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Invisiblekaniz
That one, overthere.
Male

Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 4,166
Loc: Ontario
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: blink]
    #5437413 - 03/24/06 07:33 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:


I see all these young couples with kids and I think to myself, "They can no longer party, they are most likely living pay check to pay check, sex life after kids must suck, ugh babies just cry and cry, ugh kids just cost and cost and I could not be a fit parent".





I think having children should be something planned, and only something done when the parents are financially stable enough to support the child and not need to live pay check to pay check.

Kids who are fresh out of college, getting entry-level jobs and have a combined income of 60/k a year, should not be going off popping out children I agree.

But, (hopefully), if they are together, in their 30s, and have a total income of say, over 100k/yr (either by one, or both, or able to maintain that if one quits to raise the child) - then having a kid isnt going to make them live from pay check to pay check.

Personnaly, I dont plan on having kids - ever, much to my mothers dismay. And thankfully, being gay : I dont have to worry about accidently producing one unplanned.

However, for many people - they dont want to party for life, adn they reach a stage where they do want to settle down, raise a family, have kids and start a life, they dont have the same need/desire to party like they used to. So its not like they are really giving up that much in the proccess.

I think your rant is more

"Young couples having kids before they are ready" - they dont make enough money, they still want to party, and they cant meat the challenges of raising a child.

If anything, having a kid during that time seems more like a selfish thing to do - as you are not having the best interest of the child in mind.

I know, that if I ever change my mind and decide to have a kid (I'd need to adopt, or get a freind to carry it for me), it wouldnt be untill I was much older (mid 30s), well established, making lots of money, and had already been saving/putting money aside for the sole purpose of raising the child.


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Offlinetheuser
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Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: kaniz]
    #5437435 - 03/24/06 07:41 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Ha! I didn't even think about the gay factor, you have it made. :wink:


Quote:

Bowers said:
I have to totally agree with you, and right now it really hits close to home. My roomate just found out she is pregnant and she is 20yrs old. She is in college, and the baby daddy lives in Georgia. (We are in Ontario Canada) Her dad still pays her half of the rent because she is in school, but is cutting her off in May. She thinks everything is going to be just peachy. She needs a fuckin kick in the ass. Not only does that leave me high and dry sometime in the next 9 months, but I don't even want to live with a pregnant woman. I know how moody they can get. Not only that, her BF I assume will have to come here, and I fuckin hate the guy! Though I think his true colours will show, and she may be on her own with this kid. I mean he lives in GEORGIA. like wtf.




That sucks. Is the guy going to pay child support?


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:heart:


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Invisibleblissedout
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Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: goobler]
    #5437467 - 03/24/06 07:57 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

goobler said:
I've been married almost 11 years, , dated my wife for 3 years before that.  Love her, ,love my kids...

I'd never give that up for any amount of 'partying' or 'freedom' .

I am where I want to be and to me there is no greater joy than seeing your child smile



:thumbup:

I feel the same way. I have given up some things, but nothing serious. I work the same amount of time, do the same things when I come home, and love my life. It's not always easy, but it never has been, so there's no change there. I still go to festivals and still have a great time. The cootchie has gone back to it's original size, too. You guys are all scared for nothing. I am 30 and I was ready to have a child. Life is so much more beautiful, now that he is in it.


--------------------



:murray:


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: blissedout]
    #5437470 - 03/24/06 07:59 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Someday I'll get there. :smile:


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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OfflineBowers
Bobba Ganoosh
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Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 934
Loc: Ontario, CA
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437480 - 03/24/06 08:06 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

well I am sure he will pay child support if that is ALL he does. He does that for the 2 kids he has now anyway.


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Offlinetheuser
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Registered: 08/04/05
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Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: Bowers]
    #5437489 - 03/24/06 08:11 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Bowers said:
well I am sure he will pay child support if that is ALL he does. He does that for the 2 kids he has now anyway.




Gah, use a god damn condom! :frown:

Quote:

blissedout said:
Quote:

goobler said:
I've been married almost 11 years, , dated my wife for 3 years before that.  Love her, ,love my kids...

I'd never give that up for any amount of 'partying' or 'freedom' .

I am where I want to be and to me there is no greater joy than seeing your child smile



:thumbup:

I feel the same way. I have given up some things, but nothing serious. I work the same amount of time, do the same things when I come home, and love my life. It's not always easy, but it never has been, so there's no change there. I still go to festivals and still have a great time. The cootchie has gone back to it's original size, too. You guys are all scared for nothing. I am 30 and I was ready to have a child. Life is so much more beautiful, now that he is in it.




I respect the family man, it is something that I can not do at this time. Were you 30 when you had a kid?


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:heart:


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InvisibleBoom
just a tester
Male
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437496 - 03/24/06 08:13 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Close family friends have had children that -- by all measures -- could be classified as "unplanned"..or a terrible way to describe a child -- an "accident".  (side note: My mom tells me she heard her parents talking about "prophylactics" not being 100%..that's how they wound up with "my mom's name here" -- then glanced and saw she was standing there..and added "not that we didn't want to have you" :lol:)

Luckily, both people I know that have had children at a young age have been financially well off (one was a jockey..it's funny seeing a 100 pound girl 9 months pregnant :grin: )

You can still party (within reason) as long as you make sure that your number one priority is your kid.  If anything, it can help you grow as a person as opposed to shattering your world


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: Boom]
    #5437500 - 03/24/06 08:15 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I was a "surprise." :grin:


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437501 - 03/24/06 08:16 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

He was born in January, so I was 29, but close enough to 30.

