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OfflineDreamer987
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Considering an extended brake from "drugs"
    #5537794 - 04/20/06 01:37 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I banged oxy the other day. Last night i ate/snorted, a huge amount.
It's not that it scared me. Its that I'm 18 years old, and I've officially done EVERYTHING.

I dove head first into the drug culture at 11, and when i look up out of the fog, I'm not entirely happy with my life. I don't blame this on the drugs per say.. Its a combination of me, and my own hangups.
But I've been spending so much time in a quest to get high, that I've neglected growing up, and becoming a productive person.

I'm not currently "hooked" on anything. I did a long stint with alcoholism in my younger years, and have since learned moderation.
Got bad into Meth awhile back, but also got that in check, and learned how to control it.

I need to quit, not because a drug is fucking me up, but because my main priority in life is trying to find a new kick. A drug that will make me feel better.

So basically I'm thinking about taking a year or so brake from "drugs".
This doesn't include psychedelics, as i don't consider them drugs. I also don't see myself trying to quit alcohol, because i depend on that for social lubrication. Without it, i am lost socially.

At this point, I'm still in the thinking about it stage. I will not set a goal that i cannot keep. If i decide to do this, i am doing it for keeps.
I am gonna go out big, before i do go out tho.
Maybe i will set the date at the end of June sometime...


Any advice mi Amigo's?


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Invisibleeligal
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5537851 - 04/20/06 01:56 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

sounds like this has been a long time coming. congrats on movign to a new path

:cheers:


if you really want it bad enough, its easy to quit


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\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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OfflineAaronEvil
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5538069 - 04/20/06 03:13 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Sounds good to me. You seem like you are making the right choice for all the right reasons. I hope it works out for you.


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There is not a lot of difference between a fox hole and a grave; but knowing that you dug your ditch and climbed in anyway.

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InvisibleTrippingDuality
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5538109 - 04/20/06 03:23 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

put that same energy of the "next high" into what happens next in your life. good luck and good vibes!


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turn off your mind relax and float downstream

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Offlinerecalcitrant
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Registered: 04/20/02
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Loc: Canada West
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5538333 - 04/20/06 04:33 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

:"But I've been spending so much time in a quest to get high, that I've neglected growing up, and becoming a productive person":

My high was once life
I found drugs or they found me
Every day cloned

Fuck man. I'm not even smoking today! You know how fucking shitty it is to go visit America the day before 4/20?

I could really stand to get high right now. Even though I know I need to take one of those breaks that always help me get my life back on track. *Sigh. I guess I'll just have to settle for the fact that it will do me some good to miss out on the celebrations this holy-day. Holiday?

Hey, does anyone know the etymology of holiday? does it come from like xmas being a "holy" day?


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We have to answer our own prayers

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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: recalcitrant]
    #5540044 - 04/21/06 03:24 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

You should do whatever you need to do to get your life back on track.

Imo, you should only use drugs in moderation. Like for me.. smoking some weed every now and then as a special occassion would be a very nice thing to do. It would only help me to have it in my life. However, you might not be able to regulate your actions so maybe that's not a choice. Use your discretion and come up with a solution.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Offlinestefan
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5543479 - 04/22/06 09:49 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Dreamer987 said:
Its that I'm 18 years old



...
Reged: 04/16/03
...
BUSTED! :evil:



sounds like a good idea to see what life has to offer besides drugs (plenty!) :thumbup:
go for it :cool:
Once you quit keep it in moderation when you start doing stuff again. Only once in a while to keep it special etc. Get your dayly kicks from other things in life :sun:





PS send your acid left overs to me :smirk:


/jk

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Offlinebobjones
...
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5544031 - 04/22/06 12:41 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

im on the beer (once a week usually) and psychedelics (every few months) plan as well. couldn't be happier with it.

good luck  :thumbup:


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"Outside of a dog a book is a man's friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read"
-Groucho Marx

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OfflineDavid_vs_Goliath
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: bobjones]
    #5544309 - 04/22/06 02:33 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

It's not that hard to quit if you have a legit reason and really want to do it. I hope you succeed. You will learn after a couple weeks of being off the stuff that life has a lot more to offer and you will learn to love everyday things when you aren't focused on the drugs.


