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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Help me figure out tripping. --- update -- tried to and nothing happened.
    #5378472 - 03/08/06 05:54 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

update: i did the mescaline and barely got effects.
I have this ambivalence in my navel that makes life rather hectic, stressful, anxious, and fearful.

I don't want to go into in depth but I think a small aside is necessary. So let's illustrate sex. I have issues with sex, thinking oh it's immoral and shallow.......... but then the other half of me wants it really badly. So I'm basically repressed where I want to have sex, but I don't want to, and it creates a lot of issues in me.

So the same is true for psychedelics. Signs point to yes, yes I should trip. It will help me build confidence and figure things out.

But this shit in my navel.......... it is really intense and irrational. I think I'm going to hell. I think I'm in hell. I think people are looking at me and think I'm weird. I think a certain band may be either partially enlightened, or evil and messing with peoples heads. Yet I still want to listen to them. Yet I don't.

Etc...... see where it's going?

This navel problem, it keeps me from feeling emotions properly. One time while on either DXM or LSA in combination with a normal 5-htp dose, I felt the barrier break free as happy emotion filled the area then disappeared and subsided.

The last time I tried to do LSA I felt little to nothing. And I just had a small drink and I just feel normal.

I feel like I could do a thumbprint of acid and still feel normal and sober and such. And so...... then this certain band comes to mind..... who has a certain song about sobriety ......... "I will find a center in you, I will chew it up and leave."

I sort of feel that way.

I want to trip, because I want to:
cure any energy issues I have in my entire body
resolve psychological problems
have an amazing time
experience something i have never experienced before.

But part of the psychedelic experience entails LETTING GO.... and if my navel doesn't let me voluntarily let go............. it means I'm going to be CONSUMED until this stuff just dissolves away, like the trip would be a fight rather than an ecstatic roller coaster ride where I surrender to fear and enjoy the huge drop and am like "hell yes this kicks ass."

So....................

I want to do 60g mescaline. I want high quality visuals but I still want to feel that I am anchored in reality and that I am not going anywhere.... I want to be able to close my eyes and go into fantasy worlds, if I want to. And if I don't want to I want the option to be there for if I feel comfortable, but not to feel that I'm being sucked into other realms beyond my will.

I want sort of a clarity in terms of the mental content (i.e. not feeling like all hallucinations are chaotic) but I want strong emotional highs that will allow me to feel and vent emotions properly without being consumed by them.

I kind of want control while being out of control. I would not be comfortable really to lie down and feel my body melt away or anything like that, but at the same time I want to be thrust into deep water so that I learn to swim and experience all sorts of really new mindblowing amazing things.

I guess you guys aren't supposed to give dosage advice, but would 60g be too strong? I don't want to just be high.... I want a trip and a trip like I've never had before. But I don't want to go off the deep end, unless I want to go there deliberately.

.............................

and my SETTING is really lousy. I'm thinking of asking my parents to let me trip at their place, but........ I am pretty sure the answer would be no. And if the answer would be no then they'd know what I'm doing here and they'd probably worry or try to intervene.

But fuck you know psychedelis are supposed to be done in a free environment where you can be yourself without worrying about other people.

I am surrounded by other people and I don't know where to go to trip that would be a good solution. I've never been out in nature on my own before and wouldn't really know where to find a camping spot where I wouldn't worry about being noticed.
(this is another big issue, caring what people think of me.... it's not that I care it's just I don't want to get in trouble)

so yeah.......

I really want to trip, I've been quite excited about mescaline. But there's anxiety too.



* oh and I know I'm saying "I want mescaline to be this and that" and that's true, but I know you just sit and experience for what it is, you don't try to hope for the trip to be a certain way.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/13/06 10:36 AM)


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InvisibleStickyWater
Stranger
Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 1,680
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378583 - 03/08/06 06:22 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Were you tripping when you wrote that? You DO know what your navel is right?

Anyways, that asside, from what I understood you feel guilty about doing drugs (and having sex apparently). Both of these I feel are simply a result of humanity trying to separate itself from the animals and trying to tell people what are "good" values and what are "bad" values...

Personally I find this disgusting, all the propaganda that tries to stop us from doing drugs does work, it just doesn't stop us from doing drugs. Many people still feel that drugs are bad or that for some reason there's something special about THIS chemical compound that makes it soo wrong and evil in comparison to all the drugs forced down our throats by doctors (not to mention those drugs usually have far more side-effects than anything regularily discussed in the psychedelic experience...

