Home | Community | Message Board

Sporeworks
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]
OfflinejustAkid
Member of myCulture

Registered: 11/05/05
Posts: 323
Loc: The Present
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
I feel Despair
    #5363216 - 03/03/06 10:21 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I feel that despair is the only thing I can feel.

I have always been inclined to believe in God. Though my beliefs about what God is have changed I have remained almost unwavering that God must exist.

Now my mom has always been the sweetest person to me as her son and to everyone she has contact with. She has had a crhonic pain disorder for ten years now. I have seen her suffer incredibly not only from the pain but from the emotional despair she feels from being disabled by her pain. I can hardly describe her suffering.

What can I think of my Loving God?

I feel the deepest hatred. I wish to see God feel all the pain he has subjected to his creations. I wish to see him burn in hell. I want agony and torture for him. How can God be so unjust if he is to be God? I feel despair in the injustice.

But then I see there is no God that I wish God to be. There is no God that would let this happen. No God.

Then I see my life without God and I see meaninglessness and I feel despair.

So you see I have a problem. This can't be life.


--------------------
Trust thyself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363226 - 03/03/06 10:24 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

justAkid said:
I feel the deepest hatred. I wish to see God feel all the pain he has subjected to his creations. I wish to see him burn in hell. I want agony and torture for him. How can God be so unjust if he is to be God? I feel despair in the injustice.




He's not real man. Sorry to hear about your mom.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleshroomydan
exshroomerite
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 4,126
Loc: In the woods
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363293 - 03/03/06 10:38 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I feel the deepest hatred. I wish to see God feel all the pain he has subjected to his creations. I wish to see him burn in hell. I want agony and torture for him.






"He was crucified died and was buried. He descended into hell."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363323 - 03/03/06 10:46 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

God is not anthropomorphic. While it might be nice at times to envision God as a friendly old man in the clouds overseeing everything, that simply isn't the way it is. Anything you can say about God cannot describe him. Even by putting a word "God" to it, he is beyond that. In technical terms, he is immanent and transcendent.

I am terribly sorry you have had to suffer. But rest assured that you and your mother aren't the only ones who suffer. Suffering is a significant part of our present form. There is a way to become liberated. It is the Eightfold Path.

Remember, Heaven and Hell are just states of mind, your will is free.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCherk
Fashionable
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363369 - 03/03/06 11:00 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

justAkid said:
  This can't be life.




But it is.  You've got to find something that makes this all worthwhile, whether it be yourself or a hobby.  Your mom does not want to see you suffer because of her suffering.  The best thing you can do for her is to live a life fully experiencing what we humans experience.  You know this is what she wants.

  Life is tough, it's one unfair world, but millions have passed before us through thousands of years and I guess there's something out there that makes it all worthwhile because we're still here, and I have a pretty big hunch that something is love.  Good luck brother you have my unconditional love no matter what. :heart: :heart: :heart:  We're all here for you.


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepsyka
Praetorian
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363885 - 03/04/06 08:15 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

dblaney: If god is unable to be grasped... then what the hell is everybody worshipping?

justakid: Disillusionment is painful at first. Like ripping out unwanted nose hair. In doing so, you will breath better and easier, eventually. Listen to Smoker For Peace. There are several things you can do to make the passing of time wonderful. The despair you feel is a false emotion and is only wasting your energy. Don't be problematic, become a solution.


--------------------
As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5363978 - 03/04/06 09:11 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe God isn't the way we imagine Him to be. But he is. And I'm telling you that I had huge unfair and pailful moments in life, and if I wasn't able to see their reasons, this doesn't mean that the reason doesn't exist.
There are many things which we just don't get but we always learn something from them sooner or later. I'm not saying that your mother should be suffering. I'm not sain that God must has a "bigger plan" for her.
What I'm saying just don't jump to conclusions.
This experience you and your mother are going through could make anything of you: better persons, wiser persons, bad persons, etc. Don't let yourself down.
It sounds hard and it is even harder to do it, but I'm sure that hating God doesn't help you at all.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: I feel Despair [Re: psyka]
    #5364046 - 03/04/06 09:41 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

A symbol.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: dblaney]
    #5364211 - 03/04/06 10:53 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

justAkid said:
There is no God that would let this happen. No God.

Then I see my life without God and I see meaninglessness and I feel despair.

So you see I have a problem. This can't be life.



correct. No God is DOING this to your mother. That does not mean that there is no spirituality and no "God" though, it just isn't some guy in the clouds smoting and blessing random people.

Look into Buddhism....... look into karma.

So.......... can your mother get access to medical marijuana (form of brownies, you don't want to risk damaging her lungs!) ? Because that has really helped people with chronic pain a lot and even allowed some to walk again. But... you don't want to break the laws and risk the consequences of that upon her, non-medical states have a tendency to punish medical users severely. [even up to the point of life in prison]

Perhaps you could make her some medium strength brownies or something from a good soothing indica?

