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InvisibleMOTH
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There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now
    #5416244 - 03/18/06 03:26 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I came home from work to see an elderly man holding a Bible sitting in my living room. Across from him sat my husband. I said, "hello," and went upstairs to take a shower and to call a friend. I can now hear them discussing "Biblical matters" downstairs as I type this post.

How do you react to door-to-door religious stuff?


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InvisibleStonerguy
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416249 - 03/18/06 03:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I never let them in. Not to long ago I said "I am athiest" then we got into a debat over if God existed and other religious matters. By the end he walked of as said "You are going to be damned to hell"


--------------------
yawn...
SG


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416259 - 03/18/06 03:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I used to get visited by this Jehova's Witness couple.  They were actually really nice.  But, I just was not too interested in their religion.  :shrug:


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416260 - 03/18/06 03:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Walk into the room naked and sit next to the guy.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Stonerguy]
    #5416266 - 03/18/06 03:33 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Kevin is asking the guy questions and stuff and going off about Christianity. I hope he doesn't expect me to go down there and socialize with him too. The last thing I want after working 9 hours is to hear a sermon...maybe any other time, but not now.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416274 - 03/18/06 03:34 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

You're going to hell Ellemy.


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Offlinepshawny
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416282 - 03/18/06 03:35 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I had a friend that let a couple younger, probably 18 or so, jehovah's witnesses into his house once. He told them they could come in and hang out, but told them he didn't want to talk about religious stuff. They chilled for awhile and I guess they were pretty cool guys after all.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5416283 - 03/18/06 03:35 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
I used to get visited by this Jehova's Witness couple.  They were actually really nice.  But, I just was not too interested in their religion.  :shrug:




Yeah, this dude is so nice and polite...but to the point where I'm bored just evesdropping.


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InvisibleStonerguy
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416288 - 03/18/06 03:36 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Yell at the top of your voice "Hey Kevin its time to have sex!"


--------------------
yawn...
SG


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Stonerguy]
    #5416290 - 03/18/06 03:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Stonerguy said:
Yell at the top of your voice "Hey Kevin its time to have sex!"




:lol:


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Offlinepshawny
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Stonerguy]
    #5416299 - 03/18/06 03:39 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Stonerguy said:
Yell at the top of your voice "Hey Kevin its time to have sex, in my ass!"




--------------------


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: pshawny]
    #5416307 - 03/18/06 03:42 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I can't bring myself to be rude to him...he's too nice.

I do wish he would leave though. I feel like I'm treed in the upper half of my home with no way out.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416317 - 03/18/06 03:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Is Kevin on E right now?


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #5416321 - 03/18/06 03:46 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

No. He's just as sober as I am. (reallllly sober)

I guess he likes to hear people talk about religion.


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Offlinepshawny
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416329 - 03/18/06 03:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Climb out a window. Then come inside the same way you did before, say hello and go upstairs. Do this over and over again until he gets freaked out and leaves.


--------------------


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: pshawny]
    #5416334 - 03/18/06 03:50 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Whoa. That's actually a good idea.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416341 - 03/18/06 03:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

1. Do you have any pornos? Start playing one at high volumes if you have an upstairs TV. Or just download one off the net and start playing it loudly.

2. Walk naked down into the living room.


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Offlineblackroselove
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: pshawny]
    #5416353 - 03/18/06 03:54 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

HEHE I should remember that one.

Every time I take the time to talk to one, they leave cursing me to hell.


BlackieRL:flaming:


--------------------
BlackieRL:flaming:
BRL:flaming:


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OfflineTriad
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: pshawny]
    #5416355 - 03/18/06 03:54 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Great idea...  :eek:


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Invisiblespud
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416361 - 03/18/06 03:55 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

You should ask him why the Jehovah's Witnesses have been employing policies that make the reporting of child molestation difficult.


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Offlinepshawny
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Triad]
    #5416365 - 03/18/06 03:56 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

That's my one good idea this month, enjoy  :epenis:


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Offlineeris
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416367 - 03/18/06 03:57 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

It's rare to see anyone other than a beggar or something coming to my door.. this place is ghetto.

I've had some come over before, but I've never let them in or anything.


--------------------
Immortal / Temporarily Retired
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InvisibleLiz
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416371 - 03/18/06 03:58 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Ask him very politely if he'd like you to reheat some of the pig that you slaughtered last night for him, if he hasn't had dinner yet. Then look at your watch and exclaim "Oh it's almost ____, the rest of the satanists should be here soon!!"


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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InvisibleSilversoul
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416377 - 03/18/06 03:59 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

You and Kevin should invite him to smoke a bowl with you.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Silversoul]
    #5416400 - 03/18/06 04:07 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

God, he's STILL going on!  This is getting silly that Kevin doesn't just say, "Well, it's been a nice discussion but..."  It's been about an hour since I walked in the door for work and I'm getting pissy. 