Best of Luck


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"People living deeply have no fear of death."
"Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love."
"Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."

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InvisibleVirgilKane
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: David_vs_Goliath]
    #5549515 - 04/23/06 10:26 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Someone once told me that actually seeing the problem was the hardest part of the solution and that once you see it you are always equiped to handle it and probaly know what you should do...even if (or mostly because) it sucks to think about actually doing it.

If not, the psychedelics should help out! :cool:

Best of luck and good vibes!


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Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

 
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna

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OfflineGomp
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5559276 - 04/26/06 04:22 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

"I quit talking, every-time I shut my mouth"
-Unknown :P

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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5561955 - 04/27/06 08:29 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

way to go. I've never entirely stopped; just week or month breaks. I've been attempting to take a break over the last two weeks, but now that I probably won't have to take a dt for my job, I probably won't. I want to, but not enough to actually do it.


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channel your inner Larry David

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OfflineinoculatedGreif
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5562387 - 04/27/06 10:51 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I feel you man,Im the same way. Im 18 and I live my life day to day. But each day I get fucked up, and then the next day if I dont have something to get fucked up on, I get all deprest, and realize how shitty this world is, and how shitty my life is. its starting to wear on me, but Im only happy when im on drugs....Thats life I guess.
I hope you find a way out man....


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one branch of man turns away what has made us who we are, the other,excepts it for how its made man. which path do you choose?
-------------------------------------
Man takes advantage of who he is,nature is his home, where he evolved from. So why does he turn it down, defy, and mutalate his birth ground? why does he spread disease, murder his native animals,rape and torture his land, and still feel descent of who he is? live a life that is not true? excepts an artificial home?

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: inoculatedGreif]
    #5564094 - 04/27/06 06:58 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I'm not that bad i think. Its a fine line.
They aren't doing that much damage, but i feel like the best thing at this point in my life would be alittle bit of sobriety, to add a new perspective.

another rule: i can still try new drugs.


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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5564179 - 04/27/06 07:23 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I thought you said you already tried them all?


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-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett

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Offlinetheuser
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #5565832 - 04/28/06 02:49 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Taking a break from drugs is always best. :smile:


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:heart:

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #5566080 - 04/28/06 06:39 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Blinkidiot reminded me that there still are some drugs out there to try :smirk:


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5568589 - 04/28/06 09:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

i would have to say that i would definately recomend stopping those drugs...
as far as still drinking and using psychs... many people compensate with other drugs almost naturally... for instance someone stopping drinking smoking more weed... and so on and so forth...

it is possible that you would naturally substitute other drugs for what you arent doing... and lots of psychs and alcahol can be a serious problem

either way god speed, and i support your choice.


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PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5574162 - 04/30/06 02:00 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

This is it. After this 80mg oxy wears out of my system, no more drugs till next years eeyores. If i decide to start again.
I will let everyone know how it goes, if i relapse or whatnot.

Wish me luck.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5578353 - 05/01/06 06:29 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

good luck. i'm having a hard time figuring out drugs right now.


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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Offlinemonamine
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5580379 - 05/02/06 04:58 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I'm never going to down a man for trying to better himself, but I think you need to take a long and brutality honest look at yourself and ask yourself why you feel the need to do so many drugs in the first place. Simply giving up drugs in and of itself won't do any good in the long run if you don't fix the underlying problems you have. Are you trying to escape negative/painful emotions,trying to just get another high,or what? Perhaps you are even self medicating an underlying psychiatric problem. I know it seem condradictory, and you'll have to answer this yourself, but if you have serious mental problems I don't think seeing a good doctor and getting some meds would be such a bad I idea. Yeah, you're trading one drug for another, but fucked up neurobioliogy isn't going to fix itself and this time you may be correcting something that was wrong in the first place instead of doing it in a roundabout way with whatever high you can get at the time or whatever.

