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OfflineTriplexiosis
Lachrymologist
Male

Registered: 12/17/04
Posts: 199
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed
    #5370825 - 03/06/06 01:02 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

This might be better suited for the pub, but I feel it's to crowded in there to get any useful insight (not meant to insult anyone, as I lurk around the pub quite a lot)
I'm extremely introverted, and my partner is an extrovert who wants me to engage into small talk constantly, while I wish to discuss dreams, ideas and explore both our minds. So I compromise, and feel OK with that.
However I started writing these loooong e-mails and my partner can't grasp the half of what I'm writing. And well, wants me to control myself when writing cuz my E-mails are just too much.
So I'm trying to write as little as possible, talking only about 'small' things that I don't find so much important in life.

Hmmm, any advice from all you introverts in intro-extro relationships would be much appreciated. How do you 'cope' with it, and how not to smother your partner with all this self analyzing and reflection?
Also I'm not looking for any drugs related advice, since neither of us are using any drugs (I got all I needed from weed and shrooms, that's behind me now :blush: )

peace  :sun: :heart:


--------------------


"If there were no desire to heal, the damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've choosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now" Tool - Patient

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: Triplexiosis]
    #5371295 - 03/06/06 03:35 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

sounds like this partner isn't really much of a partner.

communication is damn important and if you aren't being listened to or understood.......

what do you have..... going for you... that is worth it? Sex. Hanging out?

I dunno...... no advice whatsoever. I haven't ever had a "partner" and............. well the only people who are into the stuff I'm in, that I've met...... have been of the same sex. I'm not interested in that sort of thing.

I'm just hoping to run into a beautiful intelligent warm girl that is sort of extrovertedish, but very intellectualized.

she would sort of propel me to think about things and foster my repressed impulsivity, and we'd sort of be muses and fit together but she'd be the more outgoing of the two of us.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineTriplexiosis
Lachrymologist
Male

Registered: 12/17/04
Posts: 199
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: leery11]
    #5371420 - 03/06/06 04:11 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Oh I'm being listened all right :smile: it's just i have a tendency to talk too much about certain issues, and at times crave too much attention (of which I tend to be completely unaware). Then there's this layer of fears and anxiety I'm trying to resolve, with more help than I expected.
Communication is somewhat frozen though, since we're apart for long periods (3+ months) so it's all down to e-mails. I with too much spare time at my hands. And my partner with too much work to do -.-''

Quote:

what do you have..... going for you... that is worth it? Sex. Hanging out?



Nah, not sex, or just hanging out. Just working on creating a strong connection (both of us).


--------------------


"If there were no desire to heal, the damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've choosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now" Tool - Patient

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: Triplexiosis]
    #5371714 - 03/06/06 05:25 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

oh okay.

It didn't really come off that way... it was sounding like you were with a ditz.......

I guess that says a lot about my faith in mankind.

You're really lucky though if it's working for you :frown:  /  :smile:
I would probably be in somewhat the same position if the opportunity came along to find someone.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (03/06/06 05:26 PM)


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OfflineTriplexiosis
Lachrymologist
Male

Registered: 12/17/04
Posts: 199
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: leery11]
    #5371812 - 03/06/06 05:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I guess that says a lot about my faith in mankind.



the shroomery sure changed mine for the better  :smile2: :thumbup:

Quote:

You're really lucky though if it's working for you
I would probably be in somewhat the same position if the opportunity came along to find someone.



All I can do is hope for the best :smile: so best of luck in finding that someone  :heart: And when you do, work hard for you know it's worth it.
And thanks for your input, much appreciated.

Peace  :heart:  :sun:


--------------------


"If there were no desire to heal, the damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've choosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now" Tool - Patient

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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Offlinekotik
fuckingsuperhero
 User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 24 days
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: Triplexiosis]
    #5373350 - 03/07/06 05:25 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

hah ya, so if I am getting this right:

you are introverted, so your partner naturally talks more.
however, you also probably write longer messages.

so you accomodate your partner by partaking in (meaningless?) smalltalk, but your partner wont return the favor by reading something you took the time to write, and even mentioned your emails were too much...

plus it sounds like long distance?

so what exactly do you get out of this?


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.


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OfflineTriplexiosis
Lachrymologist
Male

Registered: 12/17/04
Posts: 199
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: kotik]
    #5373468 - 03/07/06 07:54 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

We do accomodate each other, it's just that I feel I'm pushing it a bit too far (and thus need advice how not to). He reads allright, and actually asks of me less small talk than I ask of him with my writings. (hope that makes sense, my english is a bit rusty)

Quote:

plus it sounds like long distance?



Half of the time, half of the time we're together (when he's not working) then it's all good. Lots of small talk, lots of deep talk, sex and whatever comes with that.
Guess I just got to control myself a bit more, as I'm not writing just mails - those are darn books -.-'' and are too frequent.


--------------------


"If there were no desire to heal, the damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've choosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now" Tool - Patient

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: Triplexiosis]
    #5375154 - 03/07/06 05:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Triplexiosis said:

Nah, not sex, or just hanging out. Just working on creating a strong connection (both of us).



I'd say be careful. Because the bound can become strong, and after a while you can start to realize that you need a partner that understands you and shares the same thoughts with you, at least some of them.
And then it will become hard, cause you already care so much about her, and still you need more.
Think about it, really think and see if you can live with that for a bigger amount of time of not. And then make a decision.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineTriplexiosis
Lachrymologist
Male

Registered: 12/17/04
Posts: 199
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: introvert - extrovert relationships... advice needed [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #5375404 - 03/07/06 06:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Still figuring that out. So far we're pretty much on the same level (spiritually, mentally... 'cept I'm more open, and more eager to explore).
Thank you very much for the advice


--------------------


"If there were no desire to heal, the damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've choosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now" Tool - Patient

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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