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no1sunset
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/06
Posts: 5
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Are you outgoing and social?
#5366120 - 03/04/06 11:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I cannot figure it out. I go out to parties, and hang with a lot of people but I cant seem to open up or be outgoing in these situations. Its like theres too much going on and the tendency is jus to space out. Everyone is so social and stuff talking to everybody, and I dont know how to do it.
Its like I have been procrastinating developing my social skills all my life and now is when I give a damn.
It makes me seem like a very closed off individual but I dont want to be. I just dont have much to say about anything.
anyway just venting. When i ever get a bit depressed this is usually the reason.
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daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 22 hours
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: no1sunset]
#5366227 - 03/05/06 12:22 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I talk to everyone. It doesn't matter what you say as long as it's not something boring. If you're at a party, talk about the beer/music/women. Open up a conversation about whatever situation you are in. Once you start B/Sin, you'll be good to go.
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: no1sunset]
#5366297 - 03/05/06 01:02 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Try uppers or alcohol. Motherfucking shit works wonders.
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StandsAlone
Stranger
Registered: 09/12/05
Posts: 30
Loc: Arcata, California
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: daimyo]
#5366322 - 03/05/06 01:14 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ya man, it's not easy to always be able to come up with things to say to people,but most of the things people have to say arn't worth the breath anyway. I can rarely find a person who doesn't jabber about any random thing that pops in their head, and actually wants to talk about something important. I worry about not having anything to say either, but I've noticed when I do have a lot to say it's when my confidence is high and that makes everything just seem to flow the right way. As soon as I start worrying or even just thinking about not having anything to say I am defeated and can't say anything. I'm not sure what to do about it either, but sometimes drugs can help me quite a bit.
Edited by StandsAlone (03/05/06 01:37 AM)
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: StandsAlone]
#5366442 - 03/05/06 03:15 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
I talk to everyone. It doesn't matter what you say as long as it's not something boring. If you're at a party, talk about the beer/music/women. Open up a conversation about whatever situation you are in. Once you start B/Sin, you'll be good to go.
I would have to disagree, and even take the exact opposite stance. If "socializing" just means talking about bullshit that doesn't matter, to appear anything but boring.. well then count me out! haha.
i cant think of anything more boring than talking about beer music a women with a room full of drunkards and party animals. I would even go so far as to say, if you dont have something worth saying, even if its not "boring" just go ahead and stfu.
sorry if that comes across as bitter
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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stefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: no1sunset]
#5366448 - 03/05/06 03:24 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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The only way to learn it is to practice. It's scary at first but you'll see that it isn't as hard a syou think it is. Sure sometimes you'll have nothing to say to someone after a minute, that also happens (you can't be friends with everyone eh? ), but don't let that hold you back. The more you practice the easier it gets. good luck
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TameMe
Stranger


Registered: 10/24/05
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: stefan]
#5366927 - 03/05/06 10:12 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I draw blanks a lot when I'm trying to socialize. But most of the time the crap people talk about just isn't that interesting.
I think if you have to "try" to socialize it makes it worse. I find I do best when I'm not trying to spit something out but am lucid in the moment listening and responding.
When I'm trying to force some response that isn't even there, then I start saying to myself "you gotta think of something to say, why am i so quiet, i must be boring." Once that self talk starts...there is no way I can think of anything to say because those thoughts are clouding my brain.
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daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 22 hours
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: kotik]
#5366950 - 03/05/06 10:21 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
kotik said:
Quote:
I talk to everyone. It doesn't matter what you say as long as it's not something boring. If you're at a party, talk about the beer/music/women. Open up a conversation about whatever situation you are in. Once you start B/Sin, you'll be good to go.
I would have to disagree, and even take the exact opposite stance. If "socializing" just means talking about bullshit that doesn't matter, to appear anything but boring.. well then count me out! haha.
i cant think of anything more boring than talking about beer music a women with a room full of drunkards and party animals. I would even go so far as to say, if you dont have something worth saying, even if its not "boring" just go ahead and stfu.
sorry if that comes across as bitter
I used to be the same way. Then I realized there are very few people who can hold a conversation about anything meaningful. Besides, when drinking, things like politics and philosophy are better left untouched.
If you're looking for something along those lines, everyday situations just ain't gonna cut it. At least, not around here anyhow. Gotta go to book reviews or shit like that.
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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ClammyJoe
Azurescen Head



Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 3,691
Loc: PNW
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: daimyo]
#5366976 - 03/05/06 10:33 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I gave up looking for intelligent discussion with people around here long ago, especially at parties. Its sad.
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bobjones
...


Registered: 10/12/05
Posts: 999
Loc: Tx
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: ClammyJoe]
#5367119 - 03/05/06 11:27 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheMadConductor said: I gave up looking for intelligent discussion with people around here long ago, especially at parties. Its sad.
same...im so tired of texas...
-------------------- "Outside of a dog a book is a man's friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read" -Groucho Marx
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero


Registered: 06/29/04
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: bobjones]
#5367217 - 03/05/06 12:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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hey.. texas isnt so bad...
Quote:
I used to be the same way. Then I realized there are very few people who can hold a conversation about anything meaningful. Besides, when drinking, things like politics and philosophy are better left untouched.
haha, actually that seems to be true, for the simple reason that people are less reserved when drinking / smoking. But there is a difference between having a few beers with friends and talking about something, and going to a party and having 30 different 5 minute conversations about nothing, between burps, pissing, and fake laughs.
I actually find it disturbing that so many people (the majority it seems like) in western cultures have this need to always be talking, or in a conversation. Almost as if someone is not talking to you, or listening to you, we fidget, get antsy and start wondering whats wrong with ourselves / etc.
thats should not be the case at all. what ever happened to silent reflection, to thinking before speaking, to the beauty of fucking silence. with all of the commercials and everyday racket we have to deal with anyways (at least those of us in cities / etc) you would think there would be more appreciation for it.
On the other hand, being able to communicate ideas, feelings, expressions, thoughts and other things that could manifest positive, or negative things... that is necessary. but seriously I blame media for a lot of this. They may not tell us what to think, but they certainly tell us what to think about, and that is an invisible hurdle in itself. If there were stories on the news more compelling than the latest sports scores, people might actually talk about all of the incredible things that are happening everyday.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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mindfudge
Strange

Registered: 01/16/05
Posts: 123
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: no1sunset]
#5367698 - 03/05/06 03:09 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I went to this party the other day. There were only about 20 people, and 6 of us were out back smoking. I noticed that I could find plenty to say even if it all seemed mundane, but I never had a chance to say any of it. I guess I'm a bit too considerate because I didn't want to cut anyone off. It's almost like you have to force your opinion into the converstation, and at that point I feel just as comfortable not talking.
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You sure you want to be with me, I've nothing to give
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fung_us_among_us


Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 6,906
Loc: Central Oregon
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Re: Are you outgoing and social? [Re: mindfudge]
#5369744 - 03/06/06 03:19 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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i definitely know what you mean.. i feel like that all the time.
i have trouble cutting people off while they're talking because i hate it when people do that to me.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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cutting in with "yeah dude I know what you mean [but?]," works really well.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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