I'd take Paradigm's suggestion, except we have no pot in the house. 

I am about to go pass out on the bed and sleep until tomorrow.  Kevin hates it when I do that, but tough shit.  He shouldn't waste our night talking to a religious person.  Grr.  I hope he's getting something out of it, if that's what he wants.  :rolleyes:

I'm getting rude.  How much can you discuss the main points of a single religion without stabbing yourself through the ears?  :mad:


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Invisiblespud
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: spud]
    #5416407 - 03/18/06 04:09 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

The Shroomerite Formerly Known As Spud said:
You should ask him why the Jehovah's Witnesses have been employing policies that make the reporting of child molestation difficult.




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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416408 - 03/18/06 04:09 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Kevin just asked about psychedelics.

Finally, there is SILENCE.


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InvisibleLiz
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416412 - 03/18/06 04:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

No need to get pissy :smile:

Go downstairs, ask Kevin if you can speak with him in the other room for a minute, and politely ask him to wrap up the conversation so you guys can do something.  :heart:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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Invisiblespud
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416414 - 03/18/06 04:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
How much can you discuss the main points of a single religion without stabbing yourself through the ears?  :mad:




A long, long, long time. I have what seems like countless texts concerning Gnosticism, which is far more esoteric than Jehovah's Witnesses.


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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416422 - 03/18/06 04:13 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Start laughing everytime they say "God"

Or

Pretend to call the police and tearfully confess to the murder of the last Jehovah's Witnesses that came in your house.


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Offlineeris
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416431 - 03/18/06 04:15 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe if you asked him to register here and say hi to us he'd go :lol:

Tell him OTD wants to say hello.


--------------------
Immortal / Temporarily Retired
The OG Thread Killer
My mushroom hunting gallery


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416435 - 03/18/06 04:17 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

i go get the Bible out of my room and ask if they wanna smoke a joint
with me.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: spud]
    #5416437 - 03/18/06 04:17 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe it's the guy's delivery that throws me off.    :rolleyes:

Liz - thank you for interjecting your common sense! I am just scared to go down there or say anything to distinguish my presence.  Don't ask why...I'm not sure, just have that freaked out "must stay hidden" feeling that rabbits must get when they're stuck in a hole with wolves prawling outside.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416443 - 03/18/06 04:18 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Okay, I got brave, took Liz's advice and now the guy is leaving.


Phew.


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InvisibleTheHateCamel
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: eris]
    #5416445 - 03/18/06 04:19 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Ask him what the fuck "the glory of god" is for me.


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InvisibleTheHateCamel
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416447 - 03/18/06 04:19 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

In 1919 Jesus chose Jehovah's Witnesses as the only true religion on earth.


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OfflineTattoo
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #5416451 - 03/18/06 04:20 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Most jehovah's witnesses I met were pretty nice, sold a car to a couple once-

theres always the off chance you'll get visited by Prince too


--------------------
:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:


Edited by Tattoo (03/18/06 04:21 PM)


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #5416452 - 03/18/06 04:20 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Find your own door-to-door religious salesman.  :tongue2:


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OfflineDICK
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416517 - 03/18/06 04:46 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

ha my parents are jehovah's witness and no they dont believe in 'hell' so i doubt it was jw's that condemned stoner guy... next time if they come all you have to say is youre busy... theyll insist on coming on a later day and time but if you politely tell them you are just not interested at all theyll let it be and even note it down so theyll never visit you again ever... period


Edited by DICK (03/18/06 04:49 PM)


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OfflineDICK
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #5416533 - 03/18/06 04:52 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

MushmanTheManic said:
Start laughing everytime they say "God"

Or

Pretend to call the police and tearfully confess to the murder of the last Jehovah's Witnesses that came in your house.


:rofl:


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InvisibleLiz
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416536 - 03/18/06 04:53 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
Okay, I got brave, took Liz's advice and now the guy is leaving. 


Phew.




:thumbup:  Good Job!

But now that you made Kevin kick his friend out, you need to get off the Shroomery and spend time with him :lol:

:heart:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: DICK]
    #5416541 - 03/18/06 04:55 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Ask him how he can be a Jehovah's Witness if he has never seen Jahovah. And ask him if god was asked how much would could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood x5 divided by 0.666


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5416559 - 03/18/06 05:00 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

i knew two Jehovah's Witness girls in my high school.

they both got homeschooled after their 10th grade year
and that weirded me out.


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Offlineblackroselove
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: DICK]
    #5416567 - 03/18/06 05:01 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Some one needs to tell that to the ones here.