You say you feel like you could do a thumbprint of acid and not feel it? Well then yeah, there's a reason you're not getting much out of your experiences, upping the dose isn't the answer


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OfflineKaleidoscope
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378629 - 03/08/06 06:33 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

You said 60 grams of mescaline? thats an INSANE dose...unless you are talking about dried cactus...which I'll assume you are because from your posts on here, you seem way too knowlegable about these things to eat 60 grams of mescaline, that is if you can even get that much.

As far as what you were talking about with your navel. Are you referencing a body feeling in that area?


--------------------

Purple haze, all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: StickyWater]
    #5378635 - 03/08/06 06:34 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

ummm that was an extreme exaggeration, a thumbprint would shatter my mind into trillions of pieces, i have never done mescaline, mushrooms, or lsd.

or anything except LSA, DXM, salvia, and weed. What I'm saying is I just feel..... that it's hard for me to FEEL things.

What do you mean do I know what my navel is? It's an energy storage center and its not functioning properly....... (i believe in and attempt to work with[sometimes] chakras)

no i'm not tripping.

So considering my first post, I want to do 60g cactus (not 60g mescaline i didn't mean to say that.....) having never had a strong trip before and am wondering if I'll take it okay.

I feel like the right path is the path where drug users are not penalized, though use is done responsibly and carefully not like how it is right now, and there is something alluring about cacti......

I don't think it's wrong, I just am worried of the consequences...... if we didn't have a war on drugs you're right I'd be just fine and I'd go out in a park or something and just sit there all day.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/08/06 06:35 PM)


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OfflineNickSoapdish
Hypochondriac
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Registered: 04/15/05
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378648 - 03/08/06 06:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

when you smoked salvia, did you have trouble letting go then?


--------------------


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: NickSoapdish]
    #5378662 - 03/08/06 06:39 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

mmmm salvia let go for me.

when i realized that i had slipped off into nothingness then yes, i fought the trip, because i was starting to leave my body and didn't know what in the world was happening.

since then i meditated for a while and did salvia and it was fine, i let go completely and tried to stay in it as long as possible, but..... it was uncomfortable to say the least, and i also didn't get as high as i did the time i freaked out.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineKaleidoscope
Voodoo Child
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 674
Loc: the 28th dimension
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: NickSoapdish]
    #5378673 - 03/08/06 06:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

you've never shroomed! damn man...you need to try that, I think you'll love it! It's very much about the mind, more so than anything else I've tryed...I'd say in your case try taking an eighth of decent cubes and don't smoke any ganj unless you need to on the come up for nausea...


Seriously, you won't regret it if you have a positive mindset and some good music on hand...really, it's a very mind opening experience. I know you are into buddhism a bit and the mind state while shrooming is very conducive to exploring this experientally...you won't regret it.


--------------------

Purple haze, all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: Kaleidoscope]
    #5378683 - 03/08/06 06:47 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

well i can't get shrooms right now.

honestly I mean they sound neat, but in my mind they sound like they'd be more intense and confusing than acid or mescaline. I don't know if that's true, but from reading posts it seems that way. acid / mesc are supposed to be a bit "clearer"

have you ever done mescaline kaleidoscope? and you say i should shroom so enthusiastically, you don't think i'd freak out based upon this stuff going on in my head?


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineNickSoapdish
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Male

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 690
Last seen: 13 years, 21 days
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378697 - 03/08/06 06:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
since then i meditated for a while and did salvia and it was fine, i let go completely and tried to stay in it as long as possible, but..... it was uncomfortable to say the least, and i also didn't get as high as i did the time i freaked out.




Can you not use this and apply it to mescaline? I know that they're completely different substances, but they (like most psychedelics) carry a similar issue of producing anxiety.

You say you let go completely in the past, and that's usually the largest obstacle associated with tripping. Sounds like you already know what you have to do. I don't think anyone can help you figure it out any more than you've figured it out for yourself, through your own experience.


--------------------


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: NickSoapdish]
    #5378719 - 03/08/06 06:56 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Well yes part of my plan is to spend a large portion of time meditating before and during consumption.

