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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Re: LNC [Re: TM]
    #5539945 - 04/21/06 01:59 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

wow im done for tonight! started my day kinda early.. Ive been fucked up since the early afternoon. Had opiates, many blunts and lots of brownies... Brownies were so good, they were giving me and my cousin slight visual distortions and nice body feelings. Ate some good ass buffalo wings. good night everyone


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"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: LNC [Re: danlennon3]
    #5539947 - 04/21/06 01:59 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

So, does anyone here know about Tucker Max?


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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: LNC [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5539948 - 04/21/06 02:00 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

no what


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: LNC [Re: danlennon3]
    #5539949 - 04/21/06 02:01 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like you had an awesome day dan. :rockon: Sleep well.

TM - Sorry to hear that man. Maybe you could drop a couple more for shits and giggles?


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: LNC [Re: danlennon3]
    #5539950 - 04/21/06 02:02 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

well, my friend was ranting on about this guy, so I checked his book and website out, and it is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read and watched.
This guy has made a profession out of being the worlds biggest asshole, but has done it in such a way, that he is the most likeable asshole.


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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: LNC [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5539954 - 04/21/06 02:08 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

It was a really fun day, I went all out. probably don't need to smoke for a while because of how much was smoked today. also don't really have any more opiates either. I'm ordering a bunch of astronaut food tomorrow!! freeze dried strawberries, peaches,apples, bananas, berries and cherries. Also getting a bunch a dif flavored ice cream too such as double chocolate, mint, Neapolitan. i love astronaut ice cream.. It was a great treat while trippin too


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: LNC [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5539959 - 04/21/06 02:13 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

psilocyberin said:
So, does anyone here know about Tucker Max?




Never heard of him before tonight but this is some good shit. :rotfl:

"A week prior, after Jaime consented to buttsex, I realized that I didn?t have any idea how to do it. How exactly do you fuck a girl in the ass? Luckily, I had the world?s best anal sex informational resource at my disposal: The gay waiter. I consulted several gay waiters who worked at one of my parents restaurants about the mechanics of buttsex, and each one recommended AstroGlide as the lubricant of choice. Much to my dismay, I learned that spitting on your dick is not enough lube for buttsex. Stupid, lying porn movies.

The other important piece of advice I remembered was from Calvin, ?Make sure you use enough, because if this is her first time, she?ll be especially tight, and it might hurt her. Use enough to really loosen her up and go slow until she gets used to it. Then it?s smooth sailing from there.?

Well, since some is good, more is better, right? At 21, this seemed logical.

I opened the cap, crammed the bottle top into her asshole, and squeezed. I probably emptied half of the 4-ounces of AstroGlide into her. I have since learned from homosexuals that a 4-ounce bottle usually lasts them about 6 months. So yeah--I overdid it.

But Tucker Max wasn?t done. Oh no, after depositing enough grease in her to run a Formula One racecar, I dumped half of what remained onto my cock and balls, really wanting to lube up because I didn?t want her to be uncomfortable.

Really--consider my thought process: I was going to fuck her in the butt and film it without her consent, yet I was truly concerned about her personal comfort. Sometimes the contradictions in my personality even amuse me.

Predictably, I slid in with ease. She was a little tense at first, but with an Exxon Valdez size load spilled into her poop chute, she quickly loosened up and got into it. I liked it also; it had a different feel to it. Not as good as vaginal sex, a little grainy, kinda tight, but still very nice.

Before I knew it I was fucking her like the apocalypse was imminent, burying it to the hilt with impunity. After a few minutes I was ready to come. My urgency was expressed in my tempo, and I began really jackhammering her. As the excitement got the best of me, I pulled out too far and my dick came out of her ass. I kinda scrambled to grab my dick and put it back in so I could finish off inside of her, but before I could even get a hold of it and put it back in her ass, I heard a faint ?psssst? sound and felt something wet and warm hit my crotch.

It was dark in the room (I was not smart or sober enough to leave the lights on for the camera), so after I looked down it took me a few seconds to realize that my dick, balls and groin area were covered in a viscous black liquid. I stopped moving and stared at my strangely colored crotch for a good 5 seconds, completely confused, until I realized what happened:

?Did you?did you just?shit on my dick??

I reached down to touch the liquid feces, still in complete and utter disbelief that this girl shot explosive diarrhea on my penis, when, without warning, the smell hit me.

I have a very sensitive nose, and I have never been more repulsed by a smell in my life. The combination of synthetic AstroGlide and rancid stench of raw fecal matter combined to turn my stomach, which was full of seafood, veal and wine, completely over.

I tried to hold it back. I really did everything I could to stop myself, but there are certain physical reactions that are beyond conscious control. Before I knew what I was doing, it just came out:

?BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH?

I vomited all over her ass. Into her crack. Into her asshole. On her ass cheeks. On the small of her back. Everywhere.

She turned her head, said, ?Tucker, what are you doing?,? saw me vomiting on her, screamed ?Oh my God!,? and immediately joined me:

?BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH?

Watching her throw up on my bed made me vomit even more. Her vomiting all over my bed, me vomiting on her ass, the next step was almost inevitable.

I heard the loud CRASH first, turned to see my friend break through the shutters and rip the closet door off as he, the video camera, and the door tumbled out of the closet and crashed onto the floor next to us:

?BBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH?

The memory of the 2-second span where all three of us were vomiting at once is permanently seared into my brain. I have never heard anything like that symphony of sickness. It was like something out of the old Pink Panther movies.

