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Pirate_Patrick
Stranger

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 342
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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From a guys point of view...
#5462223 - 03/30/06 11:48 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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From a guys point of view......
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Dobie
Dopeless Hopefiend

Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,841
Loc: ON DA BLOCK
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
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yes that is fuckin awesome that shit made me crack up
-------------------- This place is gayer than when the balls touch
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theuser
DON'T LOOK

Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Dobie]
#5462242 - 03/30/06 11:54 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Tattoo
Thread Killer


Registered: 02/23/06
Posts: 1,574
Last seen: 8 years, 25 days
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: theuser]
#5462253 - 03/30/06 11:58 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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heh
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one nigga run, two nigga run
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unbeliever
Yo Daddy!

Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Gallifrey
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
#5462266 - 03/31/06 12:01 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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fake
-------------------- Happiness is a warm gun...
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Tattoo
Thread Killer


Registered: 02/23/06
Posts: 1,574
Last seen: 8 years, 25 days
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: unbeliever]
#5462271 - 03/31/06 12:03 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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obviously, but still amusing
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one nigga run, two nigga run
Edited by Tattoo (03/31/06 12:03 AM)
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Ximp
Toker


Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 69
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
#5462284 - 03/31/06 12:06 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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LOL Thats hilarious
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unbeliever
Yo Daddy!

Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Gallifrey
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
#5462290 - 03/31/06 12:07 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tattoo said: obviously, but still amusing
Well yeah. If it wasn't fake, I'd tell him to dump a bitch that fucking backwards and retarded.
-------------------- Happiness is a warm gun...
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag


Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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LOL THAT HAPPENED 2 MY FRIEND
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Pirate_Patrick
Stranger

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 342
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
#5462353 - 03/31/06 12:24 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Yes it is fake. But still funny as hell.
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nickpdx
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 154
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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That kind of shit is what makes me feel very fortunate to be gay.
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Tattoo
Thread Killer


Registered: 02/23/06
Posts: 1,574
Last seen: 8 years, 25 days
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: nickpdx]
#5462395 - 03/31/06 12:37 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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omg thats so gay
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one nigga run, two nigga run
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hoboblues

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 610
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
#5462411 - 03/31/06 12:42 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Good story, regardless if it's fake or not.
Here's another good one...
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend was a dream.
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was 20 years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate---she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome, and really didn't want to overcome. She told me she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me".
I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight to my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family".
The moral of the story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
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TRizzle96
Newbie

Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 9
Loc: Bay Area
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: hoboblues]
#5462458 - 03/31/06 12:58 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Haha, nice.
-------------------- Only writing here to fill out my posts...
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