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Kalakafankala
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Registered: 03/16/06
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Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Special conscionses, big fears
#5407188 - 03/16/06 06:47 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have just read a post from a week a go or so from a person that asked for help because he was in a very strange state of mind with a difficulty or total inability to let his body fully operate subconsciosly. He felt a lot of fear and was probably worrying of how he could get out of such a situation wishing to come back to a state of mind he had before the heavy drugs that he took. When I read his post for help, I can imagine how he must have felt or still feel. Since a couple of years I have a very expanded conscious as I would call it myself, it is so strange to be looking out of my eyes. It is so weird to think. Thinking,... where are my thoughts.. my consciounce... whatever these are just clues I am giving and people who might think to understand what kind of person I am can respond to this post. I had many times when I was completely sober.
FOr 2 weeks I was sober and on a vacation on Greece. I was just sitting thinking about things when suddenly my consciounce expanded. I just felt the weirds thing, looking out of my eyes... experiencing life in a way that everything just seems so weird... I thought if everyone around me is just living their lives as if there isnt nothign so strange.. am i then alone? it could be possible that I am the only real thing the other people are not thinking beings like me.. but then again I dont really believe in that.. whenever I get these strange states of mind I can experience heavy difficulties with breathing coz I cant do it subconscioncely I have to do it all myself,.. I can feel as If I just ran ten miles and cant catch my breat hwhatevr I do.. my heart can also beat very crazy out of control and I can experience cramps all around.. I even called ambulances a few times when this was all still relativly new to me and couldnt handle it and wasnt sure if I would die.. and thins like this can happen when Im sober but more often whenIm stoned...
THeres a lot to talk about.. I took only a few times shrroomz in the past and same with xtc and herbal dmt once ... and some other druggiebuggies... but I quit this after an incident I had after smoking a bag of weed I felt suddenly a stinging in my chess.. but not like the type of smokers sting if you know what I mean.. a very deep and emotional sting... whihc cause your hard to beat so fast and shiver like am d man sometimes... I thoought I had a heartattack.. couldnt breath easily had to control my breath myself calle d ambulance.. said nothing is wrong... called it a panic attack whihc it proably is... since that incident I experience mild forms of 'panic attacks' whenevr I run up stairs or do some exercise I think my heart cant take it or something :S which doctors say is bullshit and they probably speak true... this was the physical side of it... but like Isaid the mental side the thing with the very strnage consciounce.. kinda like being locked within my body looking oout of my eyes as if lookig out of a box... where is my thought?? its so strange to be who I am.. but when I get into these kinda of deep thoughts and state of conscious they can result into a panic attack to... it seeems the panic attack itself makes the conscionce grow even more.. like I said this can happen even when Im totally sober... but is more likely to happen when Im stoned or strunk.. these mental/panic attacks thingies... they can be absolutely insane and I can imagine also what the guy felt when he posted for help... if he would read this he may know he is not alone... and the best thing is to look for a friend in real life which is kinda like you and taht way you will feel more comforatble and loose fear..
what I said here is just some things I have.. but I can experience the weirdest conscionces and thoughts and feelings even when Im sober..
is anyone like me.. or kinda thinks he knows what I mean...?
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5407601 - 03/16/06 10:10 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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yeah I understand
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ChefMushroom
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5407685 - 03/16/06 10:38 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Your conscious mind has been linked to your unconscious mind without any "conscious" training (ie. meditation)
Alot of people take these mind altering drugs and do not realize that they are just forcing their minds into situations that they obviously do not know how to handle.
It is better if one can achieve states outside of chemically induced/forced states first so one knows more of certain operations; possibly never needing again a chemically induced state. But I suppose one could argue had they not experienced the "pseudo-state" nothing would have encouraged them to explore further.
JMHO.
~mushrooms are great in culinary dishes~
Edited by ChefMushroom (03/16/06 10:52 AM)
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: ChefMushroom]
#5407691 - 03/16/06 10:40 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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nope you dont understand me then sorry sir
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ChefMushroom
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5407761 - 03/16/06 10:59 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kalakafankala said: nope you dont understand me then sorry sir
Oh no need to be sorry. It was just my opinion... sorry you didn't (or want) to comprehend.
Peace
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supersapien
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Registered: 01/22/05
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Loc: US Ohio
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: ChefMushroom]
#5411573 - 03/17/06 07:28 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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These are the untold consequences of psychedelic usage. And no one ever believes it'll happen to them, but it does change you and the way you perceive things. It's just up to you as to whether you see it as a blessing and a curse.
