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i keep hearing about how you shouldn't trip if there's something bad going on in your life. i can see that trips can exaggerate this and perhaps make you do something you might regret, but on the other side of the coin:
having read about how some south american indians would trip only in pitch darkness, i thought it would be an interesting thing to try... not to have any visuals except what you see in your mind's eye. so i locked myself in the bathroom and proceeded to trip in the pitch dark.
not too long prior to this trip, one of my good friends had passed away from meningitis. we had grown up together and we were tight, but in high school we started drifting, and when he died we were actually not on very good terms. i guess i had felt bad about this but i had no idea what was in store for me. somewhere along the line, the trip began to focus on matt (my dead friend). i realized what good friends we were and the times we had, and how precious that was... the sense of loss was so profound... and i couldn't let go. the mushroom forced me to feel the tumult of emotions fully... the excruciating pain was so profound i could only sit in a fetal position and rock back and forth and just cry. after a while i realized that the mushroom was telling me i had to say goodbye. btw during this whole experience i was talking to myself, well rather i was vocalizing what the mushroom was saying... and i would have a dialog with it, so to an outsider it would seem that i was having a conversation w/myself. so finally after allowing me to fully feel the pain of the loss and grieve, the mushroom said to me, "say goodbye.... it's ok... just say goodbye".
when i came down from the trip i felt so purged and good. not sure if tripping in pitch darkness made the trip more introspective and thus helped produce this type of a trip, i would think it would contribute somewhat. anyhow it was a truly cathartic experience that i never expected....
-------------------- Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot. - Niel Gaiman
This is what I find so interesting about the mushroom. It has a very powerfull way of letting you know the way things should be. I bet that even though those 6 hours or so were probably excruciating, that you do not regret the outcome a single bit. Heres to health and happiness!!!!!
-------------------- "WHATS THE USE OF AUTONOMY WHEN A BUTTON DOES IT ALL?"
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