Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Kratom Powder For Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
The True Story of a Bachelor
    #5473587 - 04/03/06 05:10 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

WTF did I do?

I havent had sex in so long. It's not believable, and very unbearable.
Tonight, I broke down, and went to craigslist.

what have I done.

I went threw all that was there, and ended up with the worst.

I knew it would be bad, but in a stupor of horniness which has been building up for the last what, two years, i went along and met up with this, thing.

It was nasty. WTF drove me there. What was i thinking?

Suicide never sounded so good.

I went in, it was dark, I could see that it was hideous, but blinded by my hollow void of a need for release, I went in.

Parts of its body, if you could call it that, was not necesarily, normal. it was, something else. that, thing, had the voice not feminine. a body even less.

The whole house smelt like a cheap spray of watermelon bubble bath had been splashed over the whole house.

Now my clothes smell like cheap watermelon bubblebath.

We went at it, I fucked this, thing. I was rough, but so was it. I even put my fingers in its mouth.... what was i thinking.

I had no real atraction what so ever, but I needed to release. Urges too strong.

I man handled that beast of a creature till my muscles became sore. I released. It was the longest release I've ever had. The longest release, with the most hideous of creatures I have ever witnessed...

A crackhore would have been more beautiful.

With my raging lust finally gone, realization of what I had done covered me like a desert sand storm. But I could see, the fog had lifted.

Suicide never sounded so good.

I was nice, I was kind. Not rude. I said my farewells and ran out of there, hoping a truck would run me over. But that truck never came.

Home I flew, and into the shower I dove. Washing my body with dial antibacterial soap from head to toe, trying to rinse off the filth of the, thing.

A condom was used, but I still fear the STDs.

Nightmares i will have tonight. I know it. And for many nights to come.
I can still smell the watermelon. It has attached itself to the clothes I wore, which are now in the dirty hamper.
The lurking memory will haunt me for many lives to come.

The lack of atraction allowed me to be more controlling of the tempo and other "sexual" controls, and with that control and lack of atraction, I lasted pretty long.... normally lasting long would be a good thing. But this was purely torture.

How could this have been prevented?? How can I stop something like this from happening again?
I think, I need a girlfriend.
I need to call that japanese girl that I've been thinking about calling, and finally fuckin call her.

A normal relationship, with some sexual release when needed, will stop these insane build-ups. Or so I hope.
A normal relationship.
Thats what I need.
Just a regular normal relationship.



This is not the first skeleton in my closet, it is the worst, but I fear it will not be the last.


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblezee_werp
a fractalcreature
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/24/03
Posts: 1,026
Loc: Aotearoa
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5473612 - 04/03/06 05:44 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Sorry dude, but LOL! That was a pretty good story.

It sucks that you fucked a beastish thing, but I don't feel that sorry for you cause you did it all yourself. And I'm actually kinda happy cause that was the best post I've read for a long time.

I can relate to you though (except for the fucking of the beast). I was without a gf or sex for over 2 years at one stage after I broke up with my first serious gf. For the first year I just didn't feel like seeing anyone at all and I backed off from chicks hitting on me. The second year I just couldn't really be assed trying to chase down chicks cause I was having a good time with other stuff. But there was certainly lonelyness. And the primal needs for female contact. Then I just built up the balls to hit on this girl I'd been hanging out with, cause I had forgotten how to hit on chicks it had been so long. Then we got together, it was easy as.

Just fucking do it man, hit on this chick, but do it cause you like her not cause you just want to fuck her. Not like the beast. I hope you don't get too traumatised by that.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineJalruza
Boot Lover
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 1,985
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: zee_werp]
    #5473699 - 04/03/06 06:36 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

OMG


--------------------
Time keeps ticking and running away
And It's taking us fast to a brand new free dimension
Too cool to mention well that's the intention
But some of us too dame blind to see
Jesus is the King Volume I
Jesus is the King Volume II
Shroomery MSN club
I'm talking to aliens!
Volcano Vap and Brain Chakras
Hilary Duff!!
:gethigh:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblegoobler
Reanimated
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5473721 - 04/03/06 06:58 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

you busted a nut, right?

call it a good days work and move on....

just think....you are a story she will tell now....(hopefully not in the same manner as yours)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleScott Bennett
Lucrative
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/05/03
Posts: 17,730
Loc: Toronto
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor *DELETED* [Re: eligal]
    #5473768 - 04/03/06 07:35 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by ThaiLipaYai

Reason for deletion: Cleaning House For Paranoia!



