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OfflineMagicalKnife
Shroomologist
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Registered: 02/12/06
Posts: 135
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
Are you Jesus?
    #5535199 - 04/19/06 08:08 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Has anyone contemplated the idea that they are the new Jesus but God hasn't told them yet?


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?


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
Spiral staircasetechnician
Male

Registered: 10/20/05
Posts: 11,293
Loc: Ythan's house
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535219 - 04/19/06 08:13 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I'm the old Jesus


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:orly:



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OfflineSnaggletooth
Stranger in a Strange Land
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Registered: 10/24/05
Posts: 6,109
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5535345 - 04/19/06 08:33 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I could be if I cared :crazy2:


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Atheist Chat


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OfflineDeadmaker
Stranger
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Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 5,471
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Snaggletooth]
    #5535381 - 04/19/06 08:39 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I need to masturbate.


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535485 - 04/19/06 09:09 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Welcome to the wonderful world of schitzoeffective behavior :crazy2:


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Offlinedegenerate182
stranger
Male

Registered: 01/14/06
Posts: 54
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Todcasil]
    #5535500 - 04/19/06 09:14 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

lol seriously... i have had that thought too.. i tohught i was just insane.


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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Posts: 34,086
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535523 - 04/19/06 09:20 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Consider the idea that everyone and everything that has ever lived has had the exact same soul that Jesus had.






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Mp3 of the month:  The Apple-Glass Cyndrome - Someday



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Offlinerecalcitrant
My Own God

Registered: 04/20/02
Posts: 2,927
Loc: Canada West
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535527 - 04/19/06 09:21 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I was convinced that I was Jesus 2. I know i've lied and probably commited other sins, but I don't think that stops me from being the savior of humanity.

I just can't figure out what my obsession with Hitler has to do with it all...


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We have to answer our own prayers


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InvisibleTYL3R
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: recalcitrant]
    #5535538 - 04/19/06 09:24 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Oppisites attract.


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OfflinePsilocyan
Humble Voyager
Male

Registered: 07/13/05
Posts: 224
Loc: Atlanta...USA
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: recalcitrant]
    #5535539 - 04/19/06 09:24 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Hah..I had that thought too. I didn't think about it like being the new Jesus but like...what if you're going to turn out to be some figure of huge importance and you don't know it yet.

Smoke pot and think a LOT for a few years and you get to this thought eventually. Along with all the other what ifs...


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I :heart: Psilocybe weilii...:mushroomgrow:

"I think of going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience like going to the grave without ever having sex."
-McKenna


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OfflineWScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ
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Registered: 07/31/05
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Psilocyan]
    #5535564 - 04/19/06 09:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Everyone has the potential to be the next Jesus. It won't be Jesus though, it will be you - if you choose to be the next chosen one. You see God, he doesn't pick the individual, but the individual picks himself. It would be the greatest undertaking in the history of individuals to attempt this life. You have to be worthy, but worthyness can be attained. It only takes Faith.


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OfflineMagicalKnife
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Registered: 02/12/06
Posts: 135
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Psilocyan]
    #5535576 - 04/19/06 09:32 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I saw a documentary/drama mini-series on Moses. God was a voice in his head and he saw a bush burst into fire so does that mean he's schizophrenic?

Why does there have to be one Jesus? It's unfair if only one person gets to be the son of god when there are a large number of females who would enjoy such a position.


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?


Edited by MagicalKnife (04/19/06 09:37 PM)


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Offlinetheuser
DON'T LOOK
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535636 - 04/19/06 09:42 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I am Jesus. Repent mother fuckers.


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:heart:


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Offlinerecalcitrant
My Own God

Registered: 04/20/02
Posts: 2,927
Loc: Canada West
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535679 - 04/19/06 09:51 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Hey, knife,

I don't mean to jack this thread, but I remember seeing a documentary (or whatever you call those shows that try to attach science to the bible) about the burning bush.

