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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Here are some of my poems
#5334131 - 02/24/06 04:49 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Since I'm posting mu poems on The Mushroom Army why not share it here?
I might post more but we'll see
Some poems are depressive and some are sad. Some may be weird but just read on... 
Should I:
Should I go to the kitchen and grab a knife? Should I take the knife and make a cut?
Would you accept me although I cut? Would you still talk to me?
Could I please tell you what's going on? Could I please come over and give you a hug right now?
Should I stay strong and resist the urges? Should I tell you that I'm relapsing?
Would you believe me when I told you that I'm doing worse then you'd think? Would you believe me when I'd tell you that I got more scars?
Could I please show 'em to you? Could we please sit down and let me tell you everything there is to tell?
The thing is that I can't tell you everything, it's hard for me to tell someone everything. I've told you most of it but telling you all is a step I can't take yet.
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
You're Still:
I'm sorry, But I still think a lot about you. I'm sorry, But I still dream about you. I'm sorry, That I can't put you out of my mind.
In my dreams we're still together, In my dreams we're hugging, In my dreams I'm lying next to you, In my dreams we're walking down a long road, Just the two of us all alone and enjoying eachothers company, It's a dream I know that but they sure are good.
You're still in my thoughts, You're still in my heart, You're still the one that I love, You're still the one that I think off before I fall asleep,
I still love you and I can't make it go away, But do I even want to let the feeling go away? No I don't because it's the best feeling I've had in a long while!
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
The Act:
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, if you're still sharp.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, where I should cut.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, how deep I should go.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, if I should even cut right now.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why my cuts don't heal.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why I am like this.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why I had to go through all of this.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, what there is for me in the future.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why I can't relate to anyone else.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why I have always been left out.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, what everyone would think if they'd know.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, what everyone would think if they'd find me dead.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, how I'd kill myself.
Here I am, sitting in my room. Trying to figure out, why I'm disgusted by myself.
The time has come, to clean up my blood...
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
My Life:
My life, has never been easy. My life, has always been filled with pain. My life, has always been filled with tears, tears I couldn't shed. My life, has always been filled with anger. My life, has always been filled with hate. My life, has always been filled with fights, fights I couldn't control anymore. My life, has never been the way I really want it to be.
My life, is spinning out of control. My life, has been going down again lately. My life, has never been more fucked then it is right now. My life, has never been filled with more blood.
I'm, losing the battle. I'm, trying to gain control. I'm, trying to get back on ground again.
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
We'll Pull Through:
One day, we will be stronger. One day, we will both be happy. One day, We wipll look back and be proud that we conquered this. One day, we will lie in eachother's arms and be able to feel happy without feeling fucked in the back of our minds. One day, We will live happily ever after. One day, We will find ourselves.
I'll help you conquer this. I'll try to make you happy. I'll try to cheer you up. I'll always try to be here if you need to talk. I'll always be here here if you need a hug. I'll alwayus be here if you need a shoulder to cry on. I'll always be here if you need to get everything of your chest.
We both got our own things to worry about. We both got our own shit that needs to be sorted out. We both got our own ways of dealing with it. But I'll try to help you if you need something. Whatever it is I'll be here and you can ask me anything you want!
I won't leave you, I won't leave you dealing all of this on your own, I'm here for you if you need something.
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
Unable: I've nevermet someone like you, Someone who could make me love you so much, Someone who could open me up, someone who could get to know the real me,
Someone who's as nice as you, Someone who's as beautifull as you, someone who's as sweet as you, someone who I loved more,
Sitting here in my room, Thinking about you. sitting here in my room, Missing you. Sitting here in my room, crying. Sitting here in my room, Unable to think of anything else but you.
Unable, to speak. nable, to smile. Unable, to stop thinking of you.
Waiting, For you to come online. Waiting, For your next text message. Waiting, For your call. Waiting, For you to arrive by train. Waiting, For the pain to fade.
I can't, Stop thinking about you. I can't, concentrate on my job. I can't, Continue to opress my sadness. I can't, Stop missing you.
Lying in bed, thinking about you. Lying in bed, Waiting for my dream to start. Lying in bed, next to mini-you. Lying in bed, Hoping that everything will turn out the way I hope it to. Lying in bed, crying.
I never knew, that I could miss you this much. I never knew, that I could cry this much.
There are, no words that can describe how I feel right now. There are, no words that can describe how I feel about you. There are, no words that describe how much I love you. There is, something gone inside of me.
something that belongs there, Something that fits exactly in my personality, Something that makes me feel great and in love!
Why did it have to end this way? I know it's the best like this but damn it hurts...
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
I'm a ticking timebomb:
I'm a timebomb, waiting to go off. I'm a timebomb, I sit in your mind. I'm a timebomb, and I can't be stopped I'm a timebomb, and I've changed your soul. I'm a timebomb, I've consumed your inner self. I'm a timebomb, and time is running out. I'm a timebomb, And once I detonate my true power will be shown. I'm a timebomb, and once I detonate there won't be much of you left. I'm a timebomb, I'm ready to destroy you!
