I've lost sex drive and interest in girls too man, from marijuana not from DXM.
At some point I just understood that I was objectifying and lusting and coveting after women, and that, for the most part, women arne't worth it. They're just people. Like guys. But with the caveat that they are "godesses" and OBJECTS and they KNOW they are objects, because they go out of their way to present themselves that way because it's how the media tells them to be, and because the guys DEMAND it because guys are turned on by them looking kind of scampy...... vicious cycle....
so yeah I mean I don't even get boners unless I'm asleep.... whenever I feel myself getting one I"m like "well what exactly are you excited about?" and I just don't generally get horny. You know I"ll be at a pool all these girls with tons of cleavage of all varieties, fine young supple bodies..... meh. All the guys? Meh. No sex drive for either gender......... strange? Yes I think it is actually but it's sort of a liberation.
I mean there is plenty of time for sex if you actually have a good relationship with a chick, otherwise what's the point of pitching a tent at every "hot" girl you see and always feeling bad becasue you're like "Man i want to bone her but I can't" it's just easier not to want to "bone" her because ..... franklly SUFFERING IS DESIRE...... cut out the desire...
but this was never something voluntary, it was something sort of thrust upon me in juxtaposition with the evils of television, complete and total confusion about religion, not being able to make an identity for myself, and thanks to DXM a week ago ---> feeling like I had become posessed by someone..... and even feeling like my dog is trying to posesses me..........
So DXM well..... now at first I would have said it's a pretty neat drug, but it isn't all that safe or good for the brain..... not to say that it's necessarily bad because there just isn't the right research out there.... but I had some mental issues floating around that raped me on DXM and it sucked ass.
I let people think for me. Always..... my religion..... loved the police.... loved the government....... model student.... then blammo wait all this is BS! But who taught me it was BS? I didn't.... a band did..... and oh wait now I realize this band is controlling what I think so boom I become posessed by one of the members and it freaks me out and now I'm afraid to listen to the band but yet inexplicably was drawn to their new single multiple multiple multiple times in one day......
and ....
so yes DXM messed me up.... I'm getting better though, this messing of my brain up led to me being open with my family, telling them all this shit, which made me feel a lot better.
I guess part of enlightenment is seeing how shallow the world can really be, but the flip side is it's also seeing how beautiful the world can be, too. He's not satisfied becasue he has a bad environment, he should go out in nature or just try and find some sort of really interesting person to converse with.... rediscover beauty.......
i don't think the DXM really has anything to do with sex drive, it just seems to be symptomatic of psychedelic knowledge.
and well the bad experience is a wakeup call that i can't lie dormant thinking "oh i should be healthy" and "oh i should be a vegetarian" and "oh i should talk to my family" should should should. now it's time to do do do....... scooby doo, can doo-doo, but jimmy catter is smarter.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (04/17/06 08:08 PM)
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The Tao Te Ching
If you can talk about it, it ain't Tao. If it has a name, it's just another thing.
Tao doesn't have a name. Names are for ordinary things.
Stop wanting stuff; it keeps you from seeing what's real. When you want stuff, all you see are things.
Those two sentences mean the same thing. Figure them out, and you've got it made.
If you toss compliments around freely, people will waste your time trying to impress you. If you give things too much value, you're going to get ripped off. If you try to please people, you'll just make them pissed.
The Master leads by clearing the crap out of people's heads and opening their hearts. He lowers their aspirations and makes them suck in their guts.
He shows you how to forget what you know and what you want, so nobody can push you around. If you think you've got the answers, he'll mess with your head.
Stop doing stuff all the time, and watch what happens.
Tao is an eternal mystery, and everything starts with Tao.
Everybody has Tao in them. They just have to use it.
Tao never stops. Why? Because it isn't trying to accomplish anything.
The Masters hang back. That's why they're ahead of the game.
They don't hang on to things. That's how they manage to keep them.
They don't worry about what they can't control. That's why they're always satisfied.
There's more than this but if he's interested he should look it up.
Edited by Jackattack (04/17/06 09:24 PM)
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yah i felt the sick darkness come into my life not long ago, but i realized demons are so shallow... you can tear them or just sidestep and see them for what they are...
'you can never turn your back on the real deal...stop acting like you can'
thats what id say to ur pal! Don't Worry, Be Happy!
-------------------- ------------------- peace with everystep
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