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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: demiu5]
#5319776 - 02/20/06 12:25 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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That definitively will do some very good !
Edited by BlueCoyote (02/20/06 12:31 PM)
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: demiu5]
#5319850 - 02/20/06 12:51 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hmm perhaps I should try to elaborate, but it is hard work for me But as friendship is some serious stuff in my eyes, I will do 
As I see it, respect builds on resonating with ideas. As ideas are subjective by definition, it is not quite naturally true that they will resonate that easy with everyones perception and actions.
And I would think, that friendship builds on respect very strongly. If there is no respect in your friendship, you may have a good time perhaps, but you never can be sure of it, as you are not sure of the resonance with your ideas and intentions.
This makes base for friendship and if those ideas and intentions will not be shared somehow, respect will fall and so will friendship do. Single mean to rebuild is to synchronize ideas again, in whatever form and manner. Action is only a layer.
But, if not retreating/divorcing/splitting from following your friend, the danger will be to loose your ideals yourself, as intentions and ideas could be re-programmed by the actions you do while following your friends intention.
Be sure about the intentions aka ideas behind the actions, and if they are not according to yours in any subjective way, plan a divorce until you will find a way to communicate ideals again.
(But somehow, I really must admit, I have a friend who is 'intellectual satanist' [directly opposite to me], but somehow he also wants the wilderness on the planet to persist and the human to be individually free, and I don't see him do evil acts. at the opposite, he is in general a quite nice guiy, so I can stay friend with him, also, because I know him soso long and see the the 'benevolent' (good-wanting for all) still inside of him, whicked by his way of interpretation.)
Ps:But the more I try to concretisize it again, the diffuser I get. Orientate by my first post, please
Edited by BlueCoyote (02/20/06 12:59 PM)
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: BlueCoyote]
#5319914 - 02/20/06 01:14 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I think I have to come to a temporary conclusion...
I need not worry about my feelings so much in this situation. Her actions are her own and seeing as how they were not directed towards me, and have very little to do with me, I shouldn't be overly concerned.
I also realized I am more concerned about her. She gave herself to a guy for the first time. She hangs on every word of his and he, for the most part treats her like shit. They aren't really even in a relationship, but she has led herself down a dark trail. She even admits this yet continues on. He goes weeks at a time with no contact, then pops back up. She says horrible things about him, but once he comes back, all is magically forgiven. He is the type that asks for more chances repeatedly because he knows he will fuck up, and almost seems to do so intentionally. He works in the ways on manipulation, and it is obvious; he treats women like absolute and utter shit. These things will continute, and she will further fall into worse states, but she remains. This girl means much to me, maybe even too much.
I have to get ready to get to class now, I will try to come back and elaborate. I'm still not sure how our friendship will fare, because she knows I'm not pleased, she knows. But I will try to make the best of it.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: demiu5]
#5319951 - 02/20/06 01:24 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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What kind of 'adventure' does she seek ?
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: demiu5]
#5320003 - 02/20/06 01:45 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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How can that make you lose respect for her?
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: dorkus]
#5320276 - 02/20/06 03:12 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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BlueCoyote: I can't explain to you what she seeks. I know some of the things, and others I don't. She wants simplicity and thrilling adventures. She is still young, as am I, but she has much growing to do (not saying I or anyone else doesn't, but you'd have to know her or know the type).
dr_mandelbrot: This is something she and I have spent hours talking about. It is something she truly felt was important, and not something to be wasted. And then she did, on someone who she knows will let her down; even moreso, it was a sporadic event (as she explained to me). It can't, technically, 'make' me lose respect, but I have. I think it will be okay, but time will be the ultimate deciding factor. It's going to be one of those things to just move on from, but I will not look at her the same way, ever, it is just not that way.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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justAkid
Member of myCulture

Registered: 11/05/05
Posts: 323
Loc: The Present
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: demiu5]
#5322132 - 02/20/06 10:18 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I know exactly the type of girl you're talking about. I was close friends with one once myself.
When I saw her and I saw the way she was being treated I wanted to show her how a real relationship is supposed to be. She was bulimic because her boyfriend constantly told her she needed to lose weight. She also thought she deserved less than everyone else because of the way she was constantly treated.
I decided that showing compassionate Love and assuring her of her self-worth was the best route.
Now to answer your question.
She has lost her self-respect so it is very easy to lose for her as well. But this is part of the problem. When people don't show respect for themselves they are less likely to receive respect from others thus even furthering their self-degradation. Instead of losing respect choose to see her as in pain, and it is up to you to save her from herself. You are her friend and she needs help and she needs Love(compassion).
Remember love(romantic) is a drug and she is addicted to this man and she will go through hell to get her fix. I think you would help a friend addicted to drugs.
-------------------- Trust thyself.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Is it possible... [Re: justAkid]
#5323162 - 02/21/06 07:45 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I know she's addicted to him, she told me that after the first time she saw him again. But she doesn't want saving, therefore it's not my place to try.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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