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OfflinePirate_Patrick
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Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 342
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
From a guys point of view...
    #5462223 - 03/30/06 11:48 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


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OfflineDobie
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Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,841
Loc: ON DA BLOCK Flag
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Pirate_Patrick]
    #5462231 - 03/30/06 11:51 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

yes that is fuckin awesome :laugh: that shit made me crack up


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This place is gayer than when the balls touch


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Offlinetheuser
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Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Dobie]
    #5462242 - 03/30/06 11:54 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

:drama:


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:heart:


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OfflineTattoo
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Registered: 02/23/06
Posts: 1,574
Last seen: 8 years, 25 days
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: theuser]
    #5462253 - 03/30/06 11:58 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

heh


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:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:


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Offlineunbeliever
Yo Daddy!
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Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Gallifrey
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
    #5462266 - 03/31/06 12:01 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

fake


--------------------
Happiness is a warm gun...


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OfflineTattoo
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: unbeliever]
    #5462271 - 03/31/06 12:03 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

obviously, but still amusing


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:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:


Edited by Tattoo (03/31/06 12:03 AM)


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OfflineXimp
Toker
Male

Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 69
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
    #5462284 - 03/31/06 12:06 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

LOL Thats hilarious


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Offlineunbeliever
Yo Daddy!
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Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Gallifrey
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
    #5462290 - 03/31/06 12:07 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Tattoo said:
obviously, but still amusing




Well yeah. If it wasn't fake, I'd tell him to dump a bitch that fucking backwards and retarded.


--------------------
Happiness is a warm gun...


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Pirate_Patrick]
    #5462302 - 03/31/06 12:12 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

LOL THAT HAPPENED 2 MY FRIEND


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OfflinePirate_Patrick
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Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 342
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5462353 - 03/31/06 12:24 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Yes it is fake. But still funny as hell.


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Offlinenickpdx
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 154
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Pirate_Patrick]
    #5462393 - 03/31/06 12:36 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

That kind of shit is what makes me feel very fortunate to be gay.  :tongue:


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OfflineTattoo
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Registered: 02/23/06
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Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: nickpdx]
    #5462395 - 03/31/06 12:37 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

omg thats so gay


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:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:


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Invisiblehoboblues
Male
Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 610
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: Tattoo]
    #5462411 - 03/31/06 12:42 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Good story, regardless if it's fake or not.

Here's another good one...


I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so
we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends
encouraged me, and my girlfriend was a dream.

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one
thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was 20 years of age, wore tight mini skirts
and low cut blouses. She would bend down when quite near me and I got
many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate---she
never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she couldn't overcome, and really didn't want to overcome. She told
me she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and
committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up
and get me".

I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When
she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the
stairs at me.

I stood there a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight to my
car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little
test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family".


The moral of the story is:


Always keep your condoms in your car.


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OfflineTRizzle96
Newbie
Male
Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 9
Loc: Bay Area
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: From a guys point of view... [Re: hoboblues]
    #5462458 - 03/31/06 12:58 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Haha, nice.


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Only writing here to fill out my posts...


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