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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Best-friends!
    #5295728 - 02/13/06 04:40 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I have been blessed with the gift of having best friends for a good hunk of my early life.

You know how it is, hopefully.... you're a little kid and you have a best-friend that is almost inseparable. You have sleep-overs, talk about EVERYTHING, do EVERYTHING, love EVERYTHING together. You have favorite games to play. You are constant companions. You share yourselves completely and its the most natural thing in the world to do.

Then one day you realize that you are old, empty, and alone. Your current friends aren't 1/100th of what they should be and of what your childhood friends were.

What happened to best-friends? There is a soul-link between true best-friends that I am missing so much. When I really think about it it that's probably one of the biggest things that is missing in my life.

It's a two-way street, I have to be willing to open up..... I don't know.

I had so many priceless memories with a few key friends..... it seems like you are complete soul-mates with your pals when you're really young, and that those are the best relationships you will ever have in your life.

But I don't want to accept that my life peaked at 10 years old. :frown:

Where is my companion and confidant? I mean, you just sit down next to them, say hi, and blammo best friends until departure.... how is it now? I know, you really have to work, you have to open yourself up and restore the child-like innocence, but then how do you find someeone else willing to do the same?

I never had to work for any single one of my friends ever in my entire life. We just met. It just worked. It's not that way now.... why? I'm still me and I'm worth loving and am willing to love.... I don't feel like I have the initiative to go force encounters with people so I can find new "soul-companions" ........

I don't get it.

My closest ever best friend was presented to me through my mom's college roomate. We'd still be best friends had I not moved and we still sometimes see each other though we've grown distant.

The second best friend I just sat next to in 1st grade and bam. (or something of the sorts).

The third was introduced to me at church. Bam, instant connection. The fourth was again met through class, though he ended up turning on me and moved away.

I don't know. It's like I was meant to have those friends. And it's like I'm not meant to have those kinds of friends right now anymore. I did not do anything really to encounter these friends, they just meshed with my personality (albeit a much more friendly and positive one than i have now)

am I missing opportunities or have they not yet come? Do I try to get along with random people?

I just, really don't..... know what to do. I just know they are missing.

But the one thing that gets to me is I was reunited with a child-hood friend here that goes to my school, and we haven't really done anything much of significance together. I don't know, I guess I will sometime soon run into him and just say to him you know, hey we shouldn't waste this chance to be best friends again...... I want us to hang out more.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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OfflineBobnasty
Just AppreciateNature
Male

Registered: 01/22/06
Posts: 158
Loc: Murder Mitten
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
Re: Best-friends! [Re: leery11]
    #5295790 - 02/13/06 04:54 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

The reason i am on shroomery is because of my best friend he is  the one that got me interested in it.  It's another thing that we have in common.  ALso he was the one that introduced me to marijuana.

GOOD Luck finding your BEST FRIEND :sunny: :bouncysmoke:


--------------------


"You're like the Detroit Lions, you never fail to disappoint" R.L.


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OfflineHB
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Best-friends! [Re: Bobnasty]
    #5297855 - 02/14/06 01:32 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

it seems that best friends when you are younger are that way for many reasons ...

you are more sensitive to life at that time, and take in the outside world more, as you were more recently born out of the 'one-all' ... as you grow up you move farther away from the one-all as you develop more of an ego ... so, you end up stuck thinking within yourself rather than thinking from watching the outside with such a fresh, young mind ... so young friendships seem more important ...

they are also the first friendships ... the first good experiences of ANYTHING in your life are always more amazing and filled with life than subsequent experiences ...

you also criticize friendships more as you age and learn more and have more of a sense of self ... so friendships when you are younger seem like they were more perfect than they probably were ... a lot of events in life are like that ...

in school, you're also destined to find somebody at some point with whom you completely identify ... so you see them every day at school, and have more to learn about them every day rather than friends as an adult where you have to work and sometimes just rest instead of going out ... or just deciding which friends to see ... so there's larger gaps in time between events with friends as an adult ...

when you're younger, you also are more of a sponge and take in ideas from those you really trust like a sponge, and emulate them to take the ideas on as your own as well ... so it seems you have more in common, but really you just haven't formed enough opinions through experience at those ages ... so with limited frame of reference, your opinions seem bigger and more profound than they've become in the transition to adulthood ...

but the bottom line i truly think is, you can have the same level of friendships as an adult ... i've found a few friends with whom i would trust with my life, and have conversations more deep than i could have had when i was younger ... you just have to actively seek out new people and see what they're about with a completely unbiased mindset and find those you feel a natural attraction to ...


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: Best-friends! [Re: leery11]
    #5297970 - 02/14/06 02:41 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

when youre older, good friends is still possible, but with harder to work with time scheduals and other hassles etc, it can become harder to start a friend. i noticed that once you reach a certain age, people almost avoid making new friends because they are already so busy with all their older friends. they have now set up barriers and expectations. when we are young we can mold together with other people, but when youre old, you have to already fit, otherwise it wont work, we cant change anymore. it is harder, and honestly im havin similar problems myself.


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Best-friends! [Re: leery11]
    #5298059 - 02/14/06 04:36 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i don't know the answer, dude, but that was a fucking great read. i feel ya.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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