I don't know if I should wait and find a better environment. This one really does suck, boxed in next to other people not really feeling like I could wail on instruments loudly or yell and scream and be goofy.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineKaleidoscope
Voodoo Child
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 674
Loc: the 28th dimension
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378727 - 03/08/06 06:57 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

well...you could freak out, that possibility is always there for anything...and no i haven't tried mescaline yet but it's in the works...from my one experience with LSD and the experience I have with other phenethylamines though you are correct, they tend to leave your thought processes much more intact IMHO.

I think that with all that stuff in your head, if you were to shroom these issues would be somewhat easier to resolve than on other things. Shrooms aren't malevolent in their own right. You have to make the experience bad to have a bad time...you can seriously eat an eighth and just lie down and close you eyes and think. You could very possibly make new connections of ideas that will help you understand why things are the way they are in your life. If you show them respect, they will return the favor. The major thing that causes bad trips in my opinion is bad emotion and bad karma.


--------------------

Purple haze, all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.


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OfflineAkira
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: NickSoapdish]
    #5378731 - 03/08/06 06:58 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I think before you even get any deeper into any form of psychadelics you may just need to let go of the idea of an existing "hell." Then you need to resolve the issues you have with morality and drugs.

You abosolutely cannot take any form of psycadelics if you in any way think it is evil and hell is real. LOL. Thats like asking for the worst experience EVER.

You know I recently heard about a Christian church that was found using Mushrooms (Dont know what species) to communicate with God. This is usually more common with eastern thought, but to find a case where it was connected to the ethical monotheistic view of God source is pretty interesting.

Anyways that anxiety you're feeling is most likely caused by your inner fears which are stored deep in your subconscious, and your anxiety is simply your conscious self way of avoiding fear and seeking security.

"Fear knocked on the door, faith answered, no one was there." :wink:


--------------------

Orissa India Bulk Grow (Tub Tek)
Bulk Steamer Pasteurizer Tek

"Our intention is our eternal fingerprint in the universe."

We know that God is good, and so are hamburgers and hot dogs. We know that hamburgers and hot dogs definitely do exist, so then by deduction of logic God too must also exist. Hamburgers + Hot dogs = God.... Duh


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OfflineNickSoapdish
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: Akira]
    #5378790 - 03/08/06 07:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

GodsEntelechy said:
I think before you even get any deeper into any form of psychadelics you may just need to let go of the idea of an existing "hell." Then you need to resolve the issues you have with morality and drugs.

You abosolutely cannot take any form of psycadelics if you in any way think it is evil and hell is real. LOL. Thats like asking for the worst experience EVER.




Or maybe he needs a trip to transcend those thoughts of evil. Tripping allows me, and many others, to observe those deeply seeded insecurities, understand them, and eventually change them. It may be a difficult experience, but I think in the right setting on the correct dose, it would be more beneficial and enlightening than frightening.


--------------------


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: Kaleidoscope]
    #5378822 - 03/08/06 07:15 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Kaleidoscope said:
The major thing that causes bad trips in my opinion is bad emotion and bad karma.



do you think bad karma is resolved while tripping, or do you think tripping can create more bad karma (not so much from substance use but from planting your own negative thoughts deeper into your own head)?

i know that proper use of dreaming and sleep helps you burn a ton of karma according to yogic traditions, but the tricky thing is when immersed in symbol (such as dream or psychedelic [not ego loss] episode) you interact with the karma in all its significance, and so it can be difficult to deal with and you could possibly reject it, making things worse.

i.e. you see a scary guy and you show him love, then he transforms, that's good. or you ignore him and he disappears.... that's good. but if you get scared then you automatically enter feedback loops and he becomes scarier.

that's how dreams work and i think psychedelis kind of work that way, but much more quickly.

humm. its a lot to think about.

i'm going to use my dreams to get as much perspective on this issue as i can. read up on psychedelic yoga, read "the psychedelic experience", etc.

try and meditate and/or dream about cacti and communicate with its "spirit"


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/08/06 07:17 PM)


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Offlinegotcha420haha
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378901 - 03/08/06 07:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:What do you mean do I know what my navel is? It's an energy storage center and its not functioning properly....... (i believe in and attempt to work with[sometimes] chakras)




dude a Navel is your belly button ahhah...  :grin:


--------------------
 
"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."


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OfflineHypercube
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378938 - 03/08/06 07:41 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Seems like you're finding your own way to prepare yourself, and that is so important and beautiful. You're going to have a wonderful, life-changing experience!