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: supersapien]
#5414860 - 03/18/06 12:09 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Weird he? To have emotions.. like.... em.... hard to explain myself... thats why its hard for people to understand... a good example would be: its like you wont understand how it is to be on heroin untill you take it and then you can talk about it with another heroin user...
still maybe someone? who is like me..
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demon2091tb
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5414981 - 03/18/06 01:17 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've had the exact same feeling sometime, i've only tripped 2x, and not large amounts of mushi. But i find its that you loose who you are for a split second, and your ego is nowhere to be found. Its called depersonalization, its a psychological disorder normally, but its only a disorder if it happens like 3x a day or something rediculious like that. Just every now and then is normal, i've had it happen, and i really enjoy the state of mind, very peacefull and surreal, and everything around you just seems to be fake, like its a break from yourself and your everyday consciousness. Its a strange feeling.
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: demon2091tb]
#5485452 - 04/06/06 04:46 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hm.. Interesting.. Depersonalization. I do not quite feel comfortable yet to assume that this is what I have but the way you describe it it could be so. To give more material for people to be able to compare themselves I will say the following. This special conscionse does not require drugs to be iniated. But after smoking weed it is easier and very likely for it to appear. It may sometimes trigger panic attacks and if it does the conscionse ussually seems to get a great boost from all the energy from this panic attack. This ussualy causing this conscionse to so to speak 'expand' even more causing you to realise and sense more things which, like in a black circle, can make you panic more and this way you can really end up with a super consionse trough which you can see, think about , and feel new things. One could say that this super consionse allows you to so to speak 'analyze' your mind/life feelings thoughts etc. .A could analogy to this would be a doctor disecting and analyzing the insides of a human body. I can give an example of the latter of myself. I was once walking trough the streets at night very stoned when my conscionce started to expand. I suddenly concentrated on my sense of direction at the same moment I lost my sense of direction and the nregained it again. In the meanwhile I thought about how there is a part in your brain which controls this sense of direction and I was just thinking about how the same image of the streets and buildings was different with and withouth this sense of direction. I'm sure pretty much all of us had lost his sense of direction in a familiar street but the difference is that with this special consionce the feeling is much stronger and perceived in a totally new way which is hard to explain. ANyway from then on I started to sort of disect m mind into all its components of which sense of direction was just one and I could really see and feel my mind and what it existed off and then thinking about how there is a part of my brain for each of this components. While I was doing this I was in a situation which could be what the guy above me posted called 'depersonalisation' but then again im not sure if this is what it was. ANyway after a while I started to realise more and more things and one of them was about my vision. YOUr eyes see whats in front of you I was thinking. ANd your brain combines this to relatively circular visions into one vision that you have. BUt I was thikning about my vision and realised more about and then it came I really felt and perceived my vision in an new way.. very hard to explain.. At one point every time I moved my eyes It felt so strange as my vison chanegd aswell.. I felt like an alien...
at the same time I somehow felt like the background feeling I had was similar to a shroom trip and I thought there could be a connection there. I got into a panic attack and ended up in a very big conscionse and my friend kept talking about drugs and things which at that moment really made me more crazy and increases my panic so I just suddenly out of the heavy emotions that I had almost yelled out to him SHUT THE FUCK UP. It must have been so unexpected for him coz he probably couldnt see on the outside what was happening to me on the inside. I could have easily looked very normal to him and I all that I told him is that we have to take a cab coz I feel shitty. Anyway right after I realised the situation of me suddenly telling him to shut the fuck up and how it must have lookf from a third persons view. and I fouond it hilarious and laughed. WHen I was in the taxi I felt so strange that I asked the driver to hand me a paper and I wrote down:" I feel so strange' as a reminder to myself in the future that I felt so crazy that I actually had to write it down so I woudl remember. Thats another thing about these 'conscionse trips'and anxiouty attacks associated with them. It is possible no matter how excited and anxious you feel or how amazingly semi-'your gonna die' feeling you have to suddenly crack up about things , probly partially of the weed you just smoked which still affects you in that way but possibly also when you didnt take no drugs. It is most common that I have this kinda of conscionce expansions on a much lower level but on a daily basis and these ussualy are not associated with panic/anxiety attack and like the guy above wrote this thing can also be experienced in a very normal way or in harmony with good emotions.. So on a daily basis it does not form a problem for me.. And I could not even call these superconscionces a problem because in a way I feel priviliged to be able to see things in such a special way which might come to use for me in the future. I would be a very good feature for philosophers or psychologists to have. NEvertheless it does create extreme situations in life and it would be nice to know if someone else also gets these things. Then one more thing. When your not in suc ha superconscionse you dont remember the extremity of such a situation so you can kinda talk about it but you don not realise how extreme it acutally is unless your in it again. ANd then when your in it you say to yourself.. god this is so extreme now I know again how serious this actually is. IT is basically probably impossible to imagine it but if you had it yourself, then you could read my posts and maybe think: ' hey this is something like I have'. ANyone? ANy comments will be appreciated..
