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OfflineJon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Friends got a problem with drinking and driving
    #5392213 - 03/12/06 03:02 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I dont know quite how to confront him on the subject. As manly and strong he acts, he is one of the most sensitive people to constructive criticism, and also tends to get very defensive due to his new alcohol problem. Everytime he calls me to hang out, theres a fuckin 12 pack in his car and 2 beers on the cup holders. And he makes a habit out of this everyday, and im really really scared hes gonna hurt himself. But even his best friend aint confronting him the right way on this situation, and I dont want him to learn his lesson by getting into a car accident. I really hate hangin out with him now because I feel as if my own life is in danger, and hes a fuckin horrible driver. The only thing on my mind for the moment is the fact that hes being soo stupid, but I have been thinkin this way for too long since his problem started. My neighbor has a completely fucked over life because he got 2 DWI's, but I dont even see my friends future to be in his shitty place, I see him dead. If that were to ever happen, I would be soo damn overwhelmed with guilt. But he has the most addictive, deceptive attitude, his previous cocaine issue almost made me tell his parents, and now he replaced that with alcohol. I dont wanna be one of those people that let people learn from their mistakes, im really afraid he is going to do something really stupid. At the same time, I am very confident he will not take a life changing suggestion lightly, he has some serious mental problems that he really needs to settle out regarding whats right and wrong, and how one should treat others. Dont know what to do.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392231 - 03/12/06 03:07 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Dude be like you drive like a fucking retarded asshole with teretz! Straight forward and to the point. If you dont klill your self your going to kill some id or family or fuck up ur car. Tell him hes being a dickhead tell him hes an asshole. Tell him to stop being a twat.

Wish someone would have told me that shit............


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Offlinederyl
Stranger
Male

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 1,220
Loc: Uncle Tom's
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392239 - 03/12/06 03:11 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I've been in that situation before, and I would have gone for a little constructive criticism. It's very easy to rationalize things when you aren't thinking clearly. I used to drive drunk all the time until I wrecked my car into a lawyer's yard in a nice part of town.

thankfully, the guy didn't sue me and I got away without a DUI (because I left my car in the yard and took off running until the next day).

I never drink and drive now and I do everything I can not to let my friends do it either, but some people just can't take advice. I have a friend, that after getting his first DUI, was pulled over driving drunk on a suspended license. I told him a million times I would come pick him up wherever whenever, but he decided to drive anyway and paid dearly for it.

tell him what's on your mind, It might help even if it does make him angry.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392258 - 03/12/06 03:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Some people just dont give a fuck. I mean some people it takes loosing their friends and loosing their license for ten years to figure it all out.

He probably knows whats up and has a major drinking problem wich is just covering up other problems. He sounds much like my best friend. He doesnt care at all about life. He is to cought up in his head to worry about others. Short storey leave him alone. Let him figure the shit out. Let him wake up and realise one day that he is the answer to his own problems.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #5392282 - 03/12/06 03:29 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

hey dude maybe you should have him smoke some salvia.

it might scare some sense into him.

(this might be bad advice but salvia definitely would give him a picture of how quickly he could slip into death)

the only other thing is to tell his parents about his drunk driving behavior, that isn't safe and cool at all.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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InvisibleKoala Koolio
TTAGGGTTAGGGTTAGGGTTAGGG

Registered: 01/07/04
Posts: 7,752
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: leery11]
    #5392294 - 03/12/06 03:32 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Sit him in the driver seat, no keys, have him smoke insane amounts of salvia by himself, until he doesn't know where he is or how he got there, or maybe even if he is or was driving or not.

Then, run or bike into the front of the car, rolling up to the windshield.

Heh, joking of course. But there's an effective example of psychedelic therapy!


--------------------
You're not like the others. You like the same things I do. Wax paper, boiled football leather... dog breath. We're not hitch-hiking anymore, we're riding!


