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 Tengu
journeyman
Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 77
Last seen: 21 years, 2 months
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 Psychological crisis, please help me! 
#557095 - 02/20/02 02:47 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hi folks,
some time went since my last post on the shroomery, but now i have some mental problem and i hoped you could help me solving it. I am really down!
I think perhaps its related to my drug use(abuse?).
To summarize it.... i tried salvia several (about 10-20) times, but the last time is at least 4-6 months away from now.
I also used shrooms about 5 times, from 0.5 to 2 grams. this is about 4 months ago, perhaps a bit more.
I used to smoke weed on a daily basis for about 4-5 months, but i quit 10 days ago (perhaps its only the withdrawal).
Its hard to describe my problem...
I feel bad every time i am alone. I start to think about every shit that comes in my mind. I take every problem much to serious. I think i developed a kind of fear of the state of feeling sad(i use this word for a combination of bad feelings which in some way remind me of a bad mushroom experience, fear of going crazy, fear of death, fear of beeing alone my life, fear of fear). This triggers beeing sad. and that goes on and on, like circles in my mind. Its not only the fear of beeing sad. Also fear to become insane. My mood changes really fast. When im with people i can feel quite normal, but not when im alone. Things that never affected my mind in the past, like tense movies, now shake me like they never did. I know that there is no "real" problem, i only make small things into big problems by thinking about them, trembling in my head. I must again say that i think that the fear is my problem. fear without any reason.
I quit mj about 10 days ago, because i thought i couldnt enjoy it anymore. compared to my first times, even to when i allready had quite a tolerance, it was miserable. Not only that i enjoyed it less, i feeled guilt for doing it and also feeled sad while doing (never did that before). I realized that i have cut most of my connections to the world. I never was the guy who went out often (loved to be alone with a good book or so), but mj helped to cut the times when i am out to a absolute minimum. i even learned at home instead of going to the university. The only thing i allways did was my job and meeting my best friend. now and then i met other people, but mainly because of him.
This is why i quit smoking, at least till i solve my mental problems, and even then i will never do it this often again. the last week i tried to get out of my house as often as possible, meeting people. i really enjoyed it. i want to start doing sports for my body. i also started doing music with my pc, because i love hearing music and want to be creative. i cant only consume things in my free time , (which i have too much, i think - to much time to think about me) like watching tv or doing drugs. perhaps this will do it, but just now i feel bad.
Now i ask you. Do i have a problem? Is it related to my drug usage? Am i on my way to solve it or not (if it isnt just the mood problems some people associate with quitting mj)? Have you experienced states like this? What did you do to get it away from you? What can i do? My father says i should be more self ironic - but i just cant realize this state of mind now.
So to everyone who got this far in my post, please respond with whatever you think about me, thanks.
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AbstractSoul
member
Registered: 02/01/02
Posts: 172
Last seen: 22 years, 4 months
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557105 - 02/20/02 03:13 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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"Your focus determines your reality"
I think you are taking the right steps in laying off the drugs. Even though this is an overgeneralized statement, drug usage does help to hide problems in your life when they shouldn't be hidden. You spend so much time thinking about getting high that it creates an escape from what you should be thinking about and it just goes in circles.
It helps to find something you really enjoy and put a lot of time and effort into it. It helps if whatever it is has a good community to it. I write a lot of music, I love music. I see you are using your computer to write some, are you into electronic music? If you don't already, you should try going to some raves. Don't take any drugs, just go by yourself and get right up next to the speaker and dance all fucking night. I feel totally cleansed by the end of the night and my spirit is raised so high- nothing compares.
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house is a spiritual thing
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Divine_Madness
member
Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 182
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 20 years, 2 months
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557110 - 02/20/02 03:21 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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Nah, dont worry.
Ive been in such states too, only not as much as you I guess, but it probably will go away.
Meeting with people, sporting and making music are good things to go on with.
The best thing is to just get through the experience, analize your fears and depressions. Ask yourself why you feel so bad and then see what you can do about it.
And look at it as a good experience, couse it is. You can learn a lot from it  .
Also, it could be related to you drug past, but I think it only brought it more to the surface.
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its all placebo
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Food
---Beast---
Registered: 12/10/01
Posts: 390
Loc: Siberia
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557143 - 02/20/02 04:52 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sounds like a problem that you'll get over .
Good luck and love your way dude .
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--------mushworld.com-----More info than you can throw a stick at-
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 Asante
all is one - you are that
 
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 89,138
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557168 - 02/20/02 06:17 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hey TENGU...
