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Offlinetheuser
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A few Mormon Facts...
    #5398858 - 03/14/06 11:58 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

5 Heavens and God Powers!
Mormons believe that there are 5 heavens and if you live your life right, like Jesus, you can actually become a god with your own world to manage.

Cash is King
If you do not donate 10% of your gross income, yes they actually inform you that it must be gross, you can not get into 5th heaven.

Mormon Temple Weddings
If both people go for 1 year or longer with out breaking the rules you can then get a "temple recommend" which lets you obtain super secret access to their mystical temples.

One of the things you can do at a temple, other than pray for the souls of people who died outside of the Mormon religion so they can get out of limbo, is marriage.

In Mormon temple marriage ceremony you receive your secret heaven name. You use this so when you die you can find your partner on the other side with that secret true "soul name". What very few Mormons ever know is that these names are randomly chosen by Mormons temple works by praying over a Bible, opening the Bible to a random page and looking at the 1st name that matches the sex. That is your secret soul name.

Also after you get married you both MUST wear these "garments" at ALL TIMES. If you do not you can not get into 5th heaven.

http://nowscape.com/mormon/undrwrmo.htm

Secret Hand Shakes!
When you are in the temple you get to do secret handshakes.
http://nowscape.com/mormon/mormcr1b.htm#Handshake_pics


Oh and by me telling you this publicly, in the eyes of the Mormons I can never get into 5th heaven.


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:heart:


Edited by theolduser (03/14/06 01:54 PM)


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: theuser]
    #5398897 - 03/14/06 12:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

eh... they already got 7th heaven on DVD. 5th heaven is just so.... overrated.


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5398902 - 03/14/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

psilocyberin said:
eh... they already got 7th heaven on DVD. 5th heaven is just so.... overrated.




:lol:


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:heart:


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OfflinerDr4g0n
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: theuser]
    #5399155 - 03/14/06 01:18 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

thats cool stuff. im not mormon, but i like reading about religions that have this mystical quality to it. i guess its from all teh rpgs i play.


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: rDr4g0n]
    #5399292 - 03/14/06 01:54 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)



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OfflineRonoS
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: theuser]
    #5399294 - 03/14/06 01:55 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Tell me more about Mormon Girls...I've heard nothing but good things about them.  :wink:


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"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: Rono]
    #5399304 - 03/14/06 01:57 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Rono said:
Tell me more about Mormon Girls...I've heard nothing but good things about them.  :wink:




Well they are so sexually repressed that when they get older and out of the house they are wild cats, they do it all. :wink:

Some however can be completely non-sexual. These usualy are people who stick close to the church and later will become missionaries.




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:heart:


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Invisibleroby000
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... *DELETED* [Re: Rono]
    #5399312 - 03/14/06 02:01 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by roby000

Reason for deletion: s


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OfflineTheCow
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: roby000]
    #5399346 - 03/14/06 02:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I had a mormon friend, he stopped talking to me a few years ago for some reason, I think hes married now. When we were kids we would watch R rated movies at my house, I showed him porn, I even had him doubting his religion for a while. Its not as if I forced these things on him, the guy wanted to see porn, and we would openly disucss the silliness of religions. But then at some point when we were in about 11th grade he stopped talking to me, I guess he came to the realization I was a bad influence or something, or his mom convinced him, whatever it was it was very silly to me. To think that something clearly bullshit, such as his religion, could keep two friends apart.


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: roby000]
    #5399531 - 03/14/06 03:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

roby000 said:
what if you just went to the temple? what could they do? shoot you? or would you be struck by lightning from the 5th heaven.
is there no mormon hell?
if i had my own planet it would be like necron or whatever that thing from the transformers movie was called, the big planet that eats other planets.... ya know?

what about the rules about them not being able to watch r rated movies?




Yes, caffine, rated r movies, swear words...

My world would have Jedi's.


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OfflineGrok
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: theuser]
    #5401293 - 03/14/06 10:06 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Heh a lot of my family is mormon. Such a backwards religion. Anyone with even remote interest in their religion should read "Under the Banner of Heaven" by John Krakaur - a very good read (like most of his books).

You wouldn't even belive some of the things that come from their religion. For example, check this out, a Mormon guide to overcome masturbation -

http://www.moonmac.com/Mormon_masturbation.html


--------------------
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InvisibleMystikMushroom
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: rDr4g0n]
    #5401358 - 03/14/06 10:21 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

rDr4g0n said:
thats cool stuff. im not mormon, but i like reading about religions that have this mystical quality to it. i guess its from all teh rpgs i play.




:shake:

It's not "mystical"-- it's science fiction.

Oh, we call em' "Mo-Mo's" around here.

I live in a very, very densly mormon-populated area. We have a mormon temple in my community. Many people I know are mormon (god save them  :heart:).

If they choose mormonism, oh well it's not my cup-o-tea.

I say let em' do their thing, as long as they let me do mine (like smoking up down the street from their temple in my car):tongue2:

For the most part the ones *I* keep around as aquaintences are open and keep their beliefs to themselves. The ones I don't get along with are the parents of my friends.

I even know an african-american mormon family. How wierd is that? I thought the black race was the "cursed race"...oh wait, they changed that back in the 70's. I'm sure there is NO residual racism left among the "old guard" in the church. :eyeroll:


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Offlinehot48yearolds
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: MystikMushroom]
    #5401870 - 03/15/06 01:02 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)



--------------------
"Truth is more in the process than in the result."
- J. Krishnamurti




"We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived." Wei Wu Wei


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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: rDr4g0n]
    #5402320 - 03/15/06 07:27 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

rDr4g0n said:
thats cool stuff. im not mormon, but i like reading about religions that have this mystical quality to it. i guess its from all teh rpgs i play.




Ya that part of religion is neat, I haven't noticed it with mormons though. I guess it's kind of mystical how they keep ringing my doorbell though.


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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Offlinetheuser
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: barfightlard]
    #5402667 - 03/15/06 09:29 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)



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OfflinerDr4g0n
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: barfightlard]
    #5403515 - 03/15/06 01:35 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

bellylard said:
Quote:

rDr4g0n said:
thats cool stuff. im not mormon, but i like reading about religions that have this mystical quality to it. i guess its from all teh rpgs i play.




Ya that part of religion is neat, I haven't noticed it with mormons though. I guess it's kind of mystical how they keep ringing my doorbell though.




lol

seriously though, secret temples, levels of heaven, animals of doom. all keys to a really good indiana jones movie.


--------------------
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My first trip (good read) - Speed Leaching Poo! - My Second Trip (with art)


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OfflineArchemetis
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: rDr4g0n]
    #5403952 - 03/15/06 03:02 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

they really only believe in 3 levels of heaven, and their temple wedding ceramonies... they get far more bizarre than you've described.
lets just say there is a holy man involved with his holy fingers whose "obligation" is to "consecrate" the genitals of the bride to be.
its no wonder you cant find many mormons to talk about the temple rituals.


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OfflineTheCow
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: Archemetis]
    #5404221 - 03/15/06 03:52 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Im pretty certain thats false.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: TheCow]
    #5404229 - 03/15/06 03:55 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

and if it isnt, then how can one become a mormon priest?


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InvisibleMystikMushroom
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Re: A few Mormon Facts... [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5404358 - 03/15/06 04:21 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah sign me up to fingerbang some fine, young momo chicks!


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