I think the crowning moment was when my eyes locked with Jaime?s, I saw her moment of realization and then her quick shift from shock and surprise to complete and irreparable anger. Between bouts of hurling she flipped out:

?OH MY GOD--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--YOU FILMED THIS, YOU ASSHOLE-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH-- HOW COULD YOU-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--OH MY GOD-- BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH--I LET YOU FUCK ME IN THE ASS--BBBLLLLAAAAHHHH.?

She tried to stand up, slipped on the huge puddle of backflow AstroGlide on the bed, and fell into both my pile and her pile of vomit, covering her body and hair in vomit, shit and anal lubricant. She flailed on the bed for a second, grabbed the top sheet, wrapped it around her, and started running out of my place. Still naked and retching, my dick covered in shit and oil, I followed her as far as my front door.

The last contact I ever had with her is the image I witnessed of her in a dead sprint, a

shit, vomit and grease stained sheet stuck to her body, running from my apartment."


http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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InvisibleTM
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Re: LNC [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5539960 - 04/21/06 02:14 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

mattzdope said:
Sounds like you had an awesome day dan. :rockon: Sleep well.

TM - Sorry to hear that man. Maybe you could drop a couple more for shits and giggles?




Well, the 2 I did were were sent from god, but god turned out to be fraud... I have 12 dragons left though and I know that 2 of THOSE would kick some royal butt, however, I'm not desperate enough to trip at this point to devour 1/6th of my stash.


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: LNC [Re: TM]
    #5539963 - 04/21/06 02:17 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

His blogs and forum are actually very interesting and funny.


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InvisibleTM
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Re: LNC *DELETED* [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5539967 - 04/21/06 02:19 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by TM

Reason for deletion: .



--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:


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OfflineSneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
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Re: LNC [Re: TM]
    #5539969 - 04/21/06 02:20 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

sorry, i meant to respond to mattzdope


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: LNC *DELETED* [Re: TM]
    #5539990 - 04/21/06 02:34 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by matt

Reason for deletion: x



--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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InvisibleTYL3R
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Re: LNC [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5539998 - 04/21/06 02:38 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

"It was dark in the room (I was not smart or sober enough to leave the lights on for the camera), so after I looked down it took me a few seconds to realize that my dick, balls and groin area were covered in a viscous black liquid. I stopped moving and stared at my strangely colored crotch for a good 5 seconds, completely confused, until I realized what happened:

?Did you?did you just?shit on my dick??




:rofl:
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:rofl:


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InvisibleJonnyOnTheSpot
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Re: LNC [Re: TYL3R]
    #5540000 - 04/21/06 02:41 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

that bar of smiley's is tripping me out man..


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InvisibleTM
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Re: LNC [Re: TYL3R]
    #5540001 - 04/21/06 02:42 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

That entire story was totally :rofl2:


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:


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InvisibleTM
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Re: LNC [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5540020 - 04/21/06 03:00 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

"HAHHAHHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Wait, wait...HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.?

:rofl: :rofl2:


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
Re: LNC [Re: TM]
    #5540024 - 04/21/06 03:04 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I'm assuming you read the "Girl almost beats Tucker at his own game" story? :rotfl: That was fucking great wasn't it?

"But every night some variation of this sentence would go through my head, ?Am I really doing this to her? Did I just stick a carrot in her ass as I fucked her doggy-style? And she LIKES it?? After about three weeks of this, every time pushing it further and further, I was at the point where I was doing shit to this girl that could have literally gotten me thrown in jail. I was thinking about filming her consenting to this stuff, Tupac style, because when I dumped her I didn?t want the blood on my spatula to be used as evidence against me in a domestic assault case.

The true irony was that it in a way, these sorts of things were almost more debasing to me than to her. I pride myself on being so outlandish and outrageous that normal people don?t know how to deal with me--but this girl, without realizing what she was doing, was flipping it on me. She was beating me at my own game. No matter what I did, she wanted more. If I spanked her, she wanted to be spanked until her ass was raw. If I spanked her ass till my hand prints were plastered all over it, she wanted to me to spank her till she bled. If I called her a ?bitch? during sex, she wanted to be called a ?whore.? If I called her a ?whore,? she wanted to be called a ?filthy cunt whore.? I?m literally a professional at humiliating and debasing people, but this girl was absorbing my entire repertoire and then coming back and asking for seconds.

She was like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, in the scene with he lets the mobster beat him up after catching them using his bar basement for weekly fights. Tyler just lets the guy beat his ass. The mobster hits him and hits him--dropping fist after fist right on his face--but Tyler gets up, covered in blood, and laughs at him. That is so fucking demoralizing. When someone takes your absolute best shots and, instead of retaliating, simply gets back up and asks for more?what the fuck do you do then? That WAS my best shot!"


Thanks again Psilo, I'm printing a few up to read when I lay down for the night. :yesnod: Might sign up for the forum tomorrow.


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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InvisibleTM
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Re: LNC [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #5540027 - 04/21/06 03:07 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, he's funny as hell... I'm sure that he takes a lot of poetic licence though.


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:


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Invisiblewery67564
Stranger
Registered: 01/14/06
Posts: 221
Re: LNC [Re: TM]
    #5540082 - 04/21/06 04:21 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Oh YEAH! playin on the sns and drinkin some beers, haven' been around much because of school, but, YARGH!!


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OfflinePDU
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Re: LNC [Re: wery67564]
    #5540123 - 04/21/06 05:14 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

im high om k.


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