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LuNaTiX
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Gods Punishment and Gift to me
#5335575 - 02/24/06 05:29 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I?m going to share an important experience I had. Now, I was never very religious? to be perfectly honest I hated it, I never cared for it. To believe there was heaven and hell was just jibberish. But recently I experienced hell first hand.
Simply put, I went insane, literally. I never had many hallucinations, except when I?d look at lights, for example, I?d look at a car light, I?d see a psychedelic rainbow type radiation coming from that light source.
I seen a lot of shit during my mental episode, I seen a van which seemed to have a body bag inside it and a single candle burning, like some sort of ritual. Like I said before, I never hallucinated visually; it was mostly my thoughts and ideas that were mixed up.
I did an experiment using salt(a shitload), water, peroxide, and canola oil and three pot plants. I placed the three pot plants into the mixture which was inside a metal bowl. After awhile there was a dark dark spot at the bottom of the metal bowl. Sometime after that I looked at the experiment and there was a seed with a root sticking out. (I placed the metal bowl on an old pc case, and the case?s metal coating melted away) This is where the fun started. I took the three plants and seeds in my hands and ran out of the house with just a pair of jeans on, I ran into the woods. What happened in the woods was the color of the trees around me started to change from green to yellow and red and all the colors of fall. (now this was more then likely a hallucination) The seed slowly began to dig into my skin of my hand, but it felt very natural, untell it was completely into the palm of my hand, and then when I moved my thumb (where it seemed to root into my hand) it would be painful like a growing pain. I walked out of the woods feeling like I could do anything. I ended up running down the highway bare feet, keeping up with the cars mind you.
Now I know that is a lot of hard to believe shit and I don?t think the seed actually went into my hand, but I am so sure that there was a seed.
So I went home and my dad found me, I told him ?you must think I?m crazy? he said ?what do you think?!? and that?s when we decided to go get some help. Went to my family doctor and he prescribed something for agitated depression, the medication didn?t help at all so I went to the hospital, at the hospital the doctor refused to see me because I think he thought I was just another druggy, but I had been completely sober for two months. So I went home again and the shit hit the fan, I ended up leaving all the doors to my parents house open, fridge opened shit all over the place, and I went and busted a window at mc Donald?s, then broke into someone?s house and then got chased by cops. I resisted arrest, and assaulted a police officer by kicking him off of me. The police officer pinned me down and busted me GTA style.
I spent the night in jail, and it was hell, I was trippin balls throwing shit around yelling, kicking shit, I even washed the whole cell with my socks and toilet water. The police just thought I was on xtc or some kinda drug so they just watched and laughed.
The morning came and they decided to bring me to the hospital, and demanded the doctor come take a look at me. I spent a month in the hospital on the psych ward, and I can not stress enough what its like to be tripping out all the time for a month, The medication barely worked. I went home again and after two weeks I went back into another episode and was re-admited for another month. I?m on good medication now and I seem to be ok.
All I can say is enjoy ur sanity, because you may take drugs to get a taste of insanity, but I take drugs to get a taste of sanity.
The punishment from god was everything I went through; the gift is the new perception life has given me; with all the shit I been through, I believe there is a power greater then mankind, and the world no longer revolves around my little world. The other gift is a potential breakthrough in plant breeding if that seed I was talking about was actually real, all I need to do is try to figure out what I did.
Im sorry if this was boring, but I just felt I needed to get it out.
- http://www.plantcell.org/cgi/content/full/14/suppl_1/S165
Quote:
Low temperature, drought, and high salinity are common stress conditions that adversely affect plant growth and crop production. The cellular and molecular responses of plants to environmental stress have been studied intensively (Thomashow, 1999; Hasegawa et al., 2000). Understanding the mechanisms by which plants perceive environmental signals and transmit the signals to cellular machinery to activate adaptive responses is of fundamental importance to biology. Knowledge about stress signal transduction is also vital for continued development of rational breeding and transgenic strategies to improve stress tolerance in crops.
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Edited by LuNaTiX (02/24/06 06:05 PM)
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger


Registered: 03/12/02
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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: LuNaTiX]
#5337167 - 02/25/06 04:49 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
LuNaTiX said: I?m going to share an important experience I had. Now, I was never very religious? to be perfectly honest I hated it, I never cared for it. To believe there was heaven and hell was just jibberish. But recently I experienced hell first hand.
Quote:
Simply put, I went insane, literally.
Are you implying that your experience while being mentally insane confirms the existance of some God and some system of heaven and hell?
If so, then no. You liken your experience to be that of hell, and it is, for you. The reality of anything beyond that is not even addressed by your experience, and it confirms nothing beyond it.
 Peace.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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LuNaTiX
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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: fireworks_god]
#5337434 - 02/25/06 09:19 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm not trying to prove that there is a heaven and hell, im just shareing my beliefs. Noone can prove that heaven and hell exist, its all in the mind.
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger


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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: LuNaTiX]
#5337735 - 02/25/06 11:44 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Are you also asserting that your beliefs are right, that there is a heaven and a hell?
That is to say, are you simply stating that you believe in a conceptual heaven and hell, regarding your experience, or believing that there is a heaven and hell, because of your experience?
I'm simply wondering that, if you know there is no way to substantiate such a belief, are you still holding the belief as a belief.
If it is purely a speculative matter, than the word "belief" should not be invoked, in any degree.
 Peace.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs


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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: LuNaTiX]
#5337776 - 02/25/06 11:57 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I don't think God is punishing you for something. At least the God I believe in wouldn't do that. Seems to me that you are punishing yourself, or at least feel guilty about something, maybe about taking drugs and this episode you had made you want no more hallucinations. You'd probably do yourself a favor by doing a lot of positive thinking and maybe you'll come to the conclusion that God didn't do that to you. This kind of mentality is promoted by the Christianity, this kind of "punishing" God, but who says the Christianity know anything about God? I'm not saying that what you've through has no purpose, but I believe that the purpose is not the one you think. Of course you probably did something bad. But we all do. And this is not the God's way of showing us that we're doing it wrong. Because if it would be like that, what happens with the free will? We have the duty to learn from our mistakes, and in order to learn, we must make mistakes. Believe in yourself and you'll get better. But really believe that you can. And that there's nothing that you can't face and fight with. It sounds and it is hard, but it's the only way.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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fireworks_god
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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: MushroomTrip]
#5337813 - 02/25/06 12:09 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: This kind of mentality is promoted by the Christianity, this kind of "punishing" God, but who says the Christianity know anything about God
Who says that you do? You give him an explanation that his conclusion regarding his belief in God is something else entirely, but yet his explanation is just as valid as your own because it is nothing that can be validated or substantiated.
I'm sure God is punishing him. After all, it is his interpretation that God is that validates that God is punishing him. Something that does not exist to us but as a concept can take any form that we give it. 
 Peace.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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LuNaTiX
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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: MushroomTrip]
#5337871 - 02/25/06 12:27 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well I did my fair share of evil things to people in my time, I figured it was punishment for that. But you are right, the god im thinking of wouldn't do that to me, but I still feel I got a taste of what hell would be like if there actully is a hell.
Thanks for your kind words, I think you are right.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs


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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: fireworks_god]
#5337888 - 02/25/06 12:34 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm not saying that he must believe in my God. I said that's the way I see God. Also I said that this immage he has is most promoted by christianity. Ans I strongly believe in the way I percieve God. I'm not forcin anyone to siuck to what I believe. But ascking me how do I know sonds pretty dumb. I know because I feel, and that's enough for me. I'm not saying that I couldn't be wrong, but I feel I'm right.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger


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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: MushroomTrip]
#5337913 - 02/25/06 12:46 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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What good is an unjustified feeling of being right or of knowing something that one has no means by which to know?
 Peace.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Gods Punishment and Gift to me [Re: LuNaTiX]
#5338712 - 02/25/06 06:17 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm glad I could help, hope you'll feel better and find the meaning of what you've been through.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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