I'm your master and you are my slave. I got controll over you and there is nothing you can do to stop this! You can cut all you want, You can scream all you want, You can take pills if you want to, You can go see a shrink, You can run away from your mind, But I'll survive it all!
I'm a timebomb and there are too many wires to cut before you can stop me. There are too many wires to cut before you can be a happy again. There are too many wires to cut and you aren't able to cut them all! And I'll always be in the back of your mind!
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
Sometimes:
Sometimes all I want to do is sit and and stare, Sometimes all I want to do is sit and think, Sometimes all I want to do is sit and sleep, But there are also times that I enjoy, but they are becoming rare.
I haven't been able to really enjoy something in a while,
I feel disconnected, I feel lonely, I feel alianated, I feel helpless, I feel powerless, I feel soulless, There's no "me" left and I have no idea on where it is right now.
All I do is listen to music and keep my mouth shut, I don't want to talk and I don't want to go out and try to find myself again.
I can't, I don't have the energy left to do it.
I can't, I don't have the courage to come out and tell everyone how fucked I feel.
Some know, but they don't know it all. I can't simply show them how I feel 'cause I would feel even more fucked afterwards.
It's my last defense and everything there's left before they gain complete acces to myself, to how I feel and to how I think.
I want to take the last wall down but I can't...
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5337214 - 02/25/06 06:30 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Where will this road go:
Where will this road go? Will it lead me down to happiness?
Where will this road go? Will it lead me down to an even worse depression?
Where will this road go? Will it lead me down to hell?
Where will this road go? Will it lead me down to you?
Where will this road go? Will it lead me down to everything I owned before I lost it?
Where will this road go? Will it lead me to my past?
Please give me an answer, I'm tired of waiting!
==================================================================================================================== ====================================================================================================================
What are you trying to tell me?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you're feeling fucked?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you're starting to cut again?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you're fed up feeling like this?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you're about to give up?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you need a break from it all?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you don't know what do with your life?
What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me that you've got no idea what the fuck is wrong with you?
Well let me tell you one thing, there's a lot of things that are wrong about you and I'm not even going to start explaining it to you. It's something that cannot be explained, something that sits inside my heart but it's unable for you to view in to.
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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stefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5337217 - 02/25/06 06:40 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I read the first two and didn't read further because it's hard to read. These seems to be no metre in these poems ('metrum' in dutch. here's a link : http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrum and another one: http://www.digischool.nl/ne/fictie/stijlfiguren/03%20ritme&metrum.htm). You really need to work on that because otherwise it's more like loose sentences that you can associate with each other but it isn't really a poem I think.
I see you're quite productive and don't lack ideas, just keep practicing and read up on some poetry theory
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: stefan]
#5337223 - 02/25/06 06:48 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I will thnx I started writing about 3 or 4 months ago so I'm still practicing but it's a good way to get something off my chest
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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stefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5337231 - 02/25/06 06:57 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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indeed, all forms of art are good for that 
it might also be a good idea to read the sample sentences on those sites that I linked out loud, that way it's easier to know what they mean. Then try to look up some poems on the internet or in a book and read them out loud and then you probably have a good idea what this metre is all about. good luck
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: stefan]
#5337237 - 02/25/06 07:00 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah I was just doing that. I was just reading up some sentences on another website that explained it as well.
Thnx
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5338981 - 02/25/06 07:47 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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How about this one
You lost it a long time ago:
You lost it a long time ago. We tend to have a long history together. But will this be your final blow? We belong together, we shouldn't part.
You don't really know what do to, do you? You've always tried to beat me. But really dou don't even have the faintest clue. Let me give you an advise, just give up.
All you do is sit and hope. Hope that some day I'll leave you alone. But I've already got you a rope. A rope for you to hang on.
I've already wrote a final note. A note where you tell everyone why you're dead. It's the last thing I've ever wrote. It's the last sentence and you've reached your final moments.
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
Edited by Brakkie (02/25/06 07:48 PM)
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5339071 - 02/25/06 08:12 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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wow, huge improvement man, way to go!
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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stefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5340158 - 02/26/06 04:42 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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indeed an improvement. keep making them with those new rules in mind
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: stefan]
#5340207 - 02/26/06 06:15 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thnx a lot for helping me out
Glad you like it
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5340465 - 02/26/06 09:56 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Just trying some new rhyme schedules...
Here I am again, cleaning up the blood. The wound is fresh, and the blood is still wet. Picking up a tissue, to clean it all up. And yet again, my arm has another cut.
I cleaned up the blood on my arm, And now it's time to clean my knife. Why are you asking about my cuts? I ain't doing anyone harm!
The scars don't fade, just like my pain. There are too many scars, and they're here to stay. You don't seem to understand, that I love my scars. you don't seem to understand, that I'd love to see my veins.
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5351898 - 03/01/06 12:32 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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This blade is sharp...