P.S. The anxiouty attacks and nervosity problems which I have in some sitautaions seem to greatly interact and influence super consionce trips and can also trigger them. BUt I have situations wherein lets say sports I can barely breath and feel likem y hards beating ridiculously hard and migth get a heart attack. ANd then this could triiger a panic attacj in which my heart beat would be afected by it aswell causing a black cicle... ANd then akmost on a daily bases I have this kinda anxiouty attack which could be triggered by the smallest mental or physical stress situations.. where Ihave a heart time breathing and feel strange in my chest.. i get very conscionse about my breathing and my heart.. feeling like im out of balance and my heart could be introuble (even though in the back of my mind I say to myself this is psychological and therefore I ussually dont get winded up too much about it anymore like I used to). Weed can increase the intensity of these anxiety atacks.
Edited by Kalakafankala (04/06/06 05:27 AM)
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krin
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5485523 - 04/06/06 06:19 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I believe I've shared the same boat as you. It first began one night when i dropped 4 hits of acid and felt fucked up mentally from it. Over the preceeding months my mind was in a great fluctuation,and my imagination was absolutely rampant,I was obsessed with solving the paterns and equations of the universe. Firstly seeing humans for what they really are,animals,on a constant daily basis was difficult to handle. I could see thier behaviour routines,how the contents of any given persons mind at any given time is limited,or in a sense,they can only create new ideas and thoughts based on a archive of previously stored data,then recombining this data in new ways to deal with the present situation. So I focused on how to be able to create new mental data as quickly and efficiently and expansively as possible. It requires a non-symbolic,non-lingual,geometric,surreal "understanding",a sort of dimensionaltiy sense within your mind,to understand things beyond thier common descriptive terms and what you think they are,but observing thier movement,structure,energy output,varying frequencies,and tryign to pinpoint from what earlier structures they evolved from (evolution applies to all things,non-organic and organic) I started to be in tripped out states of mind all day,i saw reality in these strange metaphysical layers that were all vibrating together,exchanging energy and rhythm like a big psychedelic symphony. How there are no true boundaries to anything,and symbolic definitions,although convenient and real within the symbolic network,are misleading when considering the true essence of existance. I would study my own conscious state,and observe how your focus shifts in and out of external/internal attention events rapidly,whilst keeping secondary focus elements in the background.( and tertiary focuses beyond that,which are more subconscious and in a "sleeper" state) Example:While you are reading these words,your secondary focus might be some music you have on,then if you realize that statement,your focus shifts to cognitive recognition about the statement,and the secondary might be reading these lines,and so forth. I could sense these different interactive layers. I also began deconstructing importance values,how and why you judge anything the way you do,and why others judge it such. Alot of this is concerning primate evolution and inter-social structures.Positive reinforcing experiences and negative reinforcements. So many factors are involved in what makes you think about the things you think. I cannot possibly concieve how Free Will exists,when you see the greater sequences you understand how there is no real control,your more like a strange equation that is crashing into the future with no choice. I could go on forever,but yes my mind felt like it was expanded. It wasnt really that comfortable at all,I struggled through alot of tripped out states and issues,only had 1 panic attack though,and came close whilst on pot a few times,but thats in my past pretty much (hopefully). There is no advice that could possibly be given,because the frequency which your mind is at could be anywhere,millions of variables to consider,if your going to find peace of mind it has to come out of an even greater expansion,or at least thats my view,expansions can go any which way,its a wierd fucking dimension out/in there urgelflo blakeh groiif aahaha
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fazdazzle
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: krin]
#5485749 - 04/06/06 09:01 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I can't really be sure that I've felt the exact same thing but I think it's similar. One of my friends whom I talk philosophy and all that awesome deep stuff with and I both agree that it gets pretty interesting when you think waaay deep...I always know when to stop because I can feel the panic sort of coming on. It's a slippery slope that damn philosophy. Luckily I know where the last branch that is that I can grab on to so I don't fall down the f-ing cliff.