--------------------
It's just some nights, you really want to go out, get some hot bitch to dump Goose down your throat and snort coke off a stripper's tits.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleScott Bennett
Lucrative
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/05/03
Posts: 17,730
Loc: Toronto
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor *DELETED* [Re: Scott Bennett]
    #5473770 - 04/03/06 07:36 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by ThaiLipaYai

Reason for deletion: Cleaning House For Paranoia!



--------------------
It's just some nights, you really want to go out, get some hot bitch to dump Goose down your throat and snort coke off a stripper's tits.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblezee_werp
a fractalcreature
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/24/03
Posts: 1,026
Loc: Aotearoa
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Scott Bennett]
    #5475871 - 04/03/06 06:16 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I'm surprised this didn't get more of a response (so far)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineClammyJoe
Azurescen Head
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 3,691
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5475899 - 04/03/06 06:23 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, boooooyyyyy  :crazy2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAnimals
Just Danson inthe Dark
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 1,260
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: ClammyJoe]
    #5475928 - 04/03/06 06:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

What a great story!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinegotcha420haha
Not Available
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/21/05
Posts: 1,217
Loc: In the woods
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Animals]
    #5475950 - 04/03/06 06:34 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....... check back in a week let us know if your weiner fell off...... but yeah, in all seriousness... it happens.... just find a new girl and block this memory.... hahahaha THE BEAST


--------------------
 
"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5475964 - 04/03/06 06:36 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

We went at it, I fucked this, thing. I was rough, but so was it. I even put my fingers in its mouth.... what was i thinking.


Lucky.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5476035 - 04/03/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

:lol:

classic

:thumbup:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5476052 - 04/03/06 06:53 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

WOW :eek: eligal.....

Dude, just talk to chicks, just chat. IME if your choppin it up with a chick, and they are interested in you, they send little signals telling you.

When i get these signals ill make a move.

but damn dude. Really? Craigslist? Dude there are girls out there that will just fuck you without much effort on your part.

Just talk to chicks, thats all you have to do.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495155 - 04/09/06 12:03 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

thats it. ive been permanently traumatized....

tonight i decided that the only way to forget about this horrible incident was to go back to craigslist and find a normal girl. something that i could be certain that it was a girl (thinking back on it, im having difficulty being certain of its gender! now thats scary!).
well, i got a reply from someone. who sounded kind of shady for some reason, and being very specific about what i wanted. then asked how much. now, on craigslist i guess it could just be a prostitute. but then again, it could be the cops...

so i confronted the email with a response asking whether that was the police or not, and they responded with this pic:





:woa:
(is it a cop or a fag?)
either way it creeps me the fuck out!!! damn craigslist!! wtf!
:emocry:


and if it were jus a fag, why would he give himself off as a girl?! was he gonna rape me?!


anyhow, i then confronted this email with his:

answer the question, are you or are you not the police?
because by asking how much im asuming you're asking how much gfe,  since i have not mentioned anythign about money. if you are trying to  hint at money or any other form of financial aid then you are putting  that idea into my head (which would be entrapment and would make me  not guilty of any crime).



well, he has replied with:

Sorry, I am not the police
Why are u so worried?

and after no response he continues:

What can i do to prove it?


and more emails he sends. till even now!


im so scared... what do i do??
i think ill email him back asking why he is passing himself off as a girl. that nasty mofo. so far ive gotten a total of 12 emails from this guy... he just wont go away!

(could it just miss read the post and thought i was a prostitute?)
either way. im not afriad of the craigslist people.....

why does this shit always happen to me...
i once met up with a myspace chick, whos pics were way outdated. but i kept my cool and got out without being touched by the fatty. :laugh:

i need to learn to dance  :tongue:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495206 - 04/09/06 12:25 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Hahahah, you had sex with a man. Just kidding.  :smirk: :grin:

Crazy story. :thumbup:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495243 - 04/09/06 12:36 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

What was wrong with her? Fat bitch or what?


