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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
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The "Talk"
    #5338036 - 02/25/06 01:40 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

How old were you and what were the circumstances when you got "The Talk" (i.e. the talk from your parents about sex).

I was approximately ten years old. I remember my mother gingerly approaching me. She was unable to look at me and it was obvious something severely awkward was on her mind. She had a videotape in her hand and I immediately knew what was about to happen. I started to look for an escape route but it was fruitless.

She said, "What do you know about sex?". I'm thinking, "Oh fuck...here it comes". She tried talking about it and I tried to blow her off. I tried to play with some of my toys and look like I wasn't interested in stuff like this. In actuality I was (I used to sneak my dad's Playboys all of the time).

She put in the video. It was a cartoon that showed Mr. and Mrs. So and So. Mr. and Mrs. So and So were going on a trip in their Winnebago and they "loved each other very much". It showed Mr. So and So inserting his penis into the missus and they both turned and blandly smiled at the screen while remaining completely motionless. I was fucking horrified. My eyes got all big and I just prayed for immediate death so that I would not have to face my mother after this incident.

I still get the willies thinking about it.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338058 - 02/25/06 01:49 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I was about 15, my mom walked in on me and some chick while we were doing it
afterwards I got the talk "my house is not a bordello"


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InvisibleVoidOfsPg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338060 - 02/25/06 01:49 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My parents never did give me "the talk".

I found everything out by myself by means of the internet.

I was corrupted by the time I was 14 or 15.


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Invisiblelukeboots
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: VoidOfsPg]
    #5338071 - 02/25/06 01:53 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

yeah, my mom tried to give me the talk, and I just told her I was pretty sure I already knew everything I needed to know. and that I'd ask questions if need be (never did that, obviously).


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey


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OfflineTheQueen
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: lukeboots]
    #5338081 - 02/25/06 02:00 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I was given a book called "where babies are made" great book, i still reefer to it's exceptional explanation of intercourse.


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InvisibleJonnyOnTheSpot
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338094 - 02/25/06 02:04 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i got the talk after i had already had sex, so i thought it was kind of funny. It was my dad who told me though...it would have been more uncomfortable if it had been my mom.


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InvisibleVoidOfsPg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: TheQueen]
    #5338096 - 02/25/06 02:05 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

TheQueen said:
I was given a book called "where babies are made"    great book, i still reefer to it's exceptional explanation of intercourse.




mmm reefer.  :bigblunt:


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InvisibleTYL3R
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: VoidOfsPg]
    #5338101 - 02/25/06 02:06 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

VoidOfsPg said:
My parents never did give me "the talk".

I found everything out by myself by means of the internet.

I was corrupted by the time I was 14 or 15.




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InvisibleVoidOfsPg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: TYL3R]
    #5338112 - 02/25/06 02:09 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah I'm definitely not letting my kids surf the net like I did.

I'm pretty sure I've seen almost everything there is to see. I'm not shocked or disgusted by anything I've seen online...and I've seen some pretty nasty shit.


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InvisibleTYL3R
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: VoidOfsPg]
    #5338120 - 02/25/06 02:10 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

It's made be uber-smart tho.


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InvisibleChikitta
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: TYL3R]
    #5338131 - 02/25/06 02:15 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Never got the talk from my parents either.... early corruption.


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Offlinemikeownow
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Chikitta]
    #5338145 - 02/25/06 02:19 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I never got the talk and I am fine.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.


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InvisibleDarkcloud
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: TYL3R]
    #5338154 - 02/25/06 02:22 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My dad didn't really tell me anything about it. He just said: "Women are trouble, and their pussy is that women are good for." Lol.

My mom. Well, she tried to once. I was going on a trip several states away with my school. I was 14, and she tried to threaten me that if I had sex with anyone, she was going to kick my ass. It was akward, but I pretty much told her to chill out.

But one time, I passed out immediately after jacking off in the living room. I didn't have time to zip up or anything. Bam, and Zzzzzz...And the next thing I know I'm magically in my bed with my pants on.  I was VERY VERY tired of course. Anyways, soon after I overheard her mumbling to her sister about how she finally caught me or something to that extent...

So yeah, after that, I don't think she wanted to talk to me about that stuff at all. Word got around school about that pretty fast. :crazy:


--------------------
:poison: :poison: :poison:


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OfflineNoviseer
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338180 - 02/25/06 02:35 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I remember when my mom told me about periods.  I was around 11 years old, I knew everything else, but the idea that blood comes out of vaginas every month was one of the weirdest things I could imagine at the time.  I thought she might be pulling my leg, it was so outrageous. 

My dad tried to give me the talk after he saw me staring at the cheerleaders at a college football game. 

