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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired


Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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my friend's suicide
#5547460 - 04/23/06 01:36 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hello everyone, it has been a long while since i have posted here. my gf bought a house and we dont have internet access yet.
please pray for my friend Ryan. he was one of my best friends. he was a lot of things to me: classmate at MU, good friend, teammate, co-worker, drinking buddy...the list could go on. I met him 10 years ago at college and the friendship was instant. i had been his roommate, along w/ my other friend from college E double D, for the past six years until, llike i said earlier, my gf bought a house and i moved in w. her.
E and I found him on wednesday, 4/12, in the attic of E's and ryan's flat. he had hanged himself. the images from that night cannot escape my mind. it was one of the most horrific things i have had to see and still continue to see, and its been a long week and a half. a lot of tears were shed... the drive back to his hometown for the funeral...the memorial service we had here yesterday. let me tell you, at 29 years of age, he sure touched a lot of lives very deeply b/c his wake, funeral and the memorial we had for him in WI were all packed with people, about 100 showed up yesterday to remember him.
he always told me that i was his brother, and never having a brother, he was the closest thing to one i'll ever have. he left no note, no minds eye into his thoughts. he was outgoing and everyone loved him, but he always had a dark side and seemed to be choking back his depression, he was a very generous soul, almost to a fault. I miss him. 
goodbye, i hope to be back and posting on the shroomery again asap.
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5547488 - 04/23/06 01:45 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5547528 - 04/23/06 02:01 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Damn. Sorry about your loss.
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5548234 - 04/23/06 05:26 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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My condolences, Its hard as hell when something like that happens !. Such a waste. My thoughts are with you both !
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: Mike_yy]
#5549959 - 04/24/06 01:37 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Keep in mind that he wanted it that way, so be happy for him.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5552206 - 04/24/06 07:31 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know its unexplainable how you feel, and its hard for people to understand what you are going through. What really matters is not the idea that he is "dead" but remembering that he is now at peace back into the flow of life. He still lives on. He is all around you, born into new life. He is part of you and you are part of everything. WE are all connected, he is always there in the trees, in the flowers in your heart. He is what keeps your soul moving, to explore new ways, until it is your time. He is your greatest teacher, and friend. He is not gone. He is only born, once again.
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5556167 - 04/25/06 07:59 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm really sorry CK. That is so sad. I'll be praying
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daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 19 hours
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5556500 - 04/25/06 09:25 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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God's will be done. May the Lord bestow many blessings upon your friend, and grant those he left behind the ability to accept what he has done.
--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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browndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: daimyo]
#5556598 - 04/25/06 09:56 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I honestly can't begin to understand how you must feel.
I tried thinking of something supportive to say, but it's really hard and I'm not even close to the position you guys are in. What I need to say is get better, remember your friend and that he's still with all of you. I hope that he will rest in peace. This is what he had wanted and I'm sure the last thing was to hurt anyone close to him.
-------------------- When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop
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Basilides
Servent ofWisdom


Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 7,059
Loc: Crown and Heart
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5569695 - 04/29/06 07:05 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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May he rest forever in the Breast of God
--------------------
    "Have you found the beginning, then, that you are looking for the end? You see, the end will be where the beginning is. Congratulations to the one who stands at the beginning: that one will know the end and will not taste death."
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asd11
final sky

Registered: 08/02/04
Posts: 501
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5569716 - 04/29/06 07:27 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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at peace now...
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monamine
dork


Registered: 04/28/06
Posts: 1,089
Loc: Florida, US
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: asd11]
#5569908 - 04/29/06 11:26 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ah man...not another one. *shakes head* 
I vaguely remember talking to Lortab when I moderated other drugs. I hope I didn't give him bad advice...
Anyway, RIP buddy. Condolences to those that were close to him.
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sleepingbigguy
homosapien


Registered: 11/17/04
Posts: 148
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: my friend's suicide [Re: MrBump]
#5574696 - 04/30/06 05:04 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I cannot truly feel your pain but i can relate. I had a friend in highschool who felt the need to kill theirself. It's a very confusing event. I did not find her so i cannot say i understand but i feel the sorrow of being that person. then about two years ago I was supposed to get a ride with some friends after a wedding dance, for some reason when i was about to leave another one of my friends whom i really didn't have a close relationship told me there was another spot in another car leaving right now. I didn't want to wait so i went for the other car, which ended up leaving later than my other friends anyway. 5 miles down the road there was a car in the ditch, a nice man i had met that night dead in the back, my other friend lying in the road also dead with an empty beer box next to him and many broken car parts. This has troubled me for some time and though it isn't the same, i know your confusion and you are in my thoughts. Life seldom makes sense but perhaps one day we will see things through another perspective and the how the cards were dealt will then make sense.
hang in there.
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