Speaking from experience, I struggled with painkillers for a couple years. I never had I problem getting off them when I really wanted to,but I always returned to them sooner or later because I didn't do anything to fix the underlying problem, which was depression and anxiety more or less caused by a brain that was genetically (runs in my family) out of wack. I was self medicating. I used them mostly for panic attacks,but I was also over compensating and trying to get as high as possible in the process.
So to make a long story short I went to a psychiatrist (actually a couple because to be honest some of them flat out suck) and went on antidepressants. Not that they were a magical cure or anything, but I wasn't having as many nasty panic attacks and nasty obcessive thoughts anymore. It took some hard work and the support of those around me, but it allowed my to get off them for good (at least I hope,so far,so good).

I'm not suggesting you run out there and start popping Zolofts, because that might not even be the problem, and like I said you'll have to answer that one yourself, but keep that as an option.
Don't just stop using drugs and hope everything will be honkey dorey, because it won't(you might even just end up trading one addiction for another). Find the real causes of your problems and try to deal with them and make some serious lifestyle changes. If you do that you might not even feel the need to chase that high anyway.

Good luck man. Take a long hard look at yourself and do what you need to do. It won't be easy, but with some elbow grease things may work themselves out. :smile:

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: leery11]
    #5722426 - 06/07/06 10:48 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

So far so good. I accidentally took a hit of weed without realizing what i was doing, but thats no big deal.
I tried the big H. Wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Oh, and i quit smoking ciggs!


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Offlinemushiemountain
i am the sacredone
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5722952 - 06/07/06 02:05 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

nice man. did you try the big H after or before you said you quit on april 30th? good luck. glad to hear you stopped smoking cigs.


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I Ain't No Fool. Mama Didn't Raise No Fool.
----------primussucks

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: mushiemountain]
    #5723022 - 06/07/06 02:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

After.
I put a Loophole in my contract, says i can try new things.


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Offlinemushiemountain
i am the sacredone
Registered: 06/24/04
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5723065 - 06/07/06 02:46 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

sounds like a good idea. nothing bad with trying something out while taking that break. as long as you don't get into it.

:goodluck:


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I Ain't No Fool. Mama Didn't Raise No Fool.
----------primussucks

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: mushiemountain]
    #5860400 - 07/15/06 12:16 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Well this thing is harder than anticipated. I fucked up, and did a bunch of coke last night, it was actually quite fun. Usually i don't enjoy the stuff to much, but it was nice. Oh, and i ate some xanax the other night to help go to sleep after an acid trip.
I am weak. My will power is so low. I mean, i feel good that i have used less, but the goal was 0 drugs for a year. I told everybody about my goal too, now i look like a flake. I was able to resist, but as the alcohol soaked into my blood, the temptation grew to great to ignore.


I don't feel good about this turn of events. I am picking my goal back up tho, and will try harder.


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Edited by Dreamer987 (07/15/06 12:18 AM)

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OfflineEreignis
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Good for you [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5862468 - 07/15/06 05:53 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

It's a tough lesson when we learn that we are not in control of ourselves, when we find that we cannot match our actions to our professed intentions. But keep trying, keep pushing, improve yourself by discipline. If you ever faulter, the most important thing to do is to move back to the sraight path again. Keep coming back to the straight path and eventually you will straighten up, and it will be easy to stay that way. There are some other lifestyle changes you can make which will make it easier to stay sober and productive as well, such as going to bed and waking up earlier, exercising, meditating, etc, but they only work if you decide it's something you really want to do. Good for you for cleaning yourself up, and whatever you do, don't stop trying to stay sober! Humans are fallible, it's just a fact of life, what makes a man great is his grace in spite of his fallibility.


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Reason tatters
The forces tear loose from the axis
Searchlight casting
For faults in the clouds of delusion

Shall we go, you and I, while we can? Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds

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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Good for you [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5862692 - 07/15/06 07:11 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Have you thought about maybe setting a shorter goal...maybe a month or two? It'll make it not seem so far away and unpleasant.