But it has happened often where I'd start thinking about stuff or whatever and I would feel a very real shift in my body and mind. It would feel like I am spinning, but I know I'm not, obviously...and things seem fake, people seem like robots, etc. It's hard to describe.
I have come to the conclusion my "rapid heartbeat" is my heart chakra. It's always been hard for me to tell if my heart is actually beating fast or not when I'm uber-stoned, but I usually came to he conclusion it wasn't, but it felt like it was. The other reason is that I have felt my heart chakra without chemicals and it was very similar.
This happens A LOT the day after I drink heavily. I've wondered if I was going insane a few times. One night I thought I was seriously going to melt through...melt through what? where to? I'm not sure, but I felt like there was a layer I was going to surpass and leave this physical plane of existence.
hope that helps
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shroomnewb2
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: fazdazzle]
#5485925 - 04/06/06 09:50 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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How old are you and what amounts of each kind of drug have you done
because some of the questions and thoughts you have are probally more related to age than the drugs you have done
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: shroomnewb2]
#5486159 - 04/06/06 11:04 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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okay dig this.
Perma-fried vs enlightened? What's the difference?
Mushrooms evoke changes and evolutions in the way your consciousness functions. The scientist who takes them sees that he is going crazy. The mystic who takes them sees that he is experiecing higher conscoiusness..... the normal joe that takes them sees that he's having a neat time.
But they ALL produce the "same" results.... so dude, you have changed yourself, now... it's entirely up to you whether it's good or bad.
I will tell you that your higher chakras have been opened, and it sounds like you are connected to mental realms, rather than the physical...... I will tell you that it is easily adjustable, but once you have changed your consciousness you may never go back to how you used to be, rather, you may be able to feel concretely grounded to reality, but instead of just being "normal" this grounding may produce some own quirky psychedelic notions in and of itself, as you notice much about the physical world you previously would have been unable to notice.
Chi.
Chakras.
Energy.
I highly recommend researching chakras, they give an easy to use system that explains different states of consciousness, disorders, psychic phenomenon, etc. Psychedelics tend to open the upper chakras, third eye, etc..... at the consequence of not properly developing the lower chakras, which relate to day to day living. http://www.eclecticenergies.com/ simple website root - survival. connection. earth. physical reality. solid. passive. sacral- emotions, feeling, change, connection to humans through sexuality, exchange. water. passive. constant movement. uniting of dualities. yin/yang solar plexus - will power, happiness, health, vitality, fire, transformation heart - love. peace. the beginning of arising to psychic awareness. -------------- the throat, third eye and crown are much more mental and responsible for hallucinatory experiences
There are SYSTEMS out there designed specifically to heal your problems and bring you into higher states of consciousness naturally, and they work, even with just the tiniest bit of hope that they will work, and the ability to be dilligent they will pay off. these systems include yoga, tai chi, qi gong, chi kung, meditation, acupuncture (by someone who knows what he's doing!) reiki, shamanic drumming (seems to root you in the earth, i don't know about it officially but have tried to discover it on my own by drumming on my body).
I can't recommend yoga and tai chi enough...... they take a while, but if you go and find some good teachers and explain your problems to them they can recommend you some exercises to help you ground.
The thing is, grounding, is kind of trippy too..... like for example in a normal tai chi standing position if you bounce up and down and focus on the root chakra/genitals trying to get energy to circulate through them, suddenly your legs may be very heavy as you feel extremely earthly, huge, and strong.......
so... I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.
I'm saying you cannot go back, but where you are now becomes normal, and the things that bother you will STOP, 100% assuredly, if you give them time. Cultivate spirituality, it's all you can do. No one can really tell you what to believe, but systems like yoga and tai chi are designed to faciliate direct access to mystical states of transcendence in addition to being healthy for you. They work. Now how or why they work, whether you want to believe in chi, or chakras, or taoism, or hinduism... or whether you just see it as encouraging the body to release chemicals..... who knows.
but it works man.
the only other thing to say is, having to consciously breathe.... this says to me that you need to take up some sort of meditative practice..... i recommend when you start falling asleep at night to breathe in and out really really deeply, then just pay direct attention to your breath as long as you can til you fall asleep, letting it be normal.
it will help align some things and is good for teaching you to not worry about your breath, and to leave it be.
it's said when you are proficient enough with tai chi, you are never UNWARE of breathing, ever... no matter what you do. this is a good thing. it signifies ego-loss.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (04/06/06 11:06 AM)
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Wronguy
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5486506 - 04/06/06 01:07 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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This sounds like a clear case of anxiety/panic disorder. This is very typically during high doses of mushrooms or LSD when the experience changes the baseline setting of your amygdala, the organ of the brain responsible for controlling emotions. I am currently suffering from anxiety/panic disorder because of a very intense experience on a very high dose of mushrooms.