This blade is sharper then I thought, and I had to find out the hard way. I had to stop the cut for the first time, and I wasn't even halfway. I tried to make another cut, and this time I succeeded. My day started off fine, but after all it sucked and this is what I needed.
The blood is going down my arm, I'm letting it go free this time. The blood travels all the way down to my wrist, and it's the one vein that I've always missed. Don't ask me if I'd wish to cut my wrist though, cause I might want to do it after all. But it won't be a nice way to go down, cause there'll be blood all over the wall.
I seem to cut more and more recently, and I don't really know why. It might be because I'm unable to speak, or because I'm unable to cry. I can't let my tears go free, and I haven't been able to cry in a long while. I haven't been able to show a lot of emotions lately, I can't even smile.
Let me go to the bathroom real quick, the blood has reached my hand and is dripping of my hand. I don't care for the pain, it's a feeling that's easy to withstand. The cut will heal again, and another scar will find it's place on my arm. I don't hate my scars and cuts, each and every one of them has a certain charm.
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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stefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5352723 - 03/01/06 08:53 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I don't think you get metre-thing yet...
a sentence needs to be made of 1 'structure', for example a jambe. Maybe start with a poem with 1 of these structures troughout it and start with using short sentences.
look at this poem for (a very clear and good!) example: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/5350043/an/0/page/0
something I wrote when I was learning this afternoon: (do you see that it's a 'trochee'?)
endless strings of information all have to be read and without procastrination they would all be in my head
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: stefan]
#5363818 - 03/04/06 07:03 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thank you so much for helping me out!
I'm working on another poem right now and I'll post it when it's done. I'm paying extra attention to metre this time!
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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scotsman1
addict


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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5364014 - 03/04/06 09:28 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Nice, i likes........
-------------------- We're Bought and Sold For English Gold
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mjshroomer
Sage
Registered: 07/21/99
Posts: 13,774
Loc: gone with my shrooms
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5364265 - 03/04/06 11:12 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Do you dress in Black?
Cool lines but a little dark. Dark is good but should have some humor to balance the mood.
Was it all in vein? you ask?
mj
enjoyable
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: mjshroomer]
#5367118 - 03/05/06 11:25 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Nope I do not dress in black... I dress like a skater if you want to put a code on me... But I only got 1 black sweater...
Quote:
Was it all in vein? you ask?
What do you mean? If I'd hit a vein last time? Well not any large veins though... It bled quit a bit but I tend to bleed pretty quickly so...
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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mjshroomer
Sage
Registered: 07/21/99
Posts: 13,774
Loc: gone with my shrooms
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: Brakkie]
#5370122 - 03/06/06 08:35 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Remided me of Lou Reed and Nico and the Velvet Underground.
I liked your two verses above and the ones ont he first page of this thread. The vein was a joke.
Remember, you must have eread my bath Which Feeds upon then blleds peom at my site.
still yu have something going with your poems.
mj
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LuciferSam
no turn leftunstoned


Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 426
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: mjshroomer]
#5370293 - 03/06/06 09:54 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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One of my faves by John Cooper Clarke:
Like a Night Club in the morning, you?re the bitter end. Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you?re clean round the bend. You give me the horrors too bad to be true All of my tomorrow?s are lousy coz of you. You put the Shat in Shatter Put the Pain in Spain Your germs are splattered about Your face is just a stain
You?re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag. Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.
You?re like a dose of scabies, I?ve got you under my skin. You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!
People mention murder, the moment you arrive. I?d consider killing you if I thought you were alive. You?ve got this slippery quality, it makes me think of phlegm, and a dual personality I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay. Please, please, please, please, take yourself away. Like a death at a birthday party, you ruin all the fun. Like a sucked and spat out Smartie, you?re no use to anyone. Like the shadow of the guillotine on a dead consumptive?s face... Speaking as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
You went to a progressive psychiatrist, He recommended suicide... before scratching your bad name off his list, and pointing the way outside.
You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart. You?re heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart.
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss. Your attitudes are platitudes, just make me wanna piss.
What kind of creature bore you Was it some kind of bat? They can?t find a good word for you, but I can... TWAT.
LYRICS ? JOHN COOPER CLARKE
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Here are some of my poems [Re: LuciferSam]
#5377203 - 03/08/06 10:53 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Let me tell you a story, About what happened in my sleep. About the thoughts that I keep.
I was thinking about you, and I'm still figuring out the clue. Why I had this dream about you.
I was dreaming that you were there. That I had my arm around you, But all I had was my pandabear. *** I've a lot of memories about you, And those will stay in my heart. Nothing can tear the memories apart.
I've tried to stop thinking about you, You've found your place in my heart, And you aren't willing to leave.
But that's fine with me, I love it. I don't want to stop thinking of you. Sorry but I just had to admit.
I have to admit that I still like you...
*** = pandabear was a gift she gave me because I used to call her that... She had a nickname for me as well... but I'm not gonna say that...
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
Edited by Brakkie (03/08/06 10:57 AM)
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