Dad: "Um, Cody, I noticed you checking out those cheerleaders."
Me: "CMON DAD!  OH MY GOD.  I WAS NOT!"
Dad: "its perfectly normal.  Use a condom."
Me: "I KNOW DAD! JEEEZ!"

that was the extent of it.  I learned the details from AOL porn. :smile:


--------------------
_______________________________________________________________
namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
_________________________________________________________________


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Offlinepantsboy
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338221 - 02/25/06 02:52 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My parents never gave me the "talk" and I think I turned out just fine. By the way, what the hell's a penis?


--------------------
Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire. :frown:




"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013)

ToiletDuk said:
"Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."


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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: pantsboy]
    #5338249 - 02/25/06 03:04 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My parents didn't have to give me the talk, the public school system to it upon themselves to do that. I guess they didn't have any faith in any of our parents? Maybe rightfully so for some of the kids parents.


--------------------
-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338261 - 02/25/06 03:11 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I'm suprised your parents would think that a 10 year old didn't know about sex...

Mine told me when I was 2. Apparently I found it hilarious.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Offlined33p
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Phluck]
    #5338388 - 02/25/06 03:50 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I'm still waiting for the talk actually. However, i lost my virginity way to young, fucking miami public schools. But damn, I got corrupted so young, it actually embarrasses me. I wonder if it was just my class, grade, or the whole school. And i was in the gifted classes at that time lol.


--------------------
I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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InvisibleTYL3R
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: d33p]
    #5338398 - 02/25/06 03:55 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

haha

you're 'gifted' !


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Offlined33p
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: TYL3R]
    #5338410 - 02/25/06 04:00 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

TYL3R said:
haha

you're 'gifted' !




We were some bad gifted kids even before the first grade but it mainly started in the first grade.

And I think this was discussed before and as it turns out quite a bit of the shroomery population were "gifted" in public school.


--------------------
I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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OfflineSpenny
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: d33p]
    #5338420 - 02/25/06 04:06 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

No.

According to Conan, most asian teenagers learn about sex via porn.

FACT


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OfflineDamn
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Spenny]
    #5338473 - 02/25/06 04:43 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i never got the talk, like i couldnt figure it out? sex is good, be safe, fin.


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--------------------------------------------------------------


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Damn]
    #5338483 - 02/25/06 04:48 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My God! Look at all of the sex oriented "related threads" that pop up at the bottom of this thread and that were started by me.

I'm a fucking hornball!


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Invisibleeligal
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338541 - 02/25/06 05:21 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

RandalFlagg said:
She put in the video.  It was a cartoon that showed Mr. and Mrs. So and So.  Mr. and Mrs. So and So were going on a trip in their Winnebago and they "loved each other very much".  It showed Mr. So and So inserting his penis into the missus and they both turned and blandly smiled at the screen while remaining completely motionless.  I was fucking horrified.  My eyes got all big and I just prayed for immediate death so that I would not have to face my mother after this incident. 




holy shit! that sounds horrid!!!  :crazy:

when my parents tried to talk about sex, i just told them not to bother that i knew all i needed to know already. and then later school had a day where they showed us a sex ed video.
and thats it  :thumbup:

other than that my dad has told me (throughout the years) all his sex stories after my parents got divorced.
the worst being a few years ago when we were parked at the gas station, his girlfriend in paying for gas. i took a sip from his mountain dew straw bottle thingy, and he then proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend gave him a blowjob the night before, and hasnt brushed her teeth yet, so i shouldnt let her kiss me.
then he smiles and says, "And thats not my bottle, thats hers."

:suicide:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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Invisiblekaniz
That one, overthere.
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: eligal]
    #5338578 - 02/25/06 05:31 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Never had 'the talk' actually. However, I did listen to The Sunday Night Show with Sue Johanson on AM 640 (long before she had a TV show), and learned alot from that.

But really. You have a penis, a body has various holes that a penis can be stuck into.

But really -
Use condoms to prevent STDs
Make sure your girl is on the pill and/or use condom to prevent babies



Well, there's alot more to good sex than that - but the fun part is discoverng it on your own.


Edited by kaniz (02/25/06 05:51 PM)


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Offlinepantsboy
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: eligal]
    #5338580 - 02/25/06 05:32 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

bukake!


--------------------
Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire. :frown:




"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013)

ToiletDuk said:
"Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: eligal]
    #5338697 - 02/25/06 06:13 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

eligal said:
holy shit! that sounds horrid!!!  :crazy:





It was.  I will never do that to my kid.  I'd let him knock a girl up or get an STD before I forced him to go through something like my mom made me go through.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338740 - 02/25/06 06:27 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Just talk to them when they're young enough that they haven't developed fear/shame about sex and they won't be traumatized. They'll probably have healthier and more comfortable attitudes towards sex as well.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338745 - 02/25/06 06:30 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I never got "the talk" but I did get a talk when my parents found my research on my gf missing periods and other various signs that pointed towards prenancy in the internet history.