I don't know, it's something to think about........ better than opiates.

Do not lose faith in the concept of faith. Some of your concepts of God don't fit with REALITY and this causes you grief, but "God" is just a word and is beyond conceptualizing.......... as said all religions draw a shape around DAO but dao is formless and beyond description.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: leery11]
    #5364699 - 03/04/06 02:01 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

I feel the deepest hatred. I wish to see God feel all the pain he has subjected to his creations. I wish to see him burn in hell. I want agony and torture for him. How can God be so unjust if he is to be God? I feel despair in the injustice.


God is us so he is subjected to all the pain he has subjected to his creations, when we suffer God suffers through us.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinechucksteak
Stranger

Registered: 10/01/04
Posts: 48
Loc: saskatchewan, canada
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5364798 - 03/04/06 02:33 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

there isn't a God. that is, there isn't some being in the sky who watches us and manipulates our lives. nothing happens for a reason, things just happen and we experience and watch them happen. that's all life is. pain happens to everybody, in many different ways. but it's our perseverance that makes us so special, our will to live and ability to see beauty in anything and everything. just love, that's all that really matters.


--------------------
DON'T PANIC


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: chucksteak]
    #5364833 - 03/04/06 02:42 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

God is love.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleredtailedhawk
Explorer of the Mystery
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 559
Loc: The Old Continent
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5364991 - 03/04/06 03:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Let's say for example God is love. We have decided to remove ourselves from that existence, incarnate and live through our separate sense of self that is our Ego. Before we can reach that state of pure love again, our ego must fall. There is no other way around it. If suffering is seen in the light of shedding the ego, becoming humble and returning home to our true nature than this can ease some of the pain we experience and give it some reason.

What probably helps most is just being around those who suffer and love them unconditionally.

I hope your mother get's better.


--------------------

"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinejustAkid
Member of myCulture

Registered: 11/05/05
Posts: 323
Loc: The Present
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5365663 - 03/04/06 08:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Thank you all.

But all I can see is injustice.

I feel that I can't devote myself to any good, to love, to life, if this good is in no way just; in which case it is not good at all.

If I can see how the misplaced suffering of all those who seemingly don't deserve this suffering is just, maybe I'll see things in a different way.


--------------------
Trust thyself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinesecretmachine
lover of mystery

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 72
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5366101 - 03/04/06 11:30 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

you have to remember this hatred and resistance of pain is a cultural phenomenom. God never promised you will feel no pain and anguish. This is a god who killed all the first born sons in egypt, who ordered one of his followers to kill his own son, who let the devil torture job into despair. This does not sound like a god that doesnt want you to feel pain. Indeed He created pain in the first place, people want to blame the devil, but he didnt create humanity, god did.


--------------------
---
A civilization based on authority-and-submission is a civilization without the means of self-correction. Effective communication flows only one way: from master-group to servile-group. Any cyberneticist knows that such a one-way communication channel lacks feedback and cannot behave "intelligently."

the principle of authority" was the "eminently theological, metaphysical and political idea that the masses, always incapable of governing themselves, must submit at all times to the benevolent yoke of a wisdom and a justice, which in one way or another, is imposed from above."
"no one should be entrusted with power, inasmuch as anyone invested with authority must . . . became an oppressor and exploiter of society."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
Re: I feel Despair [Re: secretmachine]
    #5366140 - 03/04/06 11:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

God is the creator. He does not interfere with the day to day life of humans too much. I walk down the line between good and evil. Half of me is altruistic, the other half wants to burn the whole world down. If you sit on the fence you will get nothing. I myself am yet to decide whether I will be good or evil. Evil is very obvious, tempting and easy. Good is rather ethereal difficult and unpleasant. On one hand fuck love and god and do whatever the fuck you want. On the other you must live for others and love being your only reward. This is a very difficult decision for me. I have had everything taken from me and I want to take it back from everything and everyone. Neutral sucks, worst of both sides and none of the benefits.


--------------------
Give your money or your life
Take 'em both for all I care
Dump your bullets right here


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Dmonikal]
    #5366152 - 03/04/06 11:47 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Evil is very obvious, tempting and easy. Good is rather ethereal difficult and unpleasant. On one hand fuck love and god and do whatever the fuck you want. On the other you must live for others and love being your only reward. This is a very difficult decision for me.




Evil sounds like the better option in this case.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366172 - 03/04/06 11:57 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

indeed, that is why so many more people on earth choose evil to some degree. it SEEMS (key word "seems") like the better choice and its certainly the easier choice upfront. however, just like not doing your homework is far easier than doing it and there is no immediate consequence , it will catch up with you somewhere down the line and youll wish youd done it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5366206 - 03/05/06 12:13 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
indeed, that is why so many more people on earth choose evil to some degree. it SEEMS (key word "seems") like the better choice and its certainly the easier choice upfront. however, just like not doing your homework is far easier than doing it and there is no immediate consequence , it will catch up with you somewhere down the line and youll wish youd done it.