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OfflineMitchnast
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Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,656
Loc: Okanagan Flag
Last seen: 16 days, 10 hours
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #5392316 - 03/12/06 03:38 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

report his ass.
people who knowingly keep such retards as friends are withought dignity.
And those who enable such people withought deciseive action are guilty of the crime.

the day he overcorrects into a mother walking her infant is two days too late. and on your head being privy to, and in full recognition of the problem.

AND it is a problem. its not becomming one, It's WAY past that.

who are you if not your brothers keeper?
and who, if not you, is?


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OfflineGert
Stranger

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 17
Loc: UK
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392332 - 03/12/06 03:42 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Just be honest with him. Don't be harsh, just explain how your feeling. Tell him that your worried about him, but your also afraid for the people he could possibly hurt. I am very strongly against drinking and driving, it's not only yourself you put in danger when you do it, you could end up killing completely innocent people. Try to get him to think about how he'd be feeling if he did kill someone through drink driving, and how much worse it would be for him then.


--------------------
Regrets are worthless!


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OfflineAkira
CosmicConsciousness
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Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 2,283
Loc: Hay Un Mundo Mas Alla
Last seen: 11 years, 7 days
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Gert]
    #5392352 - 03/12/06 03:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I think that YOU are the one that needs some constructive critism, i mean, getting in a car repeatedly with a person whom you know before hand is drinking and driving.

Sure we can all drive on the influence of alcohol. I doubt that most people who have died in a car crash while driving under the influence had driven while drinking many a times before. This leads to, "Im somehow special and have the power to drink and drive, I'm a veteran." Then one day, while as drunk as you've been behind the wheel numerous of times something very different and new hgappens. your altered perception becomes the direct cause of a fatal accident.

I wont drink and drive ever, and I specially wont trust anyone else more than I would myself to drive while under the influence of alcohol. I rather sleep it off on a bus stop.. :smile:


--------------------

Orissa India Bulk Grow (Tub Tek)
Bulk Steamer Pasteurizer Tek

"Our intention is our eternal fingerprint in the universe."

We know that God is good, and so are hamburgers and hot dogs. We know that hamburgers and hot dogs definitely do exist, so then by deduction of logic God too must also exist. Hamburgers + Hot dogs = God.... Duh


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OfflineJack_Flash
604
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Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 619
Loc: richmond, BC
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Akira]
    #5392366 - 03/12/06 03:58 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

if nothing works, report him.
is it going to take him taking his own life and someone elses?


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OfflineMitchnast
Toadmonger
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Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,656
Loc: Okanagan Flag
Last seen: 16 days, 10 hours
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Gert]
    #5392368 - 03/12/06 03:58 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

i would say killing others is not only possible but probable.
the road is full of travellers, surprises, pedestrians, etc.

and in the middle of it, lacking concern for himself, and the safety of others, and lacking sense of speed, is a drunk driver.

not just a little drunk, but numb from constant alcohol use.
Irrationally reactive to constructive critisism. How would he react to children running into the street? A 4-way stop?
people opening doors after parking?

he is driving on alcohol-powered tunnelvision. ignoring himself and his emotions. buried in a wavy cool stupor.
Invincable.. and if not, who cares?

theres no comming back from where he is. he craves oblivian and is getting ever closer to understanding that. so he is drinking it away.

Im reasonably convinced of this. I do not expect you to want to accept such a darkness in one upon whom you wish only light.

thats why i say consider a way to have him caught. No accident, no injury and death, just get his ass caught.

With that level of self destructivness, the LAST thing he needs is the ability to drive a deadly weapon around the pathways made by and for living people.

He has crossed the line from self-destructive to openly and flagrantly wreckless.

all you need to ask yourself is "Am I going to let him?"

would you allow ANYBODY?


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OfflineJon
Registered: 06/28/03
Posts: 961
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Akira]
    #5392398 - 03/12/06 04:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Well I take constructive criticism well, but this whole idea is quite new to me. It seems as if yesterday we were just kids being kids. I deal with too many adults that dont act like adults, hell I have seen 40yr olds that dont act their age because they got married a little too early. But fuck man, my generations in decline and it gets worse every year. Honestly I dont want to have anything to do with him. Hes been my friend since we were kids, and he grew this nasty unreasonable deceptive attitude. The trust bond between us has been slowly deteriorating, and his thoughtless impulsive attitude really puts a stick up my ass. With all my other previous dumbass friends, I think ill let him shit on himself all he wants. He has great parents, doesnt strike me as the person who lacks discipline, and has no reason to do the things he does (and he has done alot and gotten away with it). If he wants a fuckin DUI he'll get one. Goodbye childhood.