They weren't too happy about that.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Phluck]
    #5338749 - 02/25/06 06:31 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Phluck said:
Just talk to them when they're young enough that they haven't developed fear/shame about sex and they won't be traumatized. They'll probably have healthier and more comfortable attitudes towards sex as well.




That open-minded fluffy shit might fly up north, but not down here in the good 'ole U.S. of A. We like our football, our beer, and our repressed attitudes about sex. We like to be tantalized with media representations of it but when it comes to talking about it openly in public (especially with our kids)....oh hell no!


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OfflineThe_Red_Crayon
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338751 - 02/25/06 06:33 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

My mom never gave me that talk. This is what happens when your raised in a UltraChristian household.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Redstorm]
    #5338763 - 02/25/06 06:36 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Redstorm said:
I never got "the talk" but I did get a talk when my parents found my research on my gf missing periods and other various signs that pointed towards prenancy in the internet history.

They weren't too happy about that.




Wasn't your dad slapping you on the back?

I had a friend that was having sex with his girlfriend (he was 18 and she was 16). It was totally top secret. Well, she went to the gynecologist for a routine checkup and the doctor told her parents, "she's having sex". Her parents were real conservative so they were pissed. But, they tried to be open-minded about it. The next day when my friend came to pick her up there were STD and pregnancy pamphlets all over the kitchen table. The girlfriend, girlfriend's mom, and girlfriend's dad were sitting there. The mom was quietly crying and saying, "Well...you need to read this information in order to make safe decisions".

Talk about fucking awkward. That same day he told me all of this as we got loaded and we had a good laugh about it.


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338774 - 02/25/06 06:41 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I think my Dad was just pissed because he thought I knocked up my gf when I was still in highschool.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Redstorm]
    #5338787 - 02/25/06 06:45 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Redstorm said:
I think my Dad was just pissed because he thought I knocked up my gf when I was still in highschool.




That bitch that dumped you?

BTW, how's your love life going? Did you nail that one chick yet? I'm currently messaging a 38 year old truck driver woman on Myspace and I think she might want some no-strings attached sex.


Edited by RandalFlagg (02/25/06 06:45 PM)


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338795 - 02/25/06 06:46 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah, the chick who dumped me. That's the only girl I've ever had sex with.

I dunno about the art chick. I haven't talked to her in a little while, so I think it's probably not gonna work. Who knows, though. Girls are weird like that.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Redstorm]
    #5338808 - 02/25/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Redstorm said:
I dunno about the art chick. I haven't talked to her in a little while, so I think it's probably not gonna work. Who knows, though. Girls are weird like that.




Maybe you weren't spacey, pretentious, and effeminate enough for her?


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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5338815 - 02/25/06 06:52 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I may not be very spacey or effeminate, but I would hope the extra pretentiousness would make up for it.


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5339417 - 02/25/06 09:53 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

BTW, how's your love life going? Did you nail that one chick yet? I'm currently messaging a 38 year old truck driver woman on Myspace and I think she might want some no-strings attached sex.




Truck driver eh??


I got "the talk" from my dad after my brother asked an embarassing question at the dinner table.  Keep in mind I grew up in a very relaxed atmosphere, religion was never pushed on me, I was able to do what I wanted as long as my homework was done before.  I'm serious too, no curfews, never grounded, nothing.  Anyways, my brother asked "Dad, how are babies made?  I know that your thing gets hard and you stick it up in the girl, but then what?  Do you pee up there?  Cuz if that's the case, I don't ever want to have sex."

We were done with dinner at that point. :smirk:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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InvisibleGnuBobo
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #5339423 - 02/25/06 09:56 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

:rofl2:


--------------------
Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5339443 - 02/25/06 10:02 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Never had the talk.
Mom said "be careful" and i was like "k".
Read that "how babies are made" book when i was 4 tho, and it is probably the best fucking way to introduce the concept.

That and making "sandwichs" with the hot neighbor girl at age 5 :wink:


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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OfflineKaptKid
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #5339444 - 02/25/06 10:02 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

That made me laugh.

Thanks


:sun:


--------------------
Child of the 60's, Tripping ever since.


:sun:


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OfflineMatthewJW
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Re: The "Talk" [Re: KaptKid]
    #5339688 - 02/25/06 10:57 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I never got the "talk". I kept hearing it mentioned, and ended up finding out what sex was by pictures on the internet >_<.


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