They said something like how there is this plant that grows in that area that creates a flamable gas. And they said that if there is no wind for a while and the gases build up, the heat from the desert can actually spontaniously combust the bush. So that explains that.

And when the shit is God going to be anything but a voice in someones head? Same thing with the devil. Murderers and "prophets" alike deserve massive doses!


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We have to answer our own prayers


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/08/99
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: recalcitrant] * 1
    #5535890 - 04/19/06 10:39 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

When I was young I thought I was jesus for a few years in highschool.

What Learyfan says is "in a nutshell" the statement that has led me to mt current beliefs about the nature Humanity and The individual.

:heart:


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineBrugman
antisobrietarian
Male

Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: recalcitrant]
    #5535906 - 04/19/06 10:45 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Riiight, flaming bush.


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OfflineLearyfanS
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Todcasil]
    #5535924 - 04/19/06 10:49 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

:cool:







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Mp3 of the month:  The Apple-Glass Cyndrome - Someday



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OfflineTaco Chef
I found dead John Cheever
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Registered: 03/03/06
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Learyfan]
    #5535929 - 04/19/06 10:50 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

he did tell me, but i told him to go f himself. oh but before i did i used my magic jesus powers to get lots of bling and putang.


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Offlinenub
Plobable
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Registered: 04/14/06
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Loc: little district
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Brugman]
    #5535941 - 04/19/06 10:53 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

id rather b a decsendant of jesus than a new one. I just cant fit many people on my spaceship you know.


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OfflineRedNucleus
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Registered: 02/26/01
Posts: 4,103
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535945 - 04/19/06 10:55 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

MF'ing tedjesuschristgod.org don't you worship ted yet? he's a cool jesus who maintains his right to use curse words.

link not working. I guess he crucified himself


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Namaste


Edited by RedNucleus (04/19/06 11:00 PM)


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5535974 - 04/19/06 11:09 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I have a friend whose nickname is Jesus(due to their close resemblance).


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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Registered: 10/29/02
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Silversoul]
    #5536041 - 04/19/06 11:27 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

NOBODY fucks with the jesus


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"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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Offlineezsefix
Steve
Male
Registered: 04/10/06
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: danlennon3]
    #5536116 - 04/19/06 11:57 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Jesus likes me as a friend. We haven't reached that "love" part of the relationship quite well.



Also, how many nut cases have claimed to be prophets of God or doing the work of God. How many written documentations of this do you think it takes to make a big book and base a religion on it?


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I am a fictional character


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5536127 - 04/20/06 12:03 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

MagicalKnife said:
Has anyone contemplated the idea that they are the new Jesus but God hasn't told them yet?




wow, I thought I was the only one who did that


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InvisibleRoadkillM
Retired Shroomery Mod
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Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
Loc: Montana
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: MagicalKnife]
    #5536166 - 04/20/06 12:22 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I did 11 dry grams of Cambodians...

and I thought I was Jesus for a couple hours.

I was going to save the whole fucking world.

and then I realized that I was really fucked up!~

:smirk:


tc


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Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
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Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Roadkill]
    #5536175 - 04/20/06 12:25 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

wait a second...

something doesnt add up with this post and what god has been telling me.


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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InvisibleDexter_Morgan
Towlie's Mentor
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Folding@home Statistics
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Ginseng1]
    #5536207 - 04/20/06 12:41 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

After David Coresh died and the Hale-Bopp comet passed, I think god wants me to be the next Jesus. Only hopefully without the martyrdom


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Uncleluke, getting his assbeat, then he tries to delete it
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/6355469#Post6355469
Tomato-Faced Banez
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5933438#Post5933438
Dexter's Thesaurus
beer = guinness
smoke = vaporize
pubers = reasons to be pro-choice


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InvisibleRoadkillM
Retired Shroomery Mod
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Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
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Re: Are you Jesus? [Re: Dexter_Morgan]
    #5536292 - 04/20/06 01:23 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

lolzz

yeah being nailed to a cross doesn't sound like a good time.


~


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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