Consider those who spend their entire lives committing evil acts and manipulating and harming others, yet experience nothing other than happiness and prosperity until that day finally comes when they die in their sleep (or experience an equally painless death) after living a long and healthy life. When would you say their choices caught up with them?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366215 - 03/05/06 12:16 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

obviously people who believe in God do not believe consciousness ends at death.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5366226 - 03/05/06 12:22 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
obviously people who believe in God do not believe consciousness ends at death.




So you're saying that the hypothetical sinners will be punished for their actions after death, and that's how their decision to live a life of evil will catch up to them? But just a moment ago, you said that "God is Love," so how is there room for punishment in love? Why should one have to answer to God for one's sins if we are indeed his creation?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366234 - 03/05/06 12:26 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

is spitting into the wind punishment when the spit hits you?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5366237 - 03/05/06 12:28 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
is spitting into the wind punishment when the spit hits you?




No. Wind also doesn't exist after death.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366241 - 03/05/06 12:30 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

it doesn't?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5366254 - 03/05/06 12:37 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
it doesn't?




All evidence would suggest otherwise, but I suppose you're right, I need to consider the possibility that after death we are magically transported to another universe exactly like our own with the same weather features. With that said, there is nothing that seems to make that possibility anymore probable than any other random guess. Now stop avoiding my questions with metaphors.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleit stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366255 - 03/05/06 12:37 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

itstarssaddam said:
So you're saying that the hypothetical sinners will be punished for their actions after death, and that's how their decision to live a life of evil will catch up to them? But just a moment ago, you said that "God is Love," so how is there room for punishment in love? Why should one have to answer to God for one's sins if we are indeed his creation?




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: it stars saddam]
    #5366266 - 03/05/06 12:44 AM (17 years, 10 months ago)

my point is simply that there is a cause and affect relationship between our actions and the consequences that follow and some people believe that it is not interrupted by death (see karma).


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
Re: I feel Despair [Re: Deviate]
    #5368727 - 03/05/06 09:33 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Everything comes back to fuck with you in the end, ESPECIALLY good deeds. Now I just stare into the sun, and I see everything I've done
I think I could have been someone, but I can't stop what has begun.


--------------------
Give your money or your life
Take 'em both for all I care
Dump your bullets right here


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
Re: I feel Despair [Re: justAkid]
    #5368748 - 03/05/06 09:40 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

You're gonna have to let go of the 'Old-Bearded-Guy-in-the-Sky' notion of God and redefine God (which is to say, redefine Ultimate Reality). You have a lot of psychological material to clear before you tackle metaphysical concerns. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition, but there is no one to blame for the imperfections of creation. If creation were perfect, it would be God and there would be no creation.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinejustAkid
Member of myCulture

Registered: 11/05/05
Posts: 323
Loc: The Present
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: I feel Despair [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #5369152 - 03/05/06 11:25 PM (17 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

You're gonna have to let go of the 'Old-Bearded-Guy-in-the-Sky' notion of God and redefine God (which is to say, redefine Ultimate Reality). You have a lot of psychological material to clear before you tackle metaphysical concerns. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition, but there is no one to blame for the imperfections of creation. If creation were perfect, it would be God and there would be no creation.




My conceptions of God may not represent the Reality, but I feel like they are pretty damn close. My original post may sound like I place God as a person, but I don't think I do. I don't see Justice in this world. Maybe I see God in Love, in Awareness. Then I look for Justice and I find pain where it seems there shouldn't be. If I find Justice it seems arbitrary.

So if I can't see Justice I can't regard all these other good as good/God because there is no Justice. If Justice is not a part of good /God, then I don't see God.

Just a sidenote: If I see pain where it is deserved I see Justice. Pain is acceptable, but inJustice is not.


--------------------
Trust thyself.


Edited by justAkid (03/06/06 09:41 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* All the thoughts... feelings of...
( 1 2 all )
Droz 2,918 21 08/04/02 06:23 AM
by Sclorch
* despair in a non perfect world MickyFinn 686 2 02/21/02 07:45 PM
by MickyFinn
* What do you think is the best feeling or experienc
( 1 2 all )
shroom-girlie 5,293 31 09/10/01 07:21 AM
by BBin
* can you feel the storm ?
( 1 2 all )
2Experimental 2,805 28 02/17/06 05:13 PM
by CerebralFlower
* being responsible for your feelings kaiowas 894 11 03/15/04 12:45 AM
by kaiowas
* Mushrooms make me feel complete repemon 1,338 8 05/14/04 06:37 PM
by MarkostheGnostic
* How do you feel when SpecialEd 745 4 03/03/04 10:50 AM
by SpecialEd
* anyone feeling dark lately?
( 1 2 3 all )
Zero7a1 6,309 50 12/21/02 05:16 AM
by Zero7a1

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, DividedQuantum
2,049 topic views. 0 members, 14 guests and 7 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 14 queries.