5 years ago, I wouldn't have been ready, either, but I don't want to be 50, trying to kick the soccer ball with him, you know?


--------------------



:murray:


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Invisibleblissedout
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Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: Boom]
    #5437508 - 03/24/06 08:19 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Booooom said:
..it's funny seeing a 100 pound girl 9 months pregnant :grin: )




Danksis was 98 lbs when she got pregnant. She didn't gain weight anywhere, but he belly and boobs. :tongue2:
Quote:

You can still party (within reason) as long as you make sure that your number one priority is your kid.  If anything, it can help you grow as a person as opposed to shattering your world



:thumbup:


--------------------



:murray:


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InvisibleBoom
just a tester
Male
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5437511 - 03/24/06 08:20 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah, I love telling friends that they were "mistakes" -- when they have 3 older siblings that are a year or so apart -- and the friend in question is a solid 4 years younger :lol:


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InvisibleBoom
just a tester
Male
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: blissedout]
    #5437516 - 03/24/06 08:22 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blissedout said:
Danksis was 98 lbs when she got pregnant. She didn't gain weight anywhere, but he belly and boobs. :tongue2:





From the back, they still look tiny, then when they turn around it's funny :lol:


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Offlinetheuser
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Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 5,859
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: blissedout]
    #5437518 - 03/24/06 08:22 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blissedout said:
He was born in January, so I was 29, but close enough to 30.

5 years ago, I wouldn't have been ready, either, but I don't want to be 50, trying to kick the soccer ball with him, you know?




Yeah, I have thought about that too, do I want a kid at 40 and when he is 10 I am 50 and can't well as you said, kick the ball around.

And to the other post, I doubt that many of us were planned. I don't think that being an "accedent" is a bad thing, it's just nature. :wink:


--------------------
:heart:


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OfflineBowers
Bobba Ganoosh
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Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 934
Loc: Ontario, CA
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437534 - 03/24/06 08:27 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

they didnt use a condom on purpose.. that is why I am so pissed off.. and she knowingly for got to take her BC pills.. that is why I am so upset, she thought she was invincible and could not have kids. FUCKIN DUMB!!!!


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Offlinetheuser
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Registered: 08/04/05
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Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: Bowers]
    #5437557 - 03/24/06 08:35 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Bowers said:
they didnt use a condom on purpose.. that is why I am so pissed off.. and she knowingly for got to take her BC pills.. that is why I am so upset, she thought she was invincible and could not have kids. FUCKIN DUMB!!!!




Gah! My woman takes the pill once a day and I um "finish" the job outside (which is sexier), we are very active and have been for 6 years now, so I am guessing that is a great combo.

Oh I edited the 1st post about the whole tight vagina thing. :x


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:heart:


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437663 - 03/24/06 09:18 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

theolduser said:
Quote:

dobie said:
have you been with a girl who has had a kid it doesnt get super loose if anything it gets tighter at least in my experiance and ive bagged a couple babies mommas in my time :laugh:




So everything is all normal down there? I can't imagine after having a child come out of there it could go back to being normal. I was guessing on that one honestly, that isn't something I study on. I have heard of huge permanent scars and other nasty things I am not even going to get into.




Dude, are you 12 years old? If so, then yeah, don't have kids.

Also better make sure your girlfriend knows how you feel about all this before you get too serious with her.


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InvisibleRevelation

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Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437682 - 03/24/06 09:28 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Obviously you had better be ready financially and emotionally if you are going to have a kid, but for many people it's just the kind of direction they need in life. I mean think about it, you're 20 something, you have no ambition, no idea what your gonna do, are suffering from depression and middle class white kid existential angst and the BOOM you have a baby to take care of. It's gonna radically redefine your whole life.

Quote:

You know your womans nice tight, well.. area? Bye, bye!




Wow, that's immature. C'mon man, if you loved the girl this would not even be an issue. If you didn't love the girl, well that's gonna be the least of your problems.


--------------------


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: Revelation]
    #5437693 - 03/24/06 09:33 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)



Quote:

Revelation said:
Obviously you had better be ready financially and emotionally if you are going to have a kid, but for many people it's just the kind of direction they need in life.  I mean think about it, you're 20 something, you have no ambition, no idea what your gonna do, are suffering from depression and middle class white kid existential angst and the BOOM you have a baby to take care of.  It's gonna radically redefine your whole life.

Quote:

You know your womans nice tight, well.. area? Bye, bye!




Wow, that's immature.  C'mon man, if you loved the girl this would not even be an issue.  If you didn't love the girl, well that's gonna be the least of your problems.




Good point. About the vagina thing, I was just bringing that out into the open, and hey some people here are saying that it is not true.

"I mean think about it, you're 20 something, you have no ambition, no idea what your gonna do, are suffering from depression and middle class white kid existential angst and the BOOM you have a baby to take care of."

Yeah, this thread was me venting. If that makes you happy more power to ya! :smile:


--------------------
:heart:


Edited by theolduser (03/24/06 09:59 AM)


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Offlineinetd
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Registered: 05/22/04
Posts: 32
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: theuser]
    #5437913 - 03/24/06 11:07 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

The great majority of young couples (~19 years old) I've seen get married break up not long afterwards. Most of the people I've known who had kids at a young age really had their lives messed up due to it. It's incredibly sad.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
Re: The biggest mistake young couples can make? [Re: inetd]
    #5437939 - 03/24/06 11:16 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

thats because they are selfish


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