--------------------




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5495244 - 04/09/06 12:36 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Amputee maybe?


--------------------




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCherk
Fashionable
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495295 - 04/09/06 12:53 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

take his pic out of your post


http://www.dlshq.org/download/brahma_nopic.htm


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledownforpot
Stranger
Male
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 5,715
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Cherk]
    #5495331 - 04/09/06 01:05 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Yea... My friend made out with a really ugly chick at a party while he was drunk off his ass. He really regreted it, lol.


--------------------



http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinehIgHdRoLoVeR
delete this user
Male
Registered: 03/25/06
Posts: 203
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495334 - 04/09/06 01:06 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

i find that a picture is worth a thousand words...
next time just use this.


--------------------
hIgHdRoLoVeR
Loving all things hydro since 1989.
http://www.gardenscure.com/420/index.php
the place to go for (medical) marijuana cultivation advice
World of Warcrack...My anti-job!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineToddo
Stranger
Male

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495368 - 04/09/06 01:20 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

dear god man.. get ahold of yourself. I felt dirty just from reading about "the beast"


--------------------
Shroomery Composition Contest


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Toddo]
    #5495477 - 04/09/06 02:18 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

stay off of craigslist dude.


no hot chicks are going to be on there looking for cock. Hot chicks have to beat the cock off with a stick on a daily basis.

Im just gonna quote my earlier post. :lol:

Quote:

suimush said:
WOW :eek: eligal.....

Dude, just talk to chicks, just chat. IME if your choppin it up with a chick, and they are interested in you, they send little signals telling you.

When i get these signals ill make a move.

but damn dude. Really? Craigslist? Dude there are girls out there that will just fuck you without much effort on your part.

Just talk to chicks, thats all you have to do.




--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: sui]
    #5495485 - 04/09/06 02:24 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

wtf is craigslist? Is it a place to find hookers or just regular sluts on the net?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: DieCommie]
    #5495492 - 04/09/06 02:29 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

http://www.craigslist.com/


and happy birthday!


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Edited by sui (04/09/06 02:31 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: sui]
    #5495493 - 04/09/06 02:30 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

hmmmm, thank god i have a wife :lol:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496032 - 04/09/06 09:31 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

first off, to answer some questions and make comments:

mckennadmt, youre just kidding, but thats what im actually afraid of!!

shroomintoxicate, if only it had had tits...

Hella, fat, wierd body contores. almost deformed. and well ugly to the point of uncertanty of gender....

hlghdrolover, it sure is!! haha

todo, you feel dirty from reading it. imagine how dirty i feel from living it.

suimush, yea, im never going there again!! trust me on that! but i had to go one last time. for memories sake. for a chance at sanity.


on to the continuation:

oh god. what a wierd adventure. im back!! at 7:30am... well, after i made my last post, the guy all of a sudden stopped emailing (thank god!), and then i got an email from some girl i had emailed back on the first night with "it". well she seemed nice, but also turned out to be a prostitute..... -_- dammit. haha. but desperate to somehoe erase or write over the memory of "it" i decided that my mental sanity was more valuable than some green paper from my wallet. so i went ahead.

this girl i saw in her pics (which were acurate) that she was a little plump (not huge or anything) with dark hair and fair skin. so i head on over to these unbelievably nice apartments, real luxury apartments. i park, call, shes still gettin ready. so when shes ready she calls me and i go up. she gave me one turn wrong leading me to her neighbors... i rang their doorbell but luckily noone seemed to be home. so i get the right apartment, go in, and its dark as hell. my heart starts to race as it reminds me of the last encounter. "oh no!!" im thinking. "have i once again fallen into the pit of filth which i loath so much?!"

she walks me into her room, and as the light from the room starts to shine on her i see....






a person! a female!! woot!!


