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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Van Helsing has inspired me!!
#5293565 - 02/13/06 12:56 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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thats right. i jsut saw the opening part of the van helsing movie, and as corny as it seems, it really inspired me for this great porn idea!
so the scene is the scientist is with his back against the wall and grabs a sword, and points it forward to the bad guy, and is all like "stay back!" and the bad guy says, "you cant kill me victor" and then pushes himself into the blade, the sound of flesh being penetrated, the squishiness. Victors eyes go wide in astonishment  and the bad guy then goes, "im already dead."
now, it should be fairly obvious how i would translate that to a porn isnt it? theres the innocent yet manly male scientist with no way of defending himself but his naturally given enormous boner. and the evil seductress walks towards him in kinky leathers with a grin. "Stay back!" yells Victor. but the evil black haired woman and massive cleavage stares him right in the eye and says, "you cant kill me Victor" she then thrusts herself into his massive penis, the sounds of penetration filling the air with the sensation of tender gooiness and wet human flesh. she goes all the way, Victor with his eyes wide in astonishment, unable to comprehend what he is feeling and witnessing. "Victor, you can't kill me. I'm already dead."
oh lord!! would that not be a great scene for some porn?!?!
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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Konnrade
↑↑↓↓<--><-->BA



Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 13,833
Loc: LA Suburbs
Last seen: 8 months, 26 days
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: eligal]
#5293584 - 02/13/06 01:08 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Necrophile!
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I find your lack of faith disturbing
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Jadian
Ninja


Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,404
Loc: The desert
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: eligal]
#5293697 - 02/13/06 03:23 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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That movie is a disgrace to the Van Helsing name.
On a lighter note, there's a porn quite similar to that, the name is escaping me at the moment but it's got 4 "vampire" chicks in it
-------------------- LNC's official Alaskan stoner
 
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: Jadian]
#5293766 - 02/13/06 04:34 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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yea the movie sucked hard (ooh, a pun!). but i actually enjoyed it because from the very beginning of the film i translated it in my mind over to how it could become a porn scene. it was great, the swords were penises, the silver steaks were vibrators, when they went to romania/transilvania the whole town was a big orgy, and the vampire chicks were lesbians, and their little baby vampire bats were baby lesbians. all was goin good, but about half way through i kep thing, transilvania.... transilvania.... transilviania?? uh oh.....
yea, then it struck, the one thought i didnt want, but once it entered my mind, i couldnt get rid of it, and the rest of the movie became a horror. yea, transilvania. the vampire chicks were not chicks, they were transvestites....
and from there on the movie got kinkier and kinkier....
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: eligal]
#5293780 - 02/13/06 04:50 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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bow chicka wow wow
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Jadian
Ninja


Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,404
Loc: The desert
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: eligal]
#5293796 - 02/13/06 05:25 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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You could make it TranSILVIAna or something and have Silvia Saint star in it.
-------------------- LNC's official Alaskan stoner
 
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Konnrade
↑↑↓↓<--><-->BA



Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 13,833
Loc: LA Suburbs
Last seen: 8 months, 26 days
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Re: Van Helsing has inspired me!! [Re: eligal]
#5293859 - 02/13/06 06:22 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Van Helsing I think is a lot similar in quality and features to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Both of them took a whole bunch of known characters and shoved them all together in order to try and be appealing and novel. Both of them were set in the 19th century (and tended to try too hard to make the 1800's seem cool). Both of them took way too many liberties with the characters. Both of them were an insult to most of the characters. Both of them got a LOT of things wrong. Both of them were pretty awful films.
But, both of them looked pretty, were amusing the first time around, and had a lot of novelty crammed into them.
So, I hate the films... but I cant bring myself to hate them too much because they entertained me.
I will always... ALWAYS be pissed off, though, at how horribly The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen fucked up not only the character Captain Nemo, but also his Nautilus submarine and everything related to it. Jules Verne's version was great and didn't need to be slaughtered so badly.
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I find your lack of faith disturbing
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