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OfflineToddo
Stranger
Male

Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5495368 - 04/09/06 01:20 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

dear god man.. get ahold of yourself. I felt dirty just from reading about "the beast"


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Shroomery Composition Contest


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Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Toddo]
    #5495477 - 04/09/06 02:18 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

stay off of craigslist dude.


no hot chicks are going to be on there looking for cock. Hot chicks have to beat the cock off with a stick on a daily basis.

Im just gonna quote my earlier post. :lol:

Quote:

suimush said:
WOW :eek: eligal.....

Dude, just talk to chicks, just chat. IME if your choppin it up with a chick, and they are interested in you, they send little signals telling you.

When i get these signals ill make a move.

but damn dude. Really? Craigslist? Dude there are girls out there that will just fuck you without much effort on your part.

Just talk to chicks, thats all you have to do.




--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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InvisibleDieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: sui]
    #5495485 - 04/09/06 02:24 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

wtf is craigslist? Is it a place to find hookers or just regular sluts on the net?


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Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: DieCommie]
    #5495492 - 04/09/06 02:29 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

http://www.craigslist.com/


and happy birthday!


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



Edited by sui (04/09/06 02:31 AM)


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InvisibleDieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: sui]
    #5495493 - 04/09/06 02:30 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

hmmmm, thank god i have a wife :lol:


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496032 - 04/09/06 09:31 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

first off, to answer some questions and make comments:

mckennadmt, youre just kidding, but thats what im actually afraid of!!

shroomintoxicate, if only it had had tits...

Hella, fat, wierd body contores. almost deformed. and well ugly to the point of uncertanty of gender....

hlghdrolover, it sure is!! haha

todo, you feel dirty from reading it. imagine how dirty i feel from living it.

suimush, yea, im never going there again!! trust me on that! but i had to go one last time. for memories sake. for a chance at sanity.


on to the continuation:

oh god. what a wierd adventure. im back!! at 7:30am... well, after i made my last post, the guy all of a sudden stopped emailing (thank god!), and then i got an email from some girl i had emailed back on the first night with "it". well she seemed nice, but also turned out to be a prostitute..... -_- dammit. haha. but desperate to somehoe erase or write over the memory of "it" i decided that my mental sanity was more valuable than some green paper from my wallet. so i went ahead.

this girl i saw in her pics (which were acurate) that she was a little plump (not huge or anything) with dark hair and fair skin. so i head on over to these unbelievably nice apartments, real luxury apartments. i park, call, shes still gettin ready. so when shes ready she calls me and i go up. she gave me one turn wrong leading me to her neighbors... i rang their doorbell but luckily noone seemed to be home. so i get the right apartment, go in, and its dark as hell. my heart starts to race as it reminds me of the last encounter. "oh no!!" im thinking. "have i once again fallen into the pit of filth which i loath so much?!"

she walks me into her room, and as the light from the room starts to shine on her i see....






a person! a female!! woot!!


haha, she was like in her pics, a little plump, but not a tub of lard. she had her black hair and white skin, and looked much much younger (she said she was 30, but i thought she was 22 or 24 or something...) and looked rather goth. just a tad.
and as we step into her bedroom, what do i see, but a nice big bed full of soft pillows and a thick fury blanket. everything is black or dark read, and is very goth (incase you havent noticed, i really have a thing for goth chicks...). so i sit down on the bed and she sits on the stool infront of me and the pc, and we talk very normal for a bit. school, work, music, friends, etc. jsut normal chit chat. shes really nice and funny and has a cute voice with this great young feminine high pitch typa cute laugh. hard to describe. anyhow, she lays down on the bed and we talk some more, after like, half hour she gives me a back massage, still talkin. then somehow we get to cuddling and listening to music (shes got some good rock/metal), and still talkin. by now i honestly forgot she was a prostitute. i actually thought i was goin out with her somehow...
well cuddling starts getting touch, and eventually im rubbing her. and rubbing. and rubbing. i rubbed her alot... hehe. and finally she has an orgasm. we slow down, still cuddingly. i give her a moment to cool down, and then i go at it again. this time the moans got stronger faster than the last time, yet not too loud. all the while she is kissing me and licking my neck (wow, ive had my neck licked before, but her tongue was so soft. oh man, it gave me a total high. i swear, better than any drug!) i then went down and did the tongue thing until i couldnt move my tongue anymore... hehe. but by now she is about to come again, im tryin to move this dead stiff tongue, but i cant, so i jsut use my neck... and eventually that gets tired. and right at the climax she throws here hands down there and finishes herself off with me locked between her legs. talk about front row view.