haha, she was like in her pics, a little plump, but not a tub of lard. she had her black hair and white skin, and looked much much younger (she said she was 30, but i thought she was 22 or 24 or something...) and looked rather goth. just a tad.
and as we step into her bedroom, what do i see, but a nice big bed full of soft pillows and a thick fury blanket. everything is black or dark read, and is very goth (incase you havent noticed, i really have a thing for goth chicks...). so i sit down on the bed and she sits on the stool infront of me and the pc, and we talk very normal for a bit. school, work, music, friends, etc. jsut normal chit chat. shes really nice and funny and has a cute voice with this great young feminine high pitch typa cute laugh. hard to describe. anyhow, she lays down on the bed and we talk some more, after like, half hour she gives me a back massage, still talkin. then somehow we get to cuddling and listening to music (shes got some good rock/metal), and still talkin. by now i honestly forgot she was a prostitute. i actually thought i was goin out with her somehow...
well cuddling starts getting touch, and eventually im rubbing her. and rubbing. and rubbing. i rubbed her alot... hehe. and finally she has an orgasm. we slow down, still cuddingly. i give her a moment to cool down, and then i go at it again. this time the moans got stronger faster than the last time, yet not too loud. all the while she is kissing me and licking my neck (wow, ive had my neck licked before, but her tongue was so soft. oh man, it gave me a total high. i swear, better than any drug!) i then went down and did the tongue thing until i couldnt move my tongue anymore... hehe. but by now she is about to come again, im tryin to move this dead stiff tongue, but i cant, so i jsut use my neck... and eventually that gets tired. and right at the climax she throws here hands down there and finishes herself off with me locked between her legs. talk about front row view.

we roll over back to norma laying, this time with more space as the room seemed to be about to catch on fire from the heat. she then goes to the bathroom, does her hair or what ever, and as im laying there, i notice that the sun is up... -_-
she comes back acting all cute and lovy dovy, and starts cuddling me and rubbing me etc.

now, guys, how many of you have hard a girl suck n lick our nipples. and i dont mean some girlfriend who wants you to smile and taps it with her tongue one or two times. im talking, makin oral love to your nipples. like the neck, ive been licked there, but nothing like this girl could do. wow.

so she then moves down, slowly workin her way to, the cannon. she kisses and licks all around it. an then puts it in her mouth and, i swear, the tings she did with her tongue i have never even dreamed were physically possible. the sensations i got were unbelievable. i had to really concentrate not to bust right away! but i managed. she then began to deepthroat. she went till her nose hit my pubic bone, and then proceeded to squeeze and release with her throat. it was extacy. she did that for a while, goin back and forth from her tongue thing and her throat thing. eventually i could not take it any more and exploded. in her mouth (with warnings). she took it and swallowed all. :blush:

we aly there, her under my arm, cuddling up to my body. she was already passing out (with a smile on her face :laugh:) and im nto too far behind. after a while i decide i should go home before im too tired to drive. so i say good by and she walks me to the door. i drive home, content. i walk up to my bedroom, about to pass out, when i get a text message from the girl.


we both forgot that i was supposed to pay...


damn. i feel horrible (but then again i spent quite abit goin down on her...). any how, a few text mesages later she says how nice i was etc. but she says she needed the money by noon... so she is gonan stay up and find someone else online to get the money by then. so i tell her that im on my way over then, and she replies with, "no. go to bed.. seriously.. its akward i cant even look u in the eye.."

what the hell does that mean?

so i asked why she cant look at me.

and her response is, "Cus i feel stupid.. N this is al wierd.. N umm yer so nice.. U dont need to be havin this conversation.. Go 2 bed.. Im sure i wil get it in time.. I have 4 hours."

damn....



so thats the story so far. i am now gonna ignore her last two text messages n head on over to pay.... (i feel so wierd payin for sex especially when i also got her off and spent much more time on it...).
but that was the agreement... so off i go.  :undecided:
if im not back in half hour (9am...), i crashed from falling asleep at the wheel (not like its the first time, last time i feel asleep in the motorcycle... but thats another story).


