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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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I think my friends depressed and i haven't helped at all.
#5540882 - 04/21/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I have this friend that ive been getting really close to. Ive become quite attached to her, and all these last few days ive been so worried that she's gonna meet someone else and leave me that ive moaned about it way too much.
She not been feeling that good anyway recently, with her own problems and stuff, and ive just added to them alot without even realising.
Now i carn't seem to get through to her. I can tell she's depressed, but usually we can sit and talk things out.
Now i feel lost and i dont know what to do !
I really dont want to lose her as a friend, but im wondering if ive already done too much damage.
What should i do to try and save us and get things back to normal.
Ive already realised i need to shut the fuck up, and that ive been being really stupid. Even when im apologising for it, its like im still going on !, but i feel that even if i tried to just be normal, that ive already done too much damage !
How can i sort this out, i feel like such a twat !!
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: I think my friends depressed and i haven't helped at all. [Re: Mike_yy]
#5541185 - 04/21/06 02:11 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Well.. my approach is to apologize in the most efficient way possible and then simply try to acknowledge the change that I wanted to make by being an adapted version of myself.
If you sit there trying to make her understand all your sorrow, that will not help anything. Just be a friend - simple as that. =)
Maybe it would be good not to get so caught up in her apparent depression. That will only serve to remind her of her negative feelings. Sure.. if you have some sage advice then give it, but don't treat her like she's got a problem. Treat her like she should already be overcoming her problems. I always have a motto of as little sypmathy as possible. If you can make fun of her for being an emo wuss, then do it. You just have to use your discretion like always and make sure it's a positive thing. Try doing stuff with her that is a solution rather than getting stuck on the forumla to solve it.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: I think my friends depressed and i haven't helped at all. [Re: Mike_yy]
#5541223 - 04/21/06 02:28 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Be the change you want to see in the world, as someone famous once put it.
Just hang out, enjoy the good times. listen when she talks, dont implore into her depression unless you think its truly necessary.
Just be a good friend its easy if you just smile a lot.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: I think my friends depressed and i haven't helped at all. [Re: Mike_yy]
#5541422 - 04/21/06 03:46 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for your advice, its some of the soundest ive heard 4 awhile.
Ive already talked to her and i think things are alittle better. She's just having a hard time at the moment.
I already just tried to be a friend to her ( this is all she needs from me really ), but i had to really bite my tounge to stop telling her how sorry i was.
I panicked because i didn't know what to do once id realised what a prick i had been ! I hope / think things will be ok from now on, i guess you have to make mistakes to be able to learn from them.
Again, thanks for your time and sincere replys, i really appreciate it !
I dont wish unhappiness on anyone, but if you ever are i hope i can do the same for you
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