And I think bad trips are immensely beneficial. People only think in terms of avoiding "bad" trips and perpetuating "good" feelings or thoughts. Well to me, they're two sides of the same psychadelic coin. In entering hallucinogenic mindspace you are signing a contract to be exposed to and experience the extremes of life, whether they're beautiful, exotic, terrifying or immensely sad. Your capacity for happiness is countered by your capacity for sadness.

Knowing this will, I believe, help you deal with difficult situations not only in trips, but in sober life. Life is like riding a wave, with ups and downs - only fools try to manouvre the same crest; when the valley inevitably approaches, they are drowned.

Life is hard. Psychadelics make it harder.
Life is beautiful. Psychadelics make it more beautiful.


--------------------


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InvisibleStickyWater
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: gotcha420haha]
    #5378939 - 03/08/06 07:41 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

What do you mean do I know what my navel is? It's an energy storage center and its not functioning properly.......




Hehe, that's going in the favourite quotes :laugh:


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OfflineKaleidoscope
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5378960 - 03/08/06 07:45 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

you could be able to come face to face with your bad karma and resolve it. On the other hand you could deny your bad karma and create more...what I'm trying to say here is that you define whether or not you resolve these things in your head. I would say that the karma resulting from the action of taking the mushrooms is very neutral...it is not associated with good nor bad...rather, it is you intention that defines whether the action is positive or negative. this is all how I view things of this sort, obviously, you could have very different conceptions of these things then me.


--------------------

Purple haze, all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.


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InvisibleTODAY
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Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: leery11]
    #5379325 - 03/08/06 09:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

forget the chokehold that religion has on you and you'll be one step closer to actually being happy with yourself. You are already tripping...GUILT TRIPPING. get rid of that guilt, nobody is going to hell, not you, not hitler, not anybody. let go of the bullshit and do for you because this is your only shot at life. why live it bottling up guilt and unhappiness?


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help me figure out tripping. [Re: TODAY]
    #5379397 - 03/08/06 09:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

well thanks guys.

i don't know about no one going to hell, because i see hell right here on this earth for many miserable peoples.

i believe in karma.... and what i have learned but find hard to integrate is that belief in buddhism, to me, stems from a rational mind learning about consciousness and its relation to the universe...

whereas christianity stems from the rational mind freaking out and wanting a sense of security, hence fear of hell.

I mean it'd be good if I took control of my entire life in an enlightenedish sort of way, so I could feel secure.... but since my influence is rather low (stemming from dreaming and how dreams dictate how my reality will be mainly) i feel like I would like to have the faith that there is a higher calling which I can fall in line with that will protect me, keep me safe and alive for a very long time until all things are figured out and I am ready to take the next step.....

etc.

because right now its just .......... me not being able to accept lack of control. and yet... i don't think there is lack of control, i think we have more control than we could ever realize.

so its challenging. i remember so much. always remembering more. this life. other possible lives. it threads a rich tapestry of curious perplexion........

the more i learn to alter my consciousness deliberately, the more random pieces come floating back....... mainly from my childhood. there is a huge intimacy and familiarity to any psychedelic state it seems like..... but at least for marijuana it almost seems benevolent, like you are stepping into death, but not dying.
[edit: i meant to type "malevolent" but it came out benevolent.... hmmm]

i dunno. its just. the labeling mind. it is........... necessary for being human but such a hinderance. i just don't want to tinker with things that are not on my path to divinity / healthy life.

i suppose as long as i embrace the desire to live that life, i will be lead to the right choices though, and I have been sent signs that even if I stop using, I still need to fight the drug war from the right side.
so yeah.






WHERE should I trip? Is it worth tripping in a lousy environment just for the sake of tripping itself? I like lying prone and thinking and exploring, but............ when I'm high here I often realize how much I don't like this life, how I'd rather be anywhere else with good people having conversations and lying out in nature. yet my inebriated state makes me reluctant to venture outside with all the police are around.

this leaves....................... three options.
1) trip here, if i get restless i'm going to have to find entertainment/comfort in a somewhat negative environment.
2) find some sort of way to trip at my parents, seems very unlikely
3) find some place that i can go camping. many complications but would be most rewarding.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/08/06 09:39 PM)


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Trip_Out_7 18,864 42 10/11/23 02:53 PM
by Neurotech

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