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShroomFan
nn dmt

Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 866
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496114 - 04/09/06 10:19 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

u slut


--------------------
Fellow Shroomerites, if you Love expressing yourself with a dope tee shirt feast your 3rd eye on www.facebook.com/vicereversa
∞ Conscious Clothing for Conscious Minds ∞ Wear a tee , open a mind
Each shirt is spawned to Arouse Awareness <> We believe in Sustainability & Giving back <> Do you know of a community project or persons in need you feel deserves attention? - Tell us on our page And we just might pick the story > develop a tee > and donate the proceeds to that cause. ∞♥∞ Unget it, VICE REVERSA


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496126 - 04/09/06 10:25 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

and im back, alive, and didnt get arrested for driving with a revoked drivers license :smile:
she took like half of what we had orignially agreed on. so thats kul.


i can now go to bed, with a clear head.

the thing is forgotten, it has been covered with a new memory. im sure once it a while it will come back to haunt me. but not on a dialy hourly basis as it has ben doin lately.
also i didnt steal anything or cheat anyone. i helped a girl pay rent or whatever, and made a good night for both out of it as well (im still thinkin about her cute face when she was havin the O,
she was cute).

i think tonight was a good night. and now, i go to bed.
sweet dreams all.

nighty! :dead:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: ShroomFan]
    #5496128 - 04/09/06 10:26 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomFan said:
u slut




haha, that i am! :crazy2:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496158 - 04/09/06 10:39 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

great stories eligal.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinegotcha420haha
Not Available
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/21/05
Posts: 1,217
Loc: In the woods
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496166 - 04/09/06 10:44 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

dude... you ate out a hooker?... thats on my "things not to do" list.... but otherwise it sounds like you had fun and... it wasnt THE BEAST... hahahaha


--------------------
 
"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496575 - 04/09/06 01:21 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

hahaha

You make pawpaw proud!


--------------------




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
 User Gallery
Registered: 05/22/02
Posts: 2,511
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5496802 - 04/09/06 02:40 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Dude you went down on a prostitute? Bad idea.


--------------------
.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496887 - 04/09/06 03:08 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Bro... i would love to see a fuckin movie on your twisted life... thats some good entertainment rite there.

Yea, sorry about that beast shit sounds spooky


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 2,961
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Ginseng1]
    #5496938 - 04/09/06 03:24 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I nominate this Best Pub Thread for today :laugh:

Glad you got rid of the beast's sexual encounter out of your mind.


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleaNeway2sayHooray
Cresley Wusher
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,653
Loc: Orphic Trench
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #5497193 - 04/09/06 05:01 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

We need pictures of both the beast and the goth girl.

Why didnt you fuck her?You paid for oral sex.But no fucky fucky.You should have atleast put it in her ass.Get the most for your money.

Go to the store and purchase some listerine.

I also havnt been laid in a long time.But paying a woman so I can eat her out is somthing I cant see my self doing.

But who knows.I assume you had been drinking.


--------------------
Mad_Larkin said:  Death is just a thang.
:clementine:
MrJellineck said:  Profits, prophets. That's all you jews think about.
sheekle said: life is drugs... and music... and cat... :snowman:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRuNE
bomberman

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5497223 - 04/09/06 05:17 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Your slut grew feelings for ya!  :lol:

Dawwww.



Ring her up again dude, looks like you might be able to hit it without paying.  Might as well have a 'girlfriend' until you can get a girlfriend!


Great stories.
:sun:


--------------------
~Happy sailing~


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAnimals
Just Danson inthe Dark
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 1,260
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RuNE]
    #5497227 - 04/09/06 05:19 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Dude, ate out a prostitute?! Do you know how many dicks have been in there? Probably millions. There was probably like 3 or 4 in there 20 minutes before you got there.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RuNE]
    #5497693 - 04/09/06 07:42 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

RuNE said:
looks like you might be able to hit it without paying.





thats pretty much how it seems. i think she really likes me. when i went back to give her the money at first she denied to let me pay...


and about the eating out thing. yea, that was probably the wrong thing to do. i have no idea how it got to that...
but from the way she explained things shes not some full time hooker or what ever. she does notary or whatever and sometimes she is a little low when it comes time to pay rent. so once in a while she goes on criagslist and finds someone to pay whats left over of the rent. could just be a lie though :shrug:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5497697 - 04/09/06 07:44 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

oh, thought yall might be interested to know, she does shrooms whenever she can get ahold of them :tongue: i might have found a trip buddy... or atleast someone to get some from without growing my own. :grin:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5497738 - 04/09/06 07:53 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

eligal said:
oh, thought yall might be interested to know, she does shrooms whenever she can get ahold of them :tongue: i might have found a trip buddy... or atleast someone to get some from without growing my own. :grin:





