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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 24 days
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little white lies?
#5453933 - 03/29/06 03:40 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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lately I have been more conscious of what ive been eating (not a weight-loss thing, a lifestyle thing), but ive also been conscious of what comes out of my mouth. ive never been a chatterbox or anything, but I have started to give more importance to making sure i mean what i say, and say what i mean, which really roots in the truth of your words. (also referring to the Four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and countless other writings)
Now I'm not a pathological liar, in fact Im a bad liar, with a bad memory, and as my pops always said "the truth is easier to remember," so I normally stick close to that, however I do notice sublte slips all of the time. I am probably being hard on myself calling them "lies" but to me, little white lie = excuse.
and for someone that can spot an excuse from a mile away, if they come from me i dont notice em as much, cause im too busy doing it. for example, I may not answer my phone for a week because I can't deal with the distraction. Then instead of telling that so someone who I finally call, who is clearly upset, I usually tell them my battery was dead / lost my phone / etc. when really, I could just as easily tell them the truth.
That is just one small example of many, and of course there are bigger issues than that, but for things like these, I dont even consciouslly reach a point where I decide to tell the truth or make an excuse.. its like I just go right for it.
Maybe I spend too much time thinking about meaningless things, but I've been feeling like in order to really get into the mindstate I want to be in, I would like to know I have absolute control over the things I say, then I can start working on how to think / concentrate (better).
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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psyka
Praetorian


Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
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Re: little white lies? [Re: kotik]
#5454145 - 03/29/06 07:58 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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The verbal truth/lie is of no importance, because it is an illusion itself.
The only importance in life is what you produce. Nobody gives a shit what you say or think, they only really care what you produce.
Sometimes, the less people know the better for you. My problem is that I tell the truth to often, and when someone doesn't understand it, I take 10 minutes to explain to them. Now people I work with tell me I'm far too up in my head... sometimes its easier to say something more basic... even if its not the truth.
-------------------- As the life of a candle, my wick will burn out. But, the fire of my mind shall beam into infinite.

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doxhevex
If it fits inyour mouth, it'sEDIBLE


Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 97
Loc: Pennsylvania...unfortunat...
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: little white lies? [Re: psyka]
#5455441 - 03/29/06 02:32 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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if i lie, then i tell the person that i lied directly afterwards. unless its a cop or something.
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 24 days
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Re: little white lies? [Re: doxhevex]
#5455490 - 03/29/06 02:44 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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psyka, i understand where you come from, and thats basically how i see it too, however I would really like for my natural answers to be truth, i feel like ive conditioned myself to be a natural "white lier" if there is such a thing.
im guessing there are not many humans that go on without ever telling white lies, but i would like to try.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: little white lies? [Re: psyka]
#5455515 - 03/29/06 02:50 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
psyka said: Now people I work with tell me I'm far too up in my head... sometimes its easier to say something more basic... even if its not the truth.
mmm but I wouldn't call that a lie, it's just simplifying the truth based upon circumstances to yield what they want to hear.
I mean...... it's kind of like if someone says "how are you?" and you say "okay" because saying "kind of shitty" and then going into a 20 minute rant on your feelings is not what they are looking for..... but these things atrophy any ability to further communication.
I say screw those people, they don't care about you if they aren't willing to hear you speak your truth. People go around sharing shells of themselves.... what's up man not much how are you pretty good you catch that family guy last night yeah it was cool.
but maybe a truer conversation would be whats up man not much. how are you not that good dude i've been pretty lonely.
then the conversation never has to go to trivialities of family guy and people grow closer together.
I can't really think of many instances where I have lied.... maybe like 2 times over the past 6 months it seems like.... but being indiscrete or holding information back because like you people just aren't interested in hearing it... or because I don't feel comfortable disclosing it... yes.
but deliberately witholding truth when asked for it.... to where my conscience speaks out agianst me.... I rarely do..... generally if so it's because like, my parents want to know what I did over X amount of days and I don't want to say "drugs"
the kind of stuff that irks me the most is habitual white lies.... not to get down on you topic starter but I wouldn't feel like I could trust someone that said their phone died instead of they were having a hard time and didn't want to talk to me. I'd rather hear that from them or have them make it clear to me in some other way.
If I had a significant other that did stuff like that it would destroy our relatoinship and I probably couldn't continue. You know, she went out drinking and when I ask her what she did she'd say "oh I was studying" or shit like that........ people that make stuff up like that even when they having nothing to hide... habitual indiscretions, half truths and flat out lies ....
I don't know if many people do it or not..... but I make it my mission to try my hardest not to for those that I am close with, and ..... I'm not close with many so it's not a hard thing to do.
I think relationships have to start with complete and sincere honesty, otherwise the person you're meeting isn't really the person they present themselves to be. "Must love dogs" stated this........
but yeah my main indiscretions come from emotions and feeling isolated like I can't burden people with mine that they would judge me, think I'm crazy, or aren't really interested enough to hear.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (03/29/06 02:54 PM)
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wery67564
Stranger
Registered: 01/14/06
Posts: 221
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Re: little white lies? [Re: leery11]
#5455914 - 03/29/06 04:56 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I am a pathological liar, but, only wheen it comes to issues of my pst or of my sense of self. When it comes to knowledge outside of my past emotions, I never lie. I find that when people ask about me, they don't want truth, they want entertainment, when they ask about the world, they seek knowledge. To lie about knowledge though is in itself lying, all knowledge is passed through many filters before it becomes fact. So, the most I can say about the world is what has passed through my sense of self. The only things I truly consider myself is an anarchist and a human, so why not lie about everything else?
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: little white lies? [Re: wery67564]
#5455922 - 03/29/06 04:59 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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what of those who would want truth instead of entertainment? There aren't many, but there are some.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 24 days
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Re: little white lies? [Re: leery11]
#5455979 - 03/29/06 05:23 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
not to get down on you topic starter but I wouldn't feel like I could trust someone that said their phone died instead of they were having a hard time and didn't want to talk to me. I'd rather hear that from them or have them make it clear to me in some other way.
ya, me too.
i find it amazing you say you have only lied a couple of times in the past 6 months... even unbelievable. but that probably says more about me than you.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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tak
geo's henchman



Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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Re: little white lies? [Re: kotik]
#5456371 - 03/29/06 06:42 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think I am borderline pathological liar.
It usually only happens at work, I consider it more joking, but in the end I probably tell my employees 20-30 lies a day.
Its fun I like tricking people.
-------------------- The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: little white lies? [Re: kotik]
#5456500 - 03/29/06 07:04 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
kotik said:
Quote:
not to get down on you topic starter but I wouldn't feel like I could trust someone that said their phone died instead of they were having a hard time and didn't want to talk to me. I'd rather hear that from them or have them make it clear to me in some other way.
ya, me too.
i find it amazing you say you have only lied a couple of times in the past 6 months... even unbelievable. but that probably says more about me than you.
well first of all... i haven't had more than like 20 convesrations in the past 6 months either... the only people i talk to i would have no reaosn to lie to other than family to protect myself from divulging my illegal activities.... or authority figures.
so in certain cases i might say 'no' if asked if i do drugs... and i accidentally lied about psychedelics sayign "i've only done mescaline" which isn't true, I'm not sure why I said it but I believed it at the time....... maybe an ego-defense mechanism to keep me from spouting off "oh.... dxm, salvia, lsa, mescaline, marijuana" so as to paint a bad image of myself to people that don't know about drugs like i do.
what I can say I've told 2-4 "immoral" lies (to my conscience) within the past 2 semesters. And I think one was about drugs in some way..... I dunno.
When do I have opportunity to lie? I don't consider "good" as an answer to "how are you" as a lie...... things like that..... I suppose they could be........ generally even if I'm feeling bad I'll somehow perplexibly feel better by the time anyone even gets around to asking me that quesiton.... then the badness will come back later at some point.
I dunno.
I lied about where I heard people sell drugs here because I didn't see any reason to confirm such things in public when my sober friend randomly strayed into drug related conversation and I mentioned some hippy was blurting out a location at a drug conference [which was funny] and i lied about being high like 8 months ago while at a football game because i was a little paranoid.
who knows. I don't lie much though and that isn't a lie as best as my memory serves me.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (03/29/06 07:06 PM)
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: little white lies? [Re: kotik]
#5458095 - 03/30/06 02:28 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I try to stay at truth as much as possible and do not see something, what discomforts others as a real problem to me, so I should have to lie. I have good reasons for everything I do, and someone who can not accept that, is not worth real friendly company. So it is a test who will fit to your heart, if you stay honest  In job that is a bit different, because there are many assholes who want to rip you off or only hunt after their egoistical advantage and profit. It is more like war there, and even there I try to avoid lies, but I am not so strict on it. Truth is a hard message for assholes, who try to manipulate truth by themselves in hyper egoistical manners.
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