Or instead of allowing some exceptions, don't allow any?

If it makes you feel any better, my goal was to stop smoking for a month. I went two weeks without smoking at all. Then I smoked four times over the next three weeks. I feel I did very well even though I didn't completely accomplish my goal.

I learned the lesson I was wanting to learn though...I don't need it, I want it. And I even got to the point of not wanting it at all.

It's all about moderation and how you use it. I'm ready to start smoking again, but doubt I'll be a daily smoker like I was...then again, you never know.


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channel your inner Larry David

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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5865345 - 07/16/06 12:21 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Dreamer987 said:
Well this thing is harder than anticipated. I fucked up, and did a bunch of coke last night, it was actually quite fun. Usually i don't enjoy the stuff to much, but it was nice.  Oh, and i ate some xanax the other night to help go to sleep after an acid trip.
I am weak. My will power is so low. I mean, i feel good that i have used less, but the goal was 0 drugs for a year. I told everybody about my goal too, now i look like a flake. I was able to resist, but as the alcohol soaked into my blood, the temptation grew to great to ignore.


I don't feel good about this turn of events. I am picking my goal back up tho, and will try harder.




it is all in my sig. man, things are not so cut and dry, did you really expect to go from serious drug use to basically stopping use? feel the full range of emotions, anger, shame, ect. once you allow yourself to experience your "failure" take it for what it is worth and jump back on the horse :mushroom2: that is what life is about right?


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OfflineParabolalala
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5867154 - 07/16/06 08:26 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Start with smaller goals that are easier to achieve. After 2 weeks of sobriety you can congratulate yourself and maybe go for a month or two, gradually increasing untill you get to a full year or until you are 21.

Also, I think there are too many loopholes in contract w/ yourself :laugh:. I recommend to not try new drugs while you're on your break and to drink in moderation... there's no reason to get faded just so you can be social. If you must get drunk to talk to people then ya probably need help.

Good luck man

Edited by Parabolalala (07/16/06 08:27 PM)

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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Parabolalala]
    #5879560 - 07/19/06 10:42 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I give up. I'm not going to set goals i can't keep. This time has helped me practice moderation, and i'm going to keep doing just that.


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OfflineViveka
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Re: Considering an extended brake from "drugs" [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5882335 - 07/20/06 06:58 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, forget it dude.  You're not ready yet.  When you really want to stop living your life around different highs, it will be easy to stop.  Moderation is of course, good, but most "moderation" is still a lifestyle of drug use.  And although you say now that the drugs aren't affecting you negatively, realize you're just a kid.  A decade down the road and things will be different.  Fuck, I feel like an old man saying that.  I'm 24 and can trace back where certain patterns of drug use/abuse were detrimental, and the repercussions continue to affect me to this day. Of course, every body and aggregate experience differs vastly.  You may be able to do as many drugs as often as you can stand and still not compromise yourself in any way (though it's not likely :wink:). Just take care of yourself, man.  If you feel like you probably shouldn't get high one night, then don't.

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OfflineAnnoA
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Re: Good for you [Re: demiu5]
    #5883633 - 07/21/06 04:11 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

demius said:
Or instead of allowing some exceptions, don't allow any?





Yeah, that would be more like it.

Stop taking ANY DRUGS for a few days at least and see what happens.
Including cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, coke, heroin, xanax, LSD and E.

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Re: Good for you [Re: Anno]
    #5883667 - 07/21/06 05:16 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

obviusly you need a change in life style and self image... you like drugs and that's what defines you right now! so being drug free is like casting away who you are and being left with a big voide you can't fill...
it's not about addiction i'm guessing (or hoping anyway)

change your set/setting :tongue:
get some DIFFRENT goals maybe :shrug:
take up some OTHER hobby, work your ass off... you can still indulge once in a while but finding other things to enjoy is much more important then having fun with drugs!

there's all the time in the world to do drugs and far less time to grow as a person!
good luck :sun:


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