Oh, then you're okay!!!  :rolleyes: :smirk:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinegotcha420haha
Not Available
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/21/05
Posts: 1,217
Loc: In the woods
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #5497969 - 04/09/06 08:48 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

so... from eating out a hooker, to tripping with one..?
im no doctor, but arent you supposed to trip with people that you really trust and are comfortable with?... thats just me


--------------------
 
"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: gotcha420haha]
    #5497997 - 04/09/06 08:53 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

The real question is will he have to pay for her time while she trips with him.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5498011 - 04/09/06 08:57 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
The real question is will he have to pay for her time while she trips with him.




:hotidea: :lol:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: sui]
    #5498066 - 04/09/06 09:12 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

That'd be a good way to come off a trip

"So, that'll be 100 dollars"


--------------------




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Jalruza]
    #5498132 - 04/09/06 09:32 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Ewok said:
OMG




--------------------



:murray:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5498173 - 04/09/06 09:47 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
The real question is will he have to pay for her time while she trips with him.




definately not...

if anything, i could get her trippin balls then pimp her out  :stoned:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDobie
Dopeless Hopefiend
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,841
Loc: ON DA BLOCK
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5498729 - 04/10/06 01:30 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

how much did ya pay? just wondering im bored and got some cash lol


--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinetheuser
DON'T LOOK
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5498740 - 04/10/06 01:38 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Wonderful read! I got shivers 1/2 way through.

Could you describe the beast woman? I am dying of curiosity.

(edit)

I read through the thread. I'm glad you found a woman you like. Another thing I need to know is how much did the latest chick cost? Man you are in a weird situation, sexy too!

:laugh:


--------------------
:heart:


Edited by theolduser (04/10/06 01:44 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineToddo
Stranger
Male

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: theuser]
    #5498747 - 04/10/06 01:49 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

thats just cruel... don't make him recall "It"    :sad:


--------------------
Shroomery Composition Contest


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinetheuser
DON'T LOOK
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Toddo]
    #5498750 - 04/10/06 01:52 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Toddo said:
thats just cruel... don't make him recall "It"    :sad:




Okay, okay, but what about costs? I was looking at the list in my area and noticed a lot of attractive women, surprising!

:crazy2:

Oh and I think tripping w/ her could be a very bad idea. :frown:


--------------------
:heart:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinefresh313
journeyman
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5498787 - 04/10/06 03:03 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

pr0n is your friend


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMicrocosmatrix
Spiral staircasetechnician
Male

Registered: 10/20/05
Posts: 11,293
Loc: Ythan's house
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5688533 - 05/29/06 09:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Christ man :nonono:


--------------------
:orly:



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5688545 - 05/29/06 09:23 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

eligal said:
We went at it, I fucked this, thing. I was rough, but so was it. I even put my fingers in its mouth.... what was i thinking.





Was her name Jennifer? She sounds like one of my ex-girlfriends.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Kratom Powder For Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Oh my god WATERMELON
( 1 2 all )
MOTH 4,764 36 07/31/04 12:34 AM
by Source
* watermelon = teh shit
( 1 2 3 all )
ShroomismM 3,693 40 05/25/05 01:52 AM
by Shroomism
* .
( 1 2 3 all )
dr_gonz 12,843 41 05/16/06 10:13 PM
by satori85
* Bachelor food
( 1 2 all )
some1whoisntme 1,975 26 08/07/06 11:06 PM
by Skunk420
* Casual sex on Craigslist
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
RandalFlagg 11,813 111 01/13/15 08:31 PM
by setb
* www.craigslist.com anyone?
( 1 2 all )
ZippoZM 3,443 20 04/28/05 03:56 PM
by Roadkill
* Seedless Watermelon
( 1 2 all )
OneMoreRobot3021 2,506 22 09/12/05 05:32 PM
by bukkake
* Craigslist Sucks Cock
( 1 2 all )
Hitman203 2,919 23 05/29/06 09:38 PM
by Noetical

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
4,281 topic views. 3 members, 50 guests and 46 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.044 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 14 queries.