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Real_Poopypants
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 237
Loc: Surrey, B.C.
Last seen: 10 months, 16 days
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wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think
#5373034 - 03/07/06 12:10 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I realize I'm committing some sort of sin by not giving titles to some of these before posting them, but I haven't thought of any worthy names as of yet. _____________________________________________________________
Less than half of me rejects the master plan, but more than most of me doesn't know who I am.
With this catastrophe, rage within my head fears of finality - black thoughts keep them fed.
If this day ever ends and I'm still standing up, forever changed - I'll believe again and drink deeply from his cup.
But his presence never felt nor existence presumed by faith, so, within I seek help and potential goes to waste.
If he is only a prayer away, how long a prayer must be, for we can pray the length of day - a reward - we'll never see.
It wasn't meant to be this way - we were only meant to be. If he should show me a better way, I'll fall down on my knees. _____________________________________________________________
It seems to be the general view that I do nothing right. If you know what's best for me then step into the light and take the opportunity to demonstrate the same. This is nothing new to me - all you seek is fame, but they'll never know from where this insight came. _____________________________________________________________
I'd like to present to you an alternate view, a fresh perspective, something new. Put my shoes on your feet and walk with me.
An ancient beat guides us, seeps inside us, new moon hides us, makes the tide rush, makes blood flow rust coloured and so, all creatures below make way as we go. But we will not know until we get there if we should be where no mortal would dare, no man would stare.
My conscience says this: that we should not miss a possible shot at ultimate bliss or true happiness, but what's the risk worth? Give fate a wide berth. If we should shoot first and seek answers later then plan for the worst.
Our journey will take place. Our witness - the whole race. We'll laugh in his face and give him a taste of his own cruel joke and the fool will know that his tools - pain and suffering - are a thing of the past. _____________________________________________________________
A Bright Light
The poet inside my head once said: "Here today, gone tomorrow". "Very original", I replied. To be fair, he did add "and in it's place a forever sorrow". I have much to learn, but I won't miss my chance to burn.
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zappa
please excusethe filth, yourmom was justhere


Registered: 02/23/06
Posts: 256
Loc: motor city madness
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: Real_Poopypants]
#5373612 - 03/07/06 09:25 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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thats really deep. i like that a lot. where did you find the inspiration for all of this? its really cool. i think you should publish a book if you have more of them. thats what im going to do with mine.
p.s. that link in your signature was very cool.
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I GARY SINISE!!!!
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powerpak14
Stranger
Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 47
Last seen: 16 years, 23 days
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: zappa]
#5376412 - 03/07/06 11:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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bright light is my favorite
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Real_Poopypants
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 237
Loc: Surrey, B.C.
Last seen: 10 months, 16 days
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: zappa]
#5392989 - 03/12/06 06:59 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonunit_Zappa said: thats really deep. i like that a lot. where did you find the inspiration for all of this? its really cool. i think you should publish a book if you have more of them. thats what im going to do with mine.
p.s. that link in your signature was very cool.
Thanks for the compliments, man. I don't know where ideas come from. Sometimes it seems like they come out of nowhere and once I have a line or two it just flows. I do most of my writing on the bus or the ferry and some while I'm lying in bed. I keep a book and a pencil on me at all times. I find the best method to get things flowing is to just write down whatever words and phrases come to you and see what you get. Don't think about what you're writing just listen to what's in your head, the first thing that pops into mind. Give it a try. Here's one that I came up with by using this method.
Let the truth be told that futures cannot hold. You contemplate, but I?ll show you how the future is just tomorrow?s now. The past is just the present, gone. The future is just the present, done. So if you find you?re looking past the present, you move on too fast. The future always moves away ? The present ? it is here to stay. ----------------------------------------------------------
ps. thanks for reading my trip report. I'm glad you liked it.
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Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever


Registered: 03/03/06
Posts: 33,222
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: Real_Poopypants]
#5396129 - 03/13/06 06:27 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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poems don't need titles; nor do they have to rhyme. don't let "rules" hang up your creative process.
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: Taco Chef]
#5397731 - 03/14/06 02:59 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
novumorganum said: poems don't need titles; nor do they have to rhyme. don't let "rules" hang up your creative process.
true, but it still needs a certain feel or flow. if a poem has no structure it becomes chaotic and loses its meaning... unless the meaning is to be chaotic, but otherwise...
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever


Registered: 03/03/06
Posts: 33,222
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: eligal]
#5399922 - 03/14/06 04:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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ah but look at the organic structure of WCW, Whitman, or Ginsberg.
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: Taco Chef]
#5401916 - 03/15/06 01:17 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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what about them. they have flow... what are you trying to say.
express yourself!!!
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: Real_Poopypants]
#5402800 - 03/15/06 10:20 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I absolutely LOVE your poetry, LOVE IT. It speaks to something that is universally human. I think you could go places with this.
I like the first one you posted and this one:
Quote:
Let the truth be told that futures cannot hold. You contemplate, but I?ll show you how the future is just tomorrow?s now. The past is just the present, gone. The future is just the present, done. So if you find you?re looking past the present, you move on too fast. The future always moves away ? The present ? it is here to stay.
Edited by EllemyshShade (03/15/06 10:48 AM)
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Real_Poopypants
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 237
Loc: Surrey, B.C.
Last seen: 10 months, 16 days
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Re: wrote a few poems today. plz let me know what you think [Re: eligal]
#5409527 - 03/16/06 05:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
eligal said:
Quote:
novumorganum said: poems don't need titles; nor do they have to rhyme. don't let "rules" hang up your creative process.
true, but it still needs a certain feel or flow. if a poem has no structure it becomes chaotic and loses its meaning... unless the meaning is to be chaotic, but otherwise...
I know they don't need titles, but I just feel like they should have one. Everyone names their kids.
When I first tried writing poetry, I stayed away from rhyming. I thought it was too simple, the easy way out. I have since changed my mind and I think that coming up with a certain rhyming schedule forces you to find more creative ways of wording by describing something maybe in less words than you normally would. I do have some poems that don't rhyme in any way.
Thanks for the compliments, Ellemy. I'm glad you liked them. I have some more that I might post sometime. If you would like to read some of them, let me know.
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