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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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sadness/loneliness
#5551196 - 04/24/06 01:59 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I guess this is as good a time as any to introduce myself here.
Hello.
Quite a bit of depression on these boards, so I can relate. I just ended a five-year girl thing which alienated me from my friends, and I find myself stuck in what has to be one of the stupidest corners of the country. If you've seen Gummo, you get the idea. I have at least a year left before a college degree that I have little interest in. All I ever wanted to do was play music, but all anyone knows how to play around here is the radio. I never knew it was possible to feel this isolated and disconnected with the world around me. I am still young, yet I feel I will grow old and never experience life.
Any musicians out there find a place to live, play, and be happy?
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: quillini]
#5551248 - 04/24/06 02:20 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Nar, my lifes shit too mate lol. I spend all day looking after my ill mother, so i never get to live my life how i want too. Gets me down sometimes but im usually happy.
What do you play ?, i play guitar abit but im not that good. I just do it for enjoyment, nothing to serious.
Welcome to shroomery. This place will cheer you up on most days !
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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: Mike_yy]
#5551272 - 04/24/06 02:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Guitar mainly, singing, etc. I write a lot of stuff but there's no way to market it around here, as people only like stuff they've heard before, like top 40 and country. People are in love with sports in this area, to an unnatural extent.
Sorry about your mom, but God, don't you just want to find your niche somehow and live? That's all I want, is to find my niche. But I don't even know if I will recognize it if I come across it.
Am I expecting too much?
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever


Registered: 03/03/06
Posts: 33,222
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: quillini]
#5551326 - 04/24/06 02:44 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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no, you're not. do you feel like you can no longer grow where you are? you say you have 1.5 years left on a degree where you are, but why not bite the bullet and transfer somewhere more exciting/stimulating, even if it adds another year to your grad date?
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: quillini]
#5551343 - 04/24/06 02:51 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Im with novumorganum. If the only thing keeping you there is your course and you dont even like that, maybe its time to go and try something different somewhere else.
Its all there you just have to get into the right mind set to go and get it !
Do you have any recordings of your music that you can upload ?, i wouldn't mind hearing some
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RemainRandom50
Do You Need ToKnow Me?
Registered: 01/15/06
Posts: 1,695
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: Mike_yy]
#5551372 - 04/24/06 03:00 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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welcome to the shroomery. things will get better with time, as they always do. take this in as a lesson learned to better your life.
we all do things for a reason!
-------------------- At times I get consumed by my everyday life and will leave the Shroomery. Yet, every time drugs come falling into my life for fun.....I always think about the Shroomery and then I'm back!
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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: Taco Chef]
#5551442 - 04/24/06 03:19 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I don't even know where I would go. It's probably already too late to enroll somewhere else for the fall, and I would have to take out massive loans, my family won't help me at all. I just feel like I'm all alone in the world, like Sling Blade or some shit.
My choices are as follows: a) exert all my will towards changing my situation, or b) just bitch and whine about my shitty situation. Obviously (b) is easier than (a), and so far I, like water, have taken the easier path. This much I know. Keep in mind that I just came out of a long relationship, and as such I am in a state such that (a) is like five times harder than normal.
Where does someone find such inner strength? I am sick of feeling so pitiful.
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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mikeownow
Humungus fungus

Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 2,856
Loc: WA,USA
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: quillini]
#5551452 - 04/24/06 03:22 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I just got slaped with plajarism at my college and want to die.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever


Registered: 03/03/06
Posts: 33,222
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: quillini]
#5551464 - 04/24/06 03:25 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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well, sounds like you need to reprogram your brain right now. there are several methods to do this, ranging from changes in diet to yoga or meditation, from a sucess coach like tony robbins to full out NLP, from a heavily pre-set psychadelic trip tp full blown western theurgy.
what style are you interested in?
but to start with change something about yourself NOW. Something. Get a new shirt, get a new hair style, change your facial hair anything but CHANGE something now to prove to yourself you can for never forget change is the nature of existence
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quillini
one meanmotorscooter


Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 255
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: sadness/loneliness [Re: Taco Chef]
#5551519 - 04/24/06 03:46 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm kinda thinking of doing the psychadelic thing. I've done it before w/ mush but it's been almost two years. That's not to say it's the best solution; I've just found that I have limited patience with meditation (not very good at turning my mind off, always think "is my mind off yet?") Perhaps meditation+mush might work. Any experiences of "self-empowerment" or whatever via psychadelics? Seems like a silly question, but I want to make sure there's a good chance of straightening my mind out by use of psychadelics, rather than just spending eight hours marveling at pretty colors. I must have clear values and priorities before I can act decisively. Can psychadelics really help with that? Have I now taken this thread out of Pub terrain?
-------------------- No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to insure sterility. Only connect...
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