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Offlinederyl
Stranger
Male

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 1,220
Loc: Uncle Tom's
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392433 - 03/12/06 04:22 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

don't write him off just yet.

It's easy too turn a blind eye and that's something alot of people do all to often. Tell him how you feel, if he doesn't listen that his problem, but don't just cut off all association you have with him, especially if you've known him since you were kids.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Jon]
    #5392471 - 03/12/06 04:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah your aiding his deliquncy. Fueling his fire so to speak getting fucked up with him and hanging out.

Kids being kids......... Are you two gonna act like kids for ever?


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Mitchnast]
    #5392516 - 03/12/06 04:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Mitchnast said:

theres no comming back from where he is. he craves oblivian and is getting ever closer to understanding that.




No no no. That's exactly where a psychedelic session should be. Hey man smoke some of this................................
let him spiral into a fragmented self bewildered as to what is happening to him.

Say to him "this is what is going to happen to you if you keep driving drunk, but it won't ever end." tell him to let himself go.

People with self-destructive desires often fail to realize just what it is they are spiraling towards..... a dose of psychedelic often gives them a new found appreciation for the life they ahve been given.

Or so I assume. I have no direct experience. I know LSD = treatment for alcoholism.

Salvia is a great route though because it really seems death like to me.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineMitchnast
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Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,656
Loc: Okanagan Flag
Last seen: 16 days, 10 hours
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: leery11]
    #5392629 - 03/12/06 05:15 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

what you are describing, for all your intention, is brainwashing someone with psychadellic drugs.

Something which cannot be justified.

It's like how galdalf refused the one ring for he would use it out of a desire to do good.

If a friend dosed me on drugs and tried to brainwash me, i would lose all respect for him. which would render his efforts ultimately inneffective and give power to the darkness in me he meant to oppose.

That and I can simply just garentee it won't work.
When people are struggling with their perception of self in reality, a direct assault (Mental a-bomb) against the remaining ties therof is higly inadvisable.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Mitchnast]
    #5392651 - 03/12/06 05:22 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Drugs are not the answer to any real problem only a way of hiding from them. A guy thats unstable with a coke addiction and reckless drinking behaviour does NOT need and more drugs.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Mitchnast]
    #5392711 - 03/12/06 05:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Mitchnast said:
what you are describing, for all your intention, is brainwashing someone with psychadellic drugs.

Something which cannot be justified.

It's like how galdalf refused the one ring for he would use it out of a desire to do good.

If a friend dosed me on drugs and tried to brainwash me, i would lose all respect for him. which would render his efforts ultimately inneffective and give power to the darkness in me he meant to oppose.

That and I can simply just garentee it won't work.
When people are struggling with their perception of self in reality, a direct assault (Mental a-bomb) against the remaining ties therof is higly inadvisable.



you're right man. I'm exagerrating.

But psychedelics have been shown to help people GREATLY with these problems, and that's what I'm saying he should do.

Not that he should literally dose his friend against his will and fuck with his mind.... no absolutely not... that's more joking, sarcasm, hyperbole, etc.

But that he should get his friend to do them so he can gain insight into just where he is heading with his life.

Look at ibogaine, a psychedelic used succesfully to treat drug addiction.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/12/06 05:39 PM)


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: leery11]
    #5392720 - 03/12/06 05:38 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Psychedelics have also been shown to cause severe paranoia and ungodly evil haluciations..................................


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Friends got a problem with drinking and driving [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #5392730 - 03/12/06 05:40 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

That's why its psychedelic psychotherapy.
the hallucinations are necessary to work through in a proper environment if they arise.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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