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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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well, its time again
#5297987 - 02/14/06 02:52 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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yea, i must once again, take a poopy.
normally its no biggie (im on a roll with these puns) but today, today its a problem. today im out of toilet paper... normally i could just drive down to the 24 grocery store and buy some. but on the 12th my drivers license got taken away...
the only thing left is to ask my roomy (who is a japanese female) who id be way too embarassed to ask, or wake up my friend on the other side of the apartment building... or use the shower... lol 
or i can risk it and drive anyway an pray to god i dont get pulledover for whatever reason, but i have the bad luck of always gettign pulled over in the worst times... 
or should i run into my clsoed college and hope security doesnt see me?
hmm.... dilemas dilemas
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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badlydrawnboy
Witnessing


Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 313
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5297990 - 02/14/06 02:55 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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umm... tissues?
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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i dont have those either...
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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TheCow
Stranger

Registered: 10/28/02
Posts: 4,790
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5297993 - 02/14/06 02:57 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Ha one time a month ago I had to use a brown paper bag as toilet paper. Some bag that groceries came in.
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: well, its time again [Re: TheCow]
#5297994 - 02/14/06 02:58 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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all my groceries come in plastic bags... which i throw away
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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TheCow
Stranger

Registered: 10/28/02
Posts: 4,790
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5297997 - 02/14/06 03:00 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Realistically if you just have to take a shit, your ass wont be 'that' dirty.
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TheCow
Stranger

Registered: 10/28/02
Posts: 4,790
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: TheCow]
#5297998 - 02/14/06 03:01 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I still maintain however that you can locate some sort of paper. How about just white lined paper?
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mrsautoman
Don't DriveAngry


Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 166
Loc: Dirty South
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5297999 - 02/14/06 03:06 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
eligal said: out of toilet paper...
Coffee filters.
Housecats.
Let us know if everything comes out okay.
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~I was born of a voice untimely, the so-called echo of a man's ordure~
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: well, its time again [Re: mrsautoman]
#5298008 - 02/14/06 03:17 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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well i have no lined paper, just plain white paper  i dont drink coffee so no coffee filters, no do i have any pets.
but no fear!! i jsut took a nice big shit. and i cleaned myself!! yes its true.
you see, my roommate who sleeps in the living room is gone for a month to japan. now, i didnt think he ever bought toilet paper because he uses my bathroom and leaches off of my toilet paper. but then, while i was sitting here with my buttox clenched, i remembered, hes japanese!!! what does this have to do with anything? it has to do with everything!! because japanese people dont use napkins (for real), they use toilet paper! so i went into his room and next to his food stuff, where napkins would be, was a roll of toilet paper!!

for once i actually like having roommates
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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gregorio
Too Damn Old


Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,831
Loc: Classified
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5298070 - 02/14/06 04:46 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Um.....fingers, then soap and hot water.
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: well, its time again [Re: gregorio]
#5298072 - 02/14/06 04:49 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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dude, problem solved, dont worry. i had my dog lick it (hey, he licks his own ass, mgiht as well lick my as well ).
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5298101 - 02/14/06 05:18 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Your in Cali so I'm guessing your around trees that still have leaves, just gather some of those.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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i_have_boobies
MoonUnit Zappa


Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 28
Loc: in yo mama... jk, your da...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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wow, im glad everything turned out ok! lol
-------------------- "A friend with Weed, is a friend Indeed!" "Why cant we all just get a bong?"
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XUL
OTD Janitor


Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: well, its time again [Re: eligal]
#5298552 - 02/14/06 09:55 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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after eating the dinning hall food I took a shit of epic proportions. It was one of those ones that hurt commin out.
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TRUMP 2020
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Dfekt
Your mother wouldn't approve...


Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 586
Loc: UK
Last seen: 7 months, 9 days
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Re: well, its time again [Re: XUL]
#5298632 - 02/14/06 10:28 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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You can avoid this problem in future my simply taking all your shits at work. Not only will you be saving money on toilet paper (which you can then steal and take home with you), you'll be getting paid to do it! As well as saving yourself vaulable personal time which could be better spent drinking in the pub or downloading porn...
-------------------- "Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." ~Oscar Wilde
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: well, its time again [Re: Dfekt]
#5300203 - 02/14/06 06:00 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MistaMiner said: You can avoid this problem in future my simply taking all your shits at work. Not only will you be saving money on toilet paper (which you can then steal and take home with you), you'll be getting paid to do it! As well as saving yourself vaulable personal time which could be better spent drinking in the pub or downloading porn...
lol, i used to do this when i worked at the japanese grocery store... every day when it started getting slow and i couldnt find too much work, id go and take a shit. i went 4 months without buying toilet paper  now i could do it at the gym or school, but eh, much prefer the comfort of my own home...
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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