we roll over back to norma laying, this time with more space as the room seemed to be about to catch on fire from the heat. she then goes to the bathroom, does her hair or what ever, and as im laying there, i notice that the sun is up... -_-
she comes back acting all cute and lovy dovy, and starts cuddling me and rubbing me etc.

now, guys, how many of you have hard a girl suck n lick our nipples. and i dont mean some girlfriend who wants you to smile and taps it with her tongue one or two times. im talking, makin oral love to your nipples. like the neck, ive been licked there, but nothing like this girl could do. wow.

so she then moves down, slowly workin her way to, the cannon. she kisses and licks all around it. an then puts it in her mouth and, i swear, the tings she did with her tongue i have never even dreamed were physically possible. the sensations i got were unbelievable. i had to really concentrate not to bust right away! but i managed. she then began to deepthroat. she went till her nose hit my pubic bone, and then proceeded to squeeze and release with her throat. it was extacy. she did that for a while, goin back and forth from her tongue thing and her throat thing. eventually i could not take it any more and exploded. in her mouth (with warnings). she took it and swallowed all. :blush:

we aly there, her under my arm, cuddling up to my body. she was already passing out (with a smile on her face :laugh:) and im nto too far behind. after a while i decide i should go home before im too tired to drive. so i say good by and she walks me to the door. i drive home, content. i walk up to my bedroom, about to pass out, when i get a text message from the girl.


we both forgot that i was supposed to pay...


damn. i feel horrible (but then again i spent quite abit goin down on her...). any how, a few text mesages later she says how nice i was etc. but she says she needed the money by noon... so she is gonan stay up and find someone else online to get the money by then. so i tell her that im on my way over then, and she replies with, "no. go to bed.. seriously.. its akward i cant even look u in the eye.."

what the hell does that mean?

so i asked why she cant look at me.

and her response is, "Cus i feel stupid.. N this is al wierd.. N umm yer so nice.. U dont need to be havin this conversation.. Go 2 bed.. Im sure i wil get it in time.. I have 4 hours."

damn....



so thats the story so far. i am now gonna ignore her last two text messages n head on over to pay.... (i feel so wierd payin for sex especially when i also got her off and spent much more time on it...).
but that was the agreement... so off i go.  :undecided:
if im not back in half hour (9am...), i crashed from falling asleep at the wheel (not like its the first time, last time i feel asleep in the motorcycle... but thats another story).


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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OfflineShroomFan
nn dmt

Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 866
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496114 - 04/09/06 10:19 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

u slut


--------------------
Fellow Shroomerites, if you Love expressing yourself with a dope tee shirt feast your 3rd eye on www.facebook.com/vicereversa
∞ Conscious Clothing for Conscious Minds ∞ Wear a tee , open a mind
Each shirt is spawned to Arouse Awareness <> We believe in Sustainability & Giving back <> Do you know of a community project or persons in need you feel deserves attention? - Tell us on our page And we just might pick the story > develop a tee > and donate the proceeds to that cause. ∞♥∞ Unget it, VICE REVERSA


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496126 - 04/09/06 10:25 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

and im back, alive, and didnt get arrested for driving with a revoked drivers license :smile:
she took like half of what we had orignially agreed on. so thats kul.