Do you have a problem? S.U.R.E !!! I think not wanting to label it a problem is beside the point: Any recurrent difficulty's a problem if it bothers you.
Psychedelics rarely HIDE problems. In fact, they seem to be highly active in bringing tucked-away problems to your attention. It ain't a therapy tool for nothing, you know?
Psychedelics may well have been the cause of this stuff surfacing. But remember this: WHENEVER YOU EXPERIENCE DIFFICULTIES LIKE THIS, YOU'RE NOT FEELING THE PROBLEM: WHAT YOU FEEL IS YOUR MIND TRYING TO SOLVE IT !!! So rest assured: your mind's working on it right now!
What would it be? At first I thought: Mental Depression, but that doen't seem to be the case. I think your problem's about FEAR. The cause? Some shitty things may have happened to you in your past that now come back to haunt you. Perhaps you've always had too much fears or have never dealt with them "properly".
Hey: I ain't a therapist...
Two things are very meaningful to me:
1...It reminds you of "Bad Trip Feelings" you've had.
2...Sometimes HVY movies strengthen it.
Now on #2 I can be short: It sounds alot like "mild" flashbacks to me, and #1 tells me it probably is a REAL problem, not one caused by Psychedelic Overload.
Now I hope I didn't scare you.
If you go Drug Free for some weeks to months, It'll likely sink back into your Unconsiousness or find some degree of resolution. Hey: It might be over even right now... If you do Psychedelic drugs again, it'll likely intensify your symptoms which may lead to a solution or may worsen things, depending on several factors.
Since I know very hard work may be involved, I suggest you lay off on any psychoactive for some time. (not counting Pharms if you already have 'em...)
My tips to you:
1...What you feel is PERFECTLY NATURAL: no braindamage fantasies please!
2...Do NOT try to avoid these feelings: They will likely just nag you harder & harder until you deal with them.
3...SEEK THEM OUT! Try to be alone for at least 1 hour a day and try to feel the bad stuff as intensely as it is, make notes & try to identify what it's all about.
4...The more intense your feelings get (while you face them) the closer you'll likely be to it's solution.
5...Avoid "regular" Psychology: seek comfort in your friends & loved ones.
If you find you suddenly are overwhealmed by intense Mind-Body stuff... LET IT HAPPEN !!! That may be It's Resolution in progress.
The things you feel are just symptoms of your mind waging war to cre-ate a BETTER YOU. To me it doesn't at all sound like you're TRUELY going insane. Try to have faith in the process: It's over 99% sure to resolve itself at least enough for you to be symptom-free after some time.
I'm not blowing this out of my ass: It's based on Stanislav Grof's Deep-Psychology theories that are quite brilliant. Need to know more? His book "LSD PSYCHOTHERAPY" has nearly all answers you may need.
I wish you the Courage & Strenght to do the right thing. Hang in there, Tengu!
Hope to have helped.
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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Tannis
ZoneTrooper
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 508
Loc: MD.USA
Last seen: 21 years, 8 months
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557308 - 02/20/02 09:11 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you want to describe the "dangers" of exploring hallucinagens.....you've done a really good job..... These are the long term effects warned against from the "just say no"....but hey, now don't everyone send me hate mail....
It also sounds like what happened to me after some really bad intense trips...
All I can add is..... This too shall pass..... The experience will change you forever---but the really unpleasant stuff will kind of work itself out if you let it. Its like vomiting from the unconscious.....getting things out that need to get out. You'll grow from it if you hang in there.......
If it gets really creepy then go see a doctor/counselor for some anti-depressants......
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Tengu
journeyman
Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 77
Last seen: 21 years, 2 months
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 Re: Psychological crisis, please help me! [Re: Tengu]
#557361 - 02/20/02 10:30 AM (22 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thank you for this replies, it helped me!
I gonna stop psychedelics for as long as i need to finish some goals i set. I first want to be really sure that i find all my fears, all my hidden problems (all may not be possible perhaps, but the worst/most obvious). Then i want to get my body in some healthy form. So i gonna do sports. For my pleasure i will create music and for my life i will learn harder for university. i also want to get rid of my fear of other people, make new friends. and by the way, i threw away my whole "garden" (sorry sally).
Before the post i thought everything could only get worse. but now this thought seems to vanish, i feel hope for me.
Thank you all
Perhaps i will come back here in a few months/years.
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