 09:09 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
ya the reason i dont want to change majors is cause im technically a junior in CS with alot of it under my belt. I am going to seriously look into it sometime soon though. The counselors here rock.
I am one of the lucky people that doesn't get psychologically addicted to drugs. I've gone on 2-3 week heroin binges shooting maybe twice a day, and came out with a mild case of the shits for about a day. I know its dirty as hell and a bad idea to be shooting, but the consequences really don't scare me.
as for weed, i really don't like it. It is extremely similar to a long lasting, moderate dosage of salvia for me. not relaxing at all.
However, I think I see some columbians and Ecuadors in the near future, if you know what I mean
|
leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
|
Re: its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse [Re: fearfect]
#5587859 - 05/03/06 09:17 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
well you might not care now but you don't want to fuck yourself up in the future, when caring matters.
so take the necessary precautions whether you care or not... i'm not sure what those are but you know, making sure you don't get AIDS is a pretty good one.
and i know the feeling of being a junior and not really liking your major.... i'm a psych major and i like psychology but the prospect of jumping through hoops to get into grad school and being part of the "professional" world doesn't seem right to me.
i don't know what i want to do and have a problem feeling motivated or inspired or capable of making decisions.
the most relaxing thing about weed is if you come home from class and the day is done and you just take a hit and lie down... it's like it removes the barriers between awake and asleep so you can just lightly drift off for a while almost immediately while looking at mild visuals.
the one time i used it that way i thought to myself "now THIS is how you use weed................................ but i have to get up... damn."
I also find it is probably capable of taking you to salvia levels and can be almost hallucinagenic.... with proper meditation techniques, extened periods of non-using to negate tolerance, and a powerful strain of sativa I bet it could be straight psychedelic.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (05/03/06 09:17 PM)
|
The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
|
Re: its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse [Re: leery11]
#5587896 - 05/03/06 09:24 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Hey. You might consider devoting yourself to a useful hobby(s) like working out, biking, hiking, running, doing activities with your friends etc etc. Don't fully depend on drugs to get you through because that is over-doing it. Just like everything in life, you need to diversify and try new stuff. Drugs are not the end-all be-all.
Go for it if you like. Do some drugs. Have a good time. Just think.. if you are doing them more than a couple times a week then what is your life like? Why would you depend on them so much? I think you should think about a productive future and look at the kind of man that you want to be in order to fulfill that goal. Instead of watching TV or shooting up, why not light up a candle and meditate on it for a few hours? I think you will find that there are some things even more enjoyable than drugs as an overall experience. You just need to find out what that is to you.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
|
swiftrance
Let there be light

Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 449
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
|
Re: its about that time of the year for my biannual collapse [Re: The_Hobbit]
#5590429 - 05/04/06 03:12 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
wow im in the same boat... 3rd year cs major... practically failing out... off drugs since winter break.
cheers youre not alone
--------------------
|
|