i can now go to bed, with a clear head.

the thing is forgotten, it has been covered with a new memory. im sure once it a while it will come back to haunt me. but not on a dialy hourly basis as it has ben doin lately.
also i didnt steal anything or cheat anyone. i helped a girl pay rent or whatever, and made a good night for both out of it as well (im still thinkin about her cute face when she was havin the O,
she was cute).

i think tonight was a good night. and now, i go to bed.
sweet dreams all.

nighty! :dead:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: ShroomFan]
    #5496128 - 04/09/06 10:26 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomFan said:
u slut




haha, that i am! :crazy2:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496158 - 04/09/06 10:39 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

great stories eligal.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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Offlinegotcha420haha
Not Available
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/21/05
Posts: 1,217
Loc: In the woods
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496166 - 04/09/06 10:44 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

dude... you ate out a hooker?... thats on my "things not to do" list.... but otherwise it sounds like you had fun and... it wasnt THE BEAST... hahahaha


--------------------
 
"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496575 - 04/09/06 01:21 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

hahaha

You make pawpaw proud!


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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
 User Gallery
Registered: 05/22/02
Posts: 2,511
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5496802 - 04/09/06 02:40 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Dude you went down on a prostitute? Bad idea.


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.


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OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5496887 - 04/09/06 03:08 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Bro... i would love to see a fuckin movie on your twisted life... thats some good entertainment rite there.

Yea, sorry about that beast shit sounds spooky


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 2,961
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: Ginseng1]
    #5496938 - 04/09/06 03:24 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I nominate this Best Pub Thread for today :laugh:

Glad you got rid of the beast's sexual encounter out of your mind.


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:


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InvisibleaNeway2sayHooray
Cresley Wusher
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,653
Loc: Orphic Trench
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #5497193 - 04/09/06 05:01 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

We need pictures of both the beast and the goth girl.

Why didnt you fuck her?You paid for oral sex.But no fucky fucky.You should have atleast put it in her ass.Get the most for your money.

Go to the store and purchase some listerine.

I also havnt been laid in a long time.But paying a woman so I can eat her out is somthing I cant see my self doing.

But who knows.I assume you had been drinking.


--------------------
Mad_Larkin said:  Death is just a thang.
:clementine:
MrJellineck said:  Profits, prophets. That's all you jews think about.
sheekle said: life is drugs... and music... and cat... :snowman:


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OfflineRuNE
bomberman

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5497223 - 04/09/06 05:17 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Your slut grew feelings for ya!  :lol:

Dawwww.



Ring her up again dude, looks like you might be able to hit it without paying.  Might as well have a 'girlfriend' until you can get a girlfriend!


Great stories.
:sun:


--------------------
~Happy sailing~


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OfflineAnimals
Just Danson inthe Dark
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 1,260
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RuNE]
    #5497227 - 04/09/06 05:19 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Dude, ate out a prostitute?! Do you know how many dicks have been in there? Probably millions. There was probably like 3 or 4 in there 20 minutes before you got there.


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: RuNE]
    #5497693 - 04/09/06 07:42 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

RuNE said:
looks like you might be able to hit it without paying.





thats pretty much how it seems. i think she really likes me. when i went back to give her the money at first she denied to let me pay...


and about the eating out thing. yea, that was probably the wrong thing to do. i have no idea how it got to that...
but from the way she explained things shes not some full time hooker or what ever. she does notary or whatever and sometimes she is a little low when it comes time to pay rent. so once in a while she goes on criagslist and finds someone to pay whats left over of the rent. could just be a lie though :shrug:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: The True Story of a Bachelor [Re: eligal]
    #5497697 - 04/09/06 07:44 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

oh, thought yall might be interested to know, she does shrooms whenever she can get ahold of them :tongue: i might have found a trip buddy... or atleast someone to get some from without growing my own. :grin:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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