I am slowly overcoming this through the help of a system that I discovered on the internet that does not involve drugs, herbs, or therapy. Before I even give out the information, let me qualify this by saying I am not a spammer, nor do I like spammers. I want to give you a website that offers a scientific method of curing anxiety/panic disorders. This is not a scam or bullshit. I have just started to use this method and have completely eliminated my panic attacks over the last 3 days. I still have a bit of anxiety to overcome, but at least I'm not having full blown panic attacks.
The method I'm referring to is the Linden Method. If anything, read the information and take it for what it's worth. If you are very interested in this method, let me be the first to say it works! The purpose of the reply is to help other anxiety sufferers, not to sell anything. I don't know who these people are and get nothing out of this. Just trying to help out my fellow members and anxiety sufferers.
Regardless of what you decide to do, good luck.
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Wronguy]
#5493408 - 04/08/06 03:22 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I really enjoyed reading your post krin. Interesting stuff. A lot of these thoughts seemed like they could have been own. You seem like you could be a great philosopher. What do you do in your life? Do you perhaps study in a university or do any other things where you could use such a powerful mind? Shrika bung bingus shika! ehehe
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Kalakafankala
Stranger
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5493489 - 04/08/06 03:46 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Cool I just realised there is a second page full of very nice posts. Nice to see people telling their own strange mental experiences. I can very much relate to them. I myself have worries about my heart a lot. I wasin situations when I was stoned and got a panic attack and my heart started beating fast and at one point I felt a very extreme sting at my heart andmy heart was beating faster and faster and at one pointI thought it was almost vibrating altough that was ofcourse my imagination freaking the shit out of me but when I tried to feel my pulse I couldnt feel a distinct beat and I still thought it could be vibrating and my imagination really made me belive there could be something really bad. I even called an amublance at that point believing that this could be the end for me and saying goodbye to the world in my thoughts. THe ambulance came they checked my heart beat andblood pressure and said it was allright and that It was just because of stress. I had many situations similar to this (this being one of the worse of them) and I quit smoking weed and drugs totaly for over a year and still got this kind of situations. Also I had a long period of time in which I worried evryday about my heart and especially before falling asleep as it would also occasionally beat in an arythmic way were there would be an occasional very hard heartbeat which I could feel and would take my breath away a bit. Nowadays these situations of me feeling and worrying about my heartbeat are less probably because I concentrate less on it and if it happens that I get an arythmic heartbeat I do not panic as much as I used to probably because I got used to it and visited psychologits and doctors who all said I have nothing to worry about and that it is because of stress. Nowadays I smoke some weed (ussualy not taking to much of each joint) every week even though it ussualy makes me feel uneasy, but still it gives me a strange kinda high, not the kind of high that I used to get before I start getting all these problems where I could feel really happy and relaxed ..
But still my anxiouties worries and panics problems do sometimes happen again in stressul situations, also if I do exercise I get very tired and out breath very fast someimtes and also get anxiouty and I worry about my heart beating to hard and my breathing is messed up. I see hope to solving these problems after reading your posts. Thanks for the recommendations wronguy and leery! I will certainly read about it and make use of it. Thanks again guys!
Edited by Kalakafankala (04/08/06 03:58 PM)
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so_me_tuo
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Registered: 02/03/06
Posts: 90
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5494351 - 04/08/06 07:50 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I feel like as being a human the goal is to be completly concoius of everything not to be unconcious. I know it can be frightening if you dont want it but its not bad. deperzonalization dont you all understand we are one human just diffrent physical forms. if everyone were depersonalized to some extent and not so trapt in themselves then we wouldnt have so many problems and there wouldnt be greed. the only fear is you have is the truth
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Kalakafankala
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: so_me_tuo]
#5498075 - 04/09/06 09:14 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.


Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: Special conscionses, big fears [Re: Kalakafankala]
#5520300 - 04/16/06 06:22 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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yeah i get the same thing too, both the desire to not let my subconscious do anything with my body and the "expanded consciousness attacks"
i've been ignoring both as best as possible for about 2 years no. if you ignore it it'll go away within a couple seconds-minute.
for me its too abrupt and unnatural to be of any use, so i ignore it into oblivion.
-------------------- You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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