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OfflineMadtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers
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Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,287
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Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick
    #5510577 - 04/12/06 11:28 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

So I've just been offered a job. A really fucking good job. But they drug test. I usually wont even fuck around w/ shit like that, because I dont feel its right, but for this much money, I'll kill someones Grandma. We're negotiating salary and bennies and stuff, so it'll be a few weeks before I need to take a test. I'm not worried about passing the thing, my good friend hasnt smoked in months due to some issues of his own, and he'll piss in a bottle for me.

But how are you guys doing this whole "Piss In Condom" thing. Its a white-collar company, I'm sure they wont watch me with my dick in my hand. But are you stretching this condom out first so it holds a goodly amount? Or would a plastic bag and some rubber bands be easier? Someone needs to post a Tek for this.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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OfflineClammyJoe
Azurescen Head
Male

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Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5510590 - 04/12/06 11:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I don't think they require an ungodly amount of urine for a test. Just get some and store it in your undershorts, and then poor it into your cup, and then send me a few 100 clams for helping you.


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InvisibleYrtlzmo
Female
Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 2,623
. [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5510659 - 04/12/06 11:49 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

.


Edited by Yrtlzmo (02/03/13 11:38 PM)


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OfflineInjectTruth
Wasting my Time,Waiting for theEnd
Male

Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 778
Loc: New Jerusalem
Last seen: 28 days, 20 hours
Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Yrtlzmo]
    #5510803 - 04/13/06 12:32 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I HIGHLY recommend Clear choice, instant additive. My one friend is a teacher, and got randomly tested one day. She smokes daily, and failed. She explained she was on medication, they gave her another test and she used it and passed. It is also the only product that ever worked for me personnally, and that was for probation.

Check it out, its DEFINITELY worth it.


--------------------
On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an
individual casts off outmoded and restricting standars of
thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express
CREATIVELY his relationship to his immediate environment and
the social structure as a whole.

http://www.OrganicPharming.com - Ethno Shopping Portal


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OfflineHitman203
Stranger
Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 680
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: InjectTruth]
    #5510819 - 04/13/06 12:38 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

personally if this is a good job and you have the time i would just not smoke for a couple weeks...


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Offlinefresh313
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Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
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Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Hitman203]
    #5510826 - 04/13/06 12:40 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

ready clean works, if u dont smoke for 2 weeks drink alot of water, exercise for like a couple days starting now, then drink the ready clean the day of the test and follow the instructions.


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Offlinedebianlinux
Myconerd - DBK
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Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5511765 - 04/13/06 10:20 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Madtowntripper said:...I'll kill someones Grandma. We're negotiating salary and bennies and stuff, so it'll be a few weeks before I need to take a test....




a few weeks is plenty of time to clean out naturally. stop now. for fuck's sake, if you're willing to kill people for the job then surely you can abstain for a couple weeks. don't be a pussy.


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Offlinedaimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 20 hours
Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5511798 - 04/13/06 10:29 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

If you can find a plastic container that's like a small flask, go with that. Get some hand/foot warmers(the ones that heat to ~106F, and not the ones that heat to ~137F) and rubberband them on there about 30 minutes before the test. It's at the right temp when it feels like a bottle full of...piss.


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."


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Offlinekilroy69
POKER GOD
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Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: daimyo]
    #5515465 - 04/14/06 10:31 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I just used a tick tack bottle last week to pass my piss test.

I put my brothers clean urine in a tick tack container and put it in a bottle of steaming hot water. I took it out when I got to the testing place and put it in the side of my boot. The lady gave me a once over and patted me down to see if I had anything on me. I walked in poured the p!ss into the container and walked out all in about 3 min. I passed and she never even gave me a second look.


--------------------
Yeaaa im still alive.


Edited by kilroy69 (04/14/06 10:39 AM)


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OfflineMadtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers
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Registered: 03/06/03
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Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: debianlinux]
    #5515527 - 04/14/06 10:49 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

debianlinux said:

a few weeks is plenty of time to clean out naturally. stop now. for fuck's sake, if you're willing to kill people for the job then surely you can abstain for a couple weeks. don't be a pussy.




Why stress myself out over it? I smoke alot of weed. I'm not very active. A few weeks very well may NOT be time enough for me to clean myself out. Why even risk it? I have access to perfectly clean piss, and its not like I'll be watched.

Why the fuck should I play their game? *I'm* not anti-drug, THEY are. I'm PRO drug. The fuck if I'm going to change the way I live my life to live up to some bogus expectation of theirs. They will never know that I'm on drugs, and thats just fine with me. The end result will be the same either way, so again, why stress myself over it?

Doesnt make any sense....


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5516046 - 04/14/06 01:24 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

quit smoking
run/do somethingto make you sweat daily
drink tonnes of water
eat healthy
drink one of those drinks

you should be good.

I passed two tests this way, the second time i had only quit smoking for 5 days


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5516049 - 04/14/06 01:26 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

you touch my grandmother and I'll break you


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