BlackieRL:flaming:


--------------------
BlackieRL:flaming:
BRL:flaming:


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OfflineDICK
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #5416571 - 03/18/06 05:03 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

ha strict parents will usually do that to 'protect' their children... they did that to me but i never comformed which led to a war at home... its pretty much still going on since they dont accept my many form of entertainments... but im also 19 and its time to move out

oh, when i joined the marines... wow was that a blow to their face


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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: DICK]
    #5416582 - 03/18/06 05:06 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

:thumbup: to not conforming.


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OfflineSleepAid
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #5416808 - 03/18/06 06:42 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

When they come to my house, I offer them coffee or a beer.

(or is it the mormons who can't drink caffine/alchohol?)


--------------------
Signature this, ho


Edited by SleepAid (03/18/06 06:42 PM)


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OfflineOneWhoHasSeen
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #5416823 - 03/18/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Heh, this guy was actually really nice. I invited him in because frankly, I was curious if Jehovah's Witnesses were the same as all other Christians.

I was very pleasantly surprised by the answers he gave. He said they were politically neutral (with a live and let live attitude), they believe in actually researching older versions of the bible (rather then just believing in King James), and most surprising of all is that he said that there was no hell (a belief I share).

Overall, the experience was a good one and I walked away knowing more then when I started, what else could anyone ask for?


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A Temporal Anomaly


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OfflineTattoo
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: SleepAid]
    #5416824 - 03/18/06 06:49 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Can jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself cannot eat it


--------------------
:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:


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OfflineJfisher
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: Tattoo]
    #5416852 - 03/18/06 06:56 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

No, there's no superheated burrito that jesus can't cool with god's icy breath... but he can't fucking stand mexican rice.


--------------------
Any information written above is purely fictional.
Any images do not belong to the owner of this account.


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InvisibleRoadkillM
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Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5417423 - 03/18/06 10:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

the last Jehovah's Witness that came to my door was interesting.

she was telling me how she couldn't die and would live in her body forever.

I told her I'd be right back...I was going to get my gun to prove her wrong.

I shut the door and peeked outside.

She was running up the street as fast as she could.

I ran out after her yelling..."So much for your FAITH bitch!~"

hehehe



that was about 8 years ago...

and they haven't been back since.

I think they have my house on the don't contact list!~

roflmao


worked for me!~


tc


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5417452 - 03/18/06 10:29 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I wonder if atheists should go door to door, holding a high school science book, asking if "you'd like to talk for a little bit about atheism?"


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5417468 - 03/18/06 10:39 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I talk to anyone.


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InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: DNKYD]
    #5417530 - 03/18/06 11:05 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DNKYD said:
I wonder if atheists should go door to door, holding a high school science book, asking if "you'd like to talk for a little bit about atheism?"



I'm surprised you don't see this already. There's certainly plenty of atheists who are self-righteous enough to do this. I think the problem is that they lack the dedication for evangelism.


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Invisiblesui
I love you.
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: MOTH]
    #5417881 - 03/19/06 02:09 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

aside from mormanism that is the most freakin repressed religion ive ever seen.


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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OfflineOneWhoHasSeen
Temporal Anomaly
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Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 301
Loc: Everywhere and Nowhere
Last seen: 11 years, 7 days
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: DNKYD]
    #5418398 - 03/19/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I think there is misguided people in each religion.

Quote:

DNKYD said:
I wonder if atheists should go door to door, holding a high school science book, asking if "you'd like to talk for a little bit about atheism?"




:rofl:


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OfflineEconomist
in training
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 1,285
Last seen: 16 years, 5 months
Re: There's a Jehovah's Witness in my living room right now [Re: barfightlard]
    #5418479 - 03/19/06 11:20 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

bellylard said:
Ask him how he can be a Jehovah's Witness if he has never seen Jahovah. And ask him if god was asked how much would could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood x5 divided by 0.666




You guys have the wrong idea.

The most fun thing to do to a Jehovah's Witness is to beat them at their own game.

Ask them about drugs, they will then tell you that Jehovah's Witnesses abstain from drugs (with the notable exception of alcohol) over concerns of cleanliness, mental slavery, and harm to your body.

Then calmly tell them you find this odd because in Mark 7:18, Jesus specifically states that nothing which enters your body from the outside can ever defile you (or make you ritually unclean, depending on translation) and that true defilement can only ever come from within.

This will probably be followed by some kind of stunned silence

That's usually a good time to tell them that you're uncomfortable accepting religious advice from someone who clearly isn't as familiar with the bible as they could be. They might protest at this point, but you can remind them that modesty and piety, are virtues above all others, and not to sing the praises of their own "biblical knowledge".

With any luck at all, you've shaken their own faith, and the Jehovah